Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 28th, 2006
Synopsis
Will Patton is the owner of the Black Pelican, a road house where he will tolerate no nonsense, and particularly no drug dealing. This doesn’t please local slimeball Jake Busey, and when Patton refuses to sell, Busey (through dirty fighting, of course) beats Patton to within an inch of his life. Patton’s nephew is Johnathon Schaech, undercover DEA agent, and he arrives in the boondocks to take over the bar and set things straight.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 27th, 2006
Not being a big fan of Black Hawk Down, I can't really tell you how many releases of the feature this makes from Sony. I know it's a title, which has seen at least two prior offerings. There is nothing new here to recommend the extended cut over the previous three-disc monster edition; however, it may be the way to go if you've yet to add this Ridley Scott war film to your collection. I'll be the first to admit that Scott does some of his finest work as director in this gritty combat picture; but his style is ...lso the reason why I feel Black Hawk Down fails to deliver, and pack the same emotional punch of a Saving Private Ryan or We Were Soldiers. Most of the young stars involved in this film, and in the grisly fighting, stay masked under a thick layer of dirt and grime throughout the 152-minute running time. While that contributes largely to the chaotic and confusing authenticity during battle scenes, it hinders the audience from getting attached to any of the characters.
I know character development needn't be sacrificed on the altar of battle realism; yet that's exactly what happens in Black Hawk Down. It's the kind of film, which needs Mark Bowden's book on which it was based to fill in the gaps left by the dramatization. The contemporary war efforts mentioned above are proof this sacrifice is an unnecessary one. Still, as disorienting as the film is, you can tell Scott is a seasoned director, who knows his way around a camera. And who knows? Perhaps his style creates some of the most realistic battle scenes known to film. And if this is all he wanted to accomplish, then Scott's film succeeds. But I can't imagine a director actively indifferent towards how his audience feels about the characters. And if this assumption rings true in Scott's case, then he can't look back on Black Hawk Down pleased with how it all turned out.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 18th, 2006
New from Sony Home Entertainment comes the complete series of Jim Henson's The Storyteller starring Mr. Elephant Man himself, John Hurt, and a slew of eye-popping creations from Jim Henson's Creature Shop. The series focuses on classic folk tales, fables, and legends, including "Fearnot," "The Heartless Giant," "The Three Ravens," and six other wonderful family-friendly tales on one disc. Also provided as part of the set is an additional disc entitled Greek Myths, which provides even more Henson-esque entertainment with the following four tales: "Daedalus and Icarus," "Orpheus and Eurydice," "Perseus and the Gorgon," and "Theseus and the Minotaur." There are thirteen episodes in all. Henson's typical production efficiency is present in each episode. His craftsmen always make the most of their miniscule budgets, and their work offers a refreshing break from these days of CGI-heavy effects.
What's so great about this series is its willingness to incorporate a myriad of cultural folk tales, many of which may be foreign to first-time viewers. Taking its selection from Greece, Russia, and Germany, the series never reached its full potential on account of the short run. However, it manages to educate and entertain children of all ages, and endures as a fine piece of family programming despite its brevity. Hurt is fabulous as usual, really sinking his teeth into the narrator role and telling each tale with an enthusiastic punch in his voice. Brian Henson also does a fine job voicing The Storyteller's cynically fearful dog. While effects may have advanced much since 1988, Creature Shop create a lovable character in the talking mutt, which is sure to enthrall younger viewers. Thankfully, these two characters are able to relate to that crowd without talking down to them. One last thing: watch for a minion of fine actors in early roles, including Gabrielle Anwar, Miranda Richardson, Joely Richardson, Alison Doody, and Jonathan Pryce.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 15th, 2006
Tommy Lee Jones makes his directorial debut with The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, a new take on the western genre. Set in modern times, this is a unique revenge picture with a more positive message than most. Jones also stars as Pete Perkins, an old cowboy, who embodies all the classic western ideals. Estrada (Julio Cesar Cedillo) is his Spanish-speaking friend and ranch hand, who falls victim to an unfortunate shooting at the barrel of trigger-happy border patrolman Mike Norton (Barry Pepper). After a...failed attempt at cover-up, spearheaded by crooked police officer Belmont - a masterful portrayal by country music star Dwight Yoakam - Estrada's body finds itself in Perkins' possession, and a journey for a proper burial begins. But Perkins isn't going back to Mexico alone. He kidnaps Norton and forces the man into the role of Estrada. Jones does a great job of walking that line between insanity and friendship, nowhere more apparent than the scene, where he proudly boasts of his triumph to slow his old friend's decomposition. (I'll never look at antifreeze the same way again.)
