Genre

Mention the name of George A. Romero to anyone even remotely familiar with horror movies, and the first thing they're going to think of is zombies. Why shouldn't they? It was Romero who made what might be the first little film that could. Long before Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity, Romero set out with his trusty 16 mm camera and a crew of pretty much local Pittsburgh friends, to make Night Of The Living Dead. With this film and the ongoing "Dead" franchise, Romero has pretty much written the rule book on zombies. He is no doubt the zombie king. That's the kind of thing you think of when someone mentions George A. Romero. But, there is this small, at least until recently, group of die-hard Romero fans that might have thought of another film. They might, just might, mind you, be thinking of an obscure 1973 film called The Crazies.

It's a typical small American town. Kids are blissfully riding their bikes. It's the opening day of Little League baseball. Everyone is just enjoying their idyllic Norman Rockwell existence. Don't worry. No one is really trying to pull anything over on you here. We know this pleasantry isn't going to last when the first few seconds of the film depict this very town burning to the ground. Our first hint that something isn't quite as American Pie as all that is when town drunk Rory shows up on the kids' baseball diamond packing a 16-gauge. The gory results cause the town to ask some very easy questions, like why did Rory show up totin' that double-barrel? Sherriff Dave (Olyphant) investigates that very question along with his wife who happens to be the town doctor (Mitchell). The answer, it seems, can be found in the town's water supply and a recently-crashed plane. The U.S. Government has accidentally infected the water supply of a small town with the engineered bio-weapon called Trixie. It eventually infects people and becomes airborne instead. The first stage is a little harmless catatonia. The second stage turns its victims into raging maniacs on steroids before killing them 48 hours later. The feds close down the town and try to round up the residents, corralling them into two groups: The ones who have the virus and the ones who don't. But Dave and his pregnant wife don't intend to stick around while martial law reveals sheer brutality in this once picture-postcard town. It's a tough time to be on the run. Doesn't matter who you run into, crazies or soldiers, both are gonna kill ya dead.

“In the 1940’s, a new genre – film noir – emerged from the world of hard-boiled pulp magazines, paperback thrillers, and sensational crime movies. These films, tough and unsentimental, depicted a black-and-white universe at once brutal, erotic, and morally ambiguous.”

And so Sony collects five more of these films as part of what looks like is going to be an ongoing series. But what exactly is film noir? You hear the term used from time to time, but what does it mean?

Nick Twisp (Michael Cera) is a 16-year-old in terminal virgin mode. His home life with his mother and piggish boyfriend (The Hangover's Zach Galifianakis) is a nightmare, but when said boyfriend runs afoul of a trio of sailors, an enforced vacation is mandated. At the trailer park, Nick meets Sheeni (Portia Doubleday), a girl who not only speaks to him but shares his tastes. But Nick has a rival for Sheeni's affection, and in order to win her heart, he must be bad. Conjuring suave alter ego François as his guide, he embarks on an escalating campaign of mayhem designed to unite him with his beloved.

Michael Cera turns in a patented Michael Cera performance: the sensitive, intelligent, shy teen. What could feel too familiar, though, is kept fresh by his hilarious incarnation of François, and the humour depends to no small degree on bouncing off the Cera's established screen persona. And work the humour does. There are great sight gags here, some terrific slapstick, and no end of sharp verbal wordplay. The script is an intelligent delight, and the characterizations are quirky and sharply drawn. I have essentially two reservations: Sheeni is a pretty unsympathetic character, unworthy of Nick's devotion, and the more we see of her, the more his love becomes inexplicable; and there are a number of appealing characters who simply drop through cracks in the plot, never to be seen again. Still, all told, this is one sharp, funny comedy.

Everybody’s favorite Small Wonder is back for another season. Most of you will remember my first season review of Small Wonder. The show wasn’t as great as I remember but if Shout Factory is willing to release a second season on dvd, I’m willing to give the show another try. Let’s see how the Lawsons and Vicki spend the next twenty four episodes of mayhem and laughter.

Vicki (played by Tiffany Brissette) is adapting well to human life. She participates in many chores and even participates in home schooling with Joan (played by Marla Pennington-Rowan). She plays with Jamie (played by Jerry Supiran) and even has learned how to slam the door in the face of Harriet (played by Emily Schulman). If Vicki had feelings, it would be safe to say that she could be described as happy.

Meg Ryan arrives at her country home a day early, catching hubby Timothy Hutton in the middle of writing her a note telling her that he wants out of their marriage. Knocking Hutton out, Ryan duct-tapes him to a chair, and declares that he will remain her prisoner until he loves her again. Hutton is understandably skeptical that this tactic will work. He is also furious and freaked out. He is even less happy the next day when Ryan heads out to do some grocery shopping, and a thief (Justin Long) breaks enters the house.

Fans of Meg Ryan hoping for a romantic comedy will be disappointed. This is a much darker piece of work, and one that defies viewers to like anyone on the screen: Ryan is nut, Hutton is a jerk, his mistress is a dolt, and Long is a thug. Realizing from the start that we are in the realm of the black farce helps, and there is fun to be had in the performances. Still, what with most of the film taking place in a bathroom, there's a bit of a filmed-theater feel to the experience, and the ultimate denouement is obvious to all but the characters, leaving frustrated viewers to wait impatiently for the pennies to drop.

