Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 29th, 2008
Visits – “an anthology of bone-chilling horror”? Well, it has its moments, I will say that. The most effective scenes are the ones that don’t call attention to the scare elements. Scenes that involve one or two little things out of the ordinary that don’t smack you in the face, but actually force a double-take in considering what it was you just saw – that’s when this quartet of horror tales is at its peak. Too many hack horror movies nowadays come pre-packaged for disaster, placing all their little synthetic jumps in the same places they’ve always put them, signifying to the audience, “It’s okay to be scared now.” What happened to films like Bob Clark’s original Black Christmas, where the director lays it all out and lets the audience use its brain to decide what is (and isn’t) scary?
I blame Carpenter’s Halloween, with its simple, creepy musical score, and its stunning musical “stabs.” Grant it, Halloween did this effectively. But that’s because Carpenter knew what the hell he was doing. Unfortunately, the imitators that came after did not.
Posted in: Brain Blasters by David Annandale on December 26th, 2008
First, let me wish my fellow site scribes and whoever might be reading this the best of the season. Now I should turn to the painful task of following up my speculative piece a couple of weeks ago about what might go wrong with the remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, a blockbuster whose success is so anemic that, a few years from now, it will certainly have lapsed into sufficient obscurity that whatever profile it might still have will be the result of masochists voluntarily subjecting themselves to its inanities. It will, in other words, have become a cult film, but of the sort where the cult’s loyalty is the loyalty of absolute contempt.
My concern leading up to seeing the film was that the need to provide big-bang FX would overwhelm the story itself. In this, I was both right and wrong. Yes, the grand spectacle is saved up for the end of the film, but as spectacles go, it isn’t all that impressive. And there is enough flash during the rest of the film to keep those jonesing for eye candy satiated. Keanu Reeves, meanwhile, acquits himself honorably as Klaatu, quite convincingly coming across as an alien in a human body. Where the film fails, and fails in jaw-dropping manner, is at the level of the script.
Posted in: Dare to Play the Game, News and Opinions by Michael Durr on December 24th, 2008
Death to the Clamshell, Guitar Hero: Metallica Edition & Breath of Fire dismissed? - Welcome to the column that Santa Claus brought three non-working N64’s, two suspended WoW accounts and no Morgan Webb in a pear tree known as Dare to Play the Game.
This weekend I beat Fable II. Now, many beat this game a long time ago but I was taking my time. I wanted to be in line for certain achievements and my hard work payed off. As a result of buying Giles’ farm, I found myself to be the recipient of a wonderful weapon. Ever see Army of Darkness? I got me what can only be described as a boomstick. The thing has a short range but does double the damage of any normal gun. I figured I would take the thing into the Crucible for a little test. Twenty minutes and eight perfect rounds later I had me another legendary weapon, the Chopper. However, for melee I stuck to my master cleaver with an augment that gave me health back for everytime I sliced and diced. Level 5 Inferno didn’t hurt either.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 22nd, 2008
Let me begin by saying that I was a child of the 1970’s, which tends to make me approach these era shows with some caution. After such shows as That 70’s Show, to name the likely most popular, I find myself not recognizing the setting as the same 70’s I remember living. Granted I was pretty young, so the subject of swingers and sexual revolution were not exactly part of my everyday culture. So, I might be a little more forgiving if Swingtown doesn’t exactly hit on all of my memory circuits. I was 15 in 1976, living near Philadelphia, where we were all pretty much obsessed with that whole Bicentennial thing. The last thing on my mind was whether the neighbors, or, God forbid, my parents, were doing the bump and tickle with rotating partners. I’m pretty sure I’ll leave that question unanswered. Even with all of that said, about the only solid piece of nostalgia I got from Swingtown was the often sweet 70’s soundtrack. To the credit of whoever picked the music, all aspects of the 70’s music scene are represented. You get a good dose of folk, rock, summer pop, and even disco, which any self respecting child of the 70’s considers the death of what was otherwise a fine decade of music. Props to the music guy for not falling into the disco all of the time trap that these shows so often do. One minor complaint, however. Fleetwood Mac didn’t release their famous Rumors LP until Feb of 1977…Ooops. Outside of the music, it really could have been any time, any place.
It’s July 4th weekend, 1976 and Bruce Miller (Davenport) and his family are movin’ on up. Money’s been good at his options trading job, so he’s packing up his wife Susan (Parker), teen daughter Laurie (Collins) and young son BJ (Howles) and moving a few blocks over to a bigger house in a better neighborhood. For Susan, it’s a bittersweet time because she’s leaving her friend of 10 years, Janet (Shor) and her husband Roger (Hopkins) and their son for a new neighborhood. Friends, it turns out, won’t be a problem. The first night they are introduced to new neighbors Trina (Parrilla) and Tom Decker (Snow). They’re invited to a party that turns out to be a swinger’s event. The two end up swapping spouses for the night. It’s an exciting, somewhat dangerous thrill for the Millers. From then on they try to balance their new lives and friends with their old. Janet is good for most of the laughs as this super conservative girl is exposed to her old friend’s new friends. As if that wasn’t enough, Laurie Miller is in love with her 24 year old high school teacher, and BJ’s hung up on a cute little girl with a drugged out lush for a single mom. Every week’s episode features a new party. You’ll get everything from a surprise birthday party for Janet, to a night out at the Playboy Club. There’s even a Tupperware party. I do remember my Mom had those. Before it’s done everybody’s spouse is falling for somebody else, and you never know who’s going to end up with who. It all ends in a cliffhanger that is not likely to ever be resolved. The jury’s still out on next summer, but ratings are marginal, so I wouldn’t hold my breath for a second Summer Of Love.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 22nd, 2008
This modern retelling of the classic fairy tale is brought to you by a division of the Jim Henson Company called Unstable Fables. I think that whoever came up with this idea is the unstable part. This is actually causing me some pain to write. I never thought the day would come when I would be totally disgusted by a Jim Henson labeled release. Anyone who remembers the charm and soul that Henson used to put into his work, or appreciates the work that son Brian has continued, might be lured into this awful trap. Daughter Lisa should be ashamed of herself for having the audacity to put her father’s name on this drivel.
The Unstable Fables are intended as a modern retelling of popular fairy tales. I can’t speak for the first two entries, but if they are anything like this I don’t want to see them. It’s far from a retelling of anything. The names are the same, but the faces and their stories have been changed to protect the ignorant. The animation is pretty shoddy. None of the animals look even remotely cute, realistic, or interesting. They are not recognizable for what they are intended to be, but they’re not humanized versions, either. They are Aunt Esther ugly.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 22nd, 2008
When I was a lot younger, I took a particular fancy to two martial art superstars: Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & Hong Kong Phooey. There