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Bliss

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 15th, 2003

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Synopsis

Craig Sheffer and Sheryl Lee are less than a year into their marriage, and already they’re intherapy. It transpires that Lee has never had an orgasm. Sheffer finds out that she is visitingextremely unconventional sex therapist Terence Stamp. Outraged, he confronts Stamp, but windsup listening to him, and then becomes his pupil, hoping that what he learns will lead to sexualhealing for Lee. If this sounds like things are about to get very flaky, well, that depends on yourtak…
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Tuck Everlasting

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 14th, 2003

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Synopsis

In the early years of the 20th Century, Winnie Foster (Alexis Bledel) is in the full throes ofadolescence and feeling extremely repressed by her domineering mother. Wandering off into thewoods next to her home, she stumbles upon the Tucks, a family of immortals. She falls in lovewith Jesse (Jonathan Jackson), who is 17, going on 104. Meanwhile, a supremely sinister BenKingsley is tracking the Tucks, hoping to make a mint with their fountain of youth. Kingsley isso dark, his…
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Sordid Lives

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 14th, 2003

Synopsis

An ensemble piece, along the lines of something John Sayles or Robert Altman might do,only on a minuscule budget and played strictly for laughs. A massively dysfunctional Southernfamily meet for the funeral of Grandma Peggy, and all sorts of animosities and such are workedout. The film is based on a play, and boy can you tell — static as hell, boring to watch. There aresome moments of genuine emotion with the gay characters, but for the most part this is just apainful slog…
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Bloody Murder 2

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 12th, 2003

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Synopsis

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. A group of camp counsellors is shutting down a campwhere gruesome murders happened years before. They goof around, have sex, and areslaughtered by a masked maniac. Bloody Murder 2 is 90% shameless Friday the 13th plagiarism:the location is “Placid Pines” instead of “Crystal Lake” and the killer is “Trevor Moorehouse”instead of “Jason Voorhees,” but my God, even the number of syllables is the same. The other10% is stolen from Scream: a li…
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Summer of Fear

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 11th, 2003

Synopsis

Linda Blair plays Rachel, a teenager whose parents take in her cousin Julia when Julia’sparents are killed in a car crash. Julia bewitches everyone but Rachel, who realizes that Julia is,in fact, Evil. This is the European theatrical cut of the TV movie, which aired Stateside asStranger in Our House. Though an important release for those following Craven’s early career,especially his early movies, this remains nonetheless very much a 1978 network TV film, withall the limita…
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Thirst

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 11th, 2003

Synopsis

Kate Davis (Chantal Contouri) is, unbeknownst to her, a descendant of Countess Bathory. Aninternational cabal of vampires kidnap Kate, take her to their industrial blood farm (wherepeople, called “blood cows,” are milked and the product is place in milk cartons). There Kate issubjected to extensive psychological conditioning, the purpose of which is to make her reclaimher heritage. The concept is interesting, taking the idea of the vampire as the upper class bleedingthe low…
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Ultimate X

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on February 10th, 2003

When I was 12 I rode my 10-speed down a huge hill and crashed down a concrete stairwell into a brick wall. I survived. The bike didn’t. If only I had known there was a career in this stuff it might have hurt a little less. Of course, in those days there was no such thing as X games. With this DVD, perhaps the X Games have arrived…with highlights from X Games VII in Philadelphia.

Audio

Ultimate X contains solid Dolby Digital 5.1 and DTS 5.1 tracks. Except for a bit of a bottom boost on the…
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Puphedz: The Tattle-Tale Heart

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 10th, 2003

Synopsis

The story is essentially “The Tell-Tale Heart”: our protagonist, obsessed by an old man’sugly eye, kills him, buries him under the floorboards, but then loses it when he thinks he stillhears the beating heart. The short feature has a lot of affection for Poe (despite misspelling hismiddle name) and actually uses much of the actual prose from the original story, before divertinginto slapstick silliness. Not all of the jokes work, but the care and imagination that went into the…
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Duellists, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 9th, 2003

