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Loving Annabelle

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 5th, 2007

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You may have heard this one before. Annabelle (Erin Kelly, channelling Leelee Sobieski) is the hellraising daughter of a US Senator, sent to a Catholic girls’ school to be out of sight and out of trouble. Her rebellious ways continue, however, and she falls in love with her poetry teacher Simone (Diane Gaidry). Much angst, particularly on Simone’s part, ensues, not to mention inevitable walks on the beach and much Lilith Fair-style musical noodlings (our heroines would clearly die of shock if they had a run-in with Maria Beatty), before the consummation and the rather sudden ending of the movie arrive.

The Promise

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 2nd, 2007

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On its surface, The Promise seems to have a good pedigree backing it up. You’ve got the guy who directed Farewell, My Concubine and the cinematographer of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, combining forces for a Chinese film that is epic in scope, similar to the Zhang Yimou films Hero and House of Flying Daggers.

The problem with The Promise is that the story rambles a bit, and the characters are ones that you don’t care about. The stunts aren’t even breathtaking either, as the visual effects are apparently done with wires and green screens, and can be made out so obviously, they lack the magic and wonder of the Yimou films, or even other films like Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle.
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World Trade Center

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 30th, 2006

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Comments on the supplemental material on this edition have been ported over from Ryan Erb’s excellent (and recent) review of the HD DVD, which also can be enjoyed on this site.Â Now onto this review…

Remember when it was announced that far-left conspiracy theorist (and resident Castro admirer) Oliver Stone would be making a film about the September 11 attacks? Of course you do. In fact, the collective pucker of the nation tightened in horror and trepidation when the notion was first thrown around, and later grew in suspicion as the film’s realization became closer and closer.
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Material Girls (2006)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 29th, 2006

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Hilary Duff vehicle Material Girls hit theatres in August 2006, and failed miserably. That fact was my only comfort while I wasted 98-minutes of my life watching this movie.

I fully expected to dislike this teeny-bop flick, but I was actually surprised by just how bad it actually was. Hilary Duff and sister Haylie probably wish they’d never made this movie, though I imagine the paycheck would make up for this blotch on their filmography. I’m hoping the same is true for Angelica Huston (The Royal Tenenbaums) and Brent Spiner (Star Trek’s Data), who play cringe-worthy supporting roles.
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Mozart & The Whale

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 22nd, 2006

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In case Rain Man didn’t give you your fill of films about autistic characters, Ron Bass, writer of Rain Man, has decided to give us an unnecessary sequel. OK, this isn’t really a sequel, but it might as well be. Honestly, this film has everything Rain Man had except for a good scripts, solid performances, and oh yeah, Dustin Hoffman. Still, this romantic nonsense utilizes the same theme. Unfortunately autism here is reduced at times to stereotyping that appears grossly unfair to the millions of people who suffer from the disability and their loved ones.
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World Trade Center (HD DVD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 22nd, 2006

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Everyone in the world knows about the September 11 terrorist attacks on the United States. With films hitting the big screen in 2006, I guess the studios thought time enough had gone by to start making movies on the tragedy. World Trade Center is based on the attacks on the World Trade Center, as obvious by its name, but makes mention of the other attacks of the day. I canï¿½t comment on the realism of the movie pertaining to the individuals depicted in the film (John McLoughlin and Will Jimeno) but they were involved with the production of the film, and since film is based on their accounts of the day I could imagine itï¿½s very realistic. There are a few factual inaccuracies regarding some of the events of the day, but nothing major.
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Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas (HD DVD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 20th, 2006

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Director Ron Howard is quite the puzzling man. He surely knows how to direct a fine film like A Beautiful Mind or even The Da Vinci Code, but still knows how to give us that random piece of crap. When word came that Howard was going to adapt Dr. Seussï¿½ timeless classic How The Grinch Stole Christmas, I immediately questioned why? After all wasnï¿½t the TNT special that airs oh 40-50 times a year good enough? I guess not for Hollywood as the 2000 remake made some serious bank with Jim Carrey portraying the lead character. The only unfortunate part here is that the film is absolutely horrendous.
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Lonesome Jim

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 20th, 2006

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Some films never achieve greatness, but still manage to leave their viewers with a wry smile, and a “that wasn’t so bad, I’m glad I watched it” mentality. Lonesome Jim from IFC Films is one such motion picture. Starring Casey Affleck and Liv Tyler and directed by Steve Buscemi, this is one mood-swinging comedy that will lull you into complacency, then occasionally drop large hilarious bombs into the experience when least expected. Centered on a depressing, tight-lipped, tell-it-like-it-is, loner, who is for…
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Fish Called Wanda, A

