Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 10th, 2009
We all knew it had to happen eventually. With the success of the “torture porn” films like the Hostel and Saw series, we had to expect that there would be some lightweight twists and turns on the thriving genre. Shuttle is one of those attempts. It gingerly treads on the now familiar ground of the aforementioned films, but each time it makes the obvious moves in that direction, it pulls back and stalls. Edward Anderson is the writer and director of this mess. It was first attempt at either, and it shows, very badly. He couldn’t decide if he was making a traditional slasher film or one of the more trendy “torture porn” exorcises. So, he ends up doing neither effectively.
The setup was pretty much what we’ve already seen a hundred times. Two young women are on their way home from a Mexican vacation. It hasn’t been going all that well, and the plane ride back to the States was bumpy and plagued by horrible weather. Mel (List) is apparently engaged, and Jules (Goodman) is apparently her best friend. It’s late, and they just want to get home. They opt to accept a ride from a shuttle driver (Curran), who offers to take them for half price, instead of accepting a ride from two guys they just met. They figure the shuttle would be safer. But, of course, if that were true we couldn’t have 106 minutes of movie. By the time this hell ride is over you’re gonna wish they’d just taken the offered ride. The girls would be home safely in their beds, or perhaps the guys’ beds, and your life would now be 100 minutes or so longer to do some of those things you’ve promised yourself needed to be done.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 10th, 2009
Donkey Punch was partially funded by the British Lottery. That means you might have actually lost twice. Once if you bought a losing ticket, and again if you watched this movie made possible by your gambling itch. Mama always said nothing good comes out of gambling. Turns out she was right. If this is what the British Lottery Authority is doing with the money, you’re better off going to a bookie. At least Mario “The Shark” Cabliario will spend the money on something worthwhile, like women and booze.
The movie begins with three young women on a tropical vacation. They meet three guys at a bar, who claim to have a yacht parked (okay docked) nearby. The dudes wanna know if the chicks wanna party. They say definitely not. Are you kidding? Of course, they say yes. Turns out these fine upstanding lads crew a yacht for some rich guy who is out of town. That leaves them alone with the toys. Kind of reminds me of the Jimmy Buffet song, Gypsies In The Palace. After a few drinks and a few drugs, the trio and one of the guys’ brother head below to make out. If these scenes get tiresome, bring a book to your theater. The sex scene rambles on for over 20 minutes. Finally, the lame brother decides to take a turn with one of the girls. He’s not too bright. He decides to try a stunt his brother told him about called a donkey punch. Apparently it’s this sexual myth. While having sex with a chick you smack her so hard upside the head that it breaks her neck. Why, I have no idea, but the kid tries it and kills the girl. Now everyone panics. The guys, for the most part, want to dump the girl in the ocean and claim she got so drunk and high that she fell overboard. The girls, understandably, aren’t too keen on that idea. At first they don’t even know how it happened, and assume she overdosed or something. Unfortunately, one of the guys was videotaping the entire orgy and caught the donkey punch on tape. The next half hour is a battle between the factions to gain possession of the tape.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 10th, 2009
Doubt is a case of art imitating art imitating life. John Patrick Shanley based the character of Sister James on a real sister that he knew as a child. He grew up attending Catholic school, and Sister James was one of the nuns he knew during that experience. While the character was based on something real, the events were not. He took this familiar character and developed the fictional story of Doubt around her. This story became a play. W hen it came to adapting the successful play into a movie, John Patrick Shanley took on the job nearly singlehandedly. Now, I’m not a huge fan of these one man writer, director, producer affairs. The infliction of a single voice on a film often results in a movie that plays too much like an inside joke. Nothing is more tedious to watch than a person laughing at their own jokes. So, I went into Doubt expecting that recipe for disaster. Much to my surprise, I discovered that there really are rare exceptions to any rule. Doubt is that rare exception, without a doubt.