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Synopsis

Keith Carradine and Harvey Keitel are soldiers in Napoleon’s army. The film opens the yearNapoleon has become ruler of France. Keitel is a man of irrational and explosive temper. For noreal reason, he develops a hatred for Carradine, and challenges him to a duel. Over and overagain, during the course of the tumultuous years that follow, the two duel, but never manage tocomplete their battle and both always live to fight another day. Though not without darkness,this film, ba…
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The Bourne Identity

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 8th, 2003

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In 1988 Richard Chamberlin played the signature role of Jason Bourne in a made for TV adaptation of the classic novel The Bourne Identity. The show was a two-part pilot for a projected series that was never picked up. While the TV version might have been more faithful to the novel, the 2002 film with Matt Damon as Bourne effectively brings the spy yarn into the 21st century. Microfilm is replaced with a laser decoder and the awkward doctor is replaced with a more fitting female companion. Damon’s youth is both an asset and a liability.
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City by the Sea

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on February 8th, 2003

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Synopsis

De Niro is Vincent LaMarca. His father was a kidnapper and accidental murderer. Now hisson, a junkie, has also killed a man. Will LaMarca be able to stop the generational cycle ofviolence? The Long Beach settings are very effective, combining rotting former grandeur withStalinist architecture. So far, so 70s, and the hard-luck characters fit right in. FrancesMcDormand, however, is stuck with a woefully underwritten part as De Niro’s girlfriend. Theplot, as well, is strictly…
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Cardinal, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 7th, 2003

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Synopsis

Tom Tryon, better known today as a novelist (he is the author of, among other works, TheOther, a classic of modern horror), plays the title character. From humble curate in the poorestparish of Massachusetts, he rises, over twenty years, to become a cardinal. Along the way, sincethis is a three hour film, he encounters One Damn Thing After Another, from his sister’s desireto marry outside the faith, to abortion, racism, temptations of the flesh, the Nazis, and so on. Thewho…
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Master of Disguise, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on February 6th, 2003

Synopsis

Dana Carvey returns to the big screen with the tale of Pistachio Disguise. He plays a waiter at his father’s Italian restaurant who can’t figure out why he compulsively mimics his customers and is always changing his appearance. What he soon learners’ is that these are all traits of the Disguisey family, harnessing the great power of Energico they are able to transform themselves and have used their powers to fight evil for centuries. When his parents are kidnapped Pistachio must learn to us…
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Wasabi

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 6th, 2003

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Synopsis

Jean Reno, playing a Hard-Boiled Cop Who Plays By His Own Rules, is put on forcedvacation, having punched out one person too many. During this break, he finds out that thewoman he loved in Japan 19 years ago has died. Travelling to Japan for the funeral, he discoversa daughter he never knew he had. She happens to be worth $200,000,000, and bad guys are outfor the money. Something like The Professional Lite, Wasabi plays its action strictly for laughs,and it is pretty funny….
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MASH – The Complete Third Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on February 6th, 2003

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This set contains all episodes of season 3 from M*A*S*H in broadcast order. This season of M*A*S*H from a critical standpoint was probably one of the best of the 11 seasons, this was the year that the show won the Peabody award, the highest award you can receive in television, and co-producer gene Reynolds won an Emmy award for directing the episode, “O.R.” which is seen here uncut and unedited. Also on this disc are the episodes The General Flipped at Dawn, Officer of the Day, Check-up, and Rainbow Bridge, Iron gut…
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SpongeBob Squarepants: Tales from the Deep

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on February 6th, 2003

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Synopsis

By this time, you either like this guy or you don’t. There is a lot of fun goofiness here, butthere are also some ill-advised live-action additions (such as in “House Party” and “I Had anAccident”), which are just plain painful.

Audio

The 2.0 sound is crisp, clear, distortion-free and fun. The surround effect is pretty muchlimited to the music, but it’s pretty constant.

