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Dragon Storm

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 21st, 2004

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Synopsis

Meteors plunge to Earth in the 12th Century, unleashing a horde of dragons from outer space(!). They destroy the castle of nasty king John Rhys-Davies. He and a few followers take refugein the castle of a good and wise king, plotting to overthrow him when opportunity arises.Meanwhile, a lone-wolf hunter is conscripted into hunting down the dragons, with the help ofa disparate band (including a martial arts expert — don’t ask).

This is another pic that follows the standard …
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Where the Red Fern Grows

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 20th, 2004

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Synopsis

Kris Kristofferson narrates the story in flashback, telling the story of his younger self (JosephAshton) during the Depression. The young boy dreams of owning a hunting dog, and afterslaving away on odd jobs for two years, he finally acquires two: “Old Dan” and “Little Ann.”Together they become an unbeatable team, and have various adventures in a setting that is bothbucolic and poverty-stricken. The film is handsomely mounted and genuinely performed (with,interestingly, Dav…
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Napoleon Dynamite

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 17th, 2004

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Synopsis

We’ve all known (or been — be honest, now) Napoleon Dynamite at some point in highschool. He’s too tall for his own good, lives in a fantasy world of his own, and is a socialcatastrophe. At home, his thirty-something brother Kip is just as odd, and when their hard-partying grandmother winds up in the hospital, Uncle Rico (permanently reliving his supposedglory days of 1982) comes to look after things, and generally makes everything worse. ButNapoleon is also coming out of …
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Lost Innocence

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 14th, 2004

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Synopsis

Janie inherits a strip club from her uncle, and is determined to put the club back in the black,notably by getting all her college friends to strut their stuff on the stage. But not everyone wantsher to succeed, notably one conniving stripper who wants to get her hands on the treasuresecreted somewhere on the premises.

Why am I even bothering provided a synopsis for this poor man’s cross betweenShowgirls and Degrassi High? The plot gets us from one silicone-en…
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Jackhammer Massacre, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 14th, 2004

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Synopsis

Aaron Gaffey plays Jack, whom we first meet in a warehouse, strung out, paranoid andfestering, and who, given some unholy drug cocktail overdose, flips his lid and kills histormentors with a jackhammer (hence, the title). Extended flashbacks then show us how Jackdescended into a hell of drug addiction, and he now takes orders from the hallucination of hisdead best friend. The orders, unsurprisingly, consists in killing as many people as possible withthe jackhammer.

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Depeche Mode / Devotional

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 10th, 2004

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I’ve got to be honest. I was never a Depeche Mode fan. My lack of interest in them didn’t really come from their music, which I always thought was different – in a good way. It was just that in the 80’s and 90’s, MTV played their videos 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The video for “Enjoy the Silence” was burned into my eyelids. I couldn’t get away from the band no matter how hard I tried.

My, how things have changed. MTV doesn’t play Depeche Mode videos anymore, or any videos for that matter, and after wat…
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Popeye’s Voyage: The Quest for Pappy

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 7th, 2004

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Synopsis

Popeye has a nightmare in which his “no-good Pappy” is in mortal danger. Convinced thatthis is actually the case, he scuppers land-locked plans for Christmas with Olive Oyl in order tosearch for Pappy. Off the whole gang goes on the search: Olive, Swee’ pea, Bluto (as firstmate???) and Whimpy.

I’ll give this points for trying, and the animated does have a fluidity lacking in theaccompanying cartoons (about which more below). But Popeye looks odd in three dimensions,…
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Dead End

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 7th, 2004

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Synopsis

Pater familias Ray Wise is driving his squabbling family to his in-laws for Christmas. Whilethe rest of the family dozes, he takes a turn off the Interstate for a change of pace, then almostgets into an accident when he falls asleep himself. Now on an unfamiliar road, the family picksup a mysterious woman in white, and they then find themselves spiralling down into nightmare,where they are picked off one by one by supernatural forces while journeying down a road thatnever e…
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O Genio: Ray Charles Live in Brazil 1963

