1.85:1 Widescreen

Madea’s Family Reunion

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 25th, 2006

Synopsis

Tyler Perry once again dons multiple costumes to incarnate several characters, most prominently Madea, the no-nonsense but mischievous matriarch of a very fractious family. She is ordered by the court to take in a runaway as a foster child, and that project of reclamation joins that of helping out her nieces. They have a mother from hell. One sister is struggling to learn how to love again, while the other is being forced into marriage with the hideously abusive Blair Underwood.

I …
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Aquamarine

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 15th, 2006

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Lately, I’ve been wondering out loud about what will happen to these over-produced teen pop stars who are thrown all this media exposure by their parents (to the point of exploitation). When are we going to start seeing some Playboy or Maxim photo shoots? When are we going to see someone on Cinemax After Dark, or even Night Calls? I mean, it’s obvious at this point that Ashley Simpson can’t sing, and she’s starting to look more and more like her sister in an attempt to become her, without the appeal. And since there’s a rumor floating around that she turned down a multimillion dollar Playboy photo shoot (after the proverbial “great deal of thought”), it seems to be the next logical step.
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On a Clear Day

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 15th, 2006

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Frank (Peter Mullan, Braveheart) has been designing and building ships in a British shipyard for 36 years. Suddenly and very cruelly, Frank is let go without any pension or prospects, and is left wondering what to do. An attempt at job searching finds him virtually at the feet of his sister-in-law, so he is basically left to walk around this nameless London suburb stunned and unsure of what to do with himself.
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Match Point

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 6th, 2006

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This is the first Woody Allen film I’ve ever seen.

Something always put me off about the guy. Maybe his infamous personal life plays a part in my not wanting to explore Allen’s cinematic offerings, but I would chalk up my ignorance to Allen’s physical appearance. Shallow, I know. But he’s a little nub of a man who has self-indulgently cast himself as the romantic lead in most of his films. But whatever, he’s a respected filmmaker and the responsibility of being a film buff requires me to keep an open mind -…
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The Sisters (2005)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 6th, 2006

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OK, so I’ve gotta admit that I’m a little bit of an uncultured boob who is not that familiar with the writings of Russian Anton Chekhov. In fact I know a little bit more about Andrei Tarkovsky (Solaris) then anything else, and that Chekhov was (and still is) an influential force in dramatic works today. Well, he has to be if his work “The Three Sisters” gets adapted into a play by Richard Alfieri, then into a film starring a capable and recognizable cast, right?
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Ultraviolet

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 6th, 2006

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There is no shortage of vampire stories out there. There’s certainly no shortage of kick butt chicks dressed as sparsely as possible running around in depressed future populated worlds. Underworld, without a doubt, does the combination better than anyone. Ultraviolet makes a grand attempt that really ends up being more of a ride than anything else. Now, I can usually follow the most convoluted storylines, but this one gave me some trouble. It seems that while trying to create a super soldier (where is Mulder and Scully when you need them) the government made a big oops and created something akin to a vampire.
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Tristan & Isolde

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 26th, 2006

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Let’s face it. Movies released in January usually aren’t very good. Yes, some of these movies are Oscar hopefuls that are released nation-wide, but only after being released in selected cities to quality for those Oscars. No, we’re talking about stinking piles of crap like Uwe Boll’s Bloodrayne here. Being that January is Hollywood’s cinematic dumping ground, it comes as no surprise that Tristan & Isolde was released during this very same month in 2006.

Delayed for nearly a year, Tristan & …
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About Schmidt

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 26th, 2006

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Jack Nicholson can make a convincing case for being one of the greatest actors of all time. He’s had his share of memorable moments in movies, with quoted lines etched in our brains. It took a while for me to get “You can’t handle the truth!” out of my head. He has also turned in outstanding performances in lesser known movies that have shown his range and dramatic ability. Alternate viewing recommendations to see Jack in action include Hoffa and The Pledge, among a variety of others….In About Schmidt, the follow-up effort by Alexander Payne (Election), Jack strips away the sunglasses, the eyebrow and the devilish grin, puts on 20 pounds, and gives us a performance that some have labeled as career defining.
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Ryna

