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Dolby Digital 2.0 (English)

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 10th, 2004

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Synopsis

Based on the life of co-producer/choreographer JoAnn Jansen, this is the tale of RomolaGarai (no more American than her co-star is Cuban, but what the hell), who is uprooted fromthe States when her father is transferred to Havana. Our heroine is very repressed and bookish,but before you know it, she is being taught all sorts of hot moves by waiter Diego Luna.

Situating the love story and the dancing against the backdrop of the looming revolution isadds a bit interes…
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Past Midnight

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 10th, 2004

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Synopsis

Released on parole after serving 15 years for the murder of his wife, Rutger Hauer becomesthe new case for social worker Natasha Richardson. This being one of those thrillers we’ve seena million times before, Richardson naturally suspects that Hauer is innocent after all, andpromptly falls in love with him. She begins investigating the case, and someone doesn’t takekindly to the fact that she is digging up the past.

Any viewer who actually falls for the did-he-or-di…
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Love Object

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 31st, 2004

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Synopsis

Desmond Harrington plays Kenneth, a terminally shy, socially inept technical writer. Lonelybeyond words and attracted to temp Lisa (Melissa Sagemiller) but unable even to speak to her, heorders a $10,000.00 love doll. After some initial awkwardness, he develops a full-fledgedrelationship with doll Nikki, one that gives him more confidence at work and with Lisa. But evenas he begins a real-life relationship, things begin to fall apart, as he senses that the doll isbecoming j…
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Femme Musketeer, La

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 31st, 2004

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Synopsis

This is a tale of the next generation of Musketeers (can we hear Alexandre Dumas spinningin his grave?). France and Spain are at war, and things are not going well for the French. Youngking Louis XIV is not mature enough to take on his responsibilities, and he is being manipulatedby Cardinal Mazarin (an incomprehensible Gérard Depardieu). Valentine (Susie Amy), daughterof D’Artagnan (Michael York) takes up her father’s sword to fight for the king and Franceagainst corruptio…
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K Street

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 29th, 2004

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Synopsis

Real political figures and fictional characters rub shoulders in this tale of a Washington-based political consulting office. James Carville and Mary Matalin play themselves (as doHoward Dean and others). The consulting firm runs into a crisis when some Saudi clients turnout to (perhaps) have terrorist links.

The concept is pretty much the last word in torn-from-the-headlines fiction. This is a seriesthat is almost concurrent with the headlines. The illusion of real…
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Zorba the Greek

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 26th, 2004

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Synopsis

Repressed, timid writer Alan Bates arrives in Crete with the goal of re-opening a mine leftto him by his father. On the way to the small village where he will live, he hooks up with theexuberant Zorba (Anthony Quinn, who, as an American of Irish and Mexican extraction, is nomore Greek than Bates). Bates puts Quinn in charge of the mine, and Quinn sets himself themission of teaching Bates how to take risks in life.

The broad arc of the story — repressed Anglo-Saxon …
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Global Effect

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 23rd, 2004

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Synopsis

A madman with a dream of cleansing the planet steals a ferociously deadly virus and kidnapsMadchen Amick, the only scientist who potentially knows how to create a vaccine for thedisease. A multinational special forces squad is sent to find the bad guys and rescue Amick.Meanwhile, our villain begins the spread of the virus, and a trigger-happy National SecurityAdviser wants to nuke all of Africa. Erstwhile mummy Arnold Vosloo is the scientist at theWashington HQ urging calm.

Detonator

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 21st, 2004

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Synopsis

A powerful bomb explodes in downtown LA law office. The authorities suspect terrorism,but former FBI agent (now officer for the Bureau of Postal Investigation) Randall Batkinkoff hashis doubts. Politics interferes with his investigation, but he gradually becomes involved asanother bomb goes off. Evidence points to violent survivalist, but is he really the right man?

