Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 3rd, 2007
Be afraid. Be very afraid, if you are even thinking about picking up this rather lame title. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this film. The only way that Kill House has any chance of giving you nightmares is by putting you to sleep. If only I had been so lucky. Beth Dewey was the “mastermind” behind the whole thing. She wrote, directed, and acted as the killer in this piece of crap. Dewey ought to be arrested for grand larceny if even one person paid any real money for this picture. I would tell you som...thing about the plot, but there isn’t one. If anyone can tell me what in the heck this film was about, please let me know. Near as I can figure Sunny (Dewey) is some sociopath realtor. There is no rythme or reason for anything that happens anywhere in the film. It almost looks like they were pretty much making it up as they went along. I give Dewey an F as a director, an F as a writer, and an F- as an actress. At least Dewey appears to understand the low budget concept of: if you have nothing of value to say with your film, show lots of boobs and someone will watch it.
Video
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on June 10th, 2007
Synopsis
Gabrielle Anwar is a children’s author (of the Edward Gorey school, from the looks of things) who is haunted by intense nightmares. When she sees the house of her dreams on television, she heads out to the small town where it is located and rents the place. Sure enough, there are ghosts there. Fortunately, Forest Whitaker is also in the neighbourhood as a psychic investigator.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 6th, 2007
The opening credits are a frantic run of images that is pretty hard to actually watch. The segment is made worse by the constantly changing images and strobe light f/x. At first you get the idea you’re in for just another horror film made in the modern deluge of images style. Fortunately this is not a portent of things to come. With a little patience, you’re safely beyond these trappings and find yourself in a rather good film. If you’re able to follow this montage, you’ll be introduced to the bloody history of Gus...ave, a 25 foot crocodile. You’ll discover this killer is claiming a mounting number of human victims, most recently an acclaimed UN naturalist. Once the film actually begins, it will be some time before you are introduced directly to Gustave.
Three American journalists are sent to the heart of Africa on a mission to find and actually capture Gustave. The journey is no less treacherous than Gustave himself. A local dictator intent on genocide now calls himself Little Gustave, after the killer croc, and his hit squads don’t take too kindly to boats entering his domain. Some machine gun fire welcomes our intrepid Americans into the jungles. The reptile is worshipped as a god by many of the locals, as evidenced by a ritual the travelers must participate in to gain their trust. Top this off with a guide who has revenge on his mind and intends to go Ahab on Gustave. Before long we find that peril comes in many sizes on this trip.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 21st, 2007
Thora Birch (remember when she was the lead and Scarlett Johansson was her support?) Is a young woman with a loving husband. She is struggling to deal with anxiety as she undergoes fertility treatments, and is having vivid nightmares in which she is living in a run-down apartment, working in a grotesque mortuary, is beset by strange visions, and is being stalked by a murderer. Or is it the other way around, as this young woman keeps dreaming she is the young married. And that murderer stalks both worlds. What’s going...on?
Writer/director Ray Gower cites David Lynch among his film’s major influences, but he leaves out the most painfully obvious one: Jacob’s Ladder, which this film mimics both in narrative structure (jumping back and forth between possible realities) and in groaner ending that makes a hash out of what has come before. Sorry, but that kind of third-hand Twilight Zone gambit simply doesn’t cut it. Along the way, there are some effectively gruesome sequences, nicely spooky imagery, and though the performances are uneven (a television newscaster is painfully amateurish, but Birch acquits herself well), the story is still interesting enough that the viewer will stick with the film long enough to be miffed by the conclusion.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 18th, 2007
Blood & Chocolate is based upon the novel of the same name by Annette Curtis Klause, which was written in 1997 and has since been in the talks of screenplay adaptation. Written by Ehren Kruger (Arlington Road, Scream 3, The Ring) and directed by little known German director Katja von Garnier, Blood & Chocolate looks too impress.
It was refreshing to see a werewolf movie with a much different formula then were used to. Instead of the typical blood soaked horror we are presented with a dark an... somewhat more reasonable storyline. Vivian (Agnes Bruckner) and her family live in America, but when word spreads that they are a family of werewolves, a posse burns down their house and leaves everyone for dead. Vivian escapes and moves to Romania to be with her aunt Astrid and fellow werewolves. What interested me was the fact that these werewolves are proud. They come from a centuries old family of loup-garou’s (their fancy word for werewolves) that can shape shift on thought as opposed to the tiresome uncontrollable full moon fits of rage. They hunt only to survive and only on the full moons, and they avoid any public displays as they know if their identity is compromised they will stand no chance against the enraged humans.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 18th, 2007
Blood & Chocolate is based upon the novel of the same name by Annette Curtis Klause, which was written in 1997 and has since been in the talks of screenplay adaptation. Written by Ehren Kruger (Arlington Road, Scream 3, The Ring) and directed by little known German director Katja von Garnier, Blood & Chocolate looks too impress.
