So I was musing over the last couple of days once again on the nature of the appeal of what I’m (extremely) broadly defining as cult movies. I’m not explicitly looking for a Grand Unification Theory here, though I wouldn’t turn my nose up at one if it turned up. There are some easy answers, but they’re very much only partial ones.

Let’s deal with them first. Yes, there are plenty of cult films that are extraordinary works, classics by any definition, even if they tend to escape the mainstream’s notice. But these are purely and simply fine cinema, and one need not look far to see why people like these movies. After all, why wouldn’t they?

Come with me, gentle viewer, back to the state of horror on TV, Anno Domini 1973. After her long-absent mother dies in mysterious circumstances, Belinda Montgomery attends the funeral where she meets Shelley Winters, an old friend of the family, or so she claims. Winters takes Montgomery into her home, and there our young heroine meets all sorts of strange people, and gradually realizes she is in the clutches of a Satanic cult who believe she is Satan’s daughter.

Televised horror has made great strides since this Movie-of-the-Week era, though even the likes of Masters of Horror still has to work, on its best days, to reach the level of a decent theatrical release. But The Devil’s Daughter is eye-witness to an era where mediocrity was, with very rare exceptions, the best one could hope for. Awful as it is, this pick is awful in entertaining ways. So here we have Shelley Winters teasing us with the promise that she might not take the volume to 11, and then spectacularly breaking that promise; Abe Vigoda channelling the spirit of Boris Karloff; Jonathan Frid stuck with a mute character of unclear motivations; Montgomery’s character portrayed as such an incurious wallflower (she’s only mildly interested in the Rather Big Clue that is the portrait of a cloven-hoofed Satan hanging over Winters’ fireplace) that sympathy is very difficult to muster; Robert Foxworth showing up late in the day as a plot device only the dullest of viewers will fail to see coming; Joseph Cotten doing ditto; and such treasures as a photo album complete with a picture of all the Satanists, in full black regalia, happily posing for a group shot. In other words, the camp comes thick and fast, and that kind of entertainment value is what accounts for this terrible movie’s star rating.

Malcolm McDowell’s second collaboration with director Lindsay Anderson, after their triumph with If..., sees McDowell as an enthusiastic new coffee salesmen sent off to make his company’s fortune in an ever widening area of the Britain. In true picaresque style, he has one strange adventure and encounter after another, each more bizarre than the last, and the whole is intercut with studio performances of Alan Price’s songs that comment on the whole enterprise.

Picaresque narratives are, by their nature, sprawling, episodic tales, and that is certainly true of O Lucky Man, which clocks in at just under three hours. They can, however, also have plots that only appear to be random, but are in fact as tight as wound watch, as is the case with Henry Fielding’s Tom Jones. This is less the case with Anderson’s film, which feels considerably more scattershot in approach. The episodes can be amusing, and McDowell is excellent throughout, but the satirical broadsides feel more obvious than pointed. Viewers will likely be divided over how they feel about the same actors (including Ralph Richardson and Helen Mirren) popping up in multiple roles, a convention rarely seen except in theatre. An interestingly messy work.

The movie of Hudson Hawk was often panned by critics who thought the movie was the worst thing since George Bush Sr moved into office. Look where that has got us! Remember kids, bad presidents only birth worse presidents. Anyhow, Hudson Hawk which was billed as an action comedy and was thought of by many as sloppy, over-inflated movie making that took the cream of bad movie making. Was it a turd that sank like the Titanic?(both the movie and the ship) Was it a lemon like XXX? (both the movie and the scent of Vin Diesel's Mr. Clean head) Actually no. *gasps and shufflings* I know, you expect me to blast it for the steaming pile it is. But when in fact, I enjoyed myself for a solid one hundred minutes. I didn't even need lotion either.

The story starts off with a song. Actually Eddie "Hudson Hawk" Hawkins (played by Bruce Willis) just did a song or term over in Sing-Sing for cat burglary. Now he wants to go straight. However, others in the business have different ideas. Seems there is a plot to steal various items that were in possession of the great Leonardo Da Vinci. The only one they feel that is suited for this job is Hudson Hawk. So, they make an effort to push him in that direction. He does the deed enlisting the help of Tommy Five-Tone (played by Danny Aiello), his old thieving buddy. The first item is a gold horse from Leonardo that is to be put on auction and certified authentic by the Vatican. They make the theft the night before and think they have finished the adventure. But in reality, it's only started. The plot takes off from there until we get to a rising climax where a nun, a CIA group that goes by the name of famous candybars and a recreation of a machine that turns lead into gold all take part.

