Horror

There’s a bunch of people stuck in a bar in the middle of nowhere. Monsters want to eat them. What will they do? That about sums up Feast, a film that’s part comedy, part horror, and all around over the top. This is the winning project from season three of Project Greenlight, a contest and documentary series founded by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck back in 2000. What does that mean? Feast is a low-budget film helmed by a rookie director, based on an amateur script.

Rookie and amateur are often words associated with low quality, but this gore-fest is actually pretty good. This is obviously a film made by big fans of horror movies, as it embraces many of the conventions and clichés of the genre, sometimes twisting them around or turning them upside down. The result is a decent amount of uncertainty for the audience, which helps suck us into the tense and scary moments.

I don’t watch a lot of horror movies, but when I do I want them to be scary or amusing, or both. I found Blackwater Valley Exorcism to be none of the above.

The story centers around the demonic possession of a young woman, and the efforts a group of people make to save her. This group includes her family, her father’s farmhands, a sheriff, a veterinarian and a priest who’s never dealt with this sort of thing before. Luckily, one of those farmhands just happens to be a former priest who has conducted an exorcism.

One of the nice side effects of the popularity of DVD is that the general public is seeing many films that they would not have seen before. The more people that have DVD players in their homes, the more budget titles hit store shelves. Therefore, people are more apt to pick up a title sight-unseen, and some pretty descent direct-to-video films that would never have made it into theaters have found new life in the home theater market.

Warner Brothers knows a good thing when they see it, so they have created a company that produces horror movies with the specific intention of releasing them in the direct-to-DVD market. The first film in the three-picture package is Rest Stop: Dead Ahead This is the story of Nicole, a young girl that runs away from home with her boyfriend to make it big in Hollywood. On the way, the couple pull over at a rest stop. As it turns out, this is a very bad idea.

Few names are as recognizable as that of Boris Karloff. The gentle English actor who brought us the sweet Christmas tale “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” also brought us some of the most terrifyingly wonderful performances in the history of the business. Cursed with a harsh enough look, Karloff was denied the mainstream success his ability so obviously warranted. He was one of the founders of the Screen Actor’s Guild and was extremely active in charity work throughout his lengthy career. Still, mainstream Hollywoo...’s loss was horrordom’s gain. From his first guttural grunts and hand gestures that brought alive the mute monster in Frankenstein, Karloff exhibited extraordinary brilliance in each performance. Even when forced to take unflattering parts in B productions, Karloff was the consummate professional. He always brought his A game. That dedication took what were originally throwaway parts and molded them like the craftsman he was into magnificent works of art. Here in the Boris Karloff Collection are five of those lesser known parts. No real monsters to speak of; Karloff shines in each film. Certainly these films can be described as diamonds in the rough, but leave it to Boris to teach us that there are no small films, at least not when the credits began with the name Karloff.

“Night Key” Karloff plays an inventor of a wireless alarm system. As often happens with Karloff’s characters, he’s ripped off by his partner who turns his system into a wealthy business for himself cutting Mallory (Karloff) out. But unlike other Karloff characters in this situation, Mallory seeks a non-violent revenge. What Mallory creates, he can also destroy as “Night Key”. Using his own device, Mallory, along with a small time crook, breaks into shops protected by his old partner’s firm, but not to steal. He’s only trying to make a point, until the local head hood comes calling to use the device to line his pockets. Of course, this really isn’t a horror film at all, but Karloff will make it worth your while.

Synopsis

Boy, this haunted technology stuff is getting out of hand. Seems a body can’t touch a single appliance or toy without some evil spirit emerging in smite-mode. In this instance, the problem is a survival-horror video game called Stay Alive, which not only refuses to let you stop playing, after your character dies, you die in the same way. At the root of it all is the Countess Elizabeth Bathory, who has been the subject of many a film already. Unaware of this, our usual batch of charact...rs (the Regular Guy, the Regular Girl, the Goth Chick, Her Annoying Brother and the Nerd) must try to beat the game in real life before it beats them.

After Heather (Agnes Bruckner) sets her parent’s tree on fire out of boredom, she is shipped off to a strange boarding school run by Ms. Traverse (Patricia Clarkson), where the woods surrounding the school seem to be slowly devouring the building itself. There’s also the standard issue legend surrounding the history of the school that involves a coven of witches who murdered the school’s head-mistress years before.

Does any of this result in an interesting film? Let’s take a step back before we delve into ...he quality of The Woods...

Synopsis

Marilyn Burns, Paul Partain, Allen Danziger, Teri McMinn, William Vail and Gunnar Hansen individually may not be that well known. Collectively, many people might confuse them with some group of lawyers or something. But film history has afforded them a higher place in memory past their initial endeavors. You see, back during the middle of a particularly oppressive heat wave in 1973 Texas, this group, directed by a then-fledging auteur in Tobe Hooper, combined to make what is widely regarded as one...of the best films in horror movie fame, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

When I was young there was an armchair in the living room that had its back to the hallway leading to my bedroom. I would frequently sneak down that hall and hide behind the chair. There I could spend hours after my bedtime watching whatever my parents were watching on television. What I saw from my secret vantage point in 1975 was the scariest thing I have ever seen. All my life I have been a horror fan. From the silent classics of Lon Chaney, through the Universal masterpieces of the 30’s and 40’s, all the way to...the slasherfests of modern times, nothing has affected me more than Trilogy of Terror.

Trilogy of Terror was the mastermind of two of the genre’s greatest. From the imagination that brought us Dark Shadows and Kolchak: The Night Stalker we find Dan Curtis at his very best. His partner in Terror is the man who brought us so many Twilight Zones, Richard Matheson. Matheson also created some of the best horror novels of our time. I Am Legend gave us both the Vincent Price “Last Man On Earth” and Charlton Heston’s “The Omega Man”. Will Smith is currently taking a crack at the same story. Here the two teamed up for 3 half-hour tales, all staring Karen Black.

Synopsis

Protestors and loggers are in conflict over the cutting of trees on an isolated island. Unbeknownst to both groups, the logging company has been experimenting with something dangerous, and when this substance gets into the blood of an injured logger, he becomes a flesh-eating zombie, quickly spreading the virus. The son of the chairman of the board flies in to see why contact has been lost, and is quickly caught up in the desperate battle for survival.

Synopsis

The jacket copy says it better than I could: “Museum director Dr. Zita Furneaux (Kylie Wyote), empowered by the Egyptian goddess Nephthys (Andrea Smith), regains her lost youth by dispatching a living Mummy to kidnap sexy young women, from whom she steals their ‘kas’ (spiritual twins), turning them into zombie-like love slaves. Reporter Elyse Lam (Christine Nguyen), investigating the case of the missing women, also falls prey to Zita’s lusts. But when Zita defies Nephthys... you’ll have to s...e this ‘horrotic’ sequel to the cult hit The Mummy’s Kiss