It was refreshing to see a werewolf movie with a much different formula then were used to. Instead of the typical blood soaked horror we are presented with a dark an... somewhat more reasonable storyline. Vivian (Agnes Bruckner) and her family live in America, but when word spreads that they are a family of werewolves, a posse burns down their house and leaves everyone for dead. Vivian escapes and moves to Romania to be with her aunt Astrid and fellow werewolves. What interested me was the fact that these werewolves are proud. They come from a centuries old family of loup-garou’s (their fancy word for werewolves) that can shape shift on thought as opposed to the tiresome uncontrollable full moon fits of rage. They hunt only to survive and only on the full moons, and they avoid any public displays as they know if their identity is compromised they will stand no chance against the enraged humans.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 15th, 2007
The Pang brothers, twins Oxide and Danny, are most well-known for co-directing the hit horror film The Eye back in 2002, and its 2004 sequel, The Eye 2. The Messengers marks their first Hollywood studio effort, and despite it being panned by critics, the brothers have already moved on to more.
The story here is simple. A family buys a house in the middle of nowhere, hoping the move will turn around their fortunes and heal their bonds, which are strained after some big, emotionally traum...tic event. Too bad for them the house is haunted. I could have told them, if they’d only asked. One look at the place and it screams “enter if you dare.” Plus, I had the benefit of seeing the film’s intro, which depicts the horrible, violent deaths of a mother and two children at the hands of some mysterious, unseen force. In the same house.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 8th, 2007
OK. Everyone knows about The Blair Witch Project by now. We’re all impressed that this little independent film managed to bust out and generate enormous success. Every film student in the world is encouraged that a crude looking film can make history. So, can we all stop trying to imitate it now? The Hunt is nothing more than an obvious copy. In this case it’s a trio of deer hunters who are attempting to make a “how to” video on hunting deer with a bow. The film integrates their grainy footage with that of one of t...e members of the rescue operation. He, of course, is also documenting his search for the now missing hunters. Throw in an out of nowhere climax and you have the entire film in a nutshell. The film keeps everything that was annoying about The Blair Witch Project, but retains none of what made it original. It doesn’t take long to get really tired of the shaky grainy camera work that basically gives us nothing remotely suspenseful or entertaining. Before long, Atticus (Rusler), the group’s cameraman, plays the part of a poor man’s Mulder with no Scully for balance. I can’t imagine what is really motivating these two men to continue their romp in the woods with a 10 year old boy in tow. Whatever happens to them we tend to feel they deserve. The final reveal is a complete letdown. Not even the film’s creatures are original. Hell, they’re not even rendered competently.
Video
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 7th, 2007
Synopsis
Five different horror stories play out in this film, though they are all loosely interconnected, in that main characters in one story put in cameos in another, and the same locations are revisited. A sullen teenage girl comes home to her fractious family to see her father struggle with a newfangled remote. It doesn’t change the TV channel, but does zap her through alternate universes. A young man living in a dilapidated building starts taking orders from his possessed radio. A serial killer ...all girl encounters a vampire. And so it goes.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 5th, 2007
Grace (Sophia Bush) and Jim (Zachary Knighton) are your average college students. They love each other and with the arrival of Spring Break, they want nothing more than to spend a week down in Mexico with their friends. Leaving their campus, everything is progressing smoothly until they nearly run over a man who simply wants a ride to the nearest motel. They speed off thinking they obviously shouldn’t pick up any stranger, especially in the pouring rain. Once they arrive at the nearest gas station, they’re shocked to...find out that the same man they didn’t pick up has just arrived at the gas station after receiving a ride. Now comes the fun part. The man asks Jim for a ride and, for some reason, Jim can’t refuse. Enter your midnight psycho who calls himself John Ryder (Sean Bean) who decides to torture these folks and you have yourself a decent remake of the 1986 classic.
As I just mentioned, this film is a remake of the 1986 film of the same name by Rutger Hauer. This film was clever and downright horrifying. You had the similar psycho killer who simply wanted to play a few mind games with our two lead characters. But where the 1986 film had a few twists and actual real horror that felt, well, real, this 2007 remake lacks everything that made the original so good.
