Anchor Bay

In 1970 the British duo of Doctor Who's Terry Nation and The Avengers' Robert Fuest collaborated on a British film called And Soon The Darkness. The film stared then-popular Pamela Franklin. It wasn't a huge success by any standards. It's practically unheard of here in the States. But, there was something special about the little film. It developed one of those classic cult followings over the years and eventually gained the notice of people like Marcos Efron. With the popular trend of remaking pretty much every horror film ever made, it's no surprise that someone decided to tackle this lesser-known movie.

Stephanie (Heard) and Ellie (Yustman) were part of a South American bike tour. Somewhere along the way they got bored with the travelogue version of the tour and decided to sneak away and explore the rural country on their own. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. You've seen this movie before. But this one doesn't immediately go where you expect it to go. The girls spend a night partying at a local club. Ellie is a bit of a wild party girl and makes a huge show of herself at the club. Her antics culminate with a rather droll display of touching herself to the jukebox music. Stephanie is the more tame girl who had just caught her boyfriend cheating; there are indications that he cheated with Ellie, but I never was completely clear on that one. That night Ellie is stalked by a horny guy from the club but saved by Michael (Urban) who has the room next door. The next day they miss the only bus. So they head out to what was once a popular beach resort, even though they are ominously warned that it is desolate and dangerous now. Plus there are all of those missing-persons flyers. Of course, they decide to go anyway. There they have a fight about Stephanie's ex and Stephanie bikes away in anger. Once she calms down, she tries to hook back up with Ellie only to find she's disappeared and dropped her phone on the beach. She can't convince the local sheriff Calvo (Vianco) that she met with foul play. The dirty-dancing pictures on her cell phone don't help to convince anyone she isn't off on some wild ride somewhere.

Written by Dave Younger

Set in 1945 Germany, WWII is winding down, and The Japanese have just surrendered.  A bunch of American officers have commandeered a castle outside of Frankfurt, Germany, and the discovery of a wine stash leads Colonel Jack Durant (Billy Zane) to thinking:  What else could Princess Sophie have hidden before she fled?  Jack is first seen flirting with Lt. Kathleen Nash (Lyne Renee), but she’s not buying. Then they discover a mother lode of jewels, enough to make them rich for the rest of their lives, and suddenly she’s hooked.  Is it love, or money?  There’s no time to wonder as many other, more vexing problems crop up: Princess Sophie discovers the theft of her jewels, a military investigation ensues, and how do they get the jewels to New York and fence them?

The axiom in Hollywood these days is that more is better. Every year we get inundated with blockbuster films sporting $200 million budgets, groundbreaking f/x, epic journeys and casts of thousands. Enter first-time director J. Blakeson and his intimate and quite claustrophobic thriller, The Disappearance Of Alice Creed. Right from the start we know that we're in for something completely different. There are no opening credits of any kind. There isn't even a title screen. We don't get that until about 90 or so minutes later when the film is over. In between you will experience the leanest, meanest little movie you likely have ever seen.

Two hoods, Danny (Compston) and Vic (Marsan), are preparing meticulously for their big crime. They kidnap Alice Creed (Arterton) and tie her to a bed with a blindfold and ball gag. Everything is planned down to the most minute detail. It all seems to be going perfectly. But, like all so-called perfect crimes, there are going to be some hitches in this one.

When I saw the title for this movie my immediate thoughts went to that old Neil Diamond song of the same name. I don't know why, but I absolutely expected to hear it at some point in the film. So I actually found myself smiling a bit when the first guitar chords for the song began during the opening credits. I was a little disappointed to hear the song, but performed by the Man In Black, Johnny Cash. Not that I dislike Johnny. I just was expected something else. You know the feeling. Did you ever pick up someone else's drink by mistake and sip it, expecting it to be yours? It doesn't matter how much you might actually like what that someone was drinking. It completely throws you and tastes bad for a split second. Well, that's what happened with Solitary Man, the song and the film.

You see, the box art and studio buzz calls this film a sophisticated comedy. It's neither. It's actually quite good for what it is, but the studio's misrepresentation means that I was ready for something entirely different than what I got. That makes it so much harder to give a film a chance. I was all set to laugh. Instead I got a very moody and often dark character study. It took me a bit of a readjustment to finally begin to appreciate the movie for what it was. Michael Douglas can still deliver a solid character study. Here he takes a character that's almost impossible to like, and makes you enjoy it all the way.

You say you want an old-school slasher film like they did it back in the 70's and 80's? How would it sound if we gathered up Freddy, Candyman, and Jason and put them all in the same movie? Would that get your attention? Now that I have your attention, let's talk about Hatchet, a little quality slasher just like your uncles Craven, Cunningham, and Carpenter used to make. Okay, I exaggerated about that Freddy, Candyman, and Jason bit. You won't really find any of them in Hatchet. You will find their alter-egos Robert Englund and Tony Todd in amusing cameos, while Jason's best man plays Victor Cowley, the main attraction in this sweet throwback to classic slasher films.