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 25th, 2006

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I watched Ryna while my wife watched Shopgirl on the TV. And aside from watching Ryna because I thought it was going to be a film about a DVD reviewer whose name is misspelled, there were a lot more differences between the two films. As far as I could tell, Shopirl appeared to be about a girl with Downï¿½s Syndrome who falls in love with her Dad but reconsiders at the end (whoops, my wife tells me that Iï¿½ve got it wrong), Ryna is about a girl who tries to rise above being repressed because of her gender.
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Private Resort

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 24th, 2006

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The sad thing about building a strong acting career is one usually has to take on roles better forgotten to get to the pinnacle of success. I’m sure Johnny Depp still has the occasional nightmare of being associated with Private Resort (on an artistic level anyway); and he is about to be reminded of this forgotten-with-good-reason teen sex comedy as Sony debuts it in the digital format just in time for summer. The release Sony offers bills Depp as the main star, and while his role is substantial, the film is m…
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Trainspotting

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 20th, 2006

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I’ve seen people quote this film from time to time, and I never understood the attraction because I saw it once and forgot about it. After a bit of intrigue, I finally got my hands on a copy of the US version of this 2 disc set (though the UK version, with the orange cover and silhoulette image of Ewan McGregor on the cover looks much cooler) and gave it a spin, lo and behold, I discovered a pretty good movie.
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Dave Chappelle’s Block Party

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 13th, 2006

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Utter the words ‘Dave Chappelle’ or ‘The Chappelle Show’ to any person and odds are they will think of the ‘Lil’ Jon’ skit or the ultra famous “I’m Rick James, bitch”. While this one joke doesn’t even come close to the charm and humor that Dave Chappelle had on his once popular ‘Chappelle Show’ on Comedy Central, it still has become the most popular joke. But enough about that and more about the actual film at hand.

Dave Chappelle’s Block Party takes place around September of 2004, which was before …
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Failure to Launch

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 12th, 2006

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In Failure to Launch, Trip (Matthew McConaughey) is a 35-year-old man who still lives with his parents. His parents simply want him out of the house, which doesn’t seem so harsh considering his age. So what do they do? Why, they simply decide to hire a woman named Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker) to assist them. Paula, you see, is a specialist in helping grown men move out of their parents’ homes. I didn’t even think such a job existed. Well, Paula, we soon learn, has a very simple method that usually guarantees h…
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Guardian of the Realm

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 11th, 2006

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Synopsis

A group of occultists horsing around with more than they know accidentally open up an evil portal and unleash a terrible force upon the world. Fortunately, there’s an organization of Demon Hunters on the job, determined to send this evil and all if its minions back where they came from.

We’re in sub-sub-sub-Buffy territory here. Like that series, the film has a fair amount of self-deprecating humour. Numerous jokes fall completely flat, but there are still a few that raise a chuckl…
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Culpepper Cattle Company, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 7th, 2006

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The Culpepper Cattle Company was a surprise for me, and one that I looked forward to immensely. I love a good western, and I’m particularly fond of anything post-Leone. A western doesn’t have to be spaghetti, however, for me to like it. I just feel that, for all Sergio’s overblown proportions, he did instill an accurate degree of nastiness in his films, which I’m sure was prevalent in that time of American history. Once Sergio came, westerns grew up, even if they were playing closer to the American style of fi…
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Puff, Puff, Pass

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 6th, 2006

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It’s hard to tell what Ronnie Warner and Kent George were trying to accomplish when they perpetrated Puff, Puff, Pass on the video rental public, but hopefully, they will discover it takes a little more work to write a funny script than cobbling together every stupid pot joke and lame religious blasphemy they can think of into a coherent script. Think “lame sitcom trying to be edgy for 95 minutes,” and you’ll have exactly what this film turns out to be. Featuring six stars from various TV shows – with Mekhi Ph…
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Return to Me/At First Sight (Double Feature)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 4th, 2006

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A long time ago, Sony owned the MGM video library (before Fox picked it up for impending HD-DVD/Blu-Ray Wars) and re-released some films as Special Editions, and combined others as part of convenient two-packs. This is an example of the latter, perhaps as some sort of romantic two-pack that’s easy on the wallet but heavy on the heart.