The rebellious investigator who’s always right. The politically-motivated chief investigatorwho hamstrings th…
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Significant Others – The Series

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 19th, 2004

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Synopsis

Our main characters are Campbell (Eion Bailey), Nell (Jennifer Garner) and Henry (ScottBairstow). They are twentysomethings facing the reality that they are finally going to have togrow up. Campbell is tense, judgmental, and constantly trying to come up with the Next BigThing. Nell is a flake incapable of any kind of commitment (romantic, career or otherwise).Henry is a writer who wants to be writing better stuff than he is. All sorts of affairs of the heartensue. Created b…
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Das Boot – The Original Uncut Version

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 17th, 2004

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I am sure that many consumers have noticed the disturbing trend taking place in DVD land with regard to the same movie being released in multiple versions. This practice, commonly referred to in the industry as “multiple bites at the apple”, is a cheap way for studios to persuade consumers to buy movies that they already own over and over again, since each new release offers some sort of extra upgrade from the previous versions. Even those of us in the DVD community sometimes get burned on this type of thing, as ther…
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Spider-Man vs. Doc Ock

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 16th, 2004

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The mid-nineties Fox Spider-Man was hands down the best animated series of the time. It was one of the first series to use a Japanese animation company to produce a regular Saturday morning series and the Japanese influence was immediately striking. The brightness and depth of colors as well as the consistency of the animation blew away everything else that was available on TV at the time. The stories were outstanding in that they borrowed heavily from classic comic stories and adapted them for viewers that may not b…
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How’s Your News

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 15th, 2004

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Synopsis

The How’s Your News? team is a group of physically and/or mentally challenged reporterswho set off on a journey across the US, interviewing people on the street, at a cattle-call, onalligator farms, and so on. Though at first blush the premise might raise warning flags, not tomention the presence of Matt Stone and Trey Parker as exec-producers, but such worries (which Iconfess I shared) are unwarranted. This is a film that the reporters are proud of, and directorArthur Brad…
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Live Nude Girls

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 14th, 2004

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Synopsis

Kim Catrall is a B-movie actress about to get hitched for the third time. Lora Zane hosts abachelorette party for her. A group of old friends gather, and all their secrets about their livescome spilling out, with a special emphasis on the sexual aspect. So Catrall has doubts, Zane istrouble by heterosexual fantasies that are undermining her relationship with Olivia D’Abo,Cynthia Stevenson is being stalked by her house painter, and sisters Dana Delany (lustful andgossipy) an…
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Star Trek Voyager – The Complete Third Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 11th, 2004

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Season three of Voyager was the most exciting so far. This is the year Q, one of Star Trek’s most beloved characters, adds Janeway to his list of captains to pester. The powerful Borg would also enter Voyager’s universe in Season three. The year would end with a cliffhanger that also introduces 7 of 9 to the cast. This was Kes’s final year. There’s no question that the show’s dynamics went from stun to kill. Episodes became a bit more standalone. The long overdone Kazon arc would be abandoned for more compelling dram…
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Nest, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 11th, 2004

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Synopsis

On July 14, Bastille Day, a group of small-time hoods stage a daring warehouse robbery.Meanwhile, a brutal Albanian mafia kingpin is being transported to Strasbourg for trial. Theconvoy is ambushed by what looks like an entire battalion of heavily armed men, and thearmoured car winds up taking refuge in the warehouse. The soldiers and the thieves, massivelyoutgunned and outnumbered, band together to hold off the enormous siege.

The jacket copy calls this film “Th…
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Windfall

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 9th, 2004

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Synopsis

Casper Van Dien and Robert Englund stage a daring casino robbery on the resort island ofSandbridge. (Where does Van Dien get his helicopter from? Don’t ask.) As we move fromfull night to mid-afternoon in a matter of minutes, our affable criminals are pursued at high speedand finally caught by security chief Gregg Henry (doing his clench-jawed villainy familiar fromPayback, and lifted from Gary Busey). Casino owner Ray Wise (Leland Palmer fromTwin Peaks) gives Van Dien…
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Party Animalz

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 7th, 2004

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Sometimes, I just don’t know where to begin with these reviews. There are bad movies, there are really bad movies, and then there are movies such as this. When it comes to DVD, extremely bad comedies are the lowest of the low. Bad dramas, horror films or love stories are usually only bad because they are tired and predictable. While that doesn’t make them any less annoying, at least they are comfortable. A bad comedy, however, goes beyond those other annoyances and creates something that is truly uncomfortable. It’s …
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South Park – The Complete Fourth Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 6th, 2004