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 18th, 2006

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A Fish Called Wanda returns to DVD, this time in a stunning 2-disc collector’s edition that finally gives adequate treatment to one of the funniest surprises of the eighties. John Cleese stars as an English barrister, whose life is so dull and – well, British – that a seductress/jewel thief named Wanda comes along and steals his heart in record time. But Wanda carries a lot of baggage with her, the heaviest piece being a Nietzche-quoting moron, who just so happens to be her psychotic boyfriend. Add an anima…
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The Wild

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 16th, 2006

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If there’s something that bothers me about the wave of digital films for children’s entertainment nowadays, it’s that anyone who has a Mac and good enough software feels compelled to make a movie, no matter how much it sucks. And Disney (or Dreamworks) or another studio will put enough marketing money behind it to make anyone want to watch it.

How can you tell how good or bad it will be? Well, if it’s not a Pixar film, you can generally tell by the cast that is brought in to do voice work for it. In the case of The Wild, Samson the Lion (Kiefer Sutherland, 24) lives in the New York zoo with his son Ryan (hey, that’s me! But really it’s Greg Cipes, John Tucker Must Die).
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The Oh in Ohio

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 16th, 2006

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Maybe you guys don’t remember the Blake Edwards romantic comedies of the ’70s and ’80s like 10 or even Skin Deep, but I’d even go so far as to say that when it clicks, The Oh in Ohio is much in the same vein of those comedies. Anyone notice the disclaimer?

Anyway for those that missed it, Priscilla Chase (Parker Posey, Superman Returns) is a successful businesswoman in Cleveland who is married to Jack (Paul Rudd, Anchorman), a high school teacher in the area.
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National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (HD DVD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 12th, 2006

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The Griswolds, a household name for a series of National Lampoon comedyï¿½s beginning with Vacation and most recently Vegas Vacation. Few of us could say these iconic characters havenï¿½t left an impression in our minds. I was happy when I heard that Christmas Vacation was going to be released on HD DVD, a true Christmas classic in high definition. With many memorable scenes associated with Christmas, is this classic worth the purchase in HD?
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Once Upon a Girl

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 7th, 2006

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In a live action sequence, Mother Goose (Hal Smith in drag) is hauled before the court to account for herself. She proceeds to inflame the passions of those present with a series of raunchy tales. These are animated, and we find out what Jack really found up on that beanstalk, how Cinderella really impressed the Prince, and what sort of, er, encounters a not-so-Little Red Riding Hood had on her way to Grandma’s house.There is some wit here (see the coda to Cinderella’s story, for instance), but for the most part, the film is (surprise, surprise) crude in every sense of the word.
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Taps – 25th Anniversary Special Edition

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 6th, 2006

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I remember that this film was all the rage when I was a kid growing up in the early 80’s. I always assumed that the reason that I didn’t care for the film at the time was that I was just too young to fully appreciate it. Turns out, it’s just not a very good movie. I certainly appreciate where it is trying to go, it’s just that it takes the hokiest path possible to get there. The film tells the story of a military academy that is slated to be shut down and turned into condominiums. The cadets, who apparently enjoy the fact that they are in military school, are so proud of the institution that they use their minimal combat training to hold off the developers.
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Rocky

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 5th, 2006

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I donï¿½t recall when I first saw Rocky, and I havenï¿½t kept track of how many times Iï¿½ve seen it since. The answers are probably ï¿½15 years agoï¿½ and ï¿½more than 10 timesï¿½, but accuracy isnï¿½t important. What is important for you to know, is that Sylvester Stalloneï¿½s masterpiece is one of my favourite films of all time.

In other words, I love this movie, so donï¿½t expect any criticism until at least the ï¿½videoï¿½ section of this review. I donï¿½t deny that there may be aspects of Rocky that merit denigration, I just refuse to let anything distract me from what I consider to be the ultimate inspirational story.
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Corpse Bride (HD DVD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 3rd, 2006

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The plot of Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride, although simple, provides a very enjoyable experience throughout its entirety. Johnny Depp does a tremendous job brining his character to life, as does the rest of the cast.

