Series

Rock ‘n’ Roll High School

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 6th, 2006

Synopsis

Welcome to Vince Lombardi High School, where new principal Mary Woronov (coming on like a cross between Miss Jean Brodie and Ilsa) is determined to stomp the student body into submission. In order to do this, she wants to banish rock music. Her chief antagonist is PJ Soles, a huge fan of the Ramones, and she eventually enlists the band itself to help defeat Woronov and her fascistic hall monitors.

The chaos may reach epically destructive proportions (KABOOOM!), but this is all in g…
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Gallipoli

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 6th, 2006

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Peter Weir’s Gallipoli is a remarkable film. Starring an inexperienced model, who was only intended to be used for a photo shoot to promote the picture and shot on a small budget, this film’s longevity and frequently attained levels of excellence could have never been predicted. That doesn’t mean Gallipoli will be turning up on any all-time best lists any time soon, as the first half has a tendency to drag its feet. However, a solid hour two punctuated by one of the most haunting images I have seen in a…
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Cry_Wolf

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 2nd, 2006

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Synopsis

Julian Morris is the new guy at an exclusive high school. Exclusive, presumably, because all the students look five to ten years too old to be high school students. At any rate, he falls in with the hip crowd, led by ice queen Lindy Booth, and they decide to play a game with the rest of the student body by sending out a hoax e-mail leading all and sundry to believe that a serial killer is loose on campus. But then it begins to appear that there IS a killer, and that he isn’t too happy about …
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Exorcism of Emily Rose, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 1st, 2006

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Synopsis

After an unsuccessful exorcism ends with the death of its subject (Jennifer Carpenter in the title role), priest Tom Wilkinson is charged with negligent homicide. The prosecutor is a devout Christian (Campbell Scott). Wilkinson’s lawyer is the agnostic Laura Linney. As the court battle progresses, we witness Carpenter’s story in flashback, with her possession beginning while she’s away from home in college. Linney, at first dismissive of Wilkinson’s claims, gradually finds her peace of mind …
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Dark Water

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 31st, 2005

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Synopsis

Jennifer Connelly is going through a messy divorce with Dougray Scott. They are feuding over the custody of their daughter. Trying to piece her life together, Connelly rents an apartment in a down-at-the-heels building on Roosevelt Island in New York City. A leak develops in her ceiling that keeps getting worse. Her daughter develops an imaginary friend. The supernatural events gather force, apparently determined to drive her out of her mind.

In the extras, the filmmakers make much…
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Muppet Christmas Carol, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 29th, 2005

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Director Brian Henson continues a family tradition with father Jim’s creations, The Muppets. He also carries on another tradition, this time in the form of the long-told tale “A Christmas Carol” by legendary author Charles Dickens. The combination goes so well together I can hardly understand why it wasn’t done sooner, as in by Jim himself before his untimely death. Michael Caine does an extraordinary job, as usual, in the role of Ebenezer Scrooge, a hopeless miser, who receives visits from three very different ghost…
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Wedding Crashers

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 29th, 2005

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John(Owen Wilson) and Jeremy(Vince Vaughn) are divorce mediators faced with the daily struggle of attempting to reconcile fractured partners for long enough to enable them to reach some kind of settlement. But let’s not worry about that too much because it’s nearly wedding season, a time when their entire agenda shifts focus. Why? Because John and Jeremy are wedding crashers. We’re not talking about anything half-hearted either. These two are professional wedding crashers. They have rules, game-plans, and even fake f…
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Beyond the Mat

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 26th, 2005

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Synopsis

Despite the upside of pro wrestling-being on worldwide TV and having people from ages 6 to 60 buy a shirt with your face on it, and cheer (or boo) you in the ring until they become hoarse, there is still a downside. A wrestler can be on the road for 250 days out of the year. The pay is comfortable, but there is the risk of injury, or worse, addictions to drugs to overcome the pain you can suffer from while on the road. And unlike John Q. Businessman, a lot of the wrestlers out there either don’t ha…
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Rumble Fish

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 26th, 2005

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Synopsis

There was a period in Francis Ford Coppola’s (The Godfather, Apocalypse Now) life where he went through a bit of a phase, where he was making films based on relatively obscure material. And he went through another smaller phase in the early ‘80s where he was making films from source material of author S.E. Hinton (The Outsiders). And Rumble Fish was one of those.

