Horror

S.I.C.K.

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 31st, 2004

Synopsis

Ken Hebert (lead actor and film’s producer) invites three friends out to his cabin in thewoods. Oddly, these friends are either people he hasn’t seen in years, or barely knows. Along theway, they pick up another young woman who’s been having some hitch-hiking problems. Thatnight, the stranger tells a gruesome story about a killer clown. And wouldn’t you know it? Oneby one, the cast starts being killed by that very figure.

It’s amateur hour, folks. Looks like a bunch…
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 20th, 2004

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Synopsis

In 1973, a group of Young, Beautiful People are on the way across Texas to a rock concert.They pick up a hitch-hiker: a terrified young woman who commits suicide when she thinks she isbeing driven back to the place she just fled. Seeking help in a nearby house, our heroesunfortunately come into contact with Leatherface and his clan, and the slaughter begins.

Though there are some variations, the plot, in is broad lines, is very close to the 1973original. And therein…
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Brotherhood III, The – Young Demons

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 19th, 2004

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The biggest compliment that I can pay to this film is that I have seen worse. The acting is bad, but not painful. The plot is sub-par, but not entirely horrible. The dialog is forced, but not filled with bad teenage slang. Yes, this is a horrible film, but I have seen worse.

Truth be told, The Brotherhood III is more like an excruciatingly long short film. The main emotion that I felt as I moved through this disc was… boredom. Huge segments of the film are simply without dialog or action of any kind….
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Frightening, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004

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The Frightening, as the DVD cover says, is “a new class of horror”. This play on words foreshadows the premise of the movie. There’s a “new kid” at Hallows End High School. His name is Corey (Matt Twining), and he’s having a few problems “adjusting”. Corey has a “past”. But that’s not the “real” problem of this school. Okay…I’ll stop using quotation marks. The major problem at Hallows End High School, nicknamed “Halloween High” (sorry…I couldn’t stop), is that the corpses are piling up. Someone…or som…
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Dracula’s Curse

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 12th, 2004

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Synopsis

Jonathan Harker, his fiancee Mina and their friends are partying it up in Budapest when anone Vlad Tepes makes them an offer they can’t refuse. Lured by the dollar signs, Harker hieshimself off to Rumania to the castle of Count Tepes. The Count, of course, is exactly who youthink he is, and soon he and an Italian version of Dr. Van Helsing are locked in a familiarbattle.

In its broad lines, the film is actually quite faithful to Stoker’s novel. The characters’nati…
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Miner’s Massacre

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 11th, 2004

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A miner from the Gold Rush days of ’49 comes back to life to terrorize a group of youngsters. Sound familiar? Yeah… vaguely sounds like that Scooby Doo episode with the Miner 49er. Alas… I’m not talking about Rooby Roo himself. The movie is Miner’s Massacre. And I would advise eating a whole pouch of Scooby snacks before watching this abomination.

Indeed, the movie is about an old miner that comes back to life to haunt whoever takes his “gold”. Of course, there is a gaggle of young kids re…
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Vampire Clan

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 8th, 2004

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Vampire Clan is supposedly based on a true story. The film revolves around the actions of a teenage Vampire cult in a small American town. The clan gets involved in murder and mayhem, and the movie is supposed to be all the more chilling because it’s based on real life events. Not necessarily, it still has to be scary.

Drew Fuller plays Rod, the Manson like leader of this Vampire clan. Fuller has some natural charm, but isn’t diabolic enough. Kelly Kruger is the teenage runaway Heather, and she als…
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Crazy as Hell

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 6th, 2004

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Synopsis

Michael Beach plays Ty Adams, a psychiatrist whose ego and belief in his methods is hardlyshaken by the deaths, after unsuccessful treatment, of his wife and daughter. He arrives at anmental hospital (whose name you should watch for as it blinks past) headed up by a skepticalRonny Cox. Beach will be filmed 24/7 for the purposes of a documentary as he treats a groupof patients over a few weeks. A particular challenge arrives in the person of Eriq La Salle,who claims to be Satan hims…
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Sightings – Heartland Ghost