Set in a dark Victorian era city, Corpse Bride is the tale of an arranged marriage between Victor Van Dort (Johnny Depp) the son of fishmongers, and Victoria Everglot (Emily Watson) the daughter of aristocrats. Victor is very hesitant of the marriage, of course until he meets the cha…
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Accepted (HD DVD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 1st, 2006

When I first heard of the film Accepted I immediately thought of Camp Nowhere. Both films have a similar plot – that of kids convincing their parents of a fake place that they’re all going to. Accepted is a modern version of the aforementioned film, but lacks the overall humor that Camp Nowhere gave us.

When Bartleby Gaines is turned down by every single college he applied to he decides to make up a sister school to Harmon College simply named South Harmon Institute of Technolog…
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John Tucker Must Die

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 30th, 2006

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John Tucker Must Die has all of the elements of an average teen movie: a high school setting, an unrealistically attractive cast, cliques, and the list goes on. That’s my way of saying I can’t think of any other obvious teen movie stuff, so fill in whatever comes to your mind and I’m sure it’ll fit just fine.

If it looks and sounds like a duck, then it probably is an average teen movie, right? Right. I may have skipped a step there, but the point is you shouldn’t expect anything special from John …
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Little Athens

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 27th, 2006

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Iï¿½m never up on the film festival scene, so itï¿½s no surprise to me that Iï¿½ve only just discovered Tom Zuberï¿½s Little Athens, even though it was an official selection of the Toronto Film Festival back in 2005.

My three favourite things about this movie are its strong cast, solid story and the unique cinematography. Actually, make it four things, because the soundtrack is also pretty excellent.

First, the cast. Little Athens is definitely an ensemble film, and every actor in this one is solid.
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Strangers With Candy

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 25th, 2006

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Synopsis

Back when it first aired on Comedy Central in a previous incarnation as a television series, Strangers With Candy was an interesting enough premise. Take a menopausally challenged, recently released prisoner named Jerri Blank (Amy Sedaris, Elf) who decides to return home for the first time in over three decades to try and get a new start and throw her into high school. Now, not knowing how good or bad the show did, it must have had some sort of following, because there’s a movie out …
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You, Me and Dupree (HD DVD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 23rd, 2006

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I’ll come right out and say it. I don’t see what the big deal is with actor Owen Wilson. Sure he was funny in Wedding Crashers, but he always seems to play that super annoying character in his films that you just want to hate, but seemingly can’t sometimes feel sorry for. Such is the case in his recent 2006 affair with Kate Hudson and Matt Dillon entitled You, Me and Dupree.

Carl (Matt Dillon) and Molly (Kate Hudson) have just gotten married in the beautiful Hawaii islands. Dupree (Owen Wilso…
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Waterworld (HD DVD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 21st, 2006

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For nearly eleven years now, I’ve heard nothing but horrendous comments about Kevin Costner’s post-apocalyptic film Waterworld. Critics and audiences alike have torn this film a new one, claiming that the film was boring and full of so many holes that it literally swallows itself. While I didn’t absolutely love the film, it surely surprised the hell out of me as I found it to be rather entertaining.

The basic plot of the film goes something like this. The unknown future has arrived along with the me…
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Under Siege (HD DVD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 16th, 2006

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Steven Seagal has never been able to do it for me, that probably explains why this is the first time I have ever seen this movie. Upon reading the back it seemed to have potential, the first thing I notice on the back was the comment “Die Hard on a battleship”. That’s a bold statement as Die Hard is one of the best action movies ever made, having all the core elements.

It’s the fiftieth anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor as the movie begins, and it’s the final voyage of the USS Missouri. …
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Save the Last Dance 2

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 15th, 2006

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I never saw the original film, so I won’t be able to offer any insight on how this film might compare or continue the story set down by Save The Last Dance. What I can say for certain is that this direct to video release isn’t worth the 86 minutes it takes to watch it. The film begins with the first film’s Sarah (now Miko). In a video much like one provided for a dating service, she’s telling us how she feels about various things. These are her highlights and already I don’t care. She is apparently headed to Jullia…
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Satan’s Playground

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 14th, 2006

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Synopsis

A dysfunctional family unit (single mother and infant, her sister and loutish husband, their autistic teen) are travelling through rural New Jersey when their car gets stuck. One after another, they head off to seek help, only to knock on the door of the sinister Mrs. Leeds and her homicidally retarded crew. And if that weren’t bad enough, there’s some kind of monster flapping through the woods.

Writer/director Dante Tomaselli has assembled a mixture of The Texas Chainsaw Massac…
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