1.78:1 Widescreen

It is concert time folks and I got another good from the folks at Eagle Rock Entertainment. Hope my audience today likes the Eighties rock and roll because we got a doozie of a band tonight. They are The Pretenders famous for such songs as Message of Love and Back on the Chain Gang. Like many bands of their time, they are formed from the heart of England but they have fully embraced the American way. But without further adieu, let's go to the Wiltern Theatre in Los Angeles. Maybe they can “Bring out the Biker” in all of us (once I figure out what that means).

The Pretenders were formed in 1978 out of Hereford, England. The original lineup consisted of Chrissie Hynde as lead singer and on rhythm guitar, James Honeyman-Scott on lead guitar, Pete Farndon on bass and Martin Chambers on drums. They were named after the Platter's song The Great Pretender and would go on to release their first album (self-titled) in the beginning of 1980. It would eventually reach platinum but take over two years to do so.

“I am in the oldest profession in the world.”

Ray (Thomas Jane) is a middle-aged divorcee knocked to his knees by the recession. His home is fire-damaged, he lives in a tent in his backyard, the school he works for as a coach keeps slashing his department’s funding and threatening layoffs, he’s still in love with his neurotic ex-wife, Jessica (Anne Heche) and is struggling as a single father to raise social-misfit teen twins, Damon (Charlie Saxton) and Darby (Sianoa Smit-McPhee). In Season One, he met Tanya (Jane Adams) and she convinced him to use his natural gifts (read well-endowed penis) as a male prostitute with her and her sociopathic frenemy, Lenore (Rebecca Creskoff) as his pimps. Together they would be “Happiness Consultants”, bringing joy to lonely, middle-aged women around Detroit.

The CSI phenomenon has been going strong for many years now, and CBS has ridden that wave to become the top network these past couple of years. It all started with the original CSI: Crime Scene Investigator. This Las Vegas show became an instant hit, and three years later we found ourselves in Miami for a spin-off. Two years after basking in the Florida sunshine, Jerry Bruckheimer caught lightning a third time; this time out New York would serve as the setting. While there are ties that bind the three shows to the CSI franchise, each show has a unique style. The cases also serve to distinguish the shows from one another. The leads for the three shows likely give the most character to the series. Gary Sinise as Detective Mac Taylor brings a strength that establishes this show’s credibility from episode one. Taylor is ex-military who lost his wife in the 9/11 attacks. He’s incredibly driven and passionate about bringing down the bad guys, but won’t allow his integrity or that of his lab to be compromised. Also, the New York show differs from the original in that the CSI personnel are full fledged cops and not just lab rats working for them. I find I like this version far better than the Miami setting, even though I can relate more to the Florida locations essentially in my own back yard.

The show does share some of the qualities that have become traditional essentials for the CSI franchise. Each opens with a song from The Who. I was bummed to hear that the original selection for New York was Behind Blue Eyes, one of my favorite Townsend compositions. It would have been a far better selection. New York has the same narrative style, which usually allows for an “A” crime and a “B” crime. The mandatory lab montages are intact, as are the CGI recreations of some of the internal body demonstrations. The show, like the others, focuses on the CSI team. Gone this season is Detective Stella Bonasara (Kanakaredes). In her place Sela Ward joins the cast as former FBI Agent Jo Danville. She specializes in the mental aspects of the crime. She's the team's answer to a behavior science unit and works closely with Mac. Detective Danny Messer (Giovinazzo) is all New York from the accent to his habits. He’s the kind of tough no nonsense New Yorker from an ethnic Italian hood who, you get a sense, could have just as easily gone the other way in the world of real-life cops and robbers. He's married to Detective Lindsay Monroe (Belknap), often called Montana, a country girl adjusting to the big city. Messer often looks after her like a sister, and these two have developed another of the show’s good character chemistries together. Now they have a kid and the relationship has taken another step in its evolution. Dr. Hawkes (Harper) started the series as the medical examiner, but now works as a CSI detective. Dr. Sid Hammerback (Joy) took over the medical examiner duties when Hawkes left. He's a thorough doctor who is always looking that one step farther than usual and often discovers what another medical examiner might have missed. Detective Don Flack (Cahill) is the beat detective that most often works with the team.

