Series

Terminally naive and beautiful Noelle Page (Marie-France Pisier) is abused and conned by every man she meets. In 1939 Paris, penniless and at the end of her tether, she meets American pilot Larry Douglas (John Beck, looking more like a 70s porn star than a 40s air force pilot). A great romance begins, but then duty calls him away. He promises to find her again in three weeks, but he never shows up. Noelle discovers that she is pregnant, and then finds out Larry is a terminal womanizer. She aborts herself with a wire hanger, and then, feeling she has nothing left to lose, slaughters all the young Jedi... I mean, she sleeps her way to movie stardom, hooks up with a Greek tycoon, obsessively tracks Larry’s life, including his marriage to PR executive Catherine Alexander (Susan Sarandon), and plots a dastardly revenge, a reigniting of the romance, and a murder. Busy girl!

As you might have inferred from the above, Noelle’s transformation from abused and abandoned waif to Queen of Darkness is no more convincing than a recent whiny brat’s transmogrification into the Lord of the Sith. In point of fact, NOTHING in this three-hour soap opera is the least bit convincing (right down to careless framing that permits a skyscraper completed in 1972 to be visible over Nazi-occupied Paris). But then, anyone expecting great art to be made from a Sidney Sheldon novel needs to see a therapist, and quickly. What we have here is trash of the absolutely highest order, and hence the four-star rating. Excessive, grotesque and unfailingly hilarious in a way only the 70s could produce, this is the cinematic equivalent of chowing down on a huge bowl of 100% deep fried, trans-fat munchies. Terrible for you, but delicious. And who can fail to love that title. What in the name of all that is holy does it MEAN?

49th Parallel is a film that I had heard mentioned in passing on occasion, but never really had any practical knowledge of until now. Having now seen the film for myself, I find it to be one of those rare productions that only Criterion seems to be able to find. This is something that I would have never dreamed existed. While the idea of war films told from the Axis point of view are almost commonplace today, such a thing was practically unheard of in 1941, with the United States on the brink of entering World...War II themselves.

This is just part of what is notable about this film however. The truth is, the film stands on its own merit in any time frame. This is an epic feat of filmmaking that would qualify as a big budget project even today. The film follows the crew of a German U-boat as they make their way into Canadian waters. When they sink a Canadian tanker ship, the crew becomes the target of a massive manhunt. In an effort to evade capture, the crew take to land and move from hideout to hideout, eventually making their way to the United States.

If you want another reason to hate George Lucas, it's that James Bond film producer Albert Broccoli decided to fast track the production of Moonraker ahead of For Your Eyes Only to capitalize on the proverbial Star Wars effect that was occurring through box offices worldwide. However in this one, written by Christopher Wood, who wrote the epic film Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins and directed by Lewis Gilbert (who had just done The Spy Who Loved Me), Roger Moore rides a shuttle into space and takes the dynamic of the film with it.

In this Bond film, Moore's 4th and the franchise's 11th, James tries to find out who is terrorizing the planet using a soon to be astronaut vehicle called the space shuttle and a space station to do it. So James gets a chance to test out the means of NASA, but not before going through the spacious locales of Rio de Janiero and France, eluding the harm and capture of Jaws (Richard Kiel, Billy Madison), who reprised his role from The Spy Who Loved Me due to popular demand. The villain in this film is Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale, Munich), who may be soft-spoken, but his plans to mass murder the population are far from rational.

Poor Roger Moore. He does get a bit of a bum rap when it comes to James Bond movies, but I think that in terms of the character, he actually fits the jacket, Walther PPK and shaken martinis fairly well, but the problem for his work was that it faced a lot of new technology, and thus was subjected to a lot of ridicule as a result. New things like walking in space and the computer revolution were given a tongue in cheek look, and in between this and the visual effects simply not catching up to the imaginations, then sure, some of the films look and feel a bit silly.

Take the case of A View to a Kill. The film was Moore's seventh (and last) as Bond, and he already had one foot out the door when he made Octopussy. But in this one, Moore may have stuck around a little too long. By my math, he was approaching 60 at the time the film was released to theaters, and seeing him with a Bond girl like Stacey Sutton (Tanya Roberts, Sheena) really wasn't all that believable anymore. The story itself surrounded a microchip that was purchased by a fanatic named Max Zorin (Christopher Walken, The Deer Hunter), who apparently was genetically enhanced somehow or was a descendant of a elite German during World War II.

As a relatively topical fan of the James Bond franchise (though not so topical that I'd buy all of the films on DVD), I had a cursory knowledge of the actors who played Bond and the times that they had been cast. Little did I know however that by the time Roger Moore had signed onto the role in Live and Let Die that this was the third attempt to bring him aboard, and that maybe producers Harry Saltzman and Albert Broccoli were hoping that the third attempt brought the proverbial charm. Moore had been approached for the role as early as the Dr. No days, but was in the midst of doing The Saint television show, and Connery was chosen. Connery left and the opportunity came to Moore again, however he was not available and George Lazenby came on to do On Her Majesty's Secret Service. He left, Connery did one more and then finally, Moore was available to take the reigns.

And he came aboard to a Bond film that is probably his best and one of the best Bond films in the franchise. In Live and Let Die, James has to go to America (and subsequently, the Caribbean) to research the deaths of several British agents. He goes into Harlem to try and find out the whereabouts and criminal motivations of a mysterious boss named Mr. Big, and eventually makes his way to a fictional island called San Monique, where a United Nations delegate named Kananga (Yaphet Kotto, Homicide: Life on the Street) is waiting for his arrival, and using the results from a tarot card reader named Solitaire (a very young Jane Seymour, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman), he plans for the demise of Bond.

