Sci-Fi / Fantasy

“3 billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war Judgment Day. They lived only to face a new nightmare: the war against the machines. The computer which controlled the machines, Skynet, sent two Terminators back through time. Their mission: to destroy the leader of the human resistance, John Connor, my son. The first Terminator was programmed to strike at me in the year 1984, before John was born. It failed. The second was set to strike at John himself when he was still a child. As before, the resistance was able to send a lone warrior, a protector for John. It was just a question of which one of them would reach him first.”

When Arnie told us that he’d be back, he wasn’t kidding. Not only has this film been through three cuts of the film itself, but this is at least the 9th home video release of the movie and the second on the young Blu-ray high definition format. Lionsgate is doing everything it can to squeeze as much out of us as possible. I don’t blame them, really. But, is it too soon to release a second Blu-ray of the same movie? Yes, I think that it is. I might not feel quite so bad about the whole thing if I didn’t suspect that there will be another one within the year. With the theatrical release of Terminator: Salvation and the inevitable home video versions of that film, likely by Christmas, my crystal ball predicts a third T2 Blu-ray by the end of this year or the first quarter of the next.

“Donnie Darko was killed when a jet engine fell from the sky and crushed him while he was sleeping. The government never located the plane from which the engine fell, nor did they even admit the incident ever occurred. But that was just the beginning of the tragedy… and the mystery”

No truer words were ever spoken. First of all, this prologue is about as close to the original Donnie Darko film that this movie ever gets. S. Darko is indeed the beginning of a tragedy. It’s more a disaster than a tragedy, really. It involves a loss of life -- your life. 103 minutes of your life to be exact, unless of course you’re stupid enough to watch the extras as well. That’s not a tragedy. I’d call that a self inflicted wound. The mystery? That’s an easy one. It’s a mystery to me that this film ever got off the ground, let alone released, albeit as a direct to video affair. Donnie Darko wasn’t a great film, but it was an intriguing one that left the audience with some thought provoking images. But there appears to be a fine line between thought provoking and mind numbing. S. Darko is mired in its own abstractness, a serious movie not to be taken seriously at all. In the end, I’m not even sure what the filmmakers were trying to do. I heard them try to explain it, justify it is likely the more accurate term. Still, I can’t help but suspect that whatever it was they were trying to do they failed miserably. And if you end up watching this film it will be you who pays for their shortcomings. Good cinema deserves to be rewarded. Bad cinema deserves simply to be ignored.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. No, I’m not having a Charles Dickens flashback or reliving Star Trek II. I’m talking about the new Trek release The Best Of Star Trek: The Next Generation. It does feature one of the best Trek episodes of any of the shows, the Borg extravaganza The Best Of Both Worlds. In fact this really does contain 4 of the show’s best episodes. The problem is that there are only 4. With the fan collectives already taking up Yesterday’s Enterprise, it’s not that great a bargain for the real Trek fan.

With the original series I see no reason at all to buy into a 4 episode release. This stuff has already appeared countless times in the last 5 years or so. The episodes appeared in double episode discs originally. Then there were the complete seasons. There was the remastered DVD season sets. Finally, the best news yet, the release of these episodes in high definition on Blu-ray. So, why is Paramount releasing these single disc DVD’s now? There’s no question that they picked 4 of the best episodes, and they are the remastered versions.

Animal films have done quite well at the box office in recent years. Who can forget the astounding appeal of March Of The Penguins. With wonderful cinematography and the commanding narration of Morgan Freeman, the film took the box office by storm. There have been countless efforts to reproduce those results ever since. The latest of these to hit Blu-ray is the indoctrination piece, Arctic Tale. I say indoctrination because this movie is never content with following the natural migration or struggles of the animals it depicts. Instead the film uses contrived dangers that were staged, for the most part, to drive home the “undisputed” message that mankind is destroying the frozen habitat that these animals rely on for their existence. Whatever your politics, or opinions on global warming, there is still plenty of evidence to support the opposing position. With that said, it’s a little too early to use children and furry animals to attempt to present the theory as established fact to our children. The film attempts to work on the young folks’ emotions as we witness man induced pain, struggle, and even death on the polar bear and walrus populations. The film is even somewhat femalecentric. The female animals get names. The male animals are referred to merely as “the little brother” or “male polar bear”. It’s a slanted piece of propaganda, that doesn’t even break any new ground. Some of the footage is repeated in the similar release, A Polar Bear Adventure.

There is some remarkable footage here, in addition to the standard stock elements. It’s pretty obvious that many polar bears are photographed as the “family” we are supposed to be following. The work is the result of a husband and wife team who have made it their life’s work to study and capture these animals on film. The work is often good, and some of the footage is truly stunning. It’s a shame they decided to taint their remarkable efforts with so much posturing and bias. Queen Latifah provides the narration. She tries too hard to be sweet and dramatic in a “once upon a time” manner that she fails to truly inspire the way Freeman did with his narration. This approach further illustrates that the target audience here really is our children. There are better animal shows out there, which provide just as wonderful photography without the political spin. Even Animal Planet has provided some very memorable programs in recent years. There are really just too many comparable choices out there; many of them cost you only the cable bill you’re already paying. Let your children get their values and political beliefs from you, not from their movies. During the credits, children tell you how your actions are killing the cute Arctic animals. Just what I’d want my kid to think. “Daddy, why are we killing polar bears with out SUV?”

