Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 17th, 2009
“You may only see it once but that will be enough.”
That was the marketing slogan for the first Friday The 13th film in 1980. Apparently they couldn’t have been more wrong, because most of us have seen the film countless times, and no, it was never enough. The franchise would thrive with over 10 sequels or affiliated films, taking us right up to the present remake/reboot of that very first outing at Camp Crystal Lake. No, my friends, once was never going to be enough.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 17th, 2009
Back in 1998 there was a very promising television series on the Fox Network. Unfortunately, the network never gave it a fighting chance, and it was soon gone as quickly as it had appeared. It was called Brimstone. The idea was that a dead cop (Horton) went to Hell for killing his wife’s rapists. He gets a second chance when the Devil (Glover) offers him his life back if he would become Hell’s bounty hunter. He would capture souls who had escaped from Hell. I loved the show and even participated in its attempts to be reprieved. I never did get to see the return of Brimstone, but the concept would return in the lighter Reaper. Reaper is like Buffy The Vampire Slayer meets Kids In The Hall.
Sam Oliver (Harrison) is a young guy who works at The Work Bench with many of his high school friends. The Bench is basically a Home Depot clone. One day the Devil (Wise) shows up in his car. It appears that his parents sold Sam’s soul to him, and now that he’s turned 21 it’s time to collect. Sam’s job is now to collect and returned escaped souls back to Hell. For each job he’s given a vessel that is, in some way, appropriate to the soul he’s tracking. The vessel can be a vacuum cleaner or an 8-track tape. Failure is not an option, as the Devil doesn’t take rejection lightly. To help him in his tasks he recruits his two best friends and co-workers. Sock (Labine) looks and acts a lot like Jack Black. He has crazy pointed hair and is basically a slacker. He’s always looking for the easy way out or the scam that will pay off for him, regardless of who gets hurt. He really does have a good heart and comes through just when Sam needs him to come through. Ben (Gonzales) is always coming up with crazy ideas like a self sucking straw. He’s hungry for attention and lacks in self confidence. He’s somewhat of the team tech guy. Sam is in love with Andi (Paregrym) who’s not sure if she can take the whole evil thing. She’ll help out in a pinch, and they have an on again, off again relationship.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 23rd, 2009
Some weeks back, I wrote about Splinter, and opined that director Toby Wilkins showed real skill. I also expressed worry over the fact that this follow-up was this, the third entry in a franchise that began with a remake in the first place. So here we are. Was I right to worry? Sadly, yes.
The Grudge 3 picks up in the aftermath of its predecessor, with the death of the last survivor of that film's massacre. The setting remains the same Chicago apartment building where evil ghosts Kayako and Toshio in the last thrilling episode (apparently have grown bored with Tokyo). The focus now is on the caretaker and his two sisters, the younger of the two being chronically ill. Meanwhile, Kayako's sister arrives in town, determined to put an end to the curse.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 12th, 2009
“When someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage, a curse is born. It never forgives. It never forgets. The curse gathers in that place of death. Those who encounter it will be consumed by its fury.”
Here we go again with the American remake of the Asian classic. To be fair, The Grudge was one of the first after the great success of The Ring. There are some significant differences between this effort and the countless remakes we’ve encountered over the last decade or so. This film retained its Japanese location, which does provide for a more exotic atmosphere. The location shoots are actually pretty well done. The film was also directed by the same man who directed the Asian original, Takashi Shimizu. He’s become quite prolific in the genre, having now directed both versions and the sequels to both versions. The Grudge also doesn’t figure into the technology aspect that many of these Asian ghost stories appear to populate. The most high tech haunt here is a stainless steel bathtub. I bet that gets cold in the winter. Sarah Michelle Gellar brings in the core American audience thirsting for more Buffy. But, if you’re turning on to this film to see Buffy kick some supernatural rear, you’re better off with the Scooby Doo films. And that’s bad.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 1st, 2009
The Uninvited is yet another in a long string of Asian films that are translated and retooled for American audiences. It’s been a rather strong and long running trend that was kicked off with the wildly successful The Ring, from the Asian classic, Ringu. But, for every effective spooky thriller that comes out of this Asian pipeline, there appear to be a dozen or more complete failures. Some American directors think that all they need to do is throw fast moving creepy ghosts at us and often have them inhabit some modern electronic device. Presto! You have a horror movie for the purposes of generated cash. I’m happy to report that The Uninvited is a fresh approach that relies on almost none of these tired conventions to work. There is no morality tale about our modern conveniences here. No ghosts haunt cell phones, beepers, computers, video games, DVD’s, or even toaster ovens. The appearance of spectral creatures is actually quite limited and will disappoint the viewer who is there for the quick scare moments. This film uses the technique sparingly, and ultimately more effectively. The truth is that The Uninvited is really not so much a ghost story as a thriller in the vein of The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. It gives us one of those rare endings that you won’t easily see coming at all. Most importantly, this movie completely shatters the mold of these Asian remakes by making it all about the characters; the human characters, that is. Based on the Korean film that roughly translates to Tale Of Two Sisters, this is a refreshing take on a stale theme.
Anna (Browning) is just getting out of a mental hospital. She’s been there for some time, following the death of her mother in a terrible house fire. She had been haunted by nightmares of that tragic night. Her doctors now think she will be able to cope and return home. Her father, Steven (Strathairn) is hopeful about bringing her home. There she is confronted by a harsh reality. Her mother had been infirm at the time of the fire. Now Anna has discovered that her mother’s former nurse, the very young Rachel (Banks) has moved into the house as her father’s lover and future wife. She notices that in her absence, her mother’s presence has been erased from the home as Rachel has redecorated and removed any connections to her dead mother. She takes comfort only in the company of her sister, Alex (Kebbel) who also hates the woman they see as an intruder in their home. Anna begins to have visions that her dead mother is warning her about Rachel and suspects the fire was not an accident. The sisters investigate, only to find that Rachel’s name is not a real one. Anna is convinced that Rachel killed her mother and will now do the same to her and her sister. When a local boy who claims to have information about the night Anna’s mother died turns up dead himself, Anna decides to get help. But no one appears interested in her story, and now Rachel knows she’s on to her. The film ends in a sort of typical cat and mouse game that ends up not being so typical after all.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 21st, 2009
So Toby Wilkins will be helming The Grudge 3. That's a bit of a shame. Not because I think he's the wrong man for the project. Rather, it's the wrong project for the man. Or, less glibly but more precisely, he is showing real promise as a filmmaker, and it would be a shame to see more talent squandered on a franchise that should definitely be put out to pasture. I base this evaluation on the evidence presented in Splinter, a nifty little creature flick .
The film begins with the collision of seriously two very different couples. Seth and Polly (Paulo Costanzo and Jill Wagner) are young urbanites on a camping trip. He's working on a PhD in biology, which becomes important later. Meanwhile, Dennis and Lacey (Shea Whigham and Rachel Kerbs) are on the run (he's an escaped con, and she's his twitchy, detoxing girlfriend). The latter two carjack the former, but the situation becomes much more complicated when they stop at an isolated gas station (is there any other kind in horror movies?) and are attacked by the titular creature.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 13th, 2009
Try this plot on for size: Gordo, an ape owned by carnival sideshow barker the Great Lampini (Paul Richichi), gets loose and rampages about Long Island, raping and killing and stealing cars (!). Meanwhile, the moronic detective in charge of the murder case dismisses the idea that an ape is the culprit, and casts his racist eye on the unfortunate Duane Jones (Christopher Hoskins, whose character is named after Night of the Living Dead's lead).
Though made in 1997, this shot-on-super-8 effort does its level best to come across as the Lost 70s Grindhouse Flick, and it has to be said that it does a pretty credible job in capturing that trash aesthetic. There is also wit on display, most prominently in Lampini's deliberately overwrought and baroque dialogue. The film does, though, take its time getting to the rampage: nearly half its 77-minute running time has elapsed before the attacks begin. That first thirty minutes consists largely of people arguing, which has varying entertainment value. The gore scenes have a charming DIY feel, but there is a nastiness to the attacks on women that, as with Blitzkrieg: Escape from Stalag 69 (director/co-writer Keith Crocker's other recently released effort), is in some ways more off-putting than those of its inspirations, given how much of the rest of the film works as a goofy comedy.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 10th, 2009
We all knew it had to happen eventually. With the success of the “torture porn” films like the Hostel and Saw series, we had to expect that there would be some lightweight twists and turns on the thriving genre. Shuttle is one of those attempts. It gingerly treads on the now familiar ground of the aforementioned films, but each time it makes the obvious moves in that direction, it pulls back and stalls. Edward Anderson is the writer and director of this mess. It was first attempt at either, and it shows, very badly. He couldn’t decide if he was making a traditional slasher film or one of the more trendy “torture porn” exorcises. So, he ends up doing neither effectively.
The setup was pretty much what we’ve already seen a hundred times. Two young women are on their way home from a Mexican vacation. It hasn’t been going all that well, and the plane ride back to the States was bumpy and plagued by horrible weather. Mel (List) is apparently engaged, and Jules (Goodman) is apparently her best friend. It’s late, and they just want to get home. They opt to accept a ride from a shuttle driver (Curran), who offers to take them for half price, instead of accepting a ride from two guys they just met. They figure the shuttle would be safer. But, of course, if that were true we couldn’t have 106 minutes of movie. By the time this hell ride is over you’re gonna wish they’d just taken the offered ride. The girls would be home safely in their beds, or perhaps the guys’ beds, and your life would now be 100 minutes or so longer to do some of those things you’ve promised yourself needed to be done.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 10th, 2009
Donkey Punch was partially funded by the British Lottery. That means you might have actually lost twice. Once if you bought a losing ticket, and again if you watched this movie made possible by your gambling itch. Mama always said nothing good comes out of gambling. Turns out she was right. If this is what the British Lottery Authority is doing with the money, you’re better off going to a bookie. At least Mario “The Shark” Cabliario will spend the money on something worthwhile, like women and booze.
The movie begins with three young women on a tropical vacation. They meet three guys at a bar, who claim to have a yacht parked (okay docked) nearby. The dudes wanna know if the chicks wanna party. They say definitely not. Are you kidding? Of course, they say yes. Turns out these fine upstanding lads crew a yacht for some rich guy who is out of town. That leaves them alone with the toys. Kind of reminds me of the Jimmy Buffet song, Gypsies In The Palace. After a few drinks and a few drugs, the trio and one of the guys’ brother head below to make out. If these scenes get tiresome, bring a book to your theater. The sex scene rambles on for over 20 minutes. Finally, the lame brother decides to take a turn with one of the girls. He’s not too bright. He decides to try a stunt his brother told him about called a donkey punch. Apparently it’s this sexual myth. While having sex with a chick you smack her so hard upside the head that it breaks her neck. Why, I have no idea, but the kid tries it and kills the girl. Now everyone panics. The guys, for the most part, want to dump the girl in the ocean and claim she got so drunk and high that she fell overboard. The girls, understandably, aren’t too keen on that idea. At first they don’t even know how it happened, and assume she overdosed or something. Unfortunately, one of the guys was videotaping the entire orgy and caught the donkey punch on tape. The next half hour is a battle between the factions to gain possession of the tape.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 2nd, 2009
A heavily armed group descends on a small-town supermarket. They gun down a customer, and announce that they are robbing the place. More killings ensue, but it soon becomes clear that this is no ordinary robbery. A strange form of triage is taking place that determines who is shot and who is allowed to live. Before long, only a handful of employees and customers remain, and it becomes clear that the attackers are not thieves at all, but in fact humanity's last hope against an insidious alien invasion.
The title is utterly generic. It might as well be “Sci-Fi Horror Thriller.” And sure, the flick has its share of scenes of people creeping around nondescript interiors in the dark. But while one would be understandably tempted, at first glance, to dismiss Alien Raiders as yet another bit of filler for the Sci-Fi Channel (oops, sorry, that should be SyFy Channel) and the like, it is, on the contrary, a most engaging and reasonably suspenseful exercise. The monster effects are (wisely) kept in the shadows, making a virtue out of low-budget necessity, and the performances and writing are both sharp, making a very familiar scenario fresh again. The conclusion is telegraphed a little clumsily, but in the end, that's a minor problem. There's a real aura of desperation surround the characters, and one can't help but root form them.