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on February 23rd, 2004

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Sightings: Heartland Ghost is based, apparently, on a true story. One is reminded of that other “true story” haunted house movie, The Amityville Horror. But both films have the same hokey quality in common. (no blood in the toilet in Sightings, however). Sightings starts with the “new couple moving to the neighborhood”. They slowly learn that there is something “not quite right” about their new house. Enter paranormal debunker (Beau Bridges) and his T.V crew. Bridges’ character host…
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Asylum, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on February 23rd, 2004

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Synopsis

Jenny (Steffanie Pitt) is tormented by dreams where she sees herself, as a young child,murdering her mother. Her psychiatrist father (Patrick Mower) is of no help, and so she sneaksout of her home one night to return to the asylum where her family once lived, and where hermother died. Three other people – a mad priest, a phony medium (Ingrid Pitt) and a drug addict– are also drawn to this location by forces they do not comprehend. It turns out that they are alltormented by…
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Hangman’s Curse

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on February 15th, 2004

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Synopsis

Years ago, a tormented teen at Rogers High School committed suicide after stabbing a younggirl to death, or so the story goes. In the present, the jocks on the football team are slipping intocomas after having visions of the ghost of the teen. The put-upon goths and geeks at the schoolare summoning the ghost of Abel Frye and cursing the bullies. Or so it seems. Called in toinvestigate is the Veritas Team, a mom-and-pop-and-two-teenagers outfit whose job is toinvestigate pos…
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Freddy Vs. Jason

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 10th, 2004

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Synopsis

Freddy has been rendered powerless by being forgotten. In order to revive his memory, andthus his power, he impersonates Jason’s mother (work with me, here) and sends the hulkingkiller down Elm Street way, hoping that he will be blamed for Jason’s murders. His plan beginsto work, but Jason is so relentless in his slaughter that he starts nailing teens that Freddy hadreserved for himself, and thus the two monsters are set on a collision course.

Enormous fun, even tho…
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Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 26th, 2003

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Synopsis

The version of the story these films tell much the same, given that the 1941 Spencer Tracyeffort was a remake of the 1932 Fredric March production. Handsome Dr. Henry Jekyll,frustrated over being denied an earlier marriage to his fiancee (Rose Hobart in 1932, Lana Turnerin ‘41), quaffs a potion and becomes the monstrous Edward Hyde. Hyde’s principle victim is Ivy(Miriam Hopkins/Ingrid Bergman), the woman on whom Jekyll’s now unleashed sexuality ventsits fury.

Cabin Fever

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 20th, 2003

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Synopsis

A group of college friends head off into the woods for a holiday in a remote cabin. They havean bloody encounter with a gruesomely sick stranger, and he passes his infection on to them. Oneby one, they fall ill, and their friendships are violently torn asunder as they uninfected try toquarantine, by any means necessary, the infected.

Riddled with references to other horror movies, mostly from the 70s (the theme song fromLast House on the Left keeps pla…
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 11th, 2003

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Synopsis

The story is very simple, which is one of the elements that gives the film its raw power. Agroup of young adults in a VW minivan make the mistake of picking up a demented hitchhiker.They manage to dump him, but he marks their van with his own blood. Shortly, the make themistake of stumbling upon what turns out to be the home of the hitchhiker, Leatherface, and therest of the psychotic brood. Most of the cast is killed off by the halfway mark, at which point thefilms …
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Jeepers Creepers 2

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 11th, 2003

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Synopsis

Every 23 years, a monster known as the Creeper lives and feeds on humans for 23 days. Weare at the end of the current cycle. After killing a farm boy on day 22, the Creepers spends hislast day disabling a school bus and tormenting the athletes and cheerleaders on board.