At First Sight is directed by Irwin Winkler (Night and the City) and tells the tale of Virgil Adamson (Val Kilmer, Real Genius) who has been blind all of his life.
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Back Door to Hell

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 2nd, 2006

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Monte Hellman filmed Back Door To Hell back to back with his better known Flight To Fury. This early Jack Nicholson film plays out very much like the throwaway it seems to have been. It’s certainly a brief affair, clocking in at just 69 minutes. Low budget films can often be impressive masterpieces. I have never seen a war film where that’s been true. After watching Back Door To Hell, nothing’s changed. The location and supporting cast make this at times feel more like Mexico than the Philippines. The settings are strictly back lot looking affairs, even when they are not.
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Doogal

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 1st, 2006

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Follow Doogal and friends as they try to save their lush green world from the clutches of the evil jack-in-the-box Zeebad (Jon Stewart) in this CGI family film that completely misses the mark. Though G-Rated – and obviously of inferior intellect – the film tries to be witty and smart with a ton of stale pop culture references its target audience will not come close to grasping. Sure, the adults will get them, but once they do, the question becomes, what do we do with them? Another “Can’t Touch This” MC Hammer referen…
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Bazaar Bizarre

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 31st, 2006

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Synopsis

This is an odd fish. It’s a documentary about Bob Berdella, who raped, tortured, killed and dismembered six men in the late 80’s. Director Benjamin Meade combines interviews with the investigators, the prosecutor, a survivor and Berdella himself with gruesome recreations of the crimes, an expectedly hard-boiled narration from James Ellroy, and incongruous performances of songs by the rock band “Demon Dogs.” The result is certainly interesting, but it jumps around so much that it can become h…
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Separate Lies

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 30th, 2006

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Written for the screen and directed by Julian Fellowes (Gosford Park), Separate Lies tells the story of James (Tom Wilkinson, Batman Begins), a high powered lawyer in London who lives in the countryside with his wife Anne (Emily Watson, Breaking the Waves). They have the perfect English house and a dog to match. One day, Anne meets William (Rupert Everett, Shrek 2) and has an affair with him, which turns the trio’s lives around in a way that they’d never expect.>
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Andre the Butcher

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 30th, 2006

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Synopsis

On their way to a regional competition, a group of cheerleaders have a car accident, and wander into the rural landscape to look for help. They come across an apparently abandoned house. Two escaped convicts also find that house, and take two of the girls hostage, but soon everybody has a bigger problem in the shape of a hulking killer, Andre the Butcher, who has all sorts of supernatural powers as well as plenty of sharp blades.

Any movie that casts Ron Jeremy as a mad slasher has…
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Van Helsing (HD DVD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 30th, 2006

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In Stephen Sommers’ Van Helsing, we meet Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) who is a professional monster-killer with a sidekick named Carl. Van Helsing must first track down Mr. Hyde who lives in the Notre Dame Cathedral and, sometimes, likes to venture outside for the occasional murder here and there. After completing this basic mission, Van Helsing is sent to the famous Transylvania to deal with Frankenstein’s Monster where he meets Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale). Anna and her brother Velkan represent the…
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Rumor Has It…

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 27th, 2006

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It seems like I keep saying this, but here we go again… Jennifer Anniston is way too good of an actress to be stuck in this film. Now, that’s certainly not to imply that Shirley Maclaine isn’t fantastic as well, but that’s a given. Anniston is clearly the star of this film, and it’s easy to see what attracted her to it. Not only is it a romantic comedy directed by Rob Reiner, but the premise is a really clever one. While in town for her sister’s wedding, Sarah (Anniston) discovers that her family was the inspirati…
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Fugitive, The (HD DVD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 22nd, 2006

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The Fugitive, since its’ original release in 1993, has always been seen by a majority of people as the defining thriller of the 1990’s. The film stars Harrison Ford as Dr. Richard Kimble. Kimble, a very well known Chicago doctor, has just been framed for killing his wife. He claims a one-armed man killed her, which prompts nearly everyone to laugh at him. Kimble is immediately arrested and sentenced to death in a cold courtroom scene that doesn’t even give Kimble time to defend himself.

Kimble is th…
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