The series follows the CSI model set forth in the original Vegas version of the franchise. The lead CSI here is Horatio Caine played by former NYPD Blue actor David Caruso. Caruso left that series because he fancied himself better as a big movie star. Several failed leading roles later he finds himself back playing virtually the same character here. It’s the same Caruso odd speaking pattern, only this time he has a lab coat to go with that gun. Adam Rodriguez plays Caine’s favorite among his lab partners, Delko. He shares a bit of history with Delko. They’ve had a few off the reservation missions together and have bonded somewhat. Delko wants to be just like Caine. Next in the pecking order is Ryan Wolfe, played by Jonathan Togo. Togo is the Greek tragedy character here. It seems that every year this guy is getting the worst of it, from losing his hearing to getting roughed up by the Russian mob. He was a cop and transferred over to the CSI unit in season 2 under Caine’s wing. Emily Procter plays Calleigh. She’s the ballistics expert and all around tough girl with a disarming southern accent. She makes a living by being underestimated. By far the most annoying character is Eva La Rue’s Natalia. Her love lives and former life baggage turn her more often than not into the helpless whimpering damsel in distress. She’s by far the most frustrating character in the entire franchise. If I have to hear her whine one more season… Rex Linn plays the crew’s uniformed cop buddy, Frank Tripp. He’s getting more and more screen time and acts as the audience’s representative on the show. He’s a good tough cop, but the science just goes over his head. New to the 7th season was Megalyn Echikunwoke, please don’t make me spell that last name again, as the new medical examiner on the series, Dr. Tara Price. She’s a huge change from the previous pathologist whom I’m sure fans are already missing. She’s got a bit of a ‘tude. She also flirts too much, while Alex always had this almost unnatural respect for the dead.

The 9th season sees a few big storylines develop. This version of CSI has always been the more explosive action version of the franchise. That usually played out mostly with Caine and Delko. A big improvement to this season is that everyone gets to do a lot more running and jumping this year. The season begins with a full out assault on the lab and the action never really lets up for one episode. Emily Procter had a baby this season so the Calleigh character doesn't get near as much to do as all of the others. The lab rats had to step up and I even found myself enjoying Eva LaRue a bit more that usual. She's still annoying but a little less so when she's running for her life.

For the two or three people on the planet that don’t know, the idea is actually quite a simple one. The CSI night shift crime scene investigators utilize all of the latest science to solve often brutal crimes. Instead of guns, these detectives come packing microscopes and test tubes. The most senior member of the team is former Vegas showgirl Catherine Willows (Helgenberger) who juggles her long hours with raising a daughter. She usually provides the more clear-headed perspective. Grissom’s mild love interest is feisty Sarah Sidle (Fox). Promoted from the DNA lab is Greg Sanders (Szmanda). Sanders is often the comic relief, and while a solid team member, often gets into a spot of trouble. He’s the fresh eyes on the team, likely to be most identified with by the audience. Nick Stokes (Eads) is the macho man in the group. The newest member of the team is Dr. Raymond Langston (Fishburne) who came in last season after Grissom left to study bugs in South America.  Hodges (Langham) looked up to Grissom and has had to step up his game in the lab since his mentor left. He's the guy that takes some getting used to and not the most respected in the lab. It's a tough year for him because lab partner and girlfriend Wendy (Vassey) leaves as the 11th season opens. The team often works with Lt. Brass (Guilfoyle) and medical examiner Robbins (Hall). Together they follow the evidence wherever it might take them.

Things are still changing in this 11th year, and the show has never really had a chance to settle since the departure of Grissom. Katherine is having to go up against the lab brass and Detective Brass this season and feels on the outs more than she feels like a part of the team. We're also about to lose the new character played by Lawrence Fishburne as he ends the season by killing a serial killer, but it wasn't a clean shoot. Even with the lab trying to protect him he's gone, and Ted Danson will replace him in the next season. Sarah is married to Grissom now but is here at the lab instead of in South America with him. It's an awkward situation for her and for us in the audience. It's hard for us to get past his exit because they keep talking about him. It's also never seemed very realistic to me that he could fall for Sarah. She's about the most aggravating character in the entire franchise.

One of the best highlights of the 6th season include an episode where the boys get shoved into a reality where they are two actors playing in a television series called Supernatural. Yeah, they did it in Eerie Indiana, but it works just the same here. For so many fans the show has built an enormous reality of its own. This one just gives fans a chance to look at their own world for a few minutes through the eyes of Supernatural.

