Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 24th, 2010
"Pray for dawn."
Mark Young is a bit of a one-man band in the short list of films that he's done in his decade-long career. Southern Gothic is no exception. Mark Young is credited as: producer, director, writer, editor, chief cook and bottle-washer on the film. I have to say that I'm more often scared when I see that sort of thing than anything that ends up coming at me from the screen. Too many cooks may, indeed, spoil the broth, but only one cook tends to mean someone's going to end up eatin' out tonight. This was the first of these multi-tasking films I've seen from Young, and I have to say none of it was as bad as all that. I even caught myself enjoying the movie after a short while. The trick here is not to look at Southern Gothic so much as a horror film. It's pretty evident that Young absolutely did not. This is camp. It's the kind of dish you might expect served by Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi. That's how you'll need to approach the movie. If you're looking for something a little more serious or straight-out horror, move along, because there's nothing to see here. If you're a fan of camp horror, you just might be able to scrape a little entertainment out of this one.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 10th, 2010
Pulse:
Plenty of Japanese horror films have storylines that vary from the oblique to the opaque. Pulse is no exception, so forgive me if this synopsis is a bit confusing (or confused). An internet website offers visitors the chance to see actual ghosts. Viewing the footage seems to make one vulnerable to an actual visitation, and when someone encounters a ghost, that person withdraws from others, shunning all society, and becomes consumed by loneliness to the point of suicide or something even more bizarre. All of this is slowly being uncovered by two groups of friends, even as the plague of ghostly encounters spreads far and wide.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on April 30th, 2010
The review you are about to read is true. Nothing has been changed. These are the actual people who performed in this great movie and this is exactly the way it really happened. I truly believe this. Signed, Michael Durr also known as Kedrix. Trust me on this one, I couldn’t make up what I’m about to write for this review. If I were to brainstorm for the next twenty years, there would be absolutely nothing to lead me to this movie. (well except for the boobs).
(*warning* The following review might contain salty language, bad jokes and gushing about the female naked anatomy. The writer of this review bares no responsibility for this work and the director, Fred Olen Ray would have wanted it that way.)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 26th, 2010
The year is 2003. The War in Iraq is just underway, and its ripples are felt even in the small town of Port Gamble, Washington. Take, for instance, Frida (Janette Armand). Her father is Iranian, which is the same thing as Iraqi as far as everyone else is concerned, and furthermore her skin tone and ethnic background mean she is not a “real American” (to quote her numbskulled boyfriend) even though she was born in Port Gamble. Tom (Doug Fahl), meanwhile, has concerns less related to world affairs: he has returned to his home town, in the company of his boyfriend Lance (Cooper Hopkins), to come out to his mother, a prospect that fills him with dread. Then, just to complicate everybody's life, a zombie plague breaks out, bringing out the best and worst of everyone in town.
Zombies have been fodder for socio-political allegory all the way back to their first cinematic appearance (in their pre-flesh-eating days) in White Zombie (1932), where they were the exploited workers of Bela Lugosi's sugar cane mill. Director Kevin Hamedani and his co-writer Ramon Isao go into satirical overdrive with this effort. There is some very funny stuff here, along with plenty of over-the-top gore FX and likable protagonists. Unlike Dawn of the Dead and Shaun of the Dead, however, whose commentary emerges naturally from the story and characters, here the personalities and story have clearly been designed to fit the political points being made. Thus, though Frida, Tom and Lance are very engaging characters (if almost entirely defined by their ethnic or sexual minority identities), their non-zombified opponents are caricatures of conservatism, as hissable as they are stupid. Now, satire is, by its very nature, a savage art, and I'm all for both savagery and movies that aren't afraid to take a stand, but Hamedani and Isao run the risk of preaching to the choir here. With almost every line of dialogue slaved to the film's political points, we are entering the realm of the editorial cartoon. And though there's nothing wrong with that, it does mean that there isn't much to the film beyond those political points. Thus, one faction of the audience will simply have its views confirmed, while the other will be completely alienated, and it is doubtful that much thought will be provoked. As well, some of the gags are arguably a bit misjudged. The scene where Tom's mother eats her own eye owes its funny/nauseating vibe to Peter Jackson's Dead/Alive, and works well enough, but the moment where a little girl Frida is trying to help is splattered by a car is more problematic, depending on your tolerance for extreme splatstick. All that said, there's still plenty of sharp work from all concerned here.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on April 25th, 2010
The title monster of Irish myth terrorizes people in the middle of the US for no good reason and with no explanation as to why its there, how it came to be or anything else aside from visually demonstrating that it uses sound to make its victims hallucinate. A group of teens on spring break encounter it and every single one of them survives after befriending the misunderstood beast. Of course that's a lie...they die...but doesn't the nice plot sound so much more interesting? It does to me when you've seen countless films about teenagers being ripped apart in the woods.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 24th, 2010
"Two years ago my son was taken from me. Since then I've lost everything: my job, my marriage, even my life. But I came back, and the dead came with me."
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 21st, 2010
“Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But there is, unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not so brightly lit, a darkside.”
Not since the likes of Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits has there been a really good sci-fi/horror anthology until 1984’s Tales. Not to say that each episode was a winner. In fact, most were pretty weak and relatively lame, but when this show was good, it was very good. These tales weren’t any ordinary specter spectaculars, but were told by spectacular story writers, directors, and producers. Look at just this first season, and you’ll find some of the top names in the field involved in one way or another. You’ll see the likes of Stephen King, Tom Savini, George Romero, Robert Bloch, Frank De Palma, and Harlan Ellison. The tales often came with a twist, or at least a big finale in the end. Much like a train’s headlight in a long tunnel, you might have seen it coming from a mile away, but it’s hard to avoid the impact.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 15th, 2010
Nearly 10 years before Ben Stiller spent his first Night At The Museum with that eclectic cast of characters, The Relic brought us a much different kind of night at a museum. What comes to life here is anything but playful. There's nothing amusing about this nightmare in a museum. Peter Hyams might be more famous for several other action science fiction films, but none of his works before or since The Relic could claim to be quite so atmospheric. Together with the truly genius invention of creature creator extraordinaire Stan Winston, this is a movie that never quite took its earned spot in the tradition of effective horror or monster movies ... until now. For the first time in high definition thanks to this new Blu-ray release, I feel like I've seen The Relic for the first time. And, you know what? It's a pretty good film.
A cargo ship is found afloat in the middle of Lake Michigan shortly after a scientist has stowed aboard to prevent the delivery of a series of crates. The crates were the result of a Brazilian anthropology expedition for the Museum Of Natural History in Chicago. Now the ship appears deserted until Detective Vincent D'Agosta (Sizemore) boards her to investigate the disappearance of the crew and the bloody signs of a massacre throughout the ship. He makes a gruesome discovery. The crew was all mutilated by someone or something. D'Agosta believes this can only be the work of merciless drug cartel folks. That is, until a decapitation at the museum appears to have parallels to the attacks on the ship. His drug-smuggling theory will be put to the test in his search for the killer, apparently still trapped somewhere in the museum. The investigation is brought to a premature conclusion as city officials pressure him to allow a black tie fundraiser to go on that night. Anyone who's anyone will be there. He reluctantly agrees to green-light the affair, while he and his team attempt to find the killer and keep the patrons safe throughout the night.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 14th, 2010
"One … two… Freddy’s coming for you, three… four… better lock the door, five… six… grab your crucifix..."
Freddy might have been born in the mind of Wes Craven, but he grew and developed in the knife-wielding hands of Robert Englund. Granted, not all of these films are equal in quality, but the first was everything you could ask for in a horror/slasher film of the era. Freddy himself is by far the most colorful and animated of the slashers. His burned face, fedora, striped sweater, and knife-blade glove were all integral parts of the wise-cracking maniac.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 7th, 2010
When you first look at the title for this entry in After Dark's 4th annual 8 Films To Die For, you probably have summed up images of a dank and foreboding cemetery where unspeakable horrors rise from their resting places to torment the, albeit temporarily, living. This is definitely a little bit of a case of false advertising and the misleading use of a title. These Graves are sisters, Megan (Grant) and Abby (Murray), to be exact. They're the kind of sisters that do everything together. You know the type. They almost speak in a secret language and appear to be soul mates. But Megan is a bit more outgoing and has gotten herself a job in New York, far away from the sisters' home in Arizona. Abby is a bit more introverted and is having a hard time dealing with the inevitable loss of her sister. So the two decide to have one more blast together. It's time for a road trip to visit the world's largest thermometer. Oh boy. Any horror fan worth his remote knows that the girls are likely not going to make it to see the big thermometer, and they'd be correct. They get sidetracked in a small town called Unity where they are encouraged to visit the abandoned gold mine called Skull City Mine.
Something very strange lives at the mine, and the town's folk have been feeding it tourists. The creature or entity is a dirt cloud that devours the hapless victim's soul. Unfortunately, the creature isn't capable of killing its prey, so the townsfolk have to pitch in and commit a little murder in order to satiate the beast. The Graves sisters are lambs being led to the slaughter. Of course, these two girls just wouldn't be enough slaughter fodder for the full running time of a respectable movie, so the filmmakers have populated the mine with other lovely co-eds to provide a bevy of interesting kills to amp up the movie's gore meter. Fortunately for the girls, the creature is willing to eat anybody, even its own followers if they should happen to find themselves dead. And the Graves sisters are all too happy to help some of them find their way to that cooperative condition.