Shot from Guillermo Arriaga's literary script, Jones' interpretation of time and place is stunning. The film begins in a strange place and jumps around with great frequency. Pete and Estrada's relationship contains not a word of English. One minute, the title character is alive. The next, he's dead. Then, he's alive again. It would have been too easy for the film to crumble under its own structural weight, if not for Jones' seamless direction, which keeps the film's nomadic tendencies surprisingly clear. By excluding English (and subtitles) from the scenes with Pete and Estrada, the audience realizes just how special the young immigrant was to Perkins. Their relationship was something exclusive, and it seems as if it was the closest Pete ever came to loving another human being. Unfortunately, there will probably be a few snickers if I don't clarify; but for the record, it's a non-sexual love. It's friendship, plain and simple. And the fact the audience doesn't even get to invade that bond tells all the more what Estrada meant to Perkins.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 7th, 2006
Larry Hagman and Barbara Eden return for more hokiness in the complete second season of I Dream of Jeannie, which features 31 not-so-fantastic episodes with the most juvenile humor and situations. I suppose the possibilities for fun are there, but none are fully realized, perhaps because censors just wouldn't let the series be all it could be. For goodness sake, they wouldn't even allow the display of the lovely Eden's belly button in her mid-riff outfit. Leave it to censors to find sex in the most ludicrous o... places. It makes one wonder what kinds of weird kinkiness goes on behind their closed doors, but that's an avenue I don't care to travel. Truth is: the show is completely harmless, and as with Bewitched, its harmlessness is to its detriment. Fans of the series, however, will have a great time with about 15 hours of Jeannie. And if it's bad entertainment such as this you like, at least there's the lovely Eden's belly button-less frame to make the experience more enjoyable.
The second season begins with the anniversary of Jeannie's discovery at the hands of good-hearted astronaut Tony Nelson. The first episode comes complete with a villain (the Blue Djinn), who was actually responsible for Jeannie's imprisonment. It's an episode that cries out for the main plot of the inevitable movie version of this decrepit-on-ideas series. But it's no more interesting than the other 30 episodes included here. Other highlights for fans of the series: "How to Be a Genie in 10 Lessons," in which Jeannie is forced to torment her aloof master in an effort to "be like other genies." There is the two-part "The Girl Who Never Had a Birthday," in which Captain Nelson and his sometimes rival Roger seek to find out Jeannie's birthday before she wills herself into nothingness. Last and just as least, there is "My Incredible Shrinking Master," which is just like it sounds. In a nutshell, if you've seen one episode, you've seen them all.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 6th, 2006
There is no shortage of vampire stories out there. There’s certainly no shortage of kick butt chicks dressed as sparsely as possible running around in depressed future populated worlds. Underworld, without a doubt, does the combination better than anyone. Ultraviolet makes a grand attempt that really ends up being more of a ride than anything else. Now, I can usually follow the most convoluted storylines, but this one gave me some trouble. It seems that while trying to create a super soldier (where is Mulder and Scully when you need them) the government made a big oops and created something akin to a vampire. Those infected with HGV, (I wonder what connection they’re going for there?), possess extraordinary strength. They also develop light sensitivity and a thirst for blood. After realizing these new hybrid beings weren’t going to quite fit in socially, the plan was to round them up and kill them all. That was the plan, anyway, before the likes of Violet. As part of an underground hemophage movement to survive the genocide, Violet finds herself having to protect a child whose blood might contain a cure or a plague. The inevitable chase through a futuristic city serves more to show off some expensive CG f/x than really further any plot.
Ultraviolet makes the fatal flaw of trying to serve too many purposes. There’s nothing wrong with a thrill ride with plenty of eye candy. Still, Ultraviolet is trying to make too many statements. The obvious HIV inferences, combined with the concentration camp mentality of the totalitarian future, overwhelm us most of the time. Another problem is the f/x are often too slick. More often than not the film just doesn’t appear believable. Now I don’t mean “That’s just not possible” unbelievable. I mean, the picture just doesn’t look real. This is what happens when color correction becomes manic. Everything is so smooth and shiny it looks as though it might as well all have been CG. The action is also almost comical. We’re talking Kill Bill on the believability gauge. She just takes on hundreds of enemies at a time. Before long you’re thinking, Who cares? She’s indestructible. Don’t get me wrong, I rather enjoyed it at times. It’s an over-ambitious thrill ride and nothing more. The problem is, it obviously wants to be so much more than that.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 29th, 2006
It’s awfully hard for me to imagine why this abysmally failed sitcom is getting a DVD release when there are so many more deserving shows still waiting. The Ellen Show was populated with some of the most cardboard cutout characters I’ve ever seen. What you talkin’ about Willis? Here’s what I’m talking about. The dialogue is simply rattled off one-liners. Jokes so forced they could get past the famous 1985 Bears defensive line like it was merely a speed bump. Not even the usually ingenious work of Martin Mull could save this show. The series lasted a scant 18 weeks which was honestly 17 more than it had any right to. It’s filled with enough politically correct claptrap to fodder an entire season of South Park mockery. It doesn’t help that Ellen DeGenerate, oops, I mean DeGeneres is simply irritating on the ears and brain. This was truly the most painful viewing experience I’ve had in 5 years of writing these reviews. Stay away! You have been warned.