That’s about all you’ve got for a plot, but for this kind of horror film, that’s all you reallyneed. Oh sure, there are all sorts of side issues like the racism of the team captain, and theher…
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Willard

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 26th, 2003

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Synopsis

The pathologically shy Willard Stiles (Crispin Glover) lives a life from Hell. His mother isa domineering invalid. (Played by Jackie Burroughs as the most horrific mother since AnneRamsey in Throw Mama from the Train, she resembles nothing so much as NormanBates’ stuffed mother come to life.) His boss (R. Lee Ermey) is an abusive bully. But thenWillard befriends the white rat Socrates, and things begin to look up. Socrates brings more andmore friends into the …
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Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 10th, 2003

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Synopsis

Before Buffy, before Jesus Christ, there was Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter. Ahandsomely if inexpensively mounted period piece, this sees the dashing swordsman of the titlebattling vampires in the English countryside. In this instance, the vampire doesn’t suck blood,but youth. The plotting is very haphazard, and the action scenes leave something to be desired,but there are fun turns by the usual set of British character actors, and Caroline Munro lends herever-smould…
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Death Bed – The Bed That Eats

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 3rd, 2003

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Synopsis

In a cellar (all that remains of a great mansion) lurks a demonic bed. Anyone who lies on it will be eaten (and being eaten involves being surrounded by yellow foam and dragged down into yellow liquid limbo and dissolved). Trapped behind his own painting is the ghost of artist Aubrey Beardsley. He witnesses the bed’s depredations (and his narration explains the plot to us), but there is nothing he can do to stop the evil. That, more or less, is the plot. The 80 minutes meander along, and the…
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Halloween – 25th Anniversary Edition

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 15th, 2003

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Synopsis

In 1963, little Michael Meyers stabs his sister to death (the scene shown in a justly famouscontinuous POV shot). Fifteen years later, Michael escapes from the asylum and returns to hishome town of Haddonfield. On Halloween night, he stalks Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) andher friends, while being pursued himself by Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence). The first and stillthe best of modern masked slasher films, Halloween towers above its imitators. Stylish,smart, restra…
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Cronos

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 15th, 2003

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Synopsis

Hundreds of years ago, alchemist Fulcanelli created the Cronos device, a contraption thatlooks like a silver Faberge egg. This device conveys eternal life, but at a price, as a kindlyantiquarian (Federico Luppi, who also starred in The Devil’s Backbone) discovers. Hebecomes younger, but also monstrous, and develops a thirst for blood. He must also battleRon Perlman, thuggish henchman of a dying millionaire who also wants the device. Then there’sthe bond Luppi has wit…
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Mimic 3: Sentinel

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 12th, 2003

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Synopsis

A survivor of Strickland’s disease (the illness that led to the creation of the Judas breed ofgiant cockroaches in the first place), Karl Geary is extremely allergic, cannot be far from hisoxygen bottle, and is essentially of prisoner of his bedroom. From here he watches theneighbourhood through a telephoto lens, obsessively photographing. His mother (AmandaPlummer) is an oblivious flake, and his younger sister is well on her way to becoming a junkie.Gradually, Geary realiz…
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House That Dripped Blood, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 12th, 2003

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Synopsis

A movie star has disappeared, and a police inspector arrives in the small town where he wasstaying to investigate. He is informed that there is something very strange about the house wherethe star was living, and we then see the stories of what happened to the various tenants. In thefirst story, writer Denholm Elliott fears that a strangler in the novel he is working on has come tolife. Next, Peter Cushing visits a wax museum and sees a statue of Salome that bears an uncanny…
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Deranged

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 1st, 2003

Synopsis

JoBeth Williams plays radio host Dr. Rose. Turfed from her radio show, she moves fromsmall-town Eureka to LA (taking with her a mannequin with whom she has involvedconversations). She lands a new job at a small college, and starts making a name for herself.Unfortunately, she has no real qualifications, and is (as Williams twitchy performance makesclear from the opening seconds on) completely off her nut. When a skeptical student starts raisingquestions about her, Dr. Rose w…
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Watchers / Watchers II

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on September 30th, 2003

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Synopsis

The premise to both movies is pretty much the same: super-intelligent Labrador retrieverescapes from government lab and is pursued by evil Sasquatch/ape monster that kills anyone thedog comes near (the two are telepathically linked, you see). In the first movie, the dog hooksup with Corey Haim. In the second, with Marc Singer. The results are odd, rather like OldYeller meets Predator: Disney animal scenes mixed with eye-gougings. None of thisis particularly go…
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