Based on Hinton’s novel, the film details the life in a small town, with a tough neighborhood kid n…
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Four Brothers

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 26th, 2005

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Four Brothers starts off as a solid drama about a group of orphans (Marky Mark, Tyrese Gibson, Andre Benjamin, and Garrett Hedlund) who were raised by a sympathetic woman (Fionnula Flanigan) in downtown Detroit. When she is murdered, the brothers reunite and stay in their mother’s old house. They sit at the dinner table and stare at her now empty seat. They horse around with one another in her living room. And in some cases they even wear her old clothes. In scenes like these, the actors do a good job of makin…
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Big Bad Mama

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 23rd, 2005

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Synopsis

Angie Dickinson is a single mother of two teenage girls (whom the film very explicitly characterizes as “ripe” – boy howdy, they don’t make movies like this anymore). Money is tight during the Depression, and after a fiasco of an interrupted wedding, mother and brood hit the road to seek their fortune, and before you know it, they’re robbing banks.

A low budget, tongue-in-cheek variation on Bonnie and Clyde (minus Clyde), this is a nicely produced bit of period sleaze. The d…
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Death Race 2000

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 22nd, 2005

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Synopsis

In the year 2000, the United States (and much of the rest of the world, it seems) is under the dictatorial rule of Mr. President, and the masses are kept passive with the Transcontinental road race, where the competitors must not only race from the remains of New York to the remains of LA in record time, but kill as many pedestrians as possible. Chief rivals are fan favourite Frankenstein (David Carradine) and the villainous Machine Gun Joe Viterbo (Sylvester Stallone).

You know yo…
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Dukes of Hazzard, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 21st, 2005

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Where does Dukes of Hazzard fall on the spectrum of TV show adaptations? Somewhere in the middle, which came as a surprise. I expected a stupid flick with no entertainment value, but I got a stupid flick with more than a few glimmers of amusement. The film’s plot borders on irrelevant, but I’ll recap it anyway. The flick focuses on the adventures of cousins Bo (Seann William Scott) and Luke (Johnny Knoxville) Duke. They deliver moonshine for their Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson), and Bo also succeeds as a local ra…
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Ran

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 18th, 2005

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Synopsis

Thankfully, as part of Criterion’s desire to be completists of the Akira Kurosawa collection, they have finally decided to release Ran on DVD. For the sake of time, I’ll include my thoughts of the film based on my review of the Kurosawa boxed set, which included a previous version of Ran:

In Kurosawa’s last outstanding film (inspired by “King Lear”), the aging Lord Hidetora Inchimonji decides to split his power equally among his three sons Taro, Jiro and Saburo. Saburo ques…
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Kagemusha

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 18th, 2005

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Synopsis

In Akira Kurosawa’s later years, it was almost criminal that a director with his resume was forced to practically beg for financing. Kurosawa was in the midst of a career drought, having made only two movies in almost 15 years with Dersu Uzala and Dodesukaden. This coming after a run of films that has proved influential to even today’s filmmakers. While Kurosawa did have to obtain foreign financing for his movies in later years, Francis Ford Coppola and George Lucas, both of whom cite…
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Frighteners, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 17th, 2005

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Peter Jackson is a true visionary. In most circles, such a statement is agreed upon if the subject is the Lord of the Rings trilogy, or his brand new King Kong remake. There are also those who’d rather remember him for his schlocky, disgusting, and dangerously enjoyable efforts Braindead and Bad Taste. Of course, either camp will love his work. It’s just a matter of preference as to which type of film they love more. I’d say most find his latest efforts to be superior to those low budget e…
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Pickpocket

