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ThinkFilm / Velocity

Deadly Little Secrets

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 22nd, 2004

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Deadly Little Secrets has a secret. Shhhhhh. It’s a direct to DVD feature. So the only way you can see it is by renting it. Should you? I dunno. It’s a B movie with a B movie plot, but with pretty good technical components.

The plot starts off with a murder, and the brother (of course) has to get to the bottom of it. Craig Sheffer plays the brother, and he’s bland in a beefcake main character sort of way. There’s a really bad doctor (Dylan Walsh) who is injecting football players with letha…
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Pendulum

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 22nd, 2004

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What do a string of prostitute murders, lesbian vigilantes, a sexually confused cop, a senate race, a prominent prosecutor turned law professor, and a law school dropout have in common? After watching Pendulum you will be asking the same questions. Seldom have I seen a more disjointed collection of clichés and bad acting in one film outside of an Ed Wood film festival. Rachel Hunter might have been a gorgeous supermodel but like so many before her she’s just not believable here. Many of the aforementioned sins might …
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Brotherhood III, The – Young Demons

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 19th, 2004

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The biggest compliment that I can pay to this film is that I have seen worse. The acting is bad, but not painful. The plot is sub-par, but not entirely horrible. The dialog is forced, but not filled with bad teenage slang. Yes, this is a horrible film, but I have seen worse.

Truth be told, The Brotherhood III is more like an excruciatingly long short film. The main emotion that I felt as I moved through this disc was… boredom. Huge segments of the film are simply without dialog or action of any kind….
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Circuit 2, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004

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If you were one of the few of people who were waiting with bated breath for a sequel to the low-budget laugher, The Circuit, well thank your lucky stars because the day has finally come. If you sense sarcasm, you are right, because The Circuit 2 is even more of a stink-fest than the original, which is a feat in and of its self.

When we last left Dirk Longstreet (Olivier Gruner), he was recovering from infiltrating an underground fighting circuit to save his brother who had become wrapped up i…
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Frightening, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004

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The Frightening, as the DVD cover says, is “a new class of horror”. This play on words foreshadows the premise of the movie. There’s a “new kid” at Hallows End High School. His name is Corey (Matt Twining), and he’s having a few problems “adjusting”. Corey has a “past”. But that’s not the “real” problem of this school. Okay…I’ll stop using quotation marks. The major problem at Hallows End High School, nicknamed “Halloween High” (sorry…I couldn’t stop), is that the corpses are piling up. Someone…or som…
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Little Red

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004

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Film

Ah, Baltimore. The Inner Harbor, Camden Yards, Preakness, corrupt government officials, devastating crime rate, as well as a nasty STD epidemic to boot. You gotta love my hometown. But what Baltimore has in negative traits, it makes up for it with creativity. If you have caught HBO’s The Corner or The Wire, you see that Baltimore’s issues can make for captivating television. While Little Red isn’t on the level of these excellent shows, it does have a certain level of amateur charm …
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Circuit, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004

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Film

Remember the B-Movie kick-fests of the late 1980’s and early 1990’s? You know… the ones where plot and acting come in a distant second to the well staged fight scenes? The Circuit tries to harken back to the genre of that time, but ultimately falls flat on its face like a punch drunk boxer.

Dirk Longstreet (Olivier Gruner) is the former champion of an illegal underground fighting circuit. He has tried to put those days behind him by becoming an athletics instructor at a college…
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Sand

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 13th, 2004

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Synopsis

Michael Vartan plays Tyler Briggs, a man who separates from his redneck family in order to leave the past behind him and start a new life for himself. Following the passing of his mother, his father tries to re-establish contact with him and tracks him to his new home, a secluded beach town where he spent time as a child. Accompanying his father are his law breaking brothers who continue their lawless ways after Tyler decides not to return to their ways. They assault his girlfriend and bruta…
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Tully

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 12th, 2004

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Film

While walking in a junkyard, a character says, “This place has a lot of treasures.” That statement could also be used to describe one of the many powerful scenes that are treasures in this film. Not that this film is anything close to a junkyard. Nominated for a few Independent Spirit Awards in major categories, Tully is a moving film that uses several wonderfully understated performances to tell its story about a troubled family.

On a Nebraska farm, patriarch Tully Coates, Sr. (Bob B…
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Miner’s Massacre

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 11th, 2004

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A miner from the Gold Rush days of ’49 comes back to life to terrorize a group of youngsters. Sound familiar? Yeah… vaguely sounds like that Scooby Doo episode with the Miner 49er. Alas… I’m not talking about Rooby Roo himself. The movie is Miner’s Massacre. And I would advise eating a whole pouch of Scooby snacks before watching this abomination.

