1.78:1 Widescreen

It is concert time folks and I got another good from the folks at Eagle Rock Entertainment. Hope my audience today likes the Eighties rock and roll because we got a doozie of a band tonight. They are The Pretenders famous for such songs as Message of Love and Back on the Chain Gang. Like many bands of their time, they are formed from the heart of England but they have fully embraced the American way. But without further adieu, let's go to the Wiltern Theatre in Los Angeles. Maybe they can “Bring out the Biker” in all of us (once I figure out what that means).

“I am in the oldest profession in the world.”

Ray (Thomas Jane) is a middle-aged divorcee knocked to his knees by the recession. His home is fire-damaged, he lives in a tent in his backyard, the school he works for as a coach keeps slashing his department’s funding and threatening layoffs, he’s still in love with his neurotic ex-wife, Jessica (Anne Heche) and is struggling as a single father to raise social-misfit teen twins, Damon (Charlie Saxton) and Darby (Sianoa Smit-McPhee).

The CSI phenomenon has been going strong for many years now, and CBS has ridden that wave to become the top network these past couple of years. It all started with the original CSI: Crime Scene Investigator. This Las Vegas show became an instant hit, and three years later we found ourselves in Miami for a spin-off. Two years after basking in the Florida sunshine, Jerry Bruckheimer caught lightning a third time; this time out New York would serve as the setting.

The series follows the CSI model set forth in the original Vegas version of the franchise. The lead CSI here is Horatio Caine played by former NYPD Blue actor David Caruso. Caruso left that series because he fancied himself better as a big movie star. Several failed leading roles later he finds himself back playing virtually the same character here. It’s the same Caruso odd speaking pattern, only this time he has a lab coat to go with that gun.

For the two or three people on the planet that don’t know, the idea is actually quite a simple one. The CSI night shift crime scene investigators utilize all of the latest science to solve often brutal crimes. Instead of guns, these detectives come packing microscopes and test tubes. The most senior member of the team is former Vegas showgirl Catherine Willows (Helgenberger) who juggles her long hours with raising a daughter. She usually provides the more clear-headed perspective. Grissom’s mild love interest is feisty Sarah Sidle (Fox). Promoted from the DNA lab is Greg Sanders (Szmanda). Sanders is often the comic relief, and while a solid team member, often gets into a spot of trouble.

One of the best highlights of the 6th season include an episode where the boys get shoved into a reality where they are two actors playing in a television series called Supernatural. Yeah, they did it in Eerie Indiana, but it works just the same here. For so many fans the show has built an enormous reality of its own. This one just gives fans a chance to look at their own world for a few minutes through the eyes of Supernatural.

Ever wonder what the kids of South Park might be like if they ever made it to adulthood? While I’ve not seen that many episodes of the FX series It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, that was the first observation that came to mind. These are the South Park kids all grown up. They’re crude, raunchy, mean, and most importantly, they are as politically incorrect as ever. If you need an example, I can offer one right from one episode. The guys have a Christmas tradition that dates back to their childhood of throwing rocks at moving trains.

“There’s always a story. You just have to find it.”

What happens when you’re a popular murder-mystery writer and someone starts to use your stories and ideas to kill people in the real world? At first you become the prime suspect, particularly if you’re found to be completely self-centered and annoyingly arrogant. That’s where a pretty good alibi might come in handy. Is playing poker with the Mayor and the Chief of Police good enough? So, you’re no longer a suspect. Now what do you do?

“...and now the killer video that kills you seven days after you watched it, we're the only station that has it and we are showing it all night.”

Gone are the Wayan Brothers and in their place, David Zucker (Airplane, Naked Gun), one of the pioneers of the spoof movie, takes the helm. In some ways this is an improvement, in some it loses some of the naughty punch the Wayans brought to their films Scary Movie and Scary Movie 2. Gone are Shorty and Ray (and most of the sex and drug jokes with them) and in their place we have a not-yet-insane Charlie Sheen,

“Cindy, this is a skeleton, this is bones! Would you run from Calista Flockhart?

The quote above is from one of my favorite scenes in Scary Movie 2. A reanimated skeleton stalks Cindy (Anna Faris) through the halls. She runs into Brenda (Regina Hall) and begs her to help. Brenda looks down the hall and sees it is just a skeleton. She kicks its ass and rearranges the bones to humiliate it. The problem is the Calista Flockhart reference. She might have been a cultural icon in the late 90s, but she’s been off the map for over a decade. The shelf life of pop culture parodies like Scary Movie 2 is very short.