Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on August 3rd, 2006
Synopsis
Well, Mark Dancer’s review of Season Two of Bridezillas pretty much echoes my general thoughts on the show. Now, for those of you who haven’t read his review, go there. Come back, and see what I do with it.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 22nd, 2006
The women on this show are easily the most selfish, self-centered, hateful, wretched wenches that I have ever seen. The fact that they would voluntarily put themselves on this show proves it. Who would ever watch this show (whose sole purpose is to show how horrible a person can be) and think to themselves, “I would really like to be on that show. I want the whole world to see me acting that way.”
Even so, here they are. The second season (!) of this show features eight episodes and eight brides-to-be at thei... absolute worst. It's all here, from flower problems to cake difficulties to the simple fact that somebody isn't paying the bride enough attention 24-hours a day. I can't imagine why anyone would voluntarily purchase this title on DVD. The women here are absolutely horrible people, and it's generally my practice to steer clear of people who act in this way. However, if you are the kind of person that enjoys seeing people make asses out of themselves, then maybe you will enjoy watching this show. I most certainly did not.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 28th, 2006
Synopsis
The ironically named Julian Noble (Pierce Brosnan) is a hitman whose lifestyle of promiscuous sex, exotic locales and contract killings is catching up with him. As he approaches meltdown, he runs into Danny Wright (Greg Kinnear), a businessman who has had a long run of bad luck. The two strike up a friendship in Mexico city, and toward the end of their stay there, something happens. Six months later, Noble, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, turns uup on Wright’s doorstep.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 1st, 2006
Follow Doogal and friends as they try to save their lush green world from the clutches of the evil jack-in-the-box Zeebad (Jon Stewart) in this CGI family film that completely misses the mark. Though G-Rated - and obviously of inferior intellect - the film tries to be witty and smart with a ton of stale pop culture references its target audience will not come close to grasping. Sure, the adults will get them, but once they do, the question becomes, what do we do with them? Another "Can't Touch This" MC Hammer referen...e? "Wax-on, wax-off" - Karate Kid anyone? "My name is Neo" - did we need another reference to a trilogy where only one of the films was even remotely worth watching? This tripe is the kind of family fare that makes adults cringe in their boots at the thought of having to sit even 77 torturous minutes with these bloated celebrities trying to be funny under the guise of silly looking animals that aren't even that cute.
If I had to find a strong point, I would say Judi Dench's narration is about all the film has going for it. Back to the bad - Kevin Smith's moose character hardly says anything throughout the course of the film, but he does offer up the number of expected fart jokes with his overenthusiastic gastro-intestinal behavior. While Doogal, the long-haired puppy dog intent on saving his master Florence (Kylie Monogue) from the ice block prison created by Zeebad, is a cute little creation, the child star providing his vocals completely ruins any endearing qualities by the mere movement of his lips. This film is truly abysmal. I can't imagine anyone liking it for two reasons: 1) It tries to outsmart its target audience. 2) It does so by antiquated pop culture references, which will completely turn off the only demographic it has left to please. Avoid at all costs.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 11th, 2006
Synopsis
Felicity Huffman plays Bree, formerly Stanley, who, after years of therapy, surgery and hormone replacement, is one week away from undergoing the operation that will finally and definitively make her a woman. Out of the blue, a phone call comes revealing that Stanley fathered a son seventeen years ago. Bree’s therapist won’t let the surgery go ahead until Bree comes to terms with her past and her responsibilities. She travels to New York City to bail out Toby (Kevin Zegers), a street hustler... but keeps the true nature of their relationship a secret as they begin a cross-country journey back to LA.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 28th, 2006
Synopsis
Red (as in Riding Hood) visits Granny, only to find the Wolf in disguise. Granny bursts out of the closet, and then the Woodsman crashes through the window, axe upraised. We then cut to the police investigation of this scene, as a frog investigator interviews each of the players in turn. The forest has been terrorized by the Goodie Bandit, who has been stealing recipes, and one of these characters might be the guilty party. What follows is a series of tales in the vein of Rashomon, wh...re we gradually come to understand what is really going on.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 25th, 2006
Synopsis
Judi Dench is the Mrs. Henderson of the title. Newly widowed in 1937, she decides to put her considerable fortune into owning a theatre. She buys a dilapidated building, has it redone, and hires Bob Hoskins to run it. He is just as headstrong as she is, but their memorable clashes work out to the benefit of their musical revue. When the box office begins to flag, Dench suggests having naked women on stage. A phenomenon is born, one that will not close even during the worst of the Blitz.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 12th, 2006
Synopsis
Three friends are driving across Australia. In a particularly desolate national park, their car mysteriously dies, and they accept help from a passing bushman. Big mistake. The bushman (John Jarrat) is a psycho of the first order.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 28th, 2006
Synopsis
Clive Owen is a man approaching the end of his tether. His marriage is becoming stagnant, his job at an advertising firm is no better, and he is worried about his daughter, who has type 1 diabetes. He and his wife have set aside a lot of money to pay for an experimental drug for her. One day, on a train, he meets Jennifer Aniston. A friendship is sparked, and then an affair begins, only to be violently disrupted by Vincent Cassel. He brutalizes both, and begins to blackmail Owen for ever-inc...easing sums of money.
