Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 22nd, 2009
This was the final of Miramax 4 martial arts classics released as a collection or separately on Blu-ray. The collection featured some extraordinary action and top line star power for the most part. Zatoichi, for the most part, is the weakest of the four films. It is almost a solo effort by renowned Japanese actor Takeshi Kitano. He participated in writing the script. He is also the director, editor, and star of this rather off the wall martial arts film. The character of Zatoichi has appeared in many films and is as much a part of martial arts culture as Jackie Chan. Kitano does quite a superb job in portraying the blind swordsman, but it is in the other areas that he falls considerably short of the intended mark. Instead of reaching for the classic staples of the genre, he decides to take this tale in a far more fantastical direction. Swords blaze with such speed it’s impossible to really appreciate the skills, because you never actually see the sword. It’s out, slice and dice, and resheathed all in a blink of an eye. Rather impressive the first 20 times it occurs in the film, but before long it’s merely an old punch line that’s been repeated one too many times by a desperate comedian who doesn’t really have anything else. It’s sad, really. Because, Kitano does have something else to offer, and we certainly get glimpses of that. In the end, however, Kitano pushes the boundaries too often for me to take this film seriously at all.
The film is really a Western guised in the form of a martial arts film. The plot rings of Clint Eastwood’s High Plains Drifter. When a blind masseur wonders into a village, he finds that it has been terrorized by a gang that extorts shop owners for protection and runs the local gambling and geisha houses. The blind drifter has startling skill with a sword he hides sheathed in his seeing eye cane. He has an uncanny ability to hear enough from his environment to counter any blow raised toward him and cut up his opponent quickly and quite efficiently. He meets up with Genosuke (Asano) who supplies the comic relief here. Genosuke is a degenerate gambler who can’t seem to catch a break in the local dice parlor. But he is impressed with the uncanny ability the masseur has of hearing the correct lay of the dice. The two of them clean up at the game. Deciding to spend some of their winnings at the geisha house, the pair meet two geisha girls who are actually more than meets the eye. They are the sole surviving children of a family slaughtered by the mob kingpin running the local gang. Together they plot to discover the identity of the boss and rid the village of the gang forever. The gang has employed the services of a very skilled samurai to enforce their will on the people. It doesn’t take much time to figure out that all of this is leading to a wild west style showdown between the samurai and the masseur.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on September 22nd, 2009
Written By Matthew Wiley
Good Dick follows a poor guy (Jason Ritter) living out of his car and working at a video store who takes a liking to one of the store’s customers, a lonely coffee shop girl who is not interested (Marianna Palka). One night after renting/recommending the girl some erotica, he decides to follow her home; he even parks his car across the street and sleeps outside of her apartment. He finally buzzes her apartment saying that he is with UPS to get into her building, later saying that his great aunt lives in her building. She is not a fan of his advances, but after a while and many attempts by him, the two develop a quirky relationship. She always acts mean towards him despite his generosity towards her. Even though she pushes him away all the time, he continues to be persistent. Eventually, the two begin watching porn together and he starts to sleep on her couch, one night winning a bizarre bet to sleep with her in her bed. After he tries to get her to meet his friends/coworkers, she begins to act crazy, much crazier than normal. It seems no matter what he tries to get her to like him, she always gets psychotic. Just when it seems that the two will make it together, she freaks out worse than the time before.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 22nd, 2009
It’s nice to see some of these staple films starting to reach the Blu-ray high definition releases. Unfortunately there really isn’t anything new here at all. The picture is an upgrade but not as outstanding as you might expect. The audio doesn’t really get much better at all. Finally, all of the extras are merely ported over standard definition pieces from the most recent DVD release. It’s the best way to go if you don’t already own the film, but not remarkable enough to warrant an upgrade from any but the most die hard fans. And they didn’t need this review to talk them into it. For the rest of you, here’s what you can expect.