"That's right. There is the home of a real famous Louisiana legend, Victor Crowley, hatchetface. Now legend is that he was a deformed man whose own father went nuts and whacked him in the face with a hatchet one night, probably on account he was so ugly or something. Anyway, he died. So, the story goes that if you're ever near that ol' Crowley house late at night, you still hear old Victor Crowley cryin' for his daddy."

One of the first books I read about the restaurant business was a title called Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. He describes the people who work at restaurants to be a band of misfits, those who are probably only there because of an irrational dedication to cooking. That would certainly describe the people who work at the Slammin Salmon, the latest comedy from Broken Lizard group.

Rich Ferente (played by Kevin Heffernan) is a down on his luck waiter. After a bout with some very disrespectful customers, he comes to the back with a tuna patty forcefully stuck in his mouth. He gets yelled at by the floor manager Carl (played by Nat Faxon) which causes Rich to quit on the spot. However Rich has to tell the Champ that he has quit and you know what happened to the last guy who did that? Ultimately Rich chickens out and runs away. Fast forward a year.

"More of this is true than you would believe."

What was intended as a somewhat thought-provoking quirky comedy looks a lot like something you would expect to see on a late night rerun of The X-Files. All of the subject matter has been covered there, just not quite in this way. It all started with a non-fiction book written by Jon Ronson. He claimed to have researched various government studies in human behavior that entered into the world of the paranormal. It was part of an ideology of waging non-lethal war. It was a strange combination of 1980's new age mysticism and actual studies that showed that soldiers in World War II were, in fact, quite reluctant to kill or even harm the enemy. The study claimed that almost 80% of the soldiers deliberately looked for excuses not to fire or merely aimed inaccurately to avoid killing. The study went further and claimed that of the minority that did shoot with deadly results, most of them suffered terrible guilt over the experience, often making them unable to remain effective soldiers. The study regards the remainder of the study group, the ones who did fire accurately and did not suffer guilt as psychopaths. In short, the book gathered a lot of speculative ideas and put them into a rather oddball collection of "facts".

(You’re going to have to forgive me, I’m pulling ample portions of this review from my earlier Divimax review of Dawn, with some exceptions of course.)

Anchor Bay, holding all (or most) of the keys in George Romero’s zombie film trilogy put out a copy of this film now before overloading us we on the remake, done in grainy, handheld 28 Days Later style by director Zack Snyder of 300 lore. A stopgap one disc version was released, followed by this huge-arse four disc version that we’re viewing now.

Thora Birch (remember when she was the lead and Scarlett Johansson was her support?) Is a young woman with a loving husband. She is struggling to deal with anxiety as she undergoes fertility treatments, and is having vivid nightmares in which she is living in a run-down apartment, working in a grotesque mortuary, is beset by strange visions, and is being stalked by a murderer. Or is it the other way around, as this young woman keeps dreaming she is the young married. And that murderer stalks both worlds. What’s going...on?

Writer/director Ray Gower cites David Lynch among his film’s major influences, but he leaves out the most painfully obvious one: Jacob’s Ladder, which this film mimics both in narrative structure (jumping back and forth between possible realities) and in groaner ending that makes a hash out of what has come before. Sorry, but that kind of third-hand Twilight Zone gambit simply doesn’t cut it. Along the way, there are some effectively gruesome sequences, nicely spooky imagery, and though the performances are uneven (a television newscaster is painfully amateurish, but Birch acquits herself well), the story is still interesting enough that the viewer will stick with the film long enough to be miffed by the conclusion.

A twisted twist on the zombie genre. Dellamorte (Everett) is a watchman of sorts over a small village cemetery. The problem is not so much with folks breaking in as with the dead breaking out. In this neck of the woods the dead arise within 7 days of their death. A simple shot in the head solves the rather pesky problem; however, it requires a certain amount of vigilance. Now so far none of this is terribly original at all. Things begin to change when Dellamorte becomes infatuated with a mourning widow. Their escapades at her husband’s grave literally wake the dead. Her deceased hubby’s attack leaves her apparently dead, and of course needing to be placed in a more permanent position by Dellamorte and his revolver. That might be that, as they say. It appears you can’t keep a good gal down, and the woman begins to reappear in many guises throughout the film. Here things get quite confusing, and it’s hard to determine how much of this is actually taking place. The film’s climax further complicates the question.

The film’s original title is Dellamorte Dellamore. If you are at all squeamish about in your face necrophilia, this one will make you quite antsy. Apparently you can really have a blast if you can keep your head about you. Francois Hadji – Lazaro steals the show in his role of Gnaghi, the Curley Howard-like mute but faithful sidekick with a head for romance. Anna Falchi plays the object of desire with skills more physical than not. The film utilizes a narrative style which never really captures the action. Perhaps the translation from Italian leaves holes not originally intended. While the film is originally an Italian film, many of the actors are obviously talking in English. It isn’t hard to conceive that Cemetery Man might have been some inspiration for Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride. Many of the visuals are starkly familiar. The theme is certainly rather similar. The zombie effects themselves are not terribly original, but many of the images are fresh takes on an old theme. With the help of clever set design, the atmosphere of the film is accomplished throughout. The film manages to be a black comedy while still satisfying the horror fan as well.