Sin City arrives in high definition with some pretty high expectations. You get both versions of the movie here, and I have to say that I’m very pleased to see that. By now fans of the movie have seen the recut version of Sin City and likely have your own opinions as to what you thought of it. The fan base appears to be somewhat divided on the effort. For me it’s never been a case of better or worse. It’s merely a case of different. The two versions are very different experiences. Watching the recut version is not really like watching a movie at all. Frank Miller presents them more akin to the original graphic novel experience. For those we don’t already know, this version offers the movie split into four very separate pieces. They each come complete with their own title page and closing credits. You should be warned that these closing credits actually account for more than half the promised 20 minutes of extra footage. They are not even presented in the same order as the original film. Watching the movie this way appears a bit disjointed and leaves many of the movie’s fans feeling like they have been served up their favorite movie in television-like installments. But, there is value to this presentation. It allows you to watch it with a new perspective and a new completeness, albeit within itself. The only segment that just totally doesn’t work is the short The Customer Is Always Right segment, which originally bookended the movie in theaters. On its own it feels rather incomplete and makes very little sense. It’s only after watching the final segment that a newcomer to this material will finally make any connection. There are also many moments where characters appear in the background of one segment leading directly to their own moments. These subtle touches are a bit wasted when one views the parts independently. Of course, there is no escaping the joy of merely watching the original film the way it was presented at the box office. I won’t deny that it is only in that form that the true movie experience can be realized. So what to do with this duality of purpose and divided audience? You give us two complete Blu-ray discs in one release and offer us the choice. That’s exactly what Dimension Films has done for us in this eagerly anticipated high definition release of Frank Miller’s classic Sin City.

For the purposes of this review I spent most of my time in the recut version. I’ve seen the film countless times by now in the theatrical cut and decided to experience my Blu-ray journey with the new version. The audio and video elements are virtually the same, so all aspects of the review remain unchanged. For those new to this incarnation of Sin City, here’s a breakdown of the four segments as they appear on the second disc of this set.

"Space...The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before!"

Star Trek: The Original Series finally makes it to high definition. If you’re anything like me, you’ve been waiting for this day for what seems like centuries. They’re here. One of the best features about this set is the multi-angle option. Remember how we were promised all of this control way back when DVD’s first hit the market? We got the same promises when Blu-ray arrived, and we weren’t going to hold our breath. Hey, I still have a red, yellow, blue, and green button on my Blu-ray remote. What are they ever going to be good for? Anyway, we finally have a use for the angle button. You can use it to toggle between the new digital f/x Paramount recently created for the show, or you can watch the original f/x if you’d rather. With that button you now have the ability to toggle between the two. Through the use of branching technology you can go between them as often as you like and never stop the show. I will warn you, however, that many of these shots occur so quickly that the second delay in transition might not allow you to see the entire segment. It also does not change while the video is in pause. It’s one of the best new features out there and perhaps the best reason to upgrade your recent purchase of season one to the Blu-ray release.

In 1951 Robert Wise made the Earth stand still. The United States, in fact the entire planet, was in the middle of a frightening cold war. If you believed the media at the time, we were standing just moments from nuclear annihilation. We were given images of a crazy man’s itching trigger-finger poised over a button. School kids were led in air raid drills that promised protection from this powerful menace by the wooden tops of your desks. The government and private sectors were engaged in witch hunts to smoke out “commie” sympathizers. The fear touched every aspect of our lives. Hollywood was no exception. We confronted these atomic fears with giant creatures and post apocalyptic humans, all mutated by radiation fallout. But Robert Wise delivered a morality tale that offered something far different. It offered hope.

I avoided this remake at the box office. This time it wasn’t just because I was too busy. I love the Wise classic and have long considered it off limits for a remake. When I heard about this one, it brought cringes. I had flashbacks to Steven Spielberg’s total rape of War Of The Worlds. Suddenly the new story wasn’t about hope or an interplanetary federation. It was a Captain Al Gore fantasyland come true. I stayed away.

“I know I’m too old to love comics as much as I do. But, in comics, the villain can launch a missile at a superhero and the hero just keeps on coming. And then the villain can throw an atomic bomb, or an asteroid, or an entire planet at the hero, but that won’t stop them either, because a real superhero’s like a force of nature and when I read comics I get a faint glimpse of what it would be like to be not just stronger, or faster, or smarter than ordinary people, but what it would be like to be unstoppable”.

Who among us hasn’t felt that way at one time or another in our lives? We all have the desire to feel that in some way we are…Special.

If you can’t see where this thing is going after 10 minutes, check your forehead for lobotomy scars. I strongly suspect that everyone associated with this film, from the writer to the actors to the money people who thought this was a good idea, all have matching scars. The box art claims that someone from Bloody Disgusting calls this the best time travel movie of all time. What?! Either that guy was taking some serious medication at the time, or he was paid off, or his sister worked on the film in some capacity, or he’s actually managed to never see films like: Back To The Future,The Time Machine (both versions), Time After Time, Star Trek IV, Frequency, Somewhere In Time, or Jaws. Okay, so I made the last one up. It’s still a better time travel film than Timecrimes.

I can’t really even offer you much on the plot without destroying what mystery might exist for you, should you decide to ignore my warnings and give the movie a spin for yourself. Suffice it to say that the film thrives on paradox. The acting is simply horrible. There’s a limited cast, but you’d think they could find just three or four actors that could…you know….well….act. It makes some attempt at being a horror film, but even those aspects are quite laughable. And there’s the only chance you have of enjoying this film. Every now and again, I’ve had guys over for what we used to call Schlock – O – Rama. The idea is too laugh our behinds off at the absurdity of what we were watching. You pick up the lamest looking film you can find, and away you go. It’s like your own private Mystery Science Fiction Theater.