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 6th, 2004

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With the popularity of the bio-pic Ray, Rhino comes out with O Genio: Ray Charles Live in Brazil 1963. Ray Charles is truly an O Genio, and this disc confirms that. Jazz, gospel, blues, rock n’ roll, this guy did it all. We have two performances recorded live in Sao Paulo. Each performance runs about an hour long. Ray is accompanied by a full brass orchestra and a lovely collection of female back-up singers. The first show gets off to kick-butt start with Charles’s famous hit “What’d I Say”. The …
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Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 5th, 2004

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Synopsis

The McGuffin here is the titular Blood Orchid, a plant that blooms only once every sevenyears, and which seems to hold the secret to eternal youth. A team is dispatched by amultinational drug company, but the expedition arrives in Borneo (where, as numerous reviewshave already pointed out, anacondas do not exist) at the height of the rainy season, andeverything goes wrong very quickly. Soon our heroes are slogging through the jungle, beset bypoisonous spiders, treachery from within…
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Howard Hughes: The Real Aviator

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 3rd, 2004

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Synopsis

This is the life story of Howard Hughes, as told by the man himself. Literally. Sort of. Michael Ferreri is the voice of Hughes, and he narrates his life from birth to death. This narration is intercut with interviews with Hughes’ surviving friends and widow. The visuals are a lively mix of footage and animated stills. Though the case boasts a running time of almost three hours, this is when all the extras are factored in. The actual feature is only 56 minutes long. Though the effort is alwa…
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Venus Rising

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 2nd, 2004

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Venus Risingis a laughably bad movie advertised as “in the tradition of Johnny Mnemonic”. Maybe the two movies are in the same ballpark, theme-wise, but quality-wise they’re not even the same sport. Audie England and Costas Manylor play two fugitives who escape from a desert Island. Eve and Vegas, however, are still controlled by drugs from the Pacifica Corporation. The drugs also enable the characters to achieve a “virtual reality” state of mind. Fantasy sequences occur, flashbacks etc. It’s just an exc…
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Smooth Talk

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 2nd, 2004

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Smooth Talk is a “coming of age” story that won the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival. It stars Laura Dern as Connie, a teenage girl from a small southern town. She’s at that rebellious age. In the words of Britney Spears, “she’s still a girl, not quite a woman”. Connie is curious about the opposite sex and a world outside the town. She’s searching for something, but what she finds, she might not want.

Treat Williams plays Arnold Friend. Friend, as it turns out, is nobody’s frien…
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Bettie Page – Dark Angel

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 2nd, 2004

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Synopsis

This is an episodic biopic about Bettie Page, moving from her glory days as a model for the pin-up photographer Bunny Yeager and fetish actress for Irving Klaw, maker of B&D shorts. All is well until a Senate investigation into obscenity, and Bettie herself pines for more mainstream, respectable roles. A fair bit of running time consists of B&W recreations of lost Klaw films, with Paige Richards doing a credible re-creation of Bettie’s look.

This is the very textbook definition of …
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Star Trek Voyager – The Complete Fifth Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 2nd, 2004

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Things were pretty much over the peak when Voyager warped into Season 5. The Seven Of Nine tension was begin to feel played out by now. The prominence of the girl Naomi I found to be a bit irritating. This would also be a year of rebellion as quite a few crew members cause Janeway more than her fair share of grief. The Borg continue to be the master villains and account for the bright spots in an otherwise mediocre season. Season 5 does bring us to that magical 100th episode with “Timeless”. “Dark Frontier” would be…
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Kim Possible – The Villian Files

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 30th, 2004

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Secret agent/crime fighter by night…high school cheerleader by day…Disney brings us Kim Possible. The DVD is subtitled The Villain Files. Kim Possible is an original TV show made by Disney. The Villain Files have four episodes for Possible fans. In each segment, Kim battles an arch enemy all the while trying to keep up her pom poms at the local high school. Her buddy, Ron Stoppable, is along for the ride.

Kim Possible has an intriguing premise. For kids watching, it has the best …
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Brave New Girl

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 29th, 2004

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Synopsis

It’s all just so heartwarming. Spirited single-mother Virginia Madsen (what in Heaven’sname is she doing in this?) struggles to make ends meet flipping waffles, while spunky, talenteddaughter Lindsey Haun longs to attend The Haverty Conservatory of Music and Dance. WhenMadsen becomes aware of Haun’s dream, she moves mountains for her daughter. You canpredict the rest.

