2.35:1 Widescreen

Once in a blue moon, though, there’s a re-make that not only takes the original to a new level of appreciation, but actually improves upon it. In musical terms, it’s Ike and Tina’s “Proud Mary.” In the cinematic forum, Martin Scorsese’s 1991 re-work of the B-movie thriller Cape Fear is another.

Max Cady (Robert DeNiro, lost the Oscar to Anthony Hopkins) is a recent parolee, fresh out of the joint after serving a fourteen year stretch for aggravated assault. During his trial, his lawyer, public...defender Samuel Bowden (Nick Nolte, the rich man’s Gary Busey) had pled the charge down from rape and aggravated sexual battery, which could have earned Cady a death sentence. Why, then, would Cady have such a vendetta toward the man who may have saved his life? In his fourteen years in prison, Cady has basically done two things: covered his body in tattoos, mostly scriptural and threatening in nature, and learned to read law books. After his conviction, he dismissed Bowden and acted as his own attorney and found something in his file that he feels Sam buried, and has since focused every fiber of his being on one final goal: to make his lawyer pay for the fourteen years he lost. As soon as he is released, Cady immediately sets about getting his long-planned revenge with an almost Ahab-ian fervor, making Bowden and his family the white whale, the perpetrator of his anguish.

In 1927 Herbert Asbury published a book entitled The Gangs of New York: An informal history of the Underworld. This book would prove to be the inspiration for Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York. This film was originally supposed to start filming in the late 1970’s, and after numerous delays and many financial issues, the film finally came to fruition in 2002.

It is an epic film of staggering proportions about a little known part of the history of the United States and New York City. We follow a story filled with both real and fictional characters through the slums of the lower Manhattan’s Five Points. A young Irish immigrant played by Leonardo Dicaprio returns to the Five Points to seek revenge against the man who killed his father Bill Cutting played by Daniel Day Lewis.

Joyously unhinged and very inventive, O Brother Where Art Thou? is the latest film from the imaginative minds of the Coen brothers. Based very roughly (and loosely) on Homer’s “Odyssey”, it’s a Depression-era musical about three convicts who escape from a chain gang to unearth a buried treasure, get one of the men home to be reunited with his wife, become overnight musical sensations as “The Soggy Bottom Boys”, and at the same time, elude a bloodthirsty team of Mississippi lawmen. For those of you who don’t ...uite remember Homer’s tale, it doesn’t really matter too much here. However, for those interested in a quick history lesson, Homer composed “The Odyssey” around 700 B.C. as the epic poem takes place over a decade and focuses on Odysseus (aka Ulysses) and his journey home to his wife Penelope after fighting in the Trojan War.

The main character is a loquacious, debonair fellow named Ulysses Everett McGill (George Clooney) who is part of a Mississippi chain gang during the Depression. When he's not slicking back his locks with Dapper Dan hair pomade, admiring the pencil-line precision of his Smilin' Jack mustache, or squeezing nine-dollar words out of his 50-cent brain, he continually thinks he has it all figured out. Ulysses uses the lure of a bogus hidden treasure to con two of his simple-minded chain-gang buddies into escaping with him. He takes charge of this gang because, as he tells his cohorts, he “has the capacity for abstract thought”. Our other tragic heroes in this tale are Pete Hogwallop (John Turturro) and Delmar O'Donnel (Tim Blake Nelson), who make a getaway that seems far easier than the one Ulysses himself made from the ashes of Troy. Out on the lam, they encounter a series of obstacles and lucky breaks, bizarre characters and aberrations of nature.

I could sit here and type away for hours, deconstructing the finer points (using the term loosely) of the latest Ice Cube project, All About the Benjamins, were I so inclined. I could tell you about Bucum the bounty hunter (Cube), his target-turned-partner Reggie (Mike Epps, otherwise known as “Hey, that isn’t Chris Tucker!”) losing a sixty million-dollar lottery ticket and accidentally learning about a diamond heist while being relentlessly pursued. I could tell you about Bucum’s complicated motivation for ...anting to solve the diamond heist and ensuing murders before the Miami PD (after all, it’s all about the Benjamins!). I could tell you all about the chase scenes featuring several bazookas, a ridiculous dog track sequence, or a scene lifted right out of Scarface, the last surprising no one. I believe that when a rapper hits it big, a poster of Scarface comes in the “Opulence for Beginners” kit that the producers of MTV Cribs provides, so I suppose some of them must have actually seen the movie. I could try all of that, or I could save us both the time, and boil it down to this: All About the Benjamins is basically 48 hrs + Miami Vice. If you’ve seen one buddy comedy with a tough guy and a funnyman, you’ve seen them all. To that end, you’ve seen All About The Benjamins.

Of course, it would be irresponsible of me to simply assert that “this movie sucked,” and move on. Besides the lukewarm jokes, predictably bad action sequences and some extremely annoying characters (cough MIKE EPPS cough), one aspect of the Benjamins juts out as jarringly bad: Mr. Bray’s direction of this boat wreck. Bray’s directorial roots are in music videos, and if no one ever told you, you’d STILL know it beyond a reasonable doubt. One can recognize the frenetic fast cut style from a mile off. Certain sequences are repeated several times over, even though they only actually occur once (i.e., someone throws the diamonds in the air three times), a technique that becomes annoying the second time it’s used. Of course, there are plenty of girls in bikinis, fancy cars, camera angles right out of Batman: The TV show, and finally, every single action sequence seems to be in slow motion. Ice Cube running toward the camera? Slow motion. Gun flying through the air? Slow motion. Bad guy exiting car? Slow motion. Boat speeding across the Biscayne Bay? Slow motion. Mike Epps looking in the refrigerator? You guessed it: slow motion.