The 70’s and 80’s were fertile ground for horror films. It was a new era of iconic monsters. Starting with Michael Myers and Jason, the trend that gave us Freddy seemed to be at the end of its run by the late 1980’s. Certainly sequels were still being churned out, but it seemed like we’d seen the last of these maniacal monsters, at least for a while. But before it petered out, the cycle would supply our nightmares with one more notable denizen…Chucky. Today Chucky paces the sidelines here in Tampa as the head coach of the local NFL franchise, but for the last 20 years it was the darkest alleyways of our dreams that Chucky prowled. Inhabited by the soul of a killer, Chucky was truly one of the “Good Guys”.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on September 21st, 2009
Only two social classes existed in the tiny town of Chekian, China, circa 1858: the peasant citizenry, and those who lived in the Governor’s palace. Lawlessness was the order of the day; the streets of Chekian crawled with scum and villainy of every degree, from pickpockets to kidnappers to roving gangs of thugs and extortionists. The worst of all was none other than Governor Cheng himself, the greedy and corrupt ruler of the town (James Wong). The governor’s latest profitable but nefarious practice: to hoard the town food supply and gouge the poor and starving for every sliver of their meager livings. Fortunately for these peasants, they have one advocate with the smarts and the guts to stand up for them: the mysterious Iron Monkey (Ronggaung Yu). To the Governor, he’s a masked rogue fit to be tortured when caught, but to the people he’s a saint clad in black, the Chinese Robin Hood or Zorro, a swashbuckling super ninja who employs his skills mainly in pilfering gold from the governor’s house, oftentimes from right under his nose.
The governor doesn’t just hate Iron Monkey, he’s absolutely terrified of him (as demonstrated in typical over-the-top, grindhouse kung-fu style histrionics). He’s gone to all sorts of measures in an effort to capture this righteous and elusive bandit, from doubling his private security staff, to setting elaborate traps, to hiring powerful but corrupt Shaolin monks. Try as he might, nothing works, and the Iron Monkey always escapes with his prize. Come hell or high water, Cheng is going to stop Iron Monkey once and for all. His underhanded technique uses the son of a Shaolin monk to get the father to promise to bring down the Monkey.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on September 21st, 2009
He’s one of the most compelling villains of modern fiction. Disturbing, disgusting and absolutely captivating at the same time, Hannibal Lecter can really get inside your head.You may not have read the novels by Thomas Harris, or even seen all of the films, but I’m willing to bet you’re familiar with The Silence of the Lambs. One of the greatest thrillers in film history, the film in which Sir Anthony Hopkins became Dr. Lecter is the cornerstone of this three-movie set.
The Hannibal Lecter Collection brings together – in chronological order – Michael Mann’s Manhunter, Jonathan Demme’s The Silence of the Lambs and Ridley Scott’s Hannibal. Film buffs will note the absence of Brett Ratner’s Red Dragon, essentially a remake of Manhunter. Unfortunately for any completists, MGM, the studio behind this set, doesn’t have the rights to Red Dragon, which is a Universal picture. In any case, these three films make a fantastic trilogy.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on September 14th, 2009
My senior year in high school was just the same as my junior year: stranger in a strange land. When looking back at the time that was spent, I spent more time with my nose in books and running from jocks. The reason why the jocks were upset at me more often than not? I was looking at their girls. In an attempt to find myself, I would pretend to be solving a Calculus problem (which eventually explained why I had to retake it in college) and instead fantasize about what it would be like to be with Miss Popular. I would eventually stop caring, the bruises would heal but I often thought what would have happened? Perhaps in a fantasy land, something like the film The Girl Next Door would have happened. Nah, probably not.
Matthew Kidman (played by Emile Hirsch) is everything a successful high school senior should be. He’s the class president, he’s been accepted to Georgetown, and he is eligible for a prestigious scholarship. But he wants to be like the popular guys and be able to hang out at the beach, skipping school and have a hot girl to be by his side. One day, he meets the girl of his dreams. Her name is Danielle (played by Elisha Cuthbert) and she is house sitting next door.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on September 13th, 2009
Originally titled, The Marconi Brothers,it has been retitled in what looks to be an attempt to leech off of the success of Wedding Crashers years after the fact (the DVD case even sports the tagline “The Original Crashers.” Whatever the title truly is, this film is about a pair of brothers who stumble from the mediocrity of being heirs to an independent, family-run carpet installing business to the mediocrity of video-taping weddings for a living. Such low ambitions in our protagonists breed boring results in this clunky comedy.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 2nd, 2009
“The following is based on a true story: There are currently over 200 boot camps similar to the tough love facilities in the world, housing tens of thousands of children. They operate with virtually no government regulation or oversight. Since the beginning of the tough love rehabilitation movement in the 1970’s hundreds of thousands of kids have gone through these or similar programs. There have been over 40 deaths in the camps. There are no statistics on how many lives have been irreparably damaged.”