Meryl Streep is Sister Aloysius. She is a very conservative sister who can’t let go of the strict traditions of the past. She has taken a strong disliking to the new parish priest, Father Flynn. Flynn is a progressive priest who embraces the new changes the Church has undergone under the recent Second Vatican Council. The film is set in the early 1960’s shortly after the Pope John XXXIII’s proclamation. She takes exception to the fact that he writes with a ball point pen, takes sugar in his tea, and likes Frosty the Snowman, which she believes promotes such ideas as witchcraft to children. She admonishes the nuns under her supervision to watch the priest for anything suspicious. When young Sister James (Adams) calls a particular incident to her attention, she latches on to the information in an effort to bring down the priest. It appears that Father Flynn has taken a young boy under his wing. The boy, Donald Miller (Foster) is the Catholic school’s first black student and not the most welcome young lad. Father Flynn’s special attention is at first interpreted by Sister James as suspicious when Donald returns to her class from a conference with the priest acting considerably distraught. Now Sister Aloysius suspects the boy was molested. She confronts the priest and engages in a brutal campaign to have him exposed, or at least removed from the parish. All the while Sister James becomes more and more convinced she has misjudged the situation and set in motion a terrible injustice that she is now powerless to contain. Her doubt wears heavily on her soul.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 10th, 2009
Jim Carrey’s life and career are in a sort of mid-life crisis. He has avoided doing his usual goofball comedy films and opted for more serious roles. His appearance in Number 23 was a bit of a shock for most of us, but he pulled it off reasonably well. Even his more recent comedies have often been less about one crazy character and more about the story elements. It seems that he has decided it was time to return to the parts that made him a household name with Yes Man. But after watching Yes Man,,I have to wonder if maybe that genre has passed him by. For the first time, you really start to see age catching up on the crazy actor, and while he still has tremendous timing, he doesn’t look altogether quite right when he brings out the twisted faces and expressions anymore. It’s not a dig at Carrey at all. Still, it can’t be very good for a comedy, particularly one with a romantic element to it, when your first reaction is that the lead’s starting to look a little old. It’s not even that he looks bad. He just might need to tone down the goofy and concentrate on being more sincere. When Carrey takes that approach in this film he’s far more believable and, yes, that much more funny.
The story is almost a direct riff from his Liar Liar plot. In this one Carrey plays Carl Allen. Carl is a loan officer at a local bank. He was divorced three years ago, but he still hasn’t gotten over it. He’s become somewhat reclusive and self absorbed. He finds all manner of excuses to avoid doing anything with his friends. Instead he spends each night falling asleep watching rented movies on television. What’s worse is that he doesn’t even know that he’s miserable. One day at lunch a former coworker, Nick (Higgens) approaches him as he’s eating lunch in front of the bank. He tells Carl about how a motivational seminar has changed his life. He invites Carl to come to a workshop, but Carl drops his usual no thanks on him. But later Carl begins to realize how detached he’s become and has a scrooge-like epiphany at just how lonely he is. So, predictably, Carl goes to the seminar. Here motivational Guru Terrance (Stamp) preaches the gospel of Yes. He challenges Carl to merely accept every opportunity that comes his way. He commits him to a covenant to say yes to anything. As soon as Carl leaves the building the expected situations arise, where most sane people would say no. In a series of Yes’s that involve a homeless man, Carl begins to have second thoughts when his affirmative replies appear to put him in a bad situation. That is, until he meets Allison (Deschanel). Suddenly his new life appears to bring him a bounty of experiences and pleasures. As you might expect, it’s all leading to some rather uncomfortable consequences. But, as all “feel good” films must, Carrey eventually learns to live his new life in moderation and lives happily ever after.
Posted in: Contests, Uncategorized by Gino Sassani on April 8th, 2009
Paramount Home Entertainment has graciously given us three copies of The Mystery Of The Easter Chipmunk on DVD to give away.
To enter to win a copy of this Alvin and friends Easter celebration, just follow these two steps...
Contest is now Closed!
Posted in: Contests by Gino Sassani on April 8th, 2009
Paramount Home Entertainment has graciously given us two copies of My Little Pony: The World’s Biggest Tea Party on DVD to give away.
To enter to win a copy of this DVD and Little Pony figure, just follow these two steps...
Contest is now closed. The Winners: Joyce McGregor & Jennifer Burr. If you don't get an E-Mail from me, check your Spam filter and/or write me ASAP!
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 8th, 2009
John Patrick Shanley brings his thought provoking play to the big screen in 2008’s best picture, in my book, Doubt. The Academy likely shied away from the controversial content, likely because it doesn’t make it clear this priest must have done what he’s accused of doing. Many of the actors received deserved nominations, but the film was generally snubbed in the final verdict. While I enjoyed Slumdog Millionaire, for Doubt to not even get the Best Picture nomination is a crime.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 8th, 2009
“Some of the old time sheriffs never even wore a gun. Most folks find that hard to believe. Jim Scarborough never carried one, that’s the younger Jim. Gaston Boykins wouldn’t wear one up in Comanche County. I always liked to hear about the old timers. Never missed a chance to do so. You can’t help but compare yourself against old timers. Can’t help but wonder how they would have operated in these times.”
