Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 28th, 2006
Synopsis
Benchwarmers at first glance appears to be a stupid comedy. Produced by Adam Sandler (Big Daddy) and starring Rob Schneider (Deuce Bigalow), the movie’s 85 minute existence appears to be an aberration in the space time continuum, something that should not be discussed or hinted at for all eternity. Now, I’m not in this to bash Schneider, God, every critic has done that already, and I can’t add any new material. But in his role as Gus, he just isn’t believable.
Gus is ...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 28th, 2006
Synopsis
Will Patton is the owner of the Black Pelican, a road house where he will tolerate no nonsense, and particularly no drug dealing. This doesn’t please local slimeball Jake Busey, and when Patton refuses to sell, Busey (through dirty fighting, of course) beats Patton to within an inch of his life. Patton’s nephew is Johnathon Schaech, undercover DEA agent, and he arrives in the boondocks to take over the bar and set things straight.
B-movie checklist: opening fight scene (check), cop...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 25th, 2006
Synopsis
Tyler Perry once again dons multiple costumes to incarnate several characters, most prominently Madea, the no-nonsense but mischievous matriarch of a very fractious family. She is ordered by the court to take in a runaway as a foster child, and that project of reclamation joins that of helping out her nieces. They have a mother from hell. One sister is struggling to learn how to love again, while the other is being forced into marriage with the hideously abusive Blair Underwood.
I ...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 15th, 2006
Lately, I've been wondering out loud about what will happen to these over-produced teen pop stars who are thrown all this media exposure by their parents (to the point of exploitation). When are we going to start seeing some Playboy or Maxim photo shoots? When are we going to see someone on Cinemax After Dark, or even Night Calls? I mean, it's obvious at this point that Ashley Simpson can't sing, and she's starting to look more and more like her sister in an attempt to become her, without the appeal. And since there's a rumor floating around that she turned down a multimillion dollar Playboy photo shoot (after the proverbial "great deal of thought"), it seems to be the next logical step.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 15th, 2006
Frank (Peter Mullan, Braveheart) has been designing and building ships in a British shipyard for 36 years. Suddenly and very cruelly, Frank is let go without any pension or prospects, and is left wondering what to do. An attempt at job searching finds him virtually at the feet of his sister-in-law, so he is basically left to walk around this nameless London suburb stunned and unsure of what to do with himself.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 6th, 2006
This is the first Woody Allen film I’ve ever seen.
Something always put me off about the guy. Maybe his infamous personal life plays a part in my not wanting to explore Allen’s cinematic offerings, but I would chalk up my ignorance to Allen’s physical appearance. Shallow, I know. But he’s a little nub of a man who has self-indulgently cast himself as the romantic lead in most of his films. But whatever, he’s a respected filmmaker and the responsibility of being a film buff requires me to keep an open mind -...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 6th, 2006
OK, so I've gotta admit that I'm a little bit of an uncultured boob who is not that familiar with the writings of Russian Anton Chekhov. In fact I know a little bit more about Andrei Tarkovsky (Solaris) then anything else, and that Chekhov was (and still is) an influential force in dramatic works today. Well, he has to be if his work "The Three Sisters" gets adapted into a play by Richard Alfieri, then into a film starring a capable and recognizable cast, right?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 6th, 2006
There is no shortage of vampire stories out there. There’s certainly no shortage of kick butt chicks dressed as sparsely as possible running around in depressed future populated worlds. Underworld, without a doubt, does the combination better than anyone. Ultraviolet makes a grand attempt that really ends up being more of a ride than anything else. Now, I can usually follow the most convoluted storylines, but this one gave me some trouble. It seems that while trying to create a super soldier (where is Mulder and Scully when you need them) the government made a big oops and created something akin to a vampire.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 26th, 2006
Jack Nicholson can make a convincing case for being one of the greatest actors of all time. He's had his share of memorable moments in movies, with quoted lines etched in our brains. It took a while for me to get "You can't handle the truth!" out of my head. He has also turned in outstanding performances in lesser known movies that have shown his range and dramatic ability. Alternate viewing recommendations to see Jack in action include Hoffa and The Pledge, among a variety of others....In About Schmidt, the follow-up effort by Alexander Payne (Election), Jack strips away the sunglasses, the eyebrow and the devilish grin, puts on 20 pounds, and gives us a performance that some have labeled as career defining.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 26th, 2006
Let’s face it. Movies released in January usually aren’t very good. Yes, some of these movies are Oscar hopefuls that are released nation-wide, but only after being released in selected cities to quality for those Oscars. No, we’re talking about stinking piles of crap like Uwe Boll’s Bloodrayne here. Being that January is Hollywood’s cinematic dumping ground, it comes as no surprise that Tristan & Isolde was released during this very same month in 2006.
Delayed for nearly a year, Tristan & ...
