Weinstein Company

“A short time ago in a galaxy not so far, far away…

The year is 1998 and it is a period of galactic civil war. Scratch that. There is no civil war. That would be crazy! However, the past 15 years have been a dark time for Star Wars fans. But there is hope. A new Star Wars film is on the horizon. In 199 days, 34 hours, 33 minutes and 28 seconds the most anticipated movie of all time will be released. In the remote state of Ohio, two best friends and lifelong Star Wars fans have drifted apart. Little do they know that on Halloween Night, their paths will cross again.”

The international horror market is becoming quite the money maker. It started with the Asian Invasion. We started seeing American remakes of these mostly Japanese or Korean ghost stories. They usually had a common thread that featured some type of technology. It started with Ring, the American version of Ringu. Here it’s a videotape that demands to be reproduced or you’re dead in 7 days. Eventually we’ve seen films where ghosts inhabit everything from computers to video games to cell phones and digital cameras. It seems the dead just can’t let go of their hi-tech toys. If you want to go ghost hunting today, stay away from the creepy mansions and ancient cemeteries. I’d try Best Buy. Those guys must have a hell of a ghost problem. Who you gonna call?

The latest country to get in on the fad is Austria. Dead In 3 Days is an Austrian, German language film, which hasn’t been remade for American audiences. Instead the film, originally titled, In 3 Tagen bist du tot, provides an English dub.

I get worried when I see box art make claims like they have on the recent release of Dorothy Mills. It claims that this film is a contemporary take on The Exorcist. The problem is that we don’t really need a contemporary take on that classic film. It’s a bit pretentious and arrogant to think that this low budget affair can come close to reproducing what that film did back in the 1970’s. Why can’t the folks who make these kinds of films allow the film to stand on its own and aspire to something unique and exciting for its own merits? Fortunately the box art is just marketing hype, probably written by some advertisement executive who never actually even saw the film. This isn’t The Exorcist, nor does it actually try to be. Truth be told, the film doesn’t play out like your normal run of the mill possession films at all. It has a rather clever angle that might be more Sybil than Exorcist.

“They’re not leaving till they get dessert.”

Director John Gulager might be the son of famed cult B movie star Clu Gulager, but that’s not how he broke into the business. He was a Project Greenlight winner. Project Greenlight is a competition for up and coming directors. They compete in a reality show style setting for the opportunity to direct a major release film. Now, I didn’t say it was a big budget film, but it does get backed and released by a major studio. When John Gulager won, his reward film was the original Feast. The film did well enough that now a couple of years later we’re on the third installment of what has become a somewhat cult hit franchise. Nothing has changed in this third film; in fact, it could be argued that the three films could be cut together into one long epic piece and it would work just as well.

“You’ve got Samuel L. Jackson. You’ve got Bernie Mac. Just turn on the camera and I guarantee you got something you can keep.”

During an August weekend in the past summer of 2008 the entertainment world lost two of it’s brightest stars in just two days. On August 9th comedian extraordinaire Bernie Mac died from complications of pneumonia. The Mac-Man, as his friends liked to call him, was little more than 50 years old. Just a few hours after Bernie Mac passed, on August 10th legendary soul man Isaac Hayes also died. Hayes was 10 days shy of his 66th birthday. This was certainly a tragic weekend for the entertainment community, but the unlikely coincidence is made somewhat bittersweet by the fact that both men appeared together in what would be one the final appearances by both performers. That movie was the comedy Soul Men. To make the coincidence carry further, that film would have as its main plot point the idea of getting to the funeral of a soul legend, recently passed away.

Woody Allen lands a terrific cast with his latest attempt at comedy, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, but there is something very off about the way these characters are written. Annoying pretentious dialogue renders a whimsical, fairy-tale-like backdrop ineffectual, causing each moment of silence to come all too slowly.Rebecca Hall is Vicky. Scarlett Johansson is Cristina. They are two differently wired friends enjoying an extended vacation in Barcelona, where they meet up with ruggedly handsome artist Juan Antonio Gonzalo (Javier Bardem), whom both girls can’t seem to resist. Juan Antonio asks both girls to join him in bed the first time he meets them. Vicky is offended, while Cristina finds his approach radically interesting – enough so to decide she’ll take him up on the offer. Unfortunately for Cristina, food poisoning cuts her plans short, and in steps the combative Vicky to fill the empty slot.