I know I’m getting old myself when a film set in the 1980’s is now considered a period piece. And No Country For Old Men is about as much of a period piece as anything else. More than any part of the story, it’s the mood and the atmosphere of this movie that makes it work on so many levels. Trouble is, no matter how many times you see the dang thing it doesn’t get any easier to categorize what exactly it is. Sure, it is set in the 1980’s, but truth be told it could have just as well been set in the 1880’s. Has West Texas even changed all that much in those 100 years? Watch this movie and you’ll be asking the same question. No Country For Old Men is as much a western as it is anything else. Some call it a “modern western”, but I don’t like that term a whole lot. I mean, when you stop and think about it, what exactly is a “modern western”? I guess you could just as easily answer, No Country For Old Men.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 8th, 2009
It’s official. I’ve just totally given up on Adam Sandler. Honestly, I haven’t laughed at anything he’s done since the music video for The Lonesome Kicker. How many times can the same absurdity and Romper Room antics work on a film audience? Even in a Walt Disney film that required Sandler to clean up his act a bit, the same sophomoric humor was showing through the threadbare shtick. You just knew there were times he wanted to let loose with some off color remark or obscene gesture. While I was pleased that he gave it the effort, it’s like asking a mute man to talk after you just tied up his hands. There are some moments of genuine warmth with the kids. The guy’s probably a very nice and likable guy, it’s not personal. I’m just tired of the same Happy Gilmore character, just stuck in different situations. Think about it, aren’t they all the same person: Zohan, Gilmore, Little Nicky… The list goes on ad nauseum. A shame, really, because this thing might have had legs with another lead in the role.
Once upon a time in a small hotel, Marty Bronson (Pryce) was trying to run his small family business. Unfortunately, while Marty might have been a great guy, he didn’t have a head for business. He’s forced to sell out to a large hotel chain, owned by Barry Nottingham (Griffiths). The thing that put the deal over the top was Nottingham’s promise to let his son Skeeter (Sandler) run the hotel when he was older. Alas, as I always told my law students in my teaching days: Get it in writing or the promise isn’t worth the paper it’s not printed on. Nottingham does keep Skeeter around, however, as a handyman. Unfortunately he’s treated as a nobody by the entire staff, accept Mickey (Brand). Skeeter’s life is about to change. First, he is given charge of his niece, Bobby (Kesling) and nephew, Patrick (Heit) while his sister, Wendy (Cox) is out of town looking for a job. She’s the local elementary school principal. She’s also a crazy control freak liberal who feeds her kids cakes made out of sawgrass and prohibits such wasteful activities as television watching. Of course, brother Skeeter is going to change all of that. Wendy leaves her friend, Jill (Russell) to help out with the kids and take the “day shift” since she’s also a teacher at their school. But Skeeter’s life might change for the better when he’s given an opportunity to run the new and improved Nottingham Hotel that will replace the current one. If he can come up with a better theme than Nottingham’s future son-in-law and all around kiss up, Kendall (Pearce), he’ll be allowed to finally run the hotel. It doesn’t hurt that he discovers magic in his niece and nephew. It seems that when the three of them engage in some ad lib storytelling (the kids’ books all look like they were written by Captain Al Gore) the stories begin to come true. If he can only manipulate what the kids come up with in his favor, he might just get the big chance he’s been waiting for and even win the girl of his dreams, which he thinks is Nottingham’s Paris Hilton knock-off daughter, Violet (Palmer). Needless to say, it won’t be easy, but Skeeter finds a way to become the hero. Oh, and there’s one of the worst CG creations since Lucas unleashed Jar Jar on an unsuspecting Star Wars fan base. In this case it’s a CG enhanced guinea pig named Bugsy, because of his obnoxiously large eyeballs.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 8th, 2009
“The Black Freighter, the Hell bound ship’s black sails against the yellow Indies sky. I know again the stench of powder and men’s brains and war…more blood”
Zack Snyder had a big problem. He was trying to make a film out of a graphic novel that many acclaim as the best graphic novel ever written. Many directors before him have declared the project unfilmable. Alan Moore, the writing part of the book’s creation team, was dead set against a film version of the book and refused to have his name associated with the film. A lawsuit had broken out between Warner and Fox over who exactly owned the rights to even make the movie. The fans were making their expectations known loud and clear: Mess this up and we’ll get you for it. Did I say Zack Snyder had a problem? On second thought he had several, and not the least was that he found himself staring into the abyss of an unreleasable four hour film. Cuts were going to have to be made, severe cuts. One of those cuts was the comic within a comic story of The Black Freighter.
![Donkey Punch [Unrated] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/donkey-punch-unrated-large.jpg)
![Doubt [Blu-ray] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/doubt-blu-ray-large.jpg)
![Bedtime Stories (Plus Standard DVD + Digital Copy) [Blu-ray] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/bedtime-stories-plus-standard-dvd-large.jpg)
![Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter & Under the Hood (+ Digital Copy) [Blu-ray] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/watchmen-tales-of-the-black-freigh-large.jpg)
