DVD

Do you ever look at some covers in disbelief and wonder why this ever got made? Okay, some directors are trying to break into the business or perhaps an actor is taking on an indie release that one can show their acting range with. But if a movie looks, smells and feels like a B movie; then most likely you are in for a rough ride. At the end, you might come out okay. A lot of times however, you might not. I witnessed such an example in Killer Pad. A movie directed by Robert Englund. Yes, the "Freddy" guy. The box sports some clueless guys and a hot devil lady. Oh and a spooky house behind it all. I'm scared, mainly cause I have to watch it.

Three friends; Doug, Craig & Brody (played by Daniel Franzese, Eric Jungmann, & Shane McRae) decide to leave their small midwest lives and head for the Hollywood Hills. After some searching, they meet up with a landlord named Winnie (played by Bobby Lee)who gets them to a sign a deed to 666 Perdition Lane (gee I wonder if it could be evil). Once they get there, they realize it is the house of their dreams and decide to host a party at their "killer pad." Little do they know that the house is haunted and foul things are a foot. The rest of the adventure is spent finding out the answer to various supernatural occurrences and trying to still host the most awesome party ever.

A decade or so ago, Andrew Niccol’s Gattaca came to a theatre near you. It received a fair amount of critical acclaim, including a few award nods for production design and music, but wasn’t much of a commercial success. Beats me why not, because the film is right up there with the best in the science fiction genre, at least in my book.

Now on a Special Edition DVD from Sony Pictures, Gattaca has another shot at the mass popularity it deserves. But does the special disc treatment add anything to improve its chances?

A tough-as-nails cowboy (James Denton) unwillingly hooks up with a naive greenhorn (Chris Kattan) when they have a run-in with a bent sheriff. They may think they have some problems now, but things are much worse than they think, as the town and the surrounding countryside are in the initial stages of a zombie plague.

Simon Pegg and company might well be starting to rue the day they came up with Shaun of the Dead. Though not the first zombie comedy (that would probably be Return of the Living Dead if we exclude some non-cannibal zombies appearing in some 30s horror-comedies), their magnificent film and its success are the proximate cause of the current flood of would be “zombedies” (as this flick labels itself). A western zombie comedy might seem like a promising mix, until one realizes how few western comedies have actually worked, and this one isn’t breaking the trend. Its opening scene (a clumsy zombie attacking his family) veers uncertainly from the tired slapstick to the truly distasteful, and the rest of the film has all the comedic zing of dragged out SNL skit (Chris Kattan, I am casting my baleful eye at YOU). Turgid stuff.

I’m not going to spend any time in this piece telling you about the characters, actors, or plots of the new Stargate direct to DVD film The Ark Of Truth. Honestly, if you are not up to speed you will be totally lost here and have zero chance of even remotely enjoying the ride. For the show’s fans, I think you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say that The Ark Of Truth is basically a perfect extended episode of the series. There is a prelude that provides the “story so far” in flashbacks from the series, but let’s face it, Stargate ran for 10 years and it wasn’t really known for its uncomplicated story threads to begin with. Likely instead of catching you up, the prelude will leave you with even more questions. This is not the place to jump on board the Stargate journey. And no, having seen the original film will do you no good at all. If you find yourself suddenly interested in the franchise, go back and start at the beginning. Trust me, the time will be well spent.

 

Bee Movie is almost completely a Jerry Seinfeld creation. The idea apparently came out of a conversation the comedian had over dinner with Steven Spielberg. From the simple concept of a film about bees called Bee Movie, Seinfeld teamed with his long-term collaborator Spike Feresten. Together they created a rather amusing world where bees can talk and live in a human-like society dedicated to the production of honey. I’ll admit that while I often enjoyed the Seinfeld television series, I was one of those that never really got it. On the surface a lot of it was funny, so I watched it, but I can’t really call myself a true fan of the series or the comedy of Jerry Seinfeld. Pretty much however you might have felt about the show will carry over to Bee Movie. The entire film reflects pure Seinfeld in the characters and his somewhat trademark observations on life. It is that element that might have lessened the overall enjoyment for me. Seinfeld’s bee world is so much like his television or stand-up world that I found it hard to immerse myself into the story. No question there were some clever ideas at work here, but it sure seemed like somewhere along the way someone settled for mediocrity.

