Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on September 2nd, 2006
Synopsis
The jacket copy says it better than I could: “Museum director Dr. Zita Furneaux (Kylie Wyote), empowered by the Egyptian goddess Nephthys (Andrea Smith), regains her lost youth by dispatching a living Mummy to kidnap sexy young women, from whom she steals their ‘kas’ (spiritual twins), turning them into zombie-like love slaves. Reporter Elyse Lam (Christine Nguyen), investigating the case of the missing women, also falls prey to Zita’s lusts. But when Zita defies Nephthys... you’ll have to s...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on August 16th, 2006
Synopsis
Mu-ju is trying to adjust to life again after surviving a terrible accident. Life is still hard, as her eldest daughter suffers from something like autism, and she is having trouble landing a permanent position as a teacher at a music school (plus, a former student has it in for her). The aforementioned eldest daughter becomes obsessed with a cello, and a mute housekeeper moves in, and terrible things begin to happen.
But those terrible things wait far too long to happen. A third o...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on August 14th, 2006
Horror films have transformed over the years. We’ve essentially gone from horror films using religion to frighten (The Exorcist, The Omen) to slashers (just about everything in the 80’s), to nothing (the early 90’s void), to post-modern slashers, (Scream, Urban Legends, I Know What You Did Last Summer) to torture (Hostel, The Hills Have Eyes).
With I”ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer, we take a short trip back into the slasher genre. And surprisingly, it still looks and fe...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 27th, 2006
Synopsis
In 1908, an inbred hillbilly (played by, who else, Newhart’s William Sanderson) had decapitated a family member, and is brought to a spooky asylum. A maniacal intern realizes that the face-like deformity on the man’s back is actually intelligent, and his obsession with cracking the mystery unleashes all sorts of horrors.
On the commentary track, the filmmakers joke the seizure-inducing editing style. They aren’t kidding. The film jumps back and forth between B&W and colour a...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 29th, 2006
Synopsis
Four teens hit the wilderness, looking for a Professor Waterman (celebrated SF/fantasy/horror writer Fritz Leiber in a non-speaking role). The professor is missing, but they find an ancient time that turns out to provide the secrets of life, death, and the demons beyond. Said demons want the book back, and our heroes are attacked by one monster after another.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 24th, 2006
At the end of the day, The Cavern is an old-school monster movie (of sorts) with some really annoying habits. The shaky camera technique can only take one so far. When a filmmaker tries to use it in place of suspense, it grows old very fast. And when this crew of cave divers enter the mysterious crawlspace of the film's title, writer-director Olatunde Osunsanmi goes hog wild with every gimmick angle he can think of. The result of such activity is the remnant of a good horror film, which builds mood nicely with...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 23rd, 2006
Synopsis
Masahiro Motoki plays a well-to-do doctor, very much concerned with class difference, eager to distance himself from slum-dwellers, whom he regards as barely human. He is deeply in love with his fiancée, a woman suffering from amnesia. His life collapses in chaos when his parents are murdered by a prowler, who then throws him down a dry well. This prowler turns out to be his twin, who proceeds to take over his identity.
One hell of a rattling score gets things off to a disturbing s...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 11th, 2006
Synopsis
A group of occultists horsing around with more than they know accidentally open up an evil portal and unleash a terrible force upon the world. Fortunately, there’s an organization of Demon Hunters on the job, determined to send this evil and all if its minions back where they came from.
We’re in sub-sub-sub-Buffy territory here. Like that series, the film has a fair amount of self-deprecating humour. Numerous jokes fall completely flat, but there are still a few that raise a chuckl...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 7th, 2006
Synopsis
Rayne (Kristanna Loken) is a dhamphyr – a human/vampire hybrid. Escaping from the carnival where she is imprisoned as a freak, she sets out on a crusade against vampires, her ultimate target being the lord vampire Kagin (Ben Kingsley, an actor showing Michael Caine’s former penchant to whore himself out without shame), who also happens to be her father. Along the way, she forms an initially uneasy alliance with Michael Madsen, Michelle Rodriguez, and Will Sanderson – members of Brimstone, a ...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 30th, 2006
Synopsis
On their way to a regional competition, a group of cheerleaders have a car accident, and wander into the rural landscape to look for help. They come across an apparently abandoned house. Two escaped convicts also find that house, and take two of the girls hostage, but soon everybody has a bigger problem in the shape of a hulking killer, Andre the Butcher, who has all sorts of supernatural powers as well as plenty of sharp blades.
Any movie that casts Ron Jeremy as a mad slasher has...