If you are a fan of the original Kolchak: The Night Stalker, you were more than likely disappointed in the remake a couple of years ago on ABC. Your hope is now once again restored. Supernatural is the closest thing I’ve ever seen to The Night Stalker. Like Kolchak, the Winchester brothers are faced with weekly incarnations of evil. They’re forced to research these legends and figure out a way to stop them. As Kolchak discovered, it’s a thankless job. Sure, Supernatural is populated with all sorts of beasties and nasties, but it also manages to hold on to a sense of humor that rounds out these adventures to make this one of the most entertaining shows around. When UPN and WB merged, I was a little worried about Supernatural. You do the math (that was another review). Two networks worth of shows, one network worth of programming time. Half of the shows needed to vanish, and I was concerned Supernatural would be one, if history of respect for genre shows was any indication. Fortunately for us the show has not only survived, but it has thrived, looking to be around for quite a while yet.

Ever wonder what the kids of South Park might be like if they ever made it to adulthood? While I’ve not seen that many episodes of the FX series It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, that was the first observation that came to mind. These are the South Park kids all grown up. They’re crude, raunchy, mean, and most importantly, they are as politically incorrect as ever. If you need an example, I can offer one right from one episode. The guys have a Christmas tradition that dates back to their childhood of throwing rocks at moving trains. An episode I caught a while back had two of the guys going to an abortion rally because they suspected that pro-choice chicks gotta be easy. Sound like anyone we know? If you love irreverent humor that’s not afraid to cross over the line, this F/X series has everything you’re looking for, and without those silly construction paper animation limitations. These are real dudes.

The best way to introduce you to the world here is through the characters. The Philadelphia setting and all of the other trappings really don’t matter. You could put these characters any place, doing almost any jobs, and the series would pretty much be the same. The actors and some cleverly written dialog really make the show.

“There’s always a story. You just have to find it.”

What happens when you’re a popular murder-mystery writer and someone starts to use your stories and ideas to kill people in the real world? At first you become the prime suspect, particularly if you’re found to be completely self-centered and annoyingly arrogant. That’s where a pretty good alibi might come in handy. Is playing poker with the Mayor and the Chief of Police good enough? So, you’re no longer a suspect. Now what do you do? You sign on as a consultant for the special crimes squad of the police department, and you help catch the real killer. Only instead of looking for him O.J. style on golf courses and in steakhouses, you team up with the cops and nab that good-for-nothing plagiarist. The problem with that is you might just find that you like it. Even worse, it might end up curing that writer’s block you got after killing off your lead character and proverbial golden goose, much to the chagrin of your publisher who also happens to be your ex-wife. Follow any of that? If you did, you now have the setup for one of the better premiere series from last season, Castle.

“...and now the killer video that kills you seven days after you watched it, we're the only station that has it and we are showing it all night.”

Gone are the Wayan Brothers and in their place, David Zucker (Airplane, Naked Gun), one of the pioneers of the spoof movie, takes the helm. In some ways this is an improvement, in some it loses some of the naughty punch the Wayans brought to their films Scary Movie and Scary Movie 2. Gone are Shorty and Ray (and most of the sex and drug jokes with them) and in their place we have a not-yet-insane Charlie Sheen, the great Leslie Nielsen and a very funny Simon Rex. The spoofs are not quite as wide ranging, focusing primarily on The Ring and Signs, but they still manage to slam 8 Mile (not funny) The Others (still not funny) and The Matrix Reloaded (should have been funnier). The wisest thing Zucker did was center the movie around the star really carrying this franchise, Anna Faris.

“Cindy, this is a skeleton, this is bones! Would you run from Calista Flockhart?

The quote above is from one of my favorite scenes in Scary Movie 2. A reanimated skeleton stalks Cindy (Anna Faris) through the halls. She runs into Brenda (Regina Hall) and begs her to help. Brenda looks down the hall and sees it is just a skeleton. She kicks its ass and rearranges the bones to humiliate it. The problem is the Calista Flockhart reference. She might have been a cultural icon in the late 90s, but she’s been off the map for over a decade. The shelf life of pop culture parodies like Scary Movie 2 is very short.