Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 29th, 2011
All eyes are on Angelina Jolie; okay, so that's not much of a surprise, is it? But, I'm talking about the opening scenes of Jolie's partnership with Johnny Depp in the remake of the French spy thriller Anthony Zimmer, retitled for the American audience, The Tourist. Her character Elise is attracting a lot of attention from men hidden away in vans with surveillance equipment trained on her every move and from every angle. No, it's not the paparazzi this time. Elise is being followed because the intelligence community believes she will lead them to their real target, an elusive master criminal named Alex. Instead Elise merely receives a letter which she proceeds to burn and walk away. The agents swarm on the smoldering paper, convinced it's a message from Alex and a clue to his whereabouts. It seems he's gotten away with a ton of money, and sources say he has used some of those riches to alter his appearance, and Elise is the only clue they have left.
The note has instructed her to take a specific train and locate a random person that approximates his size. The idea is to convince the agents that the rube is Alex, thus distracting them from their true quarry whom she is to meet in Venice. On the train, Elise chooses math teacher Frank Tupelo (Depp) for the ruse. She develops an odd attraction for the man and invites him to stay with her in her lavish hotel suite. A series of mistaken identity gags gives Depp a chance to shine in the role, while Jolie offers the window dressing and emotional attachment for the team. Expect plenty of misdirection and red herrings.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Bob Ross on March 10th, 2011
If you don’t already know and love the format, you will be inclined – and well advised – to stay far away from Jackass 3. For some oversensitive souls, the sight of adult males getting smacked, slugged, stomped, shocked, slimed, kicked, catapulted and covered with excrement is simply unappealing. I know, sissies, right? But if you relish the notion of seeing men take abuse that makes them moan, bleed and barf, then the third and final (please, Lord) pseudo-documentary in the series is a guaranteed gross-out of a maximum degree. Heck, if you’re lucky, you might even toss your cookies as violently as some of the movie participants themselves.
Johnny Knoxville, the only real actor among these delinquents (he was excellent in The Ringer, A Dirty Shame and Grand Theft Parsons), demeans himself once again, presumably for cash, and possibly because he knows that by turning 40 on March 11, he knows darn well that he better not let himself be run over by a buffalo or crushed by a professional linebacker ever again. And ringleader Knoxville takes the gentlest bashings in the bunch. Experienced victims Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn and Steve-O go through ordeals that are designed to make the audience cringe and the Jackass gang guffaw like drunken donkeys. (There is a real donkey in the film, by the way. It gets the honor of repeatedly kicking one of the guys in the crotch.)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by BABY on February 12th, 2011
You know you're in a lot of trouble when a movie opens up with the wedding of two dogs. Hi, I'm Baby. I'm the German Shepherd who runs security here at Upcomingdiscs. If you work for either UPS or Fed Ex, no introductions are necessary, and that spells R U N. I want to know why it is that you humans think that dogs want to look and act like people. We don't need no stinkin' sweaters. We don't want to walk on our hind legs. And we don't want to get married. Now I know why some politicians want a law to protect the definition of marriage. The truth is I get along just fine being a dog. I kind of have it made here. Someone always brings me my breakfast. I get belly rubs and treats all day long. The only job I have is protectin' this place, and that job's a cinch. Sure, it would be great to be able to open that fridge door by myself and the whole opposable-thumbs challenge gets in the way every now and again. But at the end of the day, it's a dog's life after all. There's a reason why people say stuff like that. You may think you have all the power, but when I give those delivery guys a piece of my mind, who do you think does all the runnin'? 'Nuff said.
Every now and then Gino asks me to look at some dog movies that get sent here. Okay, yeah, some of these things do happen to slip through my security net. Gino likes that, for the most part but, I'm afraid I really fell asleep on the job for letting Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 get through the door. And someone's gonna pay down the road for that one. But it was my mistake, so it was only fair I had to watch the stupid thing and then write the review while Gino sits here and plays his pinball machine doing something called "poppin" all the dang time while I'm trying to concentrate. Sensitive ears here, by the way. Anyway... here's what I found out.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 2nd, 2011
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrariwise what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would be, you see?"