The fat lady has sung, taken her bows and waddled off to the after-party. Gilmore Girls, a show loved by many — and abhorred by some — was canceled in May, leaving fans without a true series finale. Here, in this DVD set, lie the final episodes, created without input from series creator Amy Sherman-Palladino, who left the show after season six.

This is not a fitting end for our Gilmore Girls, but unless a rumored movie becomes reality, it's all we're going to get. So if you're looking for closure, this ain't the place.

Reviewer fired for bad review, Xbox 360 Dashboard Update, & the Wii being put up on Ebay for grand larceny? - Welcome to the column that is always honest and promises that Kane & Lynch is indeed a steaming pile known as Dare to Play the Game.

Welcome to another edition of Dare to Play the Game. Well as mentioned in the previous week, I finished Puzzle Quest and inadvertently started Carcassonne since it was offered free. To date, only Galaga has been easier for achievements. I finished the achievements on my own over the weekend. Easy 200 points, seriously. If anybody needs help, let me know. I also nabbed a couple of random achievements, one in Dig Dug (yes, yes I know but I only need the dig achievement now which seems to be impossible) and one in Outpost Kaloki which off and on is a fun as heck game. Off and on, I will also be playing Orange Box through since there is so much to work on. Fun stuff, fun stuff.

Avast ye mates, Jack’s back, and did ye ever doubt the return of Cap’n Jack Sparrow? Johnny Depp once again transforms himself like no other actor in Hollywood can. It doesn’t hurt that he wears the persona of Jack Sparrow with the ease of a well worn favorite hat. In this case it be the unmistakable chapeau of Disney’s favorite pirate. At World’s End is the third and final entry in the Pirates Of The Caribbean trilogy. If and when we’ll ever see Sparrow again is anybody’s guess, but I’d lean toward the likelihood that he will return, albeit not that soon and with an almost completely new supporting cast. But that’s not the question that was on most of our minds going into At World’s End. Does the film hold up well against the other two movies? The answer is a somewhat complicated yes… and no.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix launches today on DVD and HD-DVD. The HD-DVD consortium has revealed a new feature just for the HD-DVD release. This new feature ultilizes the standard network adapter included with every HD-DVD player. The gist of the feature is you can connect to a friends HD-DVD player and both of you can can simultaneously view the latest Harry Potter film fully synced up with message functionality.

From the official site:

A friend that I work with said that if Hollywood ever ran out of creative and original ideas, and that if a studio managed to make a sequel about pirate zombies that lasted three hours long, it would clean up at the box office. But the fact of the matter is that if we survived a nuclear winter, we would be well prepared about what to do when zombies took over the land, because of the prep we had from guys like George Romero. So even though Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later might have presumably sealed the deal when it came to this particular interpretation, someone decided to dredge it up for whatever reason.

The sequel, appropriately titled 28 Weeks Later was written by several Spaniards, including Enrique Lavigne (Sex and Lucia), who also produced the film, and Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (Intact), who directed. After the viral epidemic and the subsequent pronouncement that “all was well” in England, the U.S. led NATO troops helped to clean and repopulate the London area. That is slightly down the line of the film’s opening, which has Don (Robert Carlyle, The Full Monty) and his wife Alice (Catherine McCormack, Braveheart) separated when some of the infected invade their countryside cottage, and he manages to get away. Flash forward to the period that shares the film’s title, and Don is a key part of the repopulation effort when his children come back to England. But you know how sequels go, through divine effort or circumstance, London becomes infected again and everything goes straight to hell.

What we have here is an average film based on what I'm told is a great little bestseller, The Nanny Diaries. There's a lot of talent at work in this romantic dramedy, with stars like Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation), Laura Linney (Kinsey) and Paul Giamatti (Sideways), and the directing talents of husband-and-wife team Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini (American Splendor), so I expected more.

But are there any disappointments lurking on this widescreen DVD? Read on to find out.