Video
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 28th, 2006
I never saw the appeal of Charlie's Angels, but in all truthfulness, I never gave it a shot. While I still can't include myself in the loyal throng of followers, I now respect the kind of show it actually was. The series centers on the unseen Charlie, and his three beautiful lady detectives, who can hold their own both physically and mentally. There is a serious danger with a series such as this to cross over into exploitation, or extreme campiness. From what can be seen in this complete third season DVD relea...e, the series mostly stays on the tasteful side of the line. With titles such as "Pom Pom Angels" and "Angels in the Stretch," the uninitiated may be rolling their eyes at what awaits. However, the series can sometimes surprise you, even if you would rather skip past it in the channel surfing shuffle. Of course, there are some throwaways included... most notably, the season finale, which is that most hated of all episodes, the dreaded "clip show." It's especially unwanted in this DVD package, which gives you all the moments from season three you could ever want, without resorting to the cheapness of a highlight reel. But alas, here it is, taking up valuable disc space.
But to make up for this inclusion, you get my pick for best episode in the set: "Rosemary, For Remembrance." It's a sentimental mystery that recalls the rough-and-tumble days of Prohibition, as an ex-mobster gets out of prison and becomes the target of an unseen killer. In the process, he meets Kris (Cheryl Ladd), who reminds him of his beloved wife, who died on a night so long ago, and has haunted his dreams ever since. Did the mobster kill his wife? Is it guilt? Or did he truly love her? And is someone else responsible? It's a situation the writers have a lot of fun with, and you will, too. And as for Cheryl Ladd, she does a fine job of filling Farrah Fawcett's shoes; in fact, I found her more attractive, a better actress, and possessing of a "girl next door" sensibility that Fawcett never came close to capturing in her run on the show. Still, if you prefer Farrah to Ladd, you won't be disappointed by this set either, as she makes frequent guest spots, along with familiar faces such as Dean Martin, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Scatman Crothers. Twenty four episodes - over 1000 minutes - of Charlie's Angels action is included.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 24th, 2006
The irreverant, politically incorrect Married With Children returns to DVD, this time in its fifth season, and I first want to say, "It's about time." How long has it been? I've lost count. All I know is, I better not have to wait this long again. Al, Peg, Kelly, and Bud, return to torment the newly divorced Marcy Rhoades and any other poor sap, who gets in their way. In contrast, life dishes out enough misery to the Bundys to keep us all happy for a very long time. It's a funny dynamic, which the show plays t... the extreme... Bundys hate life, and life hates Bundys. I could watch the two struggle all day (with the Bundys always... well, nearly always... coming out on bottom), and never get tired of it. In this particular collection, we get more of the tragedy and the triumph with some of the greatest episodes heaped atop each other, one after another.
Follow a disgraced Al Bundy as he steps into the role of softball hero and gives one of the most stirring speeches of the series in "Unnatural" (Highlight: "In closing, I just want to say, 'I hate you all... and I thank only me for this accomplishment.") Join Kelly as she moves in to her first apartment and kindles Al and Peg's love in "One Down, Two to Go." Tia Carrere also finds out how painful it can be to cross a Bundy in "Kelly Bounces Back." And Al must face the demons of his football past in the classic "All Night Security Dude." We also get the first appearance of Weenie Tots and Jefferson D'Arcy. With 25 episodes of Bundy classics, being miserable has never been this fun.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 24th, 2006
The sad thing about building a strong acting career is one usually has to take on roles better forgotten to get to the pinnacle of success. I'm sure Johnny Depp still has the occasional nightmare of being associated with Private Resort (on an artistic level anyway); and he is about to be reminded of this forgotten-with-good-reason teen sex comedy as Sony debuts it in the digital format just in time for summer. The release Sony offers bills Depp as the main star, and while his role is substantial, the film is m...re of a vehicle for Rob Morrow, and a paycheck for Hector Elizondo. You even get to see a pre-"Diceman" Andrew Clay playing his typical Brooklyn street tough self. I will say this: next time you feel the need to attack abysmal teen sex comedies of today, take this as Exhibit A that these foul, odorous wastes of celluloid are actually getting better... even at their worst.
Private Resort takes place in Florida during Spring Break. There are enough misunderstandings and ambiguous hijinx to fuel an entire season of Three's Company, but none are as well executed in the environment of this film. Depp and Morrow are "two sex-starved teens" spending their spring break at a posh Florida resort, where there is but one order of business... getting laid. Unfortunately (for them and us), they must contend with a ruthless jewel thief (Elizondo), an eccentric barber, a villainous security guard, and a stereotypically obnoxious jock before that can happen. Will they or won't they? It doesn't matter. I guarantee you it will not be a concern as this 82-minute crap fest drones on. Follow Depp's career post-superstardom. This work from his early days has nothing to offer in comparison.
