Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2007
I can't say I'm too familiar with The Last Unicorn, I mean overall, animated children's films were in the midst of a decline in the '80s. However my wife was more than familiar with it and enjoyed it a lot growing up. And Lion's Gate has presumably cleaned up the film and thrown some extras on it just in time for the film's 25th anniversary.
Based on a novel by Peter Beagle and directed by the animation team of Jules Bass and Arthur Rankin (who helped produced such shows as the stop motion of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Hobbit animated version back in the '60s and '70s), the unicorn in question is named, well, Unicorn (voiced by Mia Farrow, The Omen), who walks around rather peacefully in the countryside. She is captured by a witch and is released by her assistant named Schmendrick (Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine). So when Schmendrick and Unicorn are threatened by an ominous red bull, he turns her into a mortal named Amalthea, who finds love by Prince Lir (Jeff Bridges, Tron) and finds out why she was the last unicorn from King Haggard (Christopher Lee, The Lord of the Rings).
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 13th, 2007
The first Open Water film was one of those underdog stories that keep the filmmaking industry alive and vibrant today. I was pleased with the simplicity of it all and the emotional effect that kind of storytelling could have. The film provided hope that an Indie film shot on weekends and vacations on an almost nonexcistant budget could have something important to say. While this sequel attempts to reproduce all of these elements, it only further demonstrates how sadly they are missing. There's no small production feel to the process. The only thing small here is the script. Unlike our original couple, these swimmers are in peril not because of someone else's negligence, but due to their own stupidity. When three couples out on a yacht to celebrate one of their birthdays, they all slip into the water without first checking to be sure the ladder or a landing was put out so they can get back on. Add a baby left behind, and I still can't get too worked up about whether or not these idiots survive. The stupidity continues as each stage of further danger is only brought about by one moronic action after another. Finish it off with an ending that tries to be mysterious but only ends up being the idiot cherry on top of this idiot sundae.
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Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 31st, 2007
Romeo and Juliet is a classic tale that has been told and re-told over and over again. It is generally accepted that the definitive film version of Shakespeare's story of lovers' twisted fate is the 1968 version by Italian director Franco Zeffirelli. Rather than attempt to best this effort, more recent film adaptations have decided to modernize the story. Baz Luhrmann tackled it with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio using all the original dialog, but ultra modern wardrobe, sets and music. While some critics myself included) fell in love with this fast paced adaptation, others were appalled.
This time around, the story is told in a Spanish language film from Mexican director Fernando Sarinana. You know the plot. This time, the divides between the two star-crossed lovers are not political but economical. Our Juliet is a very wealthy girl, while "Romero" is a poor but good boy who has to work to get by. I really wanted to like this movie, but I just couldn't do it. This is the same lifeless high school girl romcom crap that you find here in the states, it just looks worse.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 18th, 2007
Alexandra Holden is a big-time TV reporter who is traumatized when an intruder breaks into her home and kills her fiancé. (Does this set-up remind anyone of The Howling?) She retreats to her old home-town, moves back with her parents (Sid Haig and Leslie Easterbrook!) and starts work at a local TV station. Her first assignment takes her to a house where murders took place years ago, and she promptly has visions of ghosts and the murders, and she feels she is being called on to provide justice for the ghosts. Their still-living killer has other ideas, however.
The counter-casting of Haig and Easterbrook (most recently together in The Devil’s Rejects) as overly protective parents is enjoyable perverse, but the movie itself has the rather plodding, pedestrian feel of a late-70's made-for-TV flick. The dialogue is frequently awkward and excessively expository, and the characters aren’t always consistent. There are a couple of decently assembled jolts, but there isn’t really much here to lift things out of the run-of-the-mill.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 9th, 2007
When you consider the huge amount of acting inherent to the WWF, you might expect acting talents to dominate this WWE horror production. OK, of course you wouldn't. Still, acting is not where this film shines. The tired formula of teens in an isolated location who get picked off one by one is certainly nothing original, so the script doesn't offer any real shining moments either. So where exactly does this film take on a luster of its own? Truth be told? It doesn't. Of course, looking at the target audience, the film doesn't really need to. What matters here is body count, right? The numbers are up there in respectable territory. And while the gore f/x are not groundbreaking, you have to give the film style points for creativity. The plot has plenty of holes. Let's just forget the overall premise of jail inmates earning time off for fixing up an old hotel. Let's totally ignore that when they arrive there's obviously no direction or equipment to do the job. The setting at least takes us away from the by now cliché babysitters and camp counselors. As for the rest of the story, it's pretty much horror 101. Everyone knows that when running for your life from a bloodthirsty maniac, there's always time to break for a joint and a quick romp in the sack.