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South Park had peaked with Season 3. The film was a huge hit and some of the best stuff came out that year. Season 4 would become a more up and down year. It’s obvious that the Stone and Parker team decided to push the envelope a bit further. This is also the year we got wheelchair bound Timmy. I liked Timmy at first, but he just gets old fast. One of the highlights of this season is the last episode. Another Mr. Hanky Christmas episode has the boys creating a special computer Christmas card called “The Spirit of Chr…
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G.I. Joe Season 1 Part 2

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 6th, 2004

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Synopsis

G.I. Joe is the collective name of a secret assault force who are locked in combat with thenefarious terrorist organization Cobra (who certainly can afford much nicer accommodationsthan al-Qaeda). Adventures include everything from a giant mutated bacteria to the swordExcalibur. There are also four two-parter episodes.

The animation is typical 80s Saturday morning: crap. The stories move quickly enough, butit is surprising how many of the Joes sound deeply stupid. A…
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Teknolust

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 5th, 2004

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Synopsis

Mousy scienties Rosetta Stone (Tilda Swinton) creates three Self Replecating Automatons(SRAs): the glamorous Ruby, Marinne and Olive (all played by Swinton). The SRAs need themale Y chromosome to survive, so Ruby ventures forth from their home periodically for someanonymous sex. She saves the condoms, which are subsequently used as tea bags. The SRAs pinefor independent life, and Ruby oversteps her bounds, thus risking discovery for them all.

Though some of the elements mig…
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Gacy

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 5th, 2004

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Synopsis

John Wayne Gacy (Mark Holton) is a typical, if rather slobbish, middle-class family man. Heis the local organizer for the Democrats. He also has a bad stench emanating from the crawlspace beneath his house, and the neighbours keep complaining. Gacy has his work cut out forhim dealing with the stench, since it is caused by the rotting bodies of the young men he hasmurdered.

The lurid qualities of Gacy’s crimes mean that this film could have been an unwatchableexercise in b…
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Inhabited

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 5th, 2004

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Synopsis

Megan Gallagher and family move into a new house, and very soon things start to go wrong.It seems that there is a race of little creatures, the “Huldre,” living under the earth, and they playincreasingly nasty pranks. Their central target is Gallagher’s young daughter, who at first isdelighted to befriend the creatures. Malcolm McDowell, slumming for another paycheck, plays apsychiatrist who sees the child’s case as his ticket to glory.

The plotting is sloppy, the character…
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Nine Lives

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 3rd, 2004

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What we have here is a messy British independent film that takes most of its cues from the Agatha Christy 10 Little Indians formula. The film fails to provide enough setup or character development to ensure we give a crap about any of these people or what happens to them. As the dull actors and their equally dull counterparts disappear, I found myself looking forward to losing another one. Most of these chaps are complete unknowns. Only Paris Hilton’s name rang any bells. The producers were quite aware of this dilemm…
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Dragon Fighter

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 2nd, 2004

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Synopsis

Dean Cain arrives at a secret base in California to take over as head of security from hisRussian predecessor. (Why is the other guy Russian? Because the movie was shot in EasternEurope.) He arrives in time for a DNA cloning experiment conducted by the chief scientist/chiefweasel (whose accent sounds more like Moscow than the Chicago of which he supposedly anative). The experiment results in the Jurassic Park-style resurrection of a fire-breathingdragon.

What follo…
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Dawson’s Creek – The Complete Third Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on June 30th, 2004

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Synopsis

Season Three finds our earnest characters dealing with the usual assortment of relationshipand other problems. As the season opens, Dawson and Joey have broken up, and Dawson meets arather sexually forward young woman on a bus. By the end of the season, Joey is involved withPacey. The headline-grabber from these episodes was Jack’s gay kiss.

As I believe I mentioned when reviewing the series finale, I am at a distinct disadvantagewhen it comes to talking about this …
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