Video

As with the other SpongeBob DVDs, the picture is …
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Affair to Remember, An

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 5th, 2003

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Synopsis

On a luxury ocean liner, playboy Cary Grant meets singer Deborah Kerr. Each is involvedwith someone else, but they fall deeply in love with each other. Upon arriving in New York, theydecide to part and, if all goes well, reunite in six months at the top of the Empire State Building,by which time their lives should be in order. If you’ve seen Sleepless in Seattle, you know whathappens next. Though this is one the most celebrated weepies ever, I found it curiouslyuninvolving….
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All or Nothing

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 5th, 2003

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Synopsis

A multi-character tale of working class families, All or Nothing’s emotional centre isTimothy Spall’s Phil (a taxi driver) and Lesley Manville’s Penny (a Safeway cashier). They, theirchildren and their friends live lives of quiet desperation and plenty of bleakness, but a certainwry humour lurks just under the surface.

Audio

This is a very quiet film, by and large, so there isn’t a lot by way of sound effects. The musicis very important, however, an…
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War and Peace

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 5th, 2003

Synopsis

Covering the years of the Napoleonic Wars in Russia, War and Peace follows the lives ofNatasha (Audrey Hepburn), Pierre (Henry Fonda) and his best friend Andrei (Mel Ferrer). Thiscombination of stars, not to mention Anita Ekberg as a gold-digger and Herbert Lom asNapoleon, takes a bit of getting used to, but you do find yourself caught up in their lives andloves. The battle scenes, particularly at the end, are quite impressive, and if the cheese factor ispretty high, so is …
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Banger Sisters, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 2nd, 2003

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Synopsis

Goldie Hawn plays Suzette, aging groupie. Fired from her bartending job, she decamps fromLA for Phoenix, there to track down old pal Vinnie (Susan Sarandon), who has, of course,morphed from party girl to Mrs. Establishment. Along the way, Hawn picks up neurotic writerGeoffrey Rush. (A screwed up writer who is sexually devoured by a hot babe? Could this be thecreation of a male writer?) Hawn proceeds to cure everybody of uptightness. Gosh, aren’t theBoomers fascinating? They…
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Predator 2

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 2nd, 2003

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Synopsis

Danny Glover takes over from Arnold Schwarzenegger as the chosen opponent of theextraterrestrial big game hunter. In a Los Angeles driven mad by heat and violence, Glover is thehard-bitten cop fighting for some for of order. The Predator arrives and starts offing drug gangsand cops, all of which leads to the eventual final battle. We’ve been here before, obviously, butthe sense of heat is almost palpable, the action is non-stop, and the ending is very cool. Look fora famili…
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Law and Order – The First Year

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on February 2nd, 2003

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Film

“In the criminal justice system the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime and the District Attorneys who prosecute the offenders …” Law and Order is an example of a bygone day in network television. In the 1990-1991 season this first year program ranked 62nd of all television programs. In addition to its poor performance, NBC lost revenue from countless sponsors pulling their advertisements because of the controversial nature of t…
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Rules of Attraction, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 2nd, 2003

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Synopsis

The setting is an exclusive college, and the action covers one school term. We move fromone party to another (very little education of any kind takes place here, what with the professorsstoned or absent), and see the intersections of doomed romantic hopes. These hopes belong toSean Bateman (brother of American Psycho Patrick), who longs for the virginal Lauren, and is inturn longed after by Paul. Lauren, meanwhile, is saving herself for Victor, who doesn’t evenknow she exis…
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Q & A

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 2nd, 2003

Synopsis

Nick Nolte, hulking and brutal, is a top NYC cop. The first thing we see him do isassassinate an unarmed man, then plant evidence to cover up his guilt. Timothy Hutton, a newassistant to the district attorney, is given the job of closing what is supposed to be a simple caseof self-defence. Naturally, he finds all sorts of loose ends and hints of top-level corruption. Whilethe romantic subplot is pointless, the investigation is gripping, and Nolte, Hutton, ArmandAssante (as …
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Thelma & Louise

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 29th, 2003

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Synopsis

Thelma (Susan Sarandon) and Louise (Geena Davis) head out on the highway for a well-deserved two-day trip. But then Louise is attacked, and Thelma shoots the would-be rapist, andeverything goes spectacularly to hell. One the one hand, this is a revisionist buddy road movie,with women instead of men in the leads. On the other hand, this is also the definitive buddy roadmovie, smarter and more exciting than any before or since.

Audio

The audio is terr…
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