To be perfectly honest with you, I have never read either of the two Lewis Carroll books on which this film has been based. Under ordinary circumstances, that would put me at a decided disadvantage in both watching the film and certainly in providing an insightful review of the movie. But these are not ordinary circumstances. The characters and their stories, originally told in both Alice's Adventures In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass And What Alice Found There, have become an indelible part of our culture. One need not have read a word to be intimately familiar with Alice and her fanciful friends and rivals from Underland, which Alice herself interprets for us as Wonderland. There have been animated features as well as other live action attempts. The characters have become iconic and have appeared in advertising campaigns and even an episode of Star Trek. The surprise isn't that I feel like I know this story without having read the source material. The real surprise would be if there was anyone out in the civilized world who wasn't familiar with these characters. They were originally oral stories told to a group of sisters, one of which was Alice Little, the inspiration for the tales. They would only end up in book form at the insistence of the young Alice.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 2nd, 2011
When a film is successful enough, it’s a relatively natural assumption today that a sequel will follow. In that sequel we expect more of the same and hopefully something new as well. Unfortunately, there is a disturbing sideline for the animation sequel. Because the actors aren’t really on camera at all, there is the temptation to replace them so that you can do a much cheaper, often direct-to-video sequel. The folks who did Madagascar didn’t go that route, but the folks who did Open Season did. Gone are the likes of Martin Lawrence, Gary Sinise, Ashton Kutcher, and Debra Messing. These voices are replaced by Matthew W. Taylor, Diedrich Bader and Kirk Baily.The result is a decidedly inferior film that was relegated to the Wal-Mart bins instead of the box office.
Boog is upset because no one wants to join him for guy's trip. Even Elliott has backed out of the annual camping trip. So he sets off on his own. He sees a sign for a circus that is coming to town and decides to check it out. There he runs into a circus bear Doug, who is looking to get out of the circus and live with the animals in the woods as the king of the forest. When Boog encounters Doug, he gets conned into switching places with the bear. Of course, both discover the grass really isn't always greener on the other side.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 31st, 2011
"Hello. I want to play a game."
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 31st, 2011
"He paws fiercely, rejoicing in his strength and charges into the fray. He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing. He does not shy away from the sword. The quiver rattles against his side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement, he eats up the ground. He cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds."
Disney has a grand tradition of putting out a certain kind of sports film. You know the type well. There is a champion that must overcome incredible odds and usually their own flaws to rise to the top of their game. Secretariat fits that mold, but only to a point. Usually the movie centers on the athletes themselves, and it's something from within that must change or conquer. With this film, the champion is a horse, and while that often doesn't stop the folks at Disney from allowing us to hear from their perspective, this is based on a true story and remains firmly planted into a reality, of sorts. But, we can't hear from Secretariat himself. Instead this is really the story of his owner Penny Chenery, and it's not a very flattering story at all. I'm afraid that I didn't find myself cheering for the hero this time, and therein lies the fatal flaw of Disney's latest rise-of-a-champion story.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 12th, 2011
Paranormal Activity 2 is both a prequel and a sequel to the first film, Paranormal Activity. Paranormal Activity followed Katie Featherston and her boyfriend Micah Sloat. For some unknown reason, a demon was terrorizing the couple. By the end of the film (October 8, 2006), Katie was possessed by the demon. She kills Micah and then mysteriously disappears. When Paranormal Activity first came out, I had no interest in seeing it. My friends talked about the film, and said it was ‘jumpy’ especially the scene when Katie is pulled out of bed. However, I always thought the film was about aliens, not demons! Flash-forward to late October 2010; I decided to watch a marathon of horror films to celebrate the Halloween holiday. Paranormal Activity was on the list of must-see films, partly because I wanted to be able to say that I had seen it! It was simple, realistic, but left me wanting more.
Two weeks later, Paranormal Activity 2 was released into theaters on Halloween. I am going to keep this review spoiler-free. I want you (our readers) to experience Paranormal Activity 2 spoiler-free, because if you know what is coming, the film will be less interesting. This horror film is not like the majority of others released on DVD in recent years. There are no trails of blood, decapitated heads on spikes, or people sewn together to make a human centipede. Paranormal Activity 2 relies on its shock value to get people into the theaters and to buy the DVD. Believe me when I say, Paranormal Activity 2 has more than enough shock value to satisfy anyone looking for an adrenaline rush.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 11th, 2011
"Did you ever notice how you let a Mexican into your home just because he's got gardening tools? I mean, no questions asked. You just let him right in. He could have, you know, a chainsaw or a machete."
The last year has been a hot year for the illegal immigration debate, between the Arizona law and the various politicians to the vigilante groups that volunteer to arm up and patrol the borders. As the debate rages on and the violence increases, it was only a matter of time before someone exploited it all for your entertainment pleasure. Who better than Robert Rodriquez and his usual cast of suspects?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 3rd, 2011
"I love it when a plan comes together."
I love it when a movie comes together that offers you some value for your entertainment dollar and manages to touch a bit on the old nostalgia strings along the way. I'm not going to try to convince you that the new A-Team film is a great movie. It's not even close. But neither was the series a great series. What I am going to try to convince you to do is go out and at least rent a copy of the A-Team movie and allow it to do exactly what it was intended to do ... take you for a little ride while jogging those old memories just enough to bring the occasional smile to your face. Think about it. Could you really ask a movie to do anything more?
![Machete [Blu-ray] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/machete-blu-ray-large.jpg)
![The A-Team (+ Digital Copy) [Blu-ray] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/the-a-team-digital-copy-blu-r-large.jpg)