Posted in Disc Reviews by Joshua Noyes

Two guys who were used to drinking beer for fun suddenly become fierce competitors in the “Beer Drinking Olympics” in Germany. Todd Wolfhouse (Erik Stolhanske) and his brother Jan (Paul Soter) are from a German-American family but have never visited the Old Country until their grandfather dies and they fly to Germany to scatter his ashes. Todd and Jan arrive during the annual Oktoberfest celebration and accidentally discover a secret competition, "Beerfest," in which the world's leading beer guzzlers determine who ca... handle the most brew during several days of heated drinking games. Todd and Jan are no lightweights when it comes to downing brew and offer to compete, but the German branch of the family, the Von Wolfhausens, hesitate at their desire to enter the contest and inform them no mere Americans stand a chance winning the Beerfest honors. Determined to prove Americans can drink beer with the best of them, Todd and Jan bring their drinking buddies to Germany to defend America;s honor and prove to their German relatives that they too can drink as well as anybody.

If you've seen any of Terry Gilliam's other films, you can probably guess that this one is pretty bizarre. Based on the novel of the same name by Mitch Cullen, Tideland is an eccentric, grotesque and imaginative tale of a child's resilience.

I'm going to say right off the top, I wanted to like Tideland, and for two reasons. One, Gilliam has made some incredible films in his career, from Monty Python and the Holy Grail to Twelve Monkeys and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Other than the flawed Brothers Grimm, it's been seven years since a Gilliam-helmed film was released. So I wanted to like this one. I really did. Unfortunately, while I admired the creativity in Tideland, and was at times intrigued and repulsed, I ultimately found the film extremely unsatisfying.

Comments on the supplemental material on this edition have been ported over from Brendan Surpless' excellent (and recent) review of the Blu-Ray disc, which also can be enjoyed on this site.

Now onto the review...

An epic is defined as an artistic work that celebrates the feats of a legendary figure. The film Cleopatra actually deals with many such figures, the title character being merely one of them. The truth is the film was never really about the Egyptian queen as much as it was about Rome and its relationship with Egypt.. Of course, Elizabeth Taylor's portrayal has achieved something of a classic status that is not completely deserved. Much has been made of the Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor pairing in this film. Certainly both delivered entertaining and even at times compelling performances. However, these efforts pale in comparison to the brilliance of Rex Harrison as Julius Caesar and Roddy McDowall as Octavian. Others like Martin Landau add considerable weight to often underused characters. It is doubtful much would have been made of this film at all, let alone Burton and Taylor's overrated contributions, without such help. Taylor in particular makes more use of her looks than any thespian grandeur here. Elaborate and frequent costume changes are designed to take full advantage of her more obvious attributes. She does appear a stark contrast to the unusual woman most notable in recent years for her staunch loyalty to Michael Jackson. The enormously grand cinematography also plays no small role in the film's ultimate success. This release is intended to pay homage to the Academy Awards taken by this film, which included statues for cinematography and visual effects.

Cleopatra runs over four hours and can be broken down into four distinct parts. Hour one is clearly a setup for things to come. Julius Caesar (Harrison) is close to a glorious victory over his rival Pompey Magnus in a Roman civil war. His quarry has fled to Egypt, where Caesar is in pursuit. Upon his arrival Pompey's head is presented by the boy king Ptolemy. Caesar inserts himself into Egypt's civil war in favor of the King's exiled sister, Cleopatra (Taylor). Upon his fathering a son with the Nile Queen, the hour ends with her safely back upon her throne.

Marisa Tomei caused quite a stir in 1993 when she walked away with the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role in My Cousin Vinny. Even after watching the film again, I guess I'm still a bit amazed. Now that's not to say she doesn't do a wonderful job here. The fact is the entire cast did a splendid job. I can't say I found her performance any better than Joe Pesci as Vinny "Sack Of Potatoes" Gambini or the wonderful portrayal of the judge by Fred Gwynne. While it's not my intention to open up an old can of worms, it is that award which brings us to the re-issue DVD of My Cousin Vinny. To help celebrate this next round of Academy Awards and to line the old pockets with a little more gold dust, Fox is releasing some films that have taken those statues in the past. Unfortunately Fox did not see fit to add anything or even shine the print up in any way. This disc is identical to the 2000 release in every way. The video and audio transfers are exactly the same as is the commentary and small list of extras.

The story is nothing more than an elaborate setup for Pesci to do his thing. Billy, played by the old Karate Kid Ralph Macchio, is driving through backwoods Alabama with his buddy Stan (Whitfield). They accidentally steal a can of tuna from a small store. When the cops chase them down and cart them off to jail, they consider the threats of execution a bit harsh for shoplifting. That is, until they discover the clerk was killed shortly after they left, and now they're charged with his murder. Short on cash, they call in Billy's cousin Vinny who has finally after 6 years passed the New York Bar Exam. Vinny's in over his head, and his New York Italian attitude doesn't earn him any points with the down home justice ideology of Judge Haller. Desperately outclassed, Vinny must resort to street smarts to save the boys. The case turns on the testimony of automobile expert girlfriend Lisa (Tomei). The truth is, there are several rolling in the aisles funny moments here. Stan's seen too many prison films, so when he first meets Vinny he fears the man is there to have his way with him. In a play on words conversation that would make Abbott and Costello proud, this 20 second joke plays out for a few minutes of gut busting hilarity. Pesci's interplay with Gwynne is also classic, and while always predictable, it is nonetheless very funny.