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 17th, 2005

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Pickpocket is precisely the kind of film that could never have been made in Hollywood in the 50’s. The Hays Code was a set of morality guidelines that dictated what was and was not acceptable to be shown in motion pictures. Amongst many other things, the code would not allow a criminal to be depicted on screen in such a way as to induce sympathy from the audience. It also said that criminals must always be punished for their actions. (For a complete copy of the code, visit http://www.artsreformation.com/a…
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Polar Express, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 15th, 2005

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Written by Clayton Self

The Polar Express is a milestone in digital film making. Making use of “performance capture” (little attachments connected to the body to mimic human movement) and green screens, Robert Zemeckis (Back to the Future) has created a stunning visual world that is sure to find its way into homes of millions to be enjoyed during the Holiday season. Labeled by some as creepy because of the not quite real, yet not quite fake digital characters, The Polar Express is nothing more than an epic Christmas a…
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McLintock!

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 11th, 2005

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Synopsis

G.W. McLintock (John Wayne, True Grit, Rooster Cogburn) made most of his money by being a cattle baron. He made so much money in fact, the film’s fictional town was named after him. How cool is that? But all is not milk and honey in McLintock’s life. He has an estranged wife who does not live with him (Quiet Man co star Maureen O’Hara), and now wants a divorce.

Those hostilities are put aside when their daughter Becky (Stefanie Powers, Hart to Hart) returns hom…
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Stargate

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 11th, 2005

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Stargate is something of a cult phenomenon among sci-fi buffs. It is so popular, in fact, that it produced not one, but three spin-off TV shows. It is amazing that the big business of the Stargate franchise started with a quirky little film. Now there are some big fans of this movie that will surely have strong words of disagreement for me, but this is really not a very good film. The premise alone is enough to make most moviegoers roll their eyes.
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Truman Show, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 10th, 2005

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Every now and then, a film comes along that I really think is something special, but for whatever reason, the movie-going public doesn’t agree. For me, The Truman Show is one of those films. Maybe it was because this was Jim Carrey’s first serious role. Maybe it was because it felt too gimmicky with the popularity of The Real World at the time, and being released around the same time as the similarly-themed film EdTV. Maybe it was because the premise was just a little too far outside of the norma…
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King Kong

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 9th, 2005

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Synopsis

We all know the story, even if we haven’t seen the film. Risk-taking (and potentially criminally irresponsible) documentary maker Carl Denham (Robert Armstrong) charters a ship and sets off for an uncharted island. On board are first mate Jack Driscoll (Bruce Cabot) and Ann Darrow (Fay Wray), the woman Denham has tapped for the lead in his film. They arrive at Skull Island, and before long, Ann is kidnapped and offered as a sacrifice to Kong. The giant ape falls for Ann, and a romantic trian…
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Stealth

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 8th, 2005

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Sometime during the 1990’s, big-budget blockbusters stopped getting by on special effects alone. Even though Independence Day, Godzilla, and Armageddon showed us that ground-breaking special effects don’t translate into quality films, Hollywood kept making them — and people kept spending their hard-earned money to see them.

Stealth is the newest movie in that mold. Heavy on great visuals and special effects, it fails to deliver any character development, emotion or common sense, result…
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Legends of the Fall

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 7th, 2005

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Written by Clayton Self

Legends of the Fall is one of those movies that sets its own standards for greatness and actually achieves them. That is very rare in cinema. Legends has a great Director, Edward Zwick, who brought the recent hit The Last Samurai. The performances are amazing, and the cinematography superb. This is a movie that has aged very well since its release in December of 1994. So, here we are eleven years later, with a movie that still captures the heart.

Legends of the Fall follows …
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Batman Begins

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 7th, 2005

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Written by Clayton Self

Batman Begins is a brand new and WAY cooler take on the Dark Knight franchise than anything we’ve seen before. Most importantly, this is NOT a prequel to any of the previous four Batman films. This is a fresh start for the franchise, and it gets done the way it should have been done in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, Burton made two very dark and original films, but let’s face it; Batman Returns sent children bawling out of the theatre, and left parents with a sour taste in their mouth. That mo…
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