Mother and daughter wuv each other sooooooo much, you just want Jason Voorhees to stepin and stag…
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Boy Meets World – The Complete Second Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 29th, 2004

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What’s the dealio with Boy Meets World,? It was a television series that ran from 1993-2000. And the reruns seem to be on TV all the time! But maybe that’s just me. Now we have the second season on DVD. So for all you Boy Meets World fans, your wish has come true.

It stars Ben Savage (Fred Savage’s brother) as Cory Matthews. The show centers on life in the “real world” and the struggles of growing up in a high school setting. It’s a pretty sanitized journey, as the show doesn’t delve in…
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Phantom of the Opera, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 26th, 2004

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Synopsis

A back-stage accident knocks New Yorker Jill Schoelen out and into her earlier incarnationas a 19th-Century opera singer in London. Madly in love with her is the Phantom (RobertEnglund), a composer who sold his soul (and his face) to the Devil in exchange for musicalimmortality. Englund coaches Schoelen and eliminates anyone who interferes with her career. Hewill also stop at nothing to ensure that he and Schoelen are united forever.

We’re a long way from Andrew Llo…
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National Lampoon’s Holiday Reunion

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 24th, 2004

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Synopsis

Anaesthesiologist Judge Reinhold, dreaming of a traditional Thanksgiving holiday with long-lost cousins, packs up his resentful, upper-crust family and heads off to Idaho. The relatives turnout to be a group of hippies with a yard that would horrify the family in The Texas ChainsawMassacre. Cue the culture clash.

But don’t cue the laughs. This is sad, sad stuff, as only a made-for-TV (TBS in this case)version of National Lampoon can be. The gags are old, and …
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Buck Rogers In The 25th Century – The Complete Epic Series

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 22nd, 2004

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I must admit that this show wasn’t quite as good as I remembered it. That’s not to say it isn’t great 70’s escapist science fiction, or that I am at all disappointed in seeing it again. Buck Rogers was almost a companion piece to Battlestar Galactica. They had a great deal in common. Both pilots were released in theatres with the trendy Sensurround. The concept was mostly overloaded subs to create a shake in the room during the space battles. The f/x were done by some of the same folks. Even the control sticks to the…
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Eloise at Christmastime

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 22nd, 2004

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Synopsis

Eloise (Sofia Vassilieva) is a six-year-old who runs rampant through NYC’s Park PlazaHotel. Her only adult supervision is in the form of the eccentric Nanny (Julie Andrews). The plottakes the form of a series of incidents as Eloise races from one adventure to another, meddlingwith the best of intentions in the lives of all around her, with emphasis, as the title suggests, onthe Christmas spirit this time around. Specifically, she’s helping out with a Christmas wedding,and e…
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Bob the Builder – Snowed Under

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 20th, 2004

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Everybody’s favorite guy in a construction hat is back. No, not Sully from Sesame Street It’s Bob the Builder! He stars in Snowed Under: The Bobblesberg Winter Games. To join in on the fun, Bob has his favorite buddies along too, Lofty, Scoop, Muck, Roley, Travis, Spud, Wendy, Dizzy. And there’s even a new character to the crew, Benny. What trouble does Bob have to fix this time? Well…let me tell ya kids. It’s the Bobblesberg Winter games and the course is snowed under. And it’s up to Bob and h…
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Jingle All the Way

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 19th, 2004

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Just in time for Christmas, and starring the Governator himself, we have Jingle All the Way with Arnold Swartzenegger. The story follows Arnold’s relentless pursuit to get a Turbo Man action figure for his son. This obsessive quest brings a lot of complications for our hero, from kidnapping, to stealing another kid’s toy, to a manic riot for numbered balls. Arnold even assumes the persona of Turbo Man at a parade and rockets around the city on a real turbo pack (Turbo rocket packs are real?). This all sound…
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Taxi – The Complete First Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 19th, 2004

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Taxi was a very funny sitcom that is most notable for the number of future stars it produced. Danny DeVito, Christopher Lloyd, Tony Danza, and Judd Hirsch all went on to bigger and better things when the Taxi ride ended. Andy Kaufman’s life and early death provided one of the more bizarre stories in Hollywood history. The truth is that season 1 was not quite that funny. Sure, Lloyd makes an appearance here, but the lovable Rev. Jim would not get behind the wheel of a taxi until the second season. We can only be glad …
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