The title is grammatically ambiguous. Is this a film about vampire killers who happen to be lesbians, or killers of lesbian vampires? The former might have given the film some nicely subversive potential, but the latter is the case. Our heroes are the gormless pair of the serially dumped Jimmy (James Corden) and the piggish Fletch (Mathew Horne) – basically Shaun and Ed from Shaun of the Dead, minus the wit. Heading out to a randomly picked village in rural England for a low-budget vacation, the duo happen upon a VW bus filled with women who, based on the available evidence, have just finished a gig as background dancers for a hip-hop video. The group arrives at a decrepit mansion and proceed to party, unaware that the area is cursed by the lesbian vampire queen Carmilla. Seeking to resurrect their matriarch, her minions proceed to vamp all but one of the women, and the stage is set for a supernatural battle of the sexes.

There have been many horror comedies in the wake of Shaun of the Dead's well-deserved success, and while there have been some worthy entries, there have also been plenty of reminders that just calling something a comedy and having characters bug out their eyes and run around screaming doesn't mean the film is funny. And here we have a case in point. The production design is handsome, and echoes the Hammer flicks of yore, but the witless dialogue, clumsy action choreography, and vacant characters will soon have you wishing you were watching an actual Hammer film (or even Carry on Screaming). Then there's the premise. The filmmakers apparently never though it the least bit problematic that they were serving up repeated scenes of women being impaled and decapitated (and then exploding in a splash of white, milky fluid) for laughs. The results would be even more offensive if the viewer weren't numbed by the tedium – the 83 minutes feel twice that long.

A young man, who is struggling as both a Tae Kwan Do tournament contestant and University student on a shaky student visa, is house sitting at a mansion as a favour for the friend that helped him obtain said student visa. While staying there, a mysterious young woman seduces him, and turns his life into a literal hell.

"Responding to the pleas of people who are victimized by distressing and inexplicable activities in their homes and workplaces, these cops bring their no-nonsense approach to hunting ghosts and their real-life police skills to separating fact from fiction - and often happen upon results much scarier than the paranormal."

I've had a lot of opportunities to watch and review many of the new wave of reality shows, from Ice Road Truckers to riding along with Steven Seagal in his real-life police job. This is my first exposure to "unreality" television. Okay, that's my term and not theirs. But, after just 10 minutes of watching Paranormal Cops, unreal is the only word I can think of to describe the experience.

Fans of classic science fiction know very well who Philip Jose Farmer is. Chances are you have read one of his many Riverworld novels going back to the early 1970's. It's absolutely required reading for any fan of the genre. When you think of those classic book series, this one stands right up there with Asimov's Foundation books or Frank Herbert's Dune series. I've only read the first novel, but remember it still. It's an enchanting world that I always meant to return to one day. That day hadn't yet come by the time I received this DVD release of SYFY's latest take on the work. I'm sad to say that even after watching this 3 hour mini-series, that day still hasn't come.

It's not that this is necessarily a bad film. It's actually not bad at all. It's just not very good. More importantly, it's really not much like the Riverworld I recall. The basic idea is actually all that remains from Farmer's works. Riverworld is a planet that contains 20 million miles of river, hence the name. When people die, they are resurrected along the banks of this river system. Here you might find anyone from any time. Time travels in its own fashion here. Two people who die at exactly the same moment might find themselves on Riverworld years apart from each other. It appears to be random. All of this is in the original books. Nothing else from this film is to be found, at least in any recognizable form, in the novels.

Of all of the cop or detective shows I’ve seen over the years, I can relate to this one better than any of them. You see, years ago, I was a detective. I wasn’t a cop and mostly did internal investigations for a large Florida retail chain. While I was a fair detective in most areas, I did eventually develop a specialty of sorts. When other detectives ran into a brick wall interviewing their subjects, they’d often call on me to get whatever information they were trying to extract. No, I didn’t beat it out of them. I was never a physically intimidating guy. I was just good at getting them to talk. I guess I was a little bit of a con artist who was working for the good guys instead of preying on hapless marks. I never lied to a subject and never threatened violence. It was a battle of wits, and I always won. That’s exactly how you would describe Brenda Johnson (Sedgwick) in The Closer. While the series was, in many ways, your standard procedural police drama, each episode would end with Brenda getting some reluctant perp to spill their guts. She relied on southern charm. She looked and sounded harmless enough that she could get the person to lower their guard and fall for one rather simple trick or another. Case closed.

Brenda Johnson was brought to L.A. from Atlanta, where she had a reputation of getting things done. She was brought in to help the department deal with a bad reputation when it came to murders. Chief Will Pope (Simmons) hired her to get the department back on track. She was given the title of Deputy Chief and a team of elite investigators. The Priority Homicide Unit investigated high profile or particularly difficult murder cases. The team included veteran detective Lt. Provenza (Bailey) who wasn’t above bending a few rules to get the bad guy. Lt. Michael Tao (Chan) was the tech-savvy guy in the group. Commander Taylor (Gossett) is often her biggest critic in the team. He believed that he should have gotten her job. Sergeant Gabriel (Reynolds) and Detective Irene Daniels (Ravera) are an on-again off-again item in the office, providing for some extra tension. She’s engaged to FBI Agent Fritz Howard (Tenney) whom she marries at the end of this season. There are some new characters for the 5th season. Mary McDonnell arrives for only three episodes, but it's a big part. She plays the captain of the internal affairs unit. It's a very irritating part. In fact, the last few times I've seen McDonnell she's been annoying. She played a similarly grouchy character on Grey's Anatomy last year. Sosie Bacon is pretty good as Charlie. She's Brenda's troubled teenage niece who has been passed from her parents to her grandparents and now Brenda. She's actually the real-life daughter of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon.