Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 10th, 2009
Donkey Punch was partially funded by the British Lottery. That means you might have actually lost twice. Once if you bought a losing ticket, and again if you watched this movie made possible by your gambling itch. Mama always said nothing good comes out of gambling. Turns out she was right. If this is what the British Lottery Authority is doing with the money, you’re better off going to a bookie. At least Mario “The Shark” Cabliario will spend the money on something worthwhile, like women and booze.
The movie begins with three young women on a tropical vacation. They meet three guys at a bar, who claim to have a yacht parked (okay docked) nearby. The dudes wanna know if the chicks wanna party. They say definitely not. Are you kidding? Of course, they say yes. Turns out these fine upstanding lads crew a yacht for some rich guy who is out of town. That leaves them alone with the toys. Kind of reminds me of the Jimmy Buffet song, Gypsies In The Palace. After a few drinks and a few drugs, the trio and one of the guys’ brother head below to make out. If these scenes get tiresome, bring a book to your theater. The sex scene rambles on for over 20 minutes. Finally, the lame brother decides to take a turn with one of the girls. He’s not too bright. He decides to try a stunt his brother told him about called a donkey punch. Apparently it’s this sexual myth. While having sex with a chick you smack her so hard upside the head that it breaks her neck. Why, I have no idea, but the kid tries it and kills the girl. Now everyone panics. The guys, for the most part, want to dump the girl in the ocean and claim she got so drunk and high that she fell overboard. The girls, understandably, aren’t too keen on that idea. At first they don’t even know how it happened, and assume she overdosed or something. Unfortunately, one of the guys was videotaping the entire orgy and caught the donkey punch on tape. The next half hour is a battle between the factions to gain possession of the tape.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 2nd, 2009
A heavily armed group descends on a small-town supermarket. They gun down a customer, and announce that they are robbing the place. More killings ensue, but it soon becomes clear that this is no ordinary robbery. A strange form of triage is taking place that determines who is shot and who is allowed to live. Before long, only a handful of employees and customers remain, and it becomes clear that the attackers are not thieves at all, but in fact humanity's last hope against an insidious alien invasion.
The title is utterly generic. It might as well be “Sci-Fi Horror Thriller.” And sure, the flick has its share of scenes of people creeping around nondescript interiors in the dark. But while one would be understandably tempted, at first glance, to dismiss Alien Raiders as yet another bit of filler for the Sci-Fi Channel (oops, sorry, that should be SyFy Channel) and the like, it is, on the contrary, a most engaging and reasonably suspenseful exercise. The monster effects are (wisely) kept in the shadows, making a virtue out of low-budget necessity, and the performances and writing are both sharp, making a very familiar scenario fresh again. The conclusion is telegraphed a little clumsily, but in the end, that's a minor problem. There's a real aura of desperation surround the characters, and one can't help but root form them.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 1st, 2009
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 27th, 2009
Frankly, if you need any information beyond the title of this release, then it probably isn't for you. It's The Sinful Dwarf, man! But if you really must know more, be it on your head. Mind-bogglingly stupid and broke newlyweds Mary and Peter (Anne Sparrow and Tony Eades, actors of an ineptitude that passeth all understanding) check in to the boarding house of retired (and scarred) burlesque performer Lila Lash (Clara Keller) her son Olaf (children's show host Torben Bille), the titular sinful dwarf. Mary hears noises in the attic, but Peter won't listen to her. He should, as Lila and Olaf keep a harem of women up there as prostitutes, ensuring their submission through forced injections of heroin. Now they have their sights set on Mary...
Whatever you fear or hope about a film with this title, the reality will likely exceed your imagination. “Exploitation†is almost too tame a word to describe the spectacles here, whether we're talking about incessant close-ups of Bille's sweaty, greasy, drooling, leering face, or Keller's disturbing Marlene Dietrich impersonation. If you don't need a shower after watching this, you aren't human. In other words, it's sublime.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 25th, 2009
Suspense began life as a very successful radio show on the CBS Radio Network. It premiered in 1942 and lasted just over 20 years on the nation’s airwaves. When television began to make its own waves on the air in the late 1940’s, naturally many of those first shows would be programs that had already shown strong appeal to the radio audiences. Shows like Gunsmoke had been staples on the radio for years and would be a nice way to entice the first television crowds to the new medium. Suspense was one of those shows. It first broadcast in 1949 and was broadcast live from a studio playhouse in New York City. The anthology series presented stories that featured some kind of a horror or thriller theme. Public domain stories were great fodder for the series, and it certainly brought together some of the big names of that genre to the broadcasts. Names like Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Peter Lorre, Nina Foch, and John Carradine would give the show instant credibility. But, the episodes were not limited to the horror field. Crime dramas that involved murders under mysterious circumstances were another favorite staple of the series. Because it was aired live there were no taped copies to be used as reruns, so that each episode was intended as a single broadcast event. For reference purposes a kinescope recording was made, but not very well preserved. These were the days when the networks were just starting, and they didn’t reach a majority of the nation yet. These simple recordings were intended so that the episodes could air in the towns and cities where the networks had not yet penetrated, a whopping 67% of the nation in 1949. It would go on to become one of television’s first hit shows and lasted 15 years. Surprisingly, the radio version would continue for almost another decade after the television series left the airwaves.
These kinescope recordings were uncovered in 2007. Since then they have been released in various sets and collections. 90 episodes in all have been found and somewhat restored. This collection 3 offers the last 30 of those 90 episodes. They feature the likes of Boris Karloff, Eddie Albert, Walter Matthau, Pat Hingle, Lloyd Bridges, Arlene Francis, Jack Warden, Jackie Cooper, James Whitmore, Vic Morrow, George Reeves, and Richard Coogan. The episodes span the entire run from 1949 – 1954, although one episode lists an airdate of 1958. I could find no record of that episode airing at all.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by Archive Authors on March 12th, 2009
Posted by Ken Spivey
In the film “Dark Reel,” we are treated to an adventure. In the days of Prohibition, a fledgling filmmaker gave a promising ingenue a chance at celluloid immortality. This shot at fame sadly cost the young actress her life. Years later, the curse of this murder would haunt the movie set and crew of the production of the “B” movie, “The Pirate Wench.” Meanwhile, chubby and terminally apathetic Adam Waltz (played by “Terminator 2's” Edward Fulong) won a walk-on role in the campy pirate film. He quickly develops a passionate relationship with the female lead, Cassie Blue (Tiffany Shepis), much to the chagrin and dismay of the director and rival actors. After Waltz is connected to a possible murder on the set, the film's producer decides to increase the perpetually indifferent contest winner's role from extra to co-star. Afterwards, the on-set murders continue, a ghost makes a cameo, then we find out who the killer really is. All of these amazing events and more make up the breathtakingly horrible, yet wonderful, movie that is “Dark Reel.”
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 11th, 2009
The international horror market is becoming quite the money maker. It started with the Asian Invasion. We started seeing American remakes of these mostly Japanese or Korean ghost stories. They usually had a common thread that featured some type of technology. It started with Ring, the American version of Ringu. Here it’s a videotape that demands to be reproduced or you’re dead in 7 days. Eventually we’ve seen films where ghosts inhabit everything from computers to video games to cell phones and digital cameras. It seems the dead just can’t let go of their hi-tech toys. If you want to go ghost hunting today, stay away from the creepy mansions and ancient cemeteries. I’d try Best Buy. Those guys must have a hell of a ghost problem. Who you gonna call?
The latest country to get in on the fad is Austria. Dead In 3 Days is an Austrian, German language film, which hasn’t been remade for American audiences. Instead the film, originally titled, In 3 Tagen bist du tot, provides an English dub.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 27th, 2009
I get worried when I see box art make claims like they have on the recent release of Dorothy Mills. It claims that this film is a contemporary take on The Exorcist. The problem is that we don’t really need a contemporary take on that classic film. It’s a bit pretentious and arrogant to think that this low budget affair can come close to reproducing what that film did back in the 1970’s. Why can’t the folks who make these kinds of films allow the film to stand on its own and aspire to something unique and exciting for its own merits? Fortunately the box art is just marketing hype, probably written by some advertisement executive who never actually even saw the film. This isn’t The Exorcist, nor does it actually try to be. Truth be told, the film doesn’t play out like your normal run of the mill possession films at all. It has a rather clever angle that might be more Sybil than Exorcist.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 25th, 2009
“They’re not leaving till they get dessert.”
Director John Gulager might be the son of famed cult B movie star Clu Gulager, but that’s not how he broke into the business. He was a Project Greenlight winner. Project Greenlight is a competition for up and coming directors. They compete in a reality show style setting for the opportunity to direct a major release film. Now, I didn’t say it was a big budget film, but it does get backed and released by a major studio. When John Gulager won, his reward film was the original Feast. The film did well enough that now a couple of years later we’re on the third installment of what has become a somewhat cult hit franchise. Nothing has changed in this third film; in fact, it could be argued that the three films could be cut together into one long epic piece and it would work just as well.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 20th, 2009
“Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But, there is, unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real but not so brightly lit, a darkside.”
I have been waiting a long time for this release. Tales From The Darkside. Not since the likes of Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits has there been a really good sci-fi/horror anthology until 1984’s Tales. Not to say that each episode was a winner. In fact, most were pretty weak and relatively lame, but when this show was good, it was very good. These tales weren’t any ordinary specter spectaculars, but were told by spectacular story writers, directors, and producers. Look at just this first season and you’ll find some of the top names in the field involved in one way or another. You’ll see the likes of: Stephen King, Tom Savini, George Romero, Robert Bloch, Frank De Palma, and Harlan Ellison. The tales often came with a twist or at least a big finale in the end. Much like a train’s headlight in a long tunnel; you might have seen it coming from a mile away, but it’s hard to avoid the impact.
![Donkey Punch [Unrated] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/donkey-punch-unrated-large.jpg)
