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“Are you retarded or something?” is the line that stands out the most for me from Pauly Shore’s latest exercise in idiocy: Natural Born Komics. The idea that anyone on this planet thinks this is remotely funny is in itself extremely scary. The show first emerged on Showtime about a year or so ago and took a long time to find its way to DVD release. It should have taken longer, much longer. Pauly Shore’s act is so manically bad that it takes less than 2 minutes into the film before it has gotten old. The so-called film is really just a collection of bad sketches mixed with some unimaginatively unfunny stand-up. Of course the audience shots depict mostly busty young women, laughing their pants off at Shore’s dull delivery and rather tasteless humor. I suspect there were a couple of tanks of nitrous pumping some happy gas into the venue. It’s the only logical explanation I can find. The skits range from spoofs of Punk’d and Cheaters to “hidden camera” gags that make absolutely no sense at all. There’s even a shameless takeoff on Pacino and Scarface that leaves me wanting to introduce Shore to a couple of my “little friends”. Even the multitude of extras that fill Shore’s “woman in the street” segments look more annoyed than anything else at the antics he’s pulling. Like a little kid aimlessly playing with new toys, Shore acts out with absolutely no direction or focus for the entire blissfully short running time of the film. I’m far from a prude, but Pauly Shore engages in crudeness simply for crudeness’ sake and carries on as if there’s actually an inside joke going on that he’s decided to keep from the audience so that before long at all you really won’t care. He spends far more time bragging about his drug use than actually being funny. Sad!

 

I now realize that the funniest funny is found in awkwardness. This is why Curb Your Enthusiasm is so popular. The main characters do things that make you cringe, often to the point where you even cover your eyes because it’s just too painful to watch. You say aloud to yourself, “Oh my god, no he didn’t just get a boner while hugging that old woman,” or “why are you talking to the TiVo guy when your wife might die?!” But with all due respect to the people that hate Larry’s character (Larry David) because he’s so rude and does stupid stuff, he often gets the short stick and apologizes when he shouldn’t have to.

If the unscripted show didn’t already shoot from the hip, the sixth season of Curb adds new potential for cringe-worthy activities. This 10-episode season introduces the Blacks (including Vivica A. Fox), an African-American family displaced by Hurricane Katrina Edna who altruistic Cheryl (Cheryl Hines) wanted to take in while the family’s house was being rebuilt. I was surprised by the few issues that actually sprung up with the new additions.

If Matt Stone and Trey Parker have learned anything in their long run with South Park, it’s how to squeeze a buck out of the show’s DVD releases. Imaginationland is a 3 part episode from the show’s 11th and most recent season. There’s no doubt that the full season will eventually be out in DVD at some point. But, you see, that could be months away, and we just can’t have that. So in typical South Park epic form, the three episodes are edited together to bring us a “full length South Park movie”.

Let’s make the point right from the start, that South Park, this is not. Lil’ Bush Resident Of The United States is simply a group of liberals who have nothing better to do with their time then bash the President. On the surface there are actually some rather humorous elements, and I must admit to finding the idea a little clever. Think Muppet Babies and the Bush Administration. I enjoy satire quite a bit, and when it’s dead on it can be not only entertaining but effective. Here all we really get is a cartoon about these politicians presented in nothing but a negative light. They go through each episode engaging in one nonsensical farce after another, so that you’re left asking yourself one simple question: Just how many times is the same joke going to be funny?  Not only is W just an idiot, but his brother Jeb is presented as far worse. I have lived in Florida for 20 years, and I can tell you there was nothing “idiotic” about the way Jeb handled hurricanes, once 4 in 35 days,  and other crises that he encountered as our governor here. Cheney is presented as a Satanist who revels in his evil ways. Lil Condi wants nothing more than for W to fall in love with her, and Lil Rummy is a war-mongering bully. W loves his hot dogs and leads the group in a rock band where the motto is “rock and awe”. There are moments this stuff actually gets funny, but too often when it’s simply mean-spirited. I’ll admit they do take some swipes at the other side, but it always comes across as far more playful. In short, if you’re a Bush hater, this stuff will be solid gold. If you’re more balanced and levelheaded, this stuff is funny for a time but gets old real fast.

 

I'm not sure what we will consider the fall of man. Perhaps it will be dangerous emissions into the air; perhaps it will be what happens when we don't recycle enough. It could just be when I don't win a freaking Nobel Peace Prize for my work in the field of gaming and dvd collecting. But perhaps the true fall of man will actually be rested upon the shoulders of one man and that man is Jerry Springer. For years, his brash trailer trash tv show has done more to destroy mankind than the rubber chicken (trust me, you just don't know). Within the last few years, Jerry has had to take his shtick elsewhere. In college campuses, in shopping malls, on PPV. Yes Pay Per View. This first volume of Jerry explores the first three Pay Per View specials and wow. That is simply all I can say.

