Genre

 

Do you believe that a numbers wizard can predict the most random of human actions with mathematical equations so accurately as to know where and when such a person will be? If so, then I suggest you put down that letter you are writing to Santa, finish eating that egg a bunny left for you, go to your pillow and pull together all of the loot you got from the tooth fairy, and plunk it down on season three of Numb3rs. No, that’s not a typo, apparently they believe that letters aren’t good enough to stand on their own, so they inserted a 3 where the e should be. Aren’t they so clever? Not. In the fairy tale world of Numb3rs, all you need is an almost obsessive knowledge of math and the crooks don’t stand a chance. It’s almost unfair, isn’t it? Those poor criminals go about their carefully plotted crimes, unaware that everything they do is controlled by math. They live their lives oblivious to the fact they are at the mercy of a diabolical equation which forces their every move. In fact, I suspect some clever attorney somewhere is already preparing the “math made me do it” defense at this very moment. Soon our justice system will be forced to account for this undeniable force on our very destinies. I would go on but I can’t… must… fight… numbers

Jim Phelps (Graves) led his team in a fourth season of Mission Impossible starting in 1969. The show continued its trademark traditions. Jim would receive a mission from the “self destructing” tape and would gather his IMF (Impossible Mission Force) team. The team was necessarily eclectic in nature, and it changed significantly in the fourth season. Still in the team we had Barney Collier, the gadget man, played by Greg Morris. The muscle was still supplied by Willy Armitage, played by brute Peter Lupus. Leonard Nimoy joined the team in season four as Paris, who also had a skill for disguise. He was a magician, so his sleight of hand skills came in … well, handy. Together they took on missions that the government could not be officially a part of. They were always admonished that should they be caught “the secretary would disavow any knowledge” of them.  Usually they were sent somewhere to put some evil mastermind out of business. Their tactics ranged from scams to outright theft. Sometimes they were a rescue team, while other times they would infiltrate a group of bad guys. There were certainly cold war elements to the whole thing. Each week the team concocted some convoluted con to play on their mark, walking away at the end of each episode often without getting any credit or congratulations.

 

I can remember when Beauty And The Beast first arrived on television. It was fall of 1987. I watched a couple episodes of this rather odd drama. Instantly I was drawn to the show’s world but was almost as quickly pushed away by the material. If I can be forgiven for saying so, I always considered this a “chick” show. That’s not intended as an insult at all. The truth is there likely isn’t nearly enough programming out there that is targeted for the female audience. This was without a doubt a series that was very much aimed at the young women viewers. They were rewarded with two very solid leads in Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton. The show provided some very interesting sets and locations, most notably the underground world where Vincent and Father lived. The production values were high for the time. The makeup work on Perlman was incredible and full of detail that the actor used expertly. His ability to convey emotions was the key to one of television’s best performances. I also thought that the writing was clever and original. Still, I’m a guy, and the overt romantic arc to the story was too much of a turnoff, and I stopped watching. Now having the chance to see the show again in a complete season release I find my opinion hasn’t changed very much. I might appreciate what it was trying to do more now, but the fact remains that this is a romance story first and a crime drama second.

 

Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed. Poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed. Then one day he was shootin’ at some food and up from the ground comes a bubblin’ crude. Oil that is… Black Gold…Texas Tea…”

Who doesn’t remember the Clampetts, those lovable Beverly Hillbillies? The show has been revived in a film, rap songs, and a Weird Al parody of Dire Straits’ Money For Nothing. Terms like cement pond have lingered in our pop culture. The song was a genuine Billboard hit at the time and is still instantly recognizable some 40 plus years after the show aired.

Brothers and Sisters, we are gathered here today to extol the virtues of our moral champion, Eric Cartman. I’ve come here to praise Eric, not to bury him. It wasn’t much more than 12 years ago to this very day that we first met Eric. Certainly the presentation was a bit crude, and often the teachings were less focused and incoherent. Still, it didn’t take long before we could see an underlying message in the construction paper animation. Before too long the faithful grew, and the wisdom of Eric Cartman could no longer be stopped. Stan, Kyle, even Kenny. They tried to distract us from what we knew was the important message of each episode. Somehow the light managed to shine through. We weren’t watching South Park. We were watching The Eric Cartman Show.

 

I like Mike Myers. I think he’s really talented, and I’ve enjoyed him in films like Wayne’s World, So I Married an Axe Murderer and Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. That’s why I didn’t want to see The Love Guru. Seeing the trailers for this latest Myers project, I had the distinct feeling it was going to be a black mark on his filmography.

What an understatement — 20 minutes into The Love Guru, I wanted to punch Mike Myers in the face.

A group of exotic dancers head off to a resort in the hills, ostensibly to shoot a film, but instead fall into evil clutches. The torture begins for them and that point, but it began for the audience prior to the opening credits. While the monologue that begins the film hints that there might have been an idea buried somewhere in here concerning the abusive objectification of women through history, the film decides to incarnate that idea rather than critique it, and do so very clumsily at that. The makeup effects are beyond risible, and the cinematography consists primarily of headache-inducing shaky close-ups. Another nail in the coffin of the torture porn subgenre.

Audio

 

The CSI phenomenon has been going strong for many years now, and CBS has ridden that wave to become the top network these past couple of years. It all started with the original CSI: Crime Scene Investigator. This Las Vegas show became an instant hit, and three years later we found ourselves in Miami for a spin-off. Two years after basking in the Florida sunshine, Jerry Bruckheimer caught lightning a third time; this time out New York would serve as the setting. While there are ties that bind the three shows to the CSI franchise, each show has a unique style. The cases also serve to distinguish the shows from one another. The leads for the three shows likely give the most character to the series. Gary Sinise as Detective Mac Taylor brings a strength that establishes this show’s credibility from episode one. Taylor is ex-military who lost his wife in the 9/11 attacks. He’s incredibly driven and passionate about bringing down the bad guys, but won’t allow his integrity or that of his lab to be compromised. Also, the New York show differs from the original in that the CSI personnel are full fledged cops and not just lab rats working for them. I find I like this version far better than the Miami setting, even though I can relate more to the Florida locations essentially in my own back yard.

Just to look at it you would think that My 3 Sons was a Disney production. Its star Fred MacMurray had appeared in many Disney films of the 50’s and 60’s and is most likely recognizable from those appearances. Two of the three boys were also known for work with Disney. The eldest boy, Mike, was played by Tim Considine, who starred with MacMurray in Disney’s The Shaggy Dog. Middle son Robbie was played by a former Mickey Mouse Club Mouseketeer, Don Grady. The youngest son, Chip, was played by Stanley Livingston, the only non Disney alum in that group. Another reason for the confusion is the decidedly Disney-like material the series covered. Steve Douglas (MacMurray) was a widowed single parent who was trying to balance his job with that of raising his three sons. Most of the stories involved the warm and fuzzy heartwarming stuff that Disney had pretty much cornered the market on in the films. Whatever troubles arose, no problem was so bad that a heart to heart talk couldn’t fix it. The style would prosper and continue in the form of 70’s shows like The Brady Bunch. The four guys were also joined by Steve’s father-in-law, Bud, played by I Love Lucy favorite William Frawley. That was no surprise since the show was actually produced, not by Disney, but the Desilu studios.

 

The holiday season is coming fast. It should come as no surprise with all of the Chipmunk DVDs being released that a Holiday Collection was going to be included. Of all of the sets, this is the best. There 12 episodes in all, and each is among the best of the classic show. You get three discs, one for each of the upcoming special days: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. There’s plenty of Chipmunk antics and some great song selections included in each disc.