The following review is based on a true viewing. Well… not exactly a true viewing at all. You see, Fox has seen fit to send us a non-final product screener of Boot Camp. That means a DVD-R in a sleeve. That also means plenty of compression artifact to go along with the 2.8 mbps bit rate we’re provided. Then there’s the wonderfully entertaining 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment logo that pops up from time to time to remind us who sent the dang thing. I guess you could call it boot camp for DVD reviewers. So, I should say that the following review is based on an almost true viewing.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on September 1st, 2009
Already languishing in the $6.99 bin at my local Blockbuster, and with dismal reviews on its release, my hopes for The Haunting of Molly Hartley were not high. However, after viewing the DVD I can safely report that the movie falls firmly into the ‘not anywhere as awful as I thought it was going to be’ category.
This is not an endorsement. The movie is by no means good, but nowhere near as wretched as I’d been set up to believe.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 19th, 2009
You know, I was watching this episode of the popular Showtime series Dexter the other night. There was this murder victim who had taken off work early to go and see a romantic comedy with his girlfriend. He ended up getting his head bashed in and dead. Is it saying something about my own bias that the first thing that came to my mind was that it was a lucky thing he got his skull caved in before he had to go to the romantic comedy? Romantic comedies. Chick flicks. Date movies. Whatever it is that you want to call them, ladies, they are the stuff of nightmares for your significant others. It might appear to be harmless enough fun for you girls out there, but for your guy? I guarantee he’s squirming in his seat the entire time. You do know that he doesn’t really have a bladder problem, don’t you? There’s a reason he has to go to the bathroom 20 times in those 2 hours. It’s even worse when we’re watching them at home. Here’s a helpful dating tip: Don’t ask him if he wants you to put it on pause on one of those 20 bathroom breaks. It might also be advisable to keep any sharp objects, firearms, or prescription drugs out of reach of your guy during date movie nights. There isn’t a guy out there who wouldn’t opt for a painful visit to the emergency room over another hour watching a romantic comedy. We’ll do it; after all a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. Just don’t forget the poor sap deserves to be amply rewarded when the film’s over. Now if you’re a guy and you find yourself, like me, watching this one by yourself…. not that there’s anything wrong with that… I hope you have a good reason. Mine is to write this here review. Just another bullet I take for you, my gentle readers.
Andie Anderson (Hudson) writes the “How To…” column for Composure Magazine, the fastest growing women’s magazine in the country. You know the kind of articles I’m talking about here: “How to talk your way out of a ticket”, “How to lose weight in 5 Days And Still Eat All You Want”. It’s those female lifestyle burning questions. But, Andi wants to write about more serious issues like politics and religion. Her editor (Neuwirth) promises her a shot at writing about what she wants if she turns in a killer article. She decides to call it “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days”. It’s a kind of dating tips in reverse. She’ll get a guy into her and then begin to pull out all of those don’t do’s in a relationship: acting clingy, whining, feminizing his apartment, dragging him to a Celine Dion concert, and one she forgot: taking him to see How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. Enter Ben Berry (McConaughey). He’s an ad executive who wants to land a hot new diamond account. He’s got to convince his boss and a couple of female coworkers that he understands women enough to lead the campaign. He makes a bet that he could get a woman to fall completely in love with him in just, you guessed it, 10 days. His coworkers will pick out a woman at random, and that’s Ben’s target. You already know where this is going, don’t you? The two hook up and begin their cross purposes campaigns, each without the other knowing. The usual romantic comedy moments ensue, and the two genuinely fall in love with each other. It’s all leading to the big diamond gala 10 days later. Both bosses are in attendance, and the secrets get out with the expected results.
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