Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 10th, 2010
So Troll 2 hits Blu-ray. That fact is as sure a sign of the coming Apocalypse as any I can think of, and, at the very least, must threaten the entire Blu-ray format with destruction, as judgment rains down from the hands of an angry God. If, Gentle Reader, you come to this review without any foreknowledge of the film, and are actually wondering if a movie called Troll 2 might be good, then please run as fast as you can and hide. Or at the very least, please watch the legendary YouTube clip appended below. What, you're still here? Don't say you weren't warned.
I'm risking my immortal soul by writing any kind of a synopsis of this film, but here goes. Little Josh (Michale Stephenson) is regularly visited by the rather cranky ghost of his grandfather, who warns him about the dangers posed by goblins (yes, this is a movie called Troll 2 that features goblins instead of trolls – already a dire omen). Josh's family heads off into the countryside for a pioneer-style holiday. Less than happy to be on the trip is teenage daughter Holly (Connie McFarland), whose callow boyfriend Elliot (Jason Wright) was supposed to come along, but was late. Elliot and his equally idiotic friends are now trying to catch up under their own steam. Our characters arrive in the town of Nilbog, where the residents turn out to be goblins in disguise. Their dastardly plans involve transforming the people into vegetable hybrids, and then eating them.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 8th, 2010
Open Water:
An over-worked couple (Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis) whose marriage, while not in danger, has clearly reached some difficult shoals, head off on a diving vacation. A mix-up (which is disturbingly credible) results in the tour ship leaving them behind. Stuck in the middle of the ocean, they float together, hoping against hope for rescue, growing cold and hungry. And then there is the marine life. Like stinging jellyfish. And sharks…
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 6th, 2010
The legacy of Walt Disney and the studio he created requires little explanation. The studio invented the idea of a feature-length cartoon and has been on the cutting edge of animation since the 1930’s. No other studio can claim ownership of as many animated classics as Disney. From Mickey Mouse to Pixar, the studio has churned out one masterpiece after another for over 60 years. What tends to get lost in this great body of feature-length classics is that the studio was also producing some very high-quality shorts over these years. Whether it’s Disney favorites like Mickey, Donald, Minnie, or Goofy or it’s strictly one-off characters gathered to tell a wonderfully animated story, Disney has a record that simply hasn’t been and likely will never be matched.
The Disney magic faded for a little while during the 1980's. There were still animated features, but they weren't the groundbreaking triumphs of the studio's golden age. All of that changed as we entered the 1990's. The Little Mermaid is considered the first of the new wave of Disney classics. It certainly signaled a change in the direction of animation at Disney. While the change may have begun there, I believe it was Beauty And The Beast that started a wave of productions that would peak with The Lion King. With Beauty And The Beast everything is cranked up a notch from the mediocre affairs the studio had been churning out for a time. Beauty And The Beast had the epic proportions, fluid animation, and bright colors that set the Disney Express back on track.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 6th, 2010
We all remember the classic underdog film from 1984. Then it was awkward child star Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita in the lead roles. It was a coming-of-age story that taught some valuable lessons about discipline and patience. It was an immediate classic that pulled in a much more than respectable $90 million at the box office. It spawned three sequels which did not do near as well as the original. Now we find ourselves in an age where just about any movie ever made has to be remade/reimagined/rebooted/ or merely capitalized upon. Should there have been a new Karate Kid?
The box office would indicate that the move was a good one. The take was nearly double that of the original film. You also have to remember that 16 years have come and gone and $176 million doesn't buy you what it used to. Still, it's a huge number for a remade film, so I suspect the folks behind the film feel justified. Don't be surprised to see another group of sequels to follow.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 4th, 2010
"General George S. Patton. His bold attacks are legendary. See the war the way he saw it and ride along with his hard-fighting troops as they battle their way through World War II. On this 360-degree battlefield, Patton's enemies could be anywhere and everywhere. There's nowhere to run, when the war is all around you."
