1.33:1 Fullscreen

So here we have another double feature of episodes from Movie Macabre, with Elvira this time taking on Maneater of Hydra (1966) and The House That Screamed (1969). The former has the disconcerting spectacle of Cameron Mitchell appearing not only as a baron (ookaaayyy) but being dubbed. He’s experimenting with plants on his remote Greek island, and a group of tourists run afoul of one of his results. Given how long it takes for the titular plant to show up and relieve the dullness, one starts to wonder if the title doesn’t refer instead to one of the hot-to-trot tourists.

I grew up on a steady diet of horror hosts. In the Philadelphia area where I grew up we had Dr. Shock. Every Saturday night my Dad and I would watch his bad puns and silly magic tricks; all the while I was being introduced to a world I was destined to fall in love with. And so I was exposed to Frankenstein, The Wolfman, and The Creature From The Black Lagoon. The friendship with those early year monsters continues today. But the 70’s are gone, and since the 1980’s it is Elvira who has inherited the lost art of the horror host. Unfortunately for us, the art should have stayed lost. Elvira is simply terrible as she cracks jokes only she laughs at. It’s obvious she goes out of her way to flash the only assets she has in order to mesmerize the adolescent boys who are being introduced to something radically different from what I was in the 70’s.

Box Sets that compile older titles usually just make me cringe. Think about it. Recycled discs, tired old movies, and a fancy somewhat new box cover. In other words, I get to sleep for 4-5 hours and then wake up in a cold sweat wondering what happened. Alright; so that just sounds like my first honeymoon. Anyway, I happened to get the Partying 101 Boxset (because I am a wild and crazy guy) which featured Bio-Dome, Back to School and PCU. These are the old MGM discs from 8 to 10 years ago. Be afraid.

I'm not much of a soccer fan. I played a few years as a kid, for a local community club, but quit well before puberty. I almost never watch it on TV, even when the World Cup bandwagon rolls around. The only players I can name are Pelé, Beckham and Hamm. And Knightley, but I suppose the Bend it Like Beckham star doesn't count.

With my limited knowledge and appreciation of the game, I didn't expect much from this HBO documentary. Sure, I know sports stories can be dramatic and exciting, but the U.S. Women's Soccer Team? Not my first choice of subjects. Imagine my surprise when I became totally engrossed in the inspiring story of these women who gave their all when hardly anyone cared, who fought through all kinds of adversity, who dared to dream.

"Find out what happens when cartoon characters stop being polite...and start making out in hot tubs". The legendary kiss between Clara and Foxxy highlighted Season 1 and with the recent release of Season 2 on dvd, the Drawn Together cast is back for more adult fun. Drawn Together is the cartoon show that parodies reality shows by using parodies of classic cartoon characters. There are characters like Captain Hero who is a parody of Superman and many other super hero types. Or Ling-Ling who is a spoof of Pikachu from Pokemon. But these aren't normal; they are very perverse, stereotypical, and deviant characters.

Family Ties is likely remembered most as the series that launched the career of Michael J. Fox. There’s no question that he owes a great debt to Alex Keaton. It’s almost a bit awkward now to watch him as this young, extremely conservative teenager after Fox has spent so much of his life as a liberal poster boy in the last couple of elections. Politics aside, it’s hard not to credit his performances in Family Ties and the Back To The Future films for launching him into a well deserved lucrative career. The Michael J. Fox issue, however, might hide some of the other assets the show had going for it in its time.

Shout Factory has begun to release DVD editions of Elvira’s Movie Macabre, the cult hit TV show from the 80s wherein our curvaceous goth host makes off-colour jokes and pokes fun, during the commercial breaks, of the movies she’s showing. Up on the chopping block in this set are Gamera, Super Monster and They Came From Beyond Space.

Since Mystery Science Theater 3000 came to an end, fans have been having to make do with various second-best replacements. The most obvious one has been Mike Nelson’s solo commentaries on the likes of Reefer Madness and House on Haunted Hill. Though his efforts have been amusing, they have like the lunatic fun generated when he had Tom Servo and Crow to bounce off. With The Film Crew releases, we have the closest thing yet to a return of MST3K, as Nelson is reunited with Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett (who were the ‘bots). Playing themselves, they are a trio of working joes whose job is to provide commentary tracks to undeserving films. We don’t see their silhouettes, but we hear their exchanges over the course of the film. The result is pretty damn funny.

Detective “Iron” Mike Stone (Karl Malden) is a seasoned veteran of the San Francisco Police Department. He’s an old fashioned no nonsense detective whose life has taken some bitter turns of late. Much to his aggravation he gets partnered with Keller (Michael Douglas), a green detective who hasn’t lost his belief that he can make a difference. Together they just might be able to teach each other something. Before long the two develop a teacher/mentor relationship that works well enough to solve the cases and get the bad guys.

My mother was a big fan of The Untouchables. I think she really just had a crush on Robert Stack. Years later when Stack was hosting Unsolved Mysteries, I could swear that I heard her murmur a few Ness lines under her breath. I was entirely too young to remember even the syndicated run that my mother was watching in the late 1960’s. Under more normal circumstances that would not matter as I could introduce myself to this world with the DVD release. That was before 1987, and the release of Brian De Palma’s classic film. Honestly, I simply can’t watch these episodes without thinking of that movie. For an entire generation that film has defined these characters and that time.