The cinematography is almost video game in nature. There are plenty of POV shots and quirky lighting. There are too many rapid cuts, which tend to make the kill shots a bit frantic and hard to actually see. There's also a strong influence by the latest Asian Horror Invasion, as evidenced by jerky movements and again in some of the rapid cuts. Glen Jacobs is the wrestling world's Kane. The film was obviously developed for and catered to the wrestling personality. Unlike such icons as Hulk Hogan or even The Rock, Kane has a pretty limited range. Fortunately he's perfect for the part, but let's not get too many of those Shakespeare scripts to him yet. What makes Kane work is that all he really has to do is look menacing without really speaking, and Kane has it down. The film's atmosphere works on many levels, thanks to an inspired set design. Unfortunately the shooting style cheats us of any opportunity to linger a bit and enjoy the work.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 8th, 2007
Sven Garrett plays the Photographer, who, when not exercising his profession of photographing beautiful women, is busy torturing and killing them. His girlfriend’s little sister (Jade Risser) thinks there’s something creepy about him, but isn’t listened to. Meanwhile, the bodies pile up.
There’s not a heck of a lot more to the plot than that. The title is an apt description of the film: it is basically a collection of set pieces. References to Nazi Germany and footage of 9/11 are tossed in to no very compelling purpose. The acting is painful, as is the dialogue (what one can make out of it – more on this below). This is a film that has stirred up quite a fuss among the critics, horror or otherwise, but viewers wanting to see what all the fuss is about won’t be enlightened by this release. The film originally ran 105 minutes, according to IMDB. This version runs 83. So when I said this is a collection of set pieces, I should have said “truncated” set pieces, and all the really nasty stuff is completely absent. The result is akin to a hardcore porn film with the sex removed. The actual technical aspects of the film are quite slick, but that doesn’t make it watchable.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 9th, 2006
I don’t watch a lot of horror movies, but when I do I want them to be scary or amusing, or both. I found Blackwater Valley Exorcism to be none of the above.
The story centers around the demonic possession of a young woman, and the efforts a group of people make to save her. This group includes her family, her father’s farmhands, a sheriff, a veterinarian and a priest who’s never dealt with this sort of thing before. Luckily, one of those farmhands just happens to be a former priest who has conducted an exorcism.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 13th, 2006
It’s time to say goodbye to that lovable furry alien from Melmac. After 4 years the network unceremoniously pulled the plug. Unfortunately it was in the middle of a cliffhanger. While a TV movie tried to wrap things up, I was never completely satisfied. The final season of ALF offers up pretty much more of the same. ALF’s go as a day trader is one of the better episodes. In case you haven’t noticed, all of the episode titles are song tittles. This season offers such hits and near misses as: Live and Let Die, Happy ...ogether, and the finale, Consider Me Gone.
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Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 8th, 2006
Helen Hunt is horribly miscast as a 1930’s infamous seductress on the prowl for vulnerable rich husbands. There’s not a moment in the film she doesn’t look and sound completely out of character for the role. Fortunately Scarlett Johansson is better suited for her performance. Still, most of the cast seems ill-placed. The film is based on the Oscar Wilde play “Lady Windermere’s Fan” which I have never seen. Of course, things are never what they appear to be throughout the film. While the dialogue contains the tradem...rk Wilde flair for wit, the plot simply doesn’t go anywhere. It’s a shame, really. The film had potential. The cinematography is very appealing. The period costumes and Italian locations make for a rich atmosphere that unfortunately nothing of import happens within. Even the stylized Wilde twist falls flat in the end.
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Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on August 22nd, 2006
Steve Martin plays a wacky TV weatherman, who develops a close friendship with an electronic freeway sign in the sleeper hit comedy L.A. Story. I found the critically acclaimed film to lack hilarity, but it does get marks for inventiveness. Martin is enjoyable in most anything he's in, even if the material is not-so-great. L.A. Story is one such example of an actor rising above said material. Most of the over-the-top silliness misses the mark, and Marilu Henner has little more to do than play the cliche...of snobbish socialite. The true love of the Martin character's life - played by Victoria Tennant - is so bland vanilla I would have much rather seen him end up with his free-spirited squeeze toy (Sarah Jessica Parker), though any such relationship would be doomed to fail. At least there would be some excitement.
With that said, I did enjoy the basic hook: Martin's interaction with the fun-loving freeway sign. The sign is just a series of bulbs lit to form questions, comments, and riddles, but there is a quirkiness to it that shows more character than any other supporting player in the film, save for Parker. Director Mick Jackson manages to make the most of this bizarre relationship, but he works from a script that lacks too many interesting additional characters to be a great film. Also, the happy ending feels tacked-on and abrupt, and if you're of my opinion, lacks the happiness part so desperately needed. Sure, things work out. It's a comedy. But at the end of the day, Martin's victory doesn't seem worth winning.