Patton 360 does for the European theatre of World War II what Battle 360 did for the fight in the Pacific. Just as in that earlier program, we are brought into somewhat intimate contact with one of the most prolific and successful fighting corps in that part of the war. Patton was a larger-than-life general who often got into his own way more than the enemy ever did. He was nicknamed Old Blood & Guts based on a standard speech he delivered when addressing the troops. He was the most successful general in the European war. From Normandy he pushed across France and into Germany liberating towns along the way. The French citizens loved him and considered him a hero. His troops respected him and drew confidence from him, even if they did not necessarily love the man himself. He didn't suffer what he considered foolish behavior very well. He found himself suspended and out of the war for nearly a year when he slapped two battle-fatigued soldiers with whom he had lost patience. However, it would be impossible to discuss the Great War without spending some significant time on George S. Patton. This series does just that ... and with a certain flair.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 4th, 2010
It's a classic moment in holiday cinema history. Ralphie, Flick, and Swartz are gathered around a flagpole in the dead of winter. Flick is scoffing at the idea that your tongue will stick to a metal surface under these extreme cold conditions. So Swartz commits a small violation of etiquette when he goes right for the triple dog dare. There isn't any way out for our friend Flick. The results are predictable, but nonetheless hilarious. I wish I could say the same for the teen angst film Triple Dog. For me, there truly was no way out. You, my gentle reader, might yet save yourself.
Eve (Fast) is having a birthday sleepover. The guests include her best friend Chapin (Robertson), who is a bit of a loudmouthed troublemaker. She's carrying a pretty dark secret that is causing her to act out and behave in a self-destructive manner. There's also Liz (Taylor-Compton) who is the dark school outcast. She's nicknamed "rat girl" because she carries a pet rat in her backpack. She and Chapin really do not like each other. Liz wasn't really invited, but their mothers are friends and she's pushed into the sleepover party. Cecily (Parish) is the rich girl in the group. Her father owns a local store. She's also the proper class president and academian in the group. Sarah (Tennant) is a strait-laced Catholic girl who is the uptight do-gooder in the group. Finally there is Nina (McKillip), who is the typical dumb blonde girl in the group.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 30th, 2010
We all remember Ed O'Neill as Al Bundy from Married With Children. It's an iconic role that he'll never be able to shake no matter what he does for the rest of his life. After that series ended its 11-year run, he even attempted to get out of comedy and take more dramatic roles. I'm sure there was a deliberate intent to try to distance himself from Al. It's not that he likely didn't love playing the role. He just wanted to avoid getting forever typecast in the mold. Those efforts weren't all that successful. But now he's back where he belongs again in a pretty solid sit-com. He's not playing Al Bundy anymore, although you won't have to look very hard to find some of Bundy in Jay from Modern Family.
I have become somewhat frustrated over the television comedy genre for a lot of years. It seems that they all take the same path no matter what the show's actual concept might be. It's usually the same jokes, just in a different environment. I don't have children, but I expect that it must be near impossible to sit down and watch a comedy with your family any more. If I were a stranger visiting this planet for the first time, I would quickly come to the conclusion that sex is about the only thing that's funny here. Thank God that once in a while something fresh comes along and swims against the current tide of innuendo and toilet humor. Modern Family is the kind of show you can enjoy with the entire family. And guess what? It's pretty darn funny on top of it all.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 30th, 2010
"For centuries the prophecies of Nostradamus have been part of the historic record. While highly speculative and controversial, their author's legacy endures."
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 30th, 2010
"God bless fantasy football. There are many things a man can do with his time. And this is better than most of those things."
I'm a big football fan. I watch the Vikings from my high-definition theater here in Tampa, Florida thanks to the wonderful invention of the Sunday Football Ticket. No, this is not an advertisement for DirecTV. In fact, don't get me started on the problems these guys cause me every year. The point is, the Sunday Ticket allows me to watch my favorite football team even if it's not the local losers. I think that was how it was intended to work. But lately fantasy football has literally taken over the sport. Players in these fantasy leagues need information from all of the games so that they can keep an eye on how their players are doing. I tried it once. It just is too much work. It's bad enough that watching movies has become work these days. Why would I want my football to become work as well? What the heck am I going to do for fun then? But, for some, fantasy football is very serious business. Don't believe me? Watch a few episodes of The League.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 27th, 2010
"USS Enterprise, aka The Big E, a fighting city of steel. She is the most revered and decorated ship of World War II. On this 360-degree battlefield, where threats loom on the seas, in the skies, and in the ocean depths, The Enterprise's enemies could be anywhere. Now follow this sea-bound band of brothers through four years of hell. From Pearl Harbor to the doorstep of Japan, there's nowhere to run, when the war is all around you."
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