If you never seen Jerry Springer, let me sum it up in a couple of sentences. There are people that belong (or are in) a trailer park who sleep with their spouse's best friend, mother, daughter, dog, cow, it really doesn't matter. Then they get on Jerry, talk about it, and have fights that are broken up by security over it. This theme will continue for most of the show until Jerry has his little moment at the end where he will speak about what we have learned today (Yeah, don't live in a trailer park and don't date strippers, we got it!). In other episodes, he'll have some hot women get on and do things that our momma never told us about nor will our girlfriend ever think about doing to us or with us. So it continues.

Athena here. That’s right, I’m the 12 year old Siberian Husky that kind of runs things here at Gino’s house. Since I did such a great job doing the review on Snow Dogs, I decided to step in when I saw Gino watching yet another dog film. This time it was Walt Disney’s classic 101 Dalmatians. Naturally the film would have been better if it had been called 101 Huskies, but unfortunately the film was based on a popular children’s book by Dodie Smith who happened to have Dalmatians herself, so let’s not blame her; she didn’t know any better. Walt Disney himself discovered the story and took a personal interest in having it made into an animated film.

 

Tyler Perry has created an empire. Stand-up tours… movie studio… and now he’s thrown his hat into television with the sitcom, House of Payne, on TBS. One can’t deny Perry’s power in Hollywood. His movies are constantly at the top of the box office and his stand-up tours are always sold out.

So can Perry make it in what is perhaps the hardest medium to succeed? The sitcom?

Guy Pierce fascinates me. He first broke on the scene in a big way in LA Confidential, which just happens to be one of my favorite films. Instead of taking the path of his co-star Russell Crow and chasing the big Hollywood dollar, however, Pierce chose to explore smaller, more interesting fringe films. Sometimes, this decision pays off for him, as was the case in the amazing Memento, or the recent The Proposition. Other times, however, the gamble falls flat, as was the case with The Hard Word. Pierce is consistently excellent, but the films he picks are hit and miss. That's the problem with interesting projects, they either turn into surprise hits, or predictable failures. So the big question is, is First Snow a hit or a miss?

First let's talk about the plot. Guy Pierce plays a salesman whose car breaks down in a remote part of the country, and while he is waiting for repairs, he visits a traveling fortune teller to pass the time. What starts out as a lark turns into a profound experience that alters the course of his life forever. The fortune teller informs him that his life will be over at the first snowfall of the season, and he slowly begins to believe him.

There was a new Cowboy in Dallas, and he wasn’t throwing touchdown passes. But Walker was almost gone before he could really get started. After just four episodes, the show’s production company suffered financial collapse and the show was rescued at the last minute by CBS Productions, who would continue to run the show for its nearly decade-long run. For nine years Norris brought us the ultimate Texas Ranger in a formula cops and robbers show. The show often became a parody of itself, but maintained a solid viewer ship throughout. Hell, Norris even sings the theme song. Truthfully, what started as a one man show (it was originally called Chuck Norris Is Walker, Texas Ranger) had become a good working ensemble that probably kept the train going for so long. Walker (Norris) is a tough guy Texas Ranger. He is partnered with Sydney Cooke (Peebles) and Jimmy Trivetti (Gilyard) who’s an ex-jock with a brain. Walker had a love interest and eventual wife in the local assistant district attorney Alex Cahill (later Walker) Together they fight the evils that come to the high plains of Texas armed with their fists, six-shooters, and Stetsons. After starting with the final season, CBS is finally halfway through the series back from the beginning.

There is a discrepancy in the season numbers that I should explain here. Most episode guides will refer to this collection of episodes as the fifth season. The first season of Walker was really only 3 episodes long, running in April and May of 1993. CBS included those episodes along with the complete “second” season run in a release they called The Complete First Season. While I applaud their inclusion in that set, the release more appropriately should have been entitled The Complete First and Second Seasons. What that did in reality is put their release numbers one behind, so that the second season DVDs are in reality season three, and so on. There are 27 episodes in this collection, so it is quite a value no matter what number it might be. You just need to be aware if you are consulting an episode guide and looking for a specific episode.

Family Ties is likely remembered most as the series that launched the career of Michael J. Fox. There’s no question that he owes a great debt to Alex Keaton. It’s almost a bit awkward now to watch him as this young, extremely conservative teenager after Fox has spent so much of his life as a liberal poster boy in the last couple of elections. Politics aside, it’s hard not to credit his performances in Family Ties and the Back To The Future films for launching him into a well deserved lucrative career. The Michael J. Fox issue, however, might hide some of the other assets the show had going for it in its time. For one of the first times parents were portrayed as humanly flawed, and families were not the perfectly functional institutions most of these shows described. Up until Family Ties, these households were either perfect little examples of American ideal or they were so dysfunctional that they could hardly be considered families at all. This show obviously went for a bit of realism.