 

“It’s not about monsters, or zombies, or vampires. It’s about kids.”

One of the horror trends going around involves the isolation of a young couple who find themselves suddenly terrified. The pursuer can be a creature or undead vengeful spirit, but more often than not the attacker is very much human. The location can be a desert or even a hotel room as it was in one of the better examples of the subgenre, Vacancy with Kate Beckinsale and Luke Fox. Many of these kinds of films have become far too predictable and, dare we say, boring. They rely totally on jump scene scares and a few gallons of gore. So, when Britain got into the act, I admit I was bracing myself for more of the same. Happily, Eden Lake is a standout film. Its quality took me totally by surprise, but everything about this film was pretty well done. Of course all of the cliché moments are there, but if you check out Eden Lake you’re in for an entertaining, if not disturbing, ride.

“Gaze too long into the abyss and the abyss gazes back at you…”

The original Pulse film was a remake of an Asian horror film, part of the recent trend of converting many of these titles into American retellings. That trend appears to also include strong warnings against technology and linking ghostly apparitions with some form of technology, from video tapes to cell phones. I’m pretty sure they’re right about the cell phones. In Pulse it was pretty much all technology that could act as a conduit for the restless dead to come to the world of the living. The internet and such access ports as laptops became the real killers. The second film brought us the complete breakdown of society, and now 7 years from that point we have Pulse 3. By now what remains of humanity lives in scattered rural areas. The cities have been abandoned, left to the dead. Technology is now the stuff of evil in the almost religious culture that has developed in the remaining people. If you haven’t seen either of the earlier films you might be a little lost, but not so much that you can’t get into this film. The problem is that this film, like its previous incarnations, isn’t good enough for you to want to get into. In case you need to know here are some basics: Ghosts can’t pass red barriers. Something in that wavelength traps them. They are all restless and drain the life force from anyone they encounter. They travel through electronic equipment. Mostly they appear to inhabit the internet.

This modern retelling of the classic fairy tale is brought to you by a division of the Jim Henson Company called Unstable Fables. I think that whoever came up with this idea is the unstable part. This is actually causing me some pain to write. I never thought the day would come when I would be totally disgusted by a Jim Henson labeled release. Anyone who remembers the charm and soul that Henson used to put into his work, or appreciates the work that son Brian has continued, might be lured into this awful trap. Daughter Lisa should be ashamed of herself for having the audacity to put her father’s name on this drivel.

The Unstable Fables are intended as a modern retelling of popular fairy tales. I can’t speak for the first two entries, but if they are anything like this I don’t want to see them. It’s far from a retelling of anything. The names are the same, but the faces and their stories have been changed to protect the ignorant. The animation is pretty shoddy. None of the animals look even remotely cute, realistic, or interesting. They are not recognizable for what they are intended to be, but they’re not humanized versions, either. They are Aunt Esther ugly.

The Longshots is one of those sports films that in many ways you see coming from miles away. It certainly feeds upon that against all odds sports cliché that you’ve likely seen a hundred times if you’ve seen it once. But in so many other ways, this is a story with more than a champion’s heart and courage. In many ways it’s about family and redemption. While the film is based loosely on the story of Jasmine Plummer, it is just as much the story of her uncle Curtis, who was saving himself as he was trying to help his niece. I’m not a huge Ice Cube fan. Honestly, I find most of his characters to be an extension of the punk attitude he garnered as a rapper. But this role is significantly better than anything I’ve seen him do before. The part doesn’t necessarily call for a lot of chops to play, but Ice Cube does add a certain amount of sincerity to the role, without having to extend himself all that far. It almost looks effortless, like he’s sleepwalking through the part, but it leads to rather inspirational results when taken as a whole.