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The movies of National Lampoon haven't always had the best track record. On on the good side, we have Christmas Vacation, Van Wilder or European Vacation (Chevy Chase is gold after all). On the bad side we have movies like Senior Trip, Dorm Daze, or Dorm Daze 2 (Wretchedness has sequels?) But every once in a while, you can take a bad movie and suddenly realize that you are holding something that is worse than any National Lampoon movie to date (I don't care what anybody says but Loaded Weapon wasn't half bad). A movie so bad, that even Jonathan Winters or Diedrich Bader could not save it.

If it's Wednesday, that must mean another batch of SpongeBob cartoons. The lead-off here is the is title episode, a 22-minute piece that recounts the adventures of SpongeBuck SquarePants, our hero's 19th-Century ancestor. The rest of the episodes are an eclectic bunch, and the thematic consistency is less than that of some other collections (there is a vague adventure link that runs through several of the stories). At any rate, the silliness is just as engaging and bizarre as ever, and there are plenty of quick absurdist sight gags to keep you chuckling.

Some years back, I reviewed Elite's Millennium Edition of the NOTLD. That was certainly the most definitive edition at that time. So now we have another deluxe edition. How does it stack up? Before we get to that, a few (largely unnecessary) words about the film. There's a blurb on the box that calls this “the most influential horror film since Psycho,” and there is a great deal of truth to that. As has been pointed out before, the film single-handedly transformed the mythology of the zombie, changing the monster from mindless slave to flesh-eating ghoul. I can't think of any other instance where a mythology was changed so completely and with such finality.

They say that it isn’t over until the Fat Lady sings. Did you ever wonder what “it” was or who the heck this Fat Lady is they keep talking about? I can’t help you there, but I do know who the Fat Man is. It’s William Conrad, who came back to television in 1987 as J.L. McCabe, better known as “the Fatman”. McCabe was one of those tough as nails district attorneys. He was actually an ex-cop, so had great criminal instincts. McCabe wasn’t above bending the law to put away the bad guy, and he wasn’t considered a very friendly type of fellow. He majored in stubbornness and plain speaking.

William Conrad was no stranger to audiences when Cannon joined the Quinn Martin stable of television dramas. In fact, most folks knew his voice before they got to know his trademark girth. Conrad was the original Matt Dillon when Gunsmoke was a radio drama. When the drama entered the visual medium of television, even Conrad admitted later that the audience, who thought of him as tall and handsome, would have been disappointed. His voice lent authority to any role he played, and on radio his size was never an issue.

Todd Haynes continues to dazzle and amaze with his body of work. In Velvet Goldmine, he told the story of a fictitious glam-rock band in David Bowie/Ziggy Stardust style. Far From Heaven found him taking the Douglas Sirk films of the ‘50s into a nontraditional turn. In his follow-up film I’m Not There, his first directorial effect in five years, Haynes examines the persona and essence of Bob Dylan without actually really using the name or the words together at all in the film in a film released in 2007, where features like No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood earned a slew of awards, I’m Not There was an understated gem, and yet summing it up is a little difficult.

If you’ve followed my reviews, you know that I love Stargate. SG-1 or Atlantis; I can’t get enough of them. When the collection of Stargate Infinity discs arrived at my doorstep, I tore into them like a Wraith into a red shirt. Now the Stargate might be an incredible mystery that delights a legion of fans. What is not much of a mystery is why this children’s cartoon version of the franchise only lasted one year.

Inspectors 81 are back on the tough streets of San Francisco for a second season of gritty police work. Remember, these are the same streets Dirty Harry worked during the same decade. There are some memorable moments in this next half season release of “Streets”. Stone goes undercover as a Catholic priest to trap a serial killer who preys on priests in For The Love Of God. It’s a tough assignment in Before I Die. The pair must stop a terminally ill cop who decides to take justice in his own hands before he goes out.

There was a new Cowboy in Dallas, and he wasn’t throwing touchdown passes. But Walker was almost gone before he could really get started. After just four episodes the show’s production company suffered financial collapse, and the show was rescued at the last minute by CBS Productions, who would continue to run the show for its nearly decade-long run. For nine years Norris brought us the ultimate Texas Ranger in a formula cops and robbers show. The show often became a parody of itself, but maintained a solid viewer ship throughout. Hell, Norris even sings the theme song.

<>Imagine waking up one morning to find a newspaper on your front porch. Here in Tampa, the fact that the paper is actually on your front porch is miracle enough. Imagine further that this ordinary looking paper isn’t today’s paper at all, but rather tomorrow’s edition. If you could trust that what you held was the genuine article, so to speak, just think of the possibilities. For most of us our thoughts turn to the myriad ways in which we could enrich ourselves: sports scores, lottery numbers, even stock tips.