Indeed, the movie is about an old miner that comes back to life to haunt whoever takes his “gold”. Of course, there is a gaggle of young kids re…
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Rapid Exchange

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 9th, 2004

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Synopsis

After a museum heist goes awry, Lorenzo Lamas works off his debt to Lance Henriksen bysigning on as part of a team for an even bigger job: stealing $250 million from a 747 in mid-flight. We follow the team of expert thieves prepare for heist, and then the big event goes down.But Lamas doesn’t trust everybody he’s working with, and he is right not to.

Remember the heist that kick-starts the action in Cliffhanger? That’s pretty muchwhat you have here, only now that job…
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Dark Waters

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 9th, 2004

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Synopsis

An ocean floor lab is attacked by intelligent sharks. Subsequently, sleazy oceanographer con-artist Lorenzo Lamas and partner-in-crime Simmone Jade MacKinnon (she of the extremelyshaky American accent) are forcefully recruited by the man Lamas blames for the death of hisfather. They are forced to take Lamas’ private sub down to the lab. Everything goes wrong, andin the wake of another shark attack, the survivors are picked up by a US sub commanded by alunatic. The sub is the headqu…
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Tempted

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 9th, 2004

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I’ve found a new crime genre: New Orleans noir. I’ve seen a few of these in the past month. The films seem to be about the flawed people of Louisiana (the Pelican State, by the way) and center around steamy murders and love affairs. All made with a certain bayou charm. Tempted is another movie that fits this pattern. It has all the makings of a guilty pleasure.

Tempted stars, Stroker Ace himself, Burt Reynolds as a well known New Orleans business magnate who hires a young stud employee (…
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Deep Shock

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 8th, 2004

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Synopsis

A rift has opened in the ocean floor beneath the Acrtic ice cap, melting the ice andthreatening to flood much of the world. (Never mind that this wouldn’t happen: this is a moviewhere we see ice sink, just like in Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea.) The solution,ordered by some sort of world government cabal of the G8 at the “United Nations CommandCenter” (riiiiight) is to nuke the rift. Somehow, this will make everything all better. It turns out,however, that the rift …
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Cold Vengeance

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 8th, 2004

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Jimmy Coy is some kind of freelance operative, specializing in explosives and enforcement,for organized crime. He is ashamed of his line of work, however, and wants out. He and his twobuddies are hired but a sneering, Snidely Whiplash villain to torch an arena full of spectators.Jimmy refuses to cause any casualities, but our villain won’t take no for an answer. Meanwhile,Jimmy falls in love with Cassandra, the stepdaughter of one of the head thugs. Cassandra is hersister’s skating coach, which means that w…
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Vampire Clan

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 8th, 2004

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Vampire Clan is supposedly based on a true story. The film revolves around the actions of a teenage Vampire cult in a small American town. The clan gets involved in murder and mayhem, and the movie is supposed to be all the more chilling because it’s based on real life events. Not necessarily, it still has to be scary.

Drew Fuller plays Rod, the Manson like leader of this Vampire clan. Fuller has some natural charm, but isn’t diabolic enough. Kelly Kruger is the teenage runaway Heather, and she als…
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Angels Don’t Sleep Here

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 8th, 2004

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Angels Don’t Sleep Here is the stuff of crime melodrama: long forgotten murders, revenge, twin brothers, and corrupt public officials. It’s a mild foray into the genre. The film knows the notes but not the music; but the actors, or the instruments, (if we continue the music metaphor) really save the day.

Dana Ashbrook (from Twin Peaks) plays a forensic specialist who returns to an unnamed city to start poking around about his long lost twin brother. The trail leads to a DA (Kelly Rutherford)…
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Maximum Velocity

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 6th, 2004

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Synopsis

Michael Ironside, in his patented bastard role, is pulling the strings on a secret militaryexperiment in weather control. The test goes wrong, killing the wife of Dale Midkiff and ruiningthe career of pilot Gregor Toerzs. Four years later, an asteroid grazes Earth’s atmosphere, andtriggers a superstorm. If this hurricane isn’t shut down in a matter of hours, it will go critical andrage for centuries. Hauled back in to save the day are Midkiff and Toerzs, now flying a souped-up 747 …
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Crazy as Hell

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 6th, 2004

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Synopsis

Michael Beach plays Ty Adams, a psychiatrist whose ego and belief in his methods is hardlyshaken by the deaths, after unsuccessful treatment, of his wife and daughter. He arrives at anmental hospital (whose name you should watch for as it blinks past) headed up by a skepticalRonny Cox. Beach will be filmed 24/7 for the purposes of a documentary as he treats a groupof patients over a few weeks. A particular challenge arrives in the person of Eriq La Salle,who claims to be Satan hims…
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Lush

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 5th, 2004

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Warning: Do not be taken in by the cover of this DVD. With iron gates, murky lighting, and a creepy stone angel, Lush has the appearance of a gothic horror film. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Lush is one of those quirky crime dramas. You know the ones I mean…eccentric characters, a unique soundtrack, off kilter comedy scenes, and a murder plot. The Coen Brothers have made an art out of this kind of film. Lush tries really hard to make inroads into the genre.

The story …
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