 

I don’t know what I really expected when I started watching Greek. I never saw the broadcast, and the series was extremely underplayed in the crowded wilderness of promos and press. Honestly, I’m not sure I would have invested any time in the show if I had heard of it. So, when Greek showed up at my door to watch and review, I had to scratch my head a little bit before deciding to put the first disc into my DVD player. The release case almost makes the show sound like a Greek life reality show, and I’m sure as we speak some new reality creator is just now thinking what a great idea that would be. But Greek is not a reality show at all. It’s a teen soap opera set in the party environment of a college campus and both a fraternity and sorority house. The concept would appear to be slightly misplaced on ABC’s Family Network. The prerequisite underage drinking and promiscuous sexual lives don’t appear to be the best “family” entertainment. We don’t get even halfway through the pilot episode before we’re already charting those waters. To be sure, Greek is no Animal House, and the atmosphere is toned down considerably, but the issues remain, and this is not a show for the kiddies.

 

Two couples, each with their own intimacy issues, set out to spice up their love life by attending a sex therapy seminar. After navigating through their problems for about forty minutes, they each settle on group sex to solve their problems, because that's always the best solution to everything, right?

The first couple is James and Heather (Culkin and Alexis Dziena). James is madly in love with Heather, but she can't have an orgasm when they have sex. That, my friend, is a problem. The second couple is Ellis and Renee (Kuno Becker and Dushku), who seek thrills to liven up their bored sex life. That, is a problem too... but not as bad as the first.

I now realize that the funniest funny is found in awkwardness. This is why Curb Your Enthusiasm is so popular. The main characters do things that make you cringe, often to the point where you even cover your eyes because it’s just too painful to watch. You say aloud to yourself, “Oh my god, no he didn’t just get a boner while hugging that old woman,” or “why are you talking to the TiVo guy when your wife might die?!” But with all due respect to the people that hate Larry’s character (Larry David) because he’s so rude and does stupid stuff, he often gets the short stick and apologizes when he shouldn’t have to.

If the unscripted show didn’t already shoot from the hip, the sixth season of Curb adds new potential for cringe-worthy activities. This 10-episode season introduces the Blacks (including Vivica A. Fox), an African-American family displaced by Hurricane Katrina Edna who altruistic Cheryl (Cheryl Hines) wanted to take in while the family’s house was being rebuilt. I was surprised by the few issues that actually sprung up with the new additions.

If Matt Stone and Trey Parker have learned anything in their long run with South Park, it’s how to squeeze a buck out of the show’s DVD releases. Imaginationland is a 3 part episode from the show’s 11th and most recent season. There’s no doubt that the full season will eventually be out in DVD at some point. But, you see, that could be months away, and we just can’t have that. So in typical South Park epic form, the three episodes are edited together to bring us a “full length South Park movie”.

Let’s make the point right from the start, that South Park, this is not. Lil’ Bush Resident Of The United States is simply a group of liberals who have nothing better to do with their time then bash the President. On the surface there are actually some rather humorous elements, and I must admit to finding the idea a little clever. Think Muppet Babies and the Bush Administration. I enjoy satire quite a bit, and when it’s dead on it can be not only entertaining but effective. Here all we really get is a cartoon about these politicians presented in nothing but a negative light. They go through each episode engaging in one nonsensical farce after another, so that you’re left asking yourself one simple question: Just how many times is the same joke going to be funny?  Not only is W just an idiot, but his brother Jeb is presented as far worse. I have lived in Florida for 20 years, and I can tell you there was nothing “idiotic” about the way Jeb handled hurricanes, once 4 in 35 days,  and other crises that he encountered as our governor here. Cheney is presented as a Satanist who revels in his evil ways. Lil Condi wants nothing more than for W to fall in love with her, and Lil Rummy is a war-mongering bully. W loves his hot dogs and leads the group in a rock band where the motto is “rock and awe”. There are moments this stuff actually gets funny, but too often when it’s simply mean-spirited. I’ll admit they do take some swipes at the other side, but it always comes across as far more playful. In short, if you’re a Bush hater, this stuff will be solid gold. If you’re more balanced and levelheaded, this stuff is funny for a time but gets old real fast.