Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 14th, 2010
Reading the synopsis on the back of the dvd case for Hard Ride to Hell, I was immediately struck by its similarity to the 1975 film Race With The Devil. A group of vacationers in an RV accidentally witness a satanic ritual out in the boonies and, after inevitably being spotted doing so, are set upon by the Satanists and must fight for their lives in a cross-country chase. As it turns out, the similarities are pretty much all cosmetic.
Hard Ride to Hell, after a brief prologue featuring some sinister cowboys and a pregnant, flesh-chomping madwoman, moves to the present where we are introduced to our heroes. Here is where the similarities to Race With The Devil begin to crumble. The group is indeed traveling in an RV but, for starters, instead of Peter Fonda and Warren Oates, we are stuck with guys in frat-boy haircuts who call each other “dude”. There are also two women and a black guy. The male cast members are, through most of the film, stiff and unconvincing, but the women are fairly strong. One of them, Katherine Isabelle from Ginger Snaps, actually brings some life into the picture when she’s onscreen. The only other standout in the cast is the guy who gets his name above the title, Miguel Ferrer. Even though he’s phoning it in on this one, he is still a treat to watch as the leader of the bad guys.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 25th, 2010
"Evil Is Among Us."
You've got to love a horror film directed and written by a guy named Kevorkian. Johnny Kevorkian is a young director still finding his chops with only a handful of credits to his name thus far. The young talent does have vision, and doesn't go for the obvious. While the film does tend to be a bit heavy on the British sensibilities, you can expect such a thing from an independent low-budget horror film from England. The Disappeared is absolutely derivative of at least 20 films I've seen recently and appears to be substantially influenced by the Asian ghost invasion. Still, there is a style here that might not be terribly original, but it is pretty dang effective, at least on this movie.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 24th, 2010
"Pray for dawn."
Mark Young is a bit of a one-man band in the short list of films that he's done in his decade-long career. Southern Gothic is no exception. Mark Young is credited as: producer, director, writer, editor, chief cook and bottle-washer on the film. I have to say that I'm more often scared when I see that sort of thing than anything that ends up coming at me from the screen. Too many cooks may, indeed, spoil the broth, but only one cook tends to mean someone's going to end up eatin' out tonight. This was the first of these multi-tasking films I've seen from Young, and I have to say none of it was as bad as all that. I even caught myself enjoying the movie after a short while. The trick here is not to look at Southern Gothic so much as a horror film. It's pretty evident that Young absolutely did not. This is camp. It's the kind of dish you might expect served by Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi. That's how you'll need to approach the movie. If you're looking for something a little more serious or straight-out horror, move along, because there's nothing to see here. If you're a fan of camp horror, you just might be able to scrape a little entertainment out of this one.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 10th, 2010
Pulse:
Plenty of Japanese horror films have storylines that vary from the oblique to the opaque. Pulse is no exception, so forgive me if this synopsis is a bit confusing (or confused). An internet website offers visitors the chance to see actual ghosts. Viewing the footage seems to make one vulnerable to an actual visitation, and when someone encounters a ghost, that person withdraws from others, shunning all society, and becomes consumed by loneliness to the point of suicide or something even more bizarre. All of this is slowly being uncovered by two groups of friends, even as the plague of ghostly encounters spreads far and wide.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on April 30th, 2010
The review you are about to read is true. Nothing has been changed. These are the actual people who performed in this great movie and this is exactly the way it really happened. I truly believe this. Signed, Michael Durr also known as Kedrix. Trust me on this one, I couldn’t make up what I’m about to write for this review. If I were to brainstorm for the next twenty years, there would be absolutely nothing to lead me to this movie. (well except for the boobs).
(*warning* The following review might contain salty language, bad jokes and gushing about the female naked anatomy. The writer of this review bares no responsibility for this work and the director, Fred Olen Ray would have wanted it that way.)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 26th, 2010
The year is 2003. The War in Iraq is just underway, and its ripples are felt even in the small town of Port Gamble, Washington. Take, for instance, Frida (Janette Armand). Her father is Iranian, which is the same thing as Iraqi as far as everyone else is concerned, and furthermore her skin tone and ethnic background mean she is not a “real American” (to quote her numbskulled boyfriend) even though she was born in Port Gamble. Tom (Doug Fahl), meanwhile, has concerns less related to world affairs: he has returned to his home town, in the company of his boyfriend Lance (Cooper Hopkins), to come out to his mother, a prospect that fills him with dread. Then, just to complicate everybody's life, a zombie plague breaks out, bringing out the best and worst of everyone in town.
Zombies have been fodder for socio-political allegory all the way back to their first cinematic appearance (in their pre-flesh-eating days) in White Zombie (1932), where they were the exploited workers of Bela Lugosi's sugar cane mill. Director Kevin Hamedani and his co-writer Ramon Isao go into satirical overdrive with this effort. There is some very funny stuff here, along with plenty of over-the-top gore FX and likable protagonists. Unlike Dawn of the Dead and Shaun of the Dead, however, whose commentary emerges naturally from the story and characters, here the personalities and story have clearly been designed to fit the political points being made. Thus, though Frida, Tom and Lance are very engaging characters (if almost entirely defined by their ethnic or sexual minority identities), their non-zombified opponents are caricatures of conservatism, as hissable as they are stupid. Now, satire is, by its very nature, a savage art, and I'm all for both savagery and movies that aren't afraid to take a stand, but Hamedani and Isao run the risk of preaching to the choir here. With almost every line of dialogue slaved to the film's political points, we are entering the realm of the editorial cartoon. And though there's nothing wrong with that, it does mean that there isn't much to the film beyond those political points. Thus, one faction of the audience will simply have its views confirmed, while the other will be completely alienated, and it is doubtful that much thought will be provoked. As well, some of the gags are arguably a bit misjudged. The scene where Tom's mother eats her own eye owes its funny/nauseating vibe to Peter Jackson's Dead/Alive, and works well enough, but the moment where a little girl Frida is trying to help is splattered by a car is more problematic, depending on your tolerance for extreme splatstick. All that said, there's still plenty of sharp work from all concerned here.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on April 25th, 2010
The title monster of Irish myth terrorizes people in the middle of the US for no good reason and with no explanation as to why its there, how it came to be or anything else aside from visually demonstrating that it uses sound to make its victims hallucinate. A group of teens on spring break encounter it and every single one of them survives after befriending the misunderstood beast. Of course that's a lie...they die...but doesn't the nice plot sound so much more interesting? It does to me when you've seen countless films about teenagers being ripped apart in the woods.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 24th, 2010
"Two years ago my son was taken from me. Since then I've lost everything: my job, my marriage, even my life. But I came back, and the dead came with me."
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 21st, 2010
“Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But there is, unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not so brightly lit, a darkside.”
Not since the likes of Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits has there been a really good sci-fi/horror anthology until 1984’s Tales. Not to say that each episode was a winner. In fact, most were pretty weak and relatively lame, but when this show was good, it was very good. These tales weren’t any ordinary specter spectaculars, but were told by spectacular story writers, directors, and producers. Look at just this first season, and you’ll find some of the top names in the field involved in one way or another. You’ll see the likes of Stephen King, Tom Savini, George Romero, Robert Bloch, Frank De Palma, and Harlan Ellison. The tales often came with a twist, or at least a big finale in the end. Much like a train’s headlight in a long tunnel, you might have seen it coming from a mile away, but it’s hard to avoid the impact.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 15th, 2010
Nearly 10 years before Ben Stiller spent his first Night At The Museum with that eclectic cast of characters, The Relic brought us a much different kind of night at a museum. What comes to life here is anything but playful. There's nothing amusing about this nightmare in a museum. Peter Hyams might be more famous for several other action science fiction films, but none of his works before or since The Relic could claim to be quite so atmospheric. Together with the truly genius invention of creature creator extraordinaire Stan Winston, this is a movie that never quite took its earned spot in the tradition of effective horror or monster movies ... until now. For the first time in high definition thanks to this new Blu-ray release, I feel like I've seen The Relic for the first time. And, you know what? It's a pretty good film.
A cargo ship is found afloat in the middle of Lake Michigan shortly after a scientist has stowed aboard to prevent the delivery of a series of crates. The crates were the result of a Brazilian anthropology expedition for the Museum Of Natural History in Chicago. Now the ship appears deserted until Detective Vincent D'Agosta (Sizemore) boards her to investigate the disappearance of the crew and the bloody signs of a massacre throughout the ship. He makes a gruesome discovery. The crew was all mutilated by someone or something. D'Agosta believes this can only be the work of merciless drug cartel folks. That is, until a decapitation at the museum appears to have parallels to the attacks on the ship. His drug-smuggling theory will be put to the test in his search for the killer, apparently still trapped somewhere in the museum. The investigation is brought to a premature conclusion as city officials pressure him to allow a black tie fundraiser to go on that night. Anyone who's anyone will be there. He reluctantly agrees to green-light the affair, while he and his team attempt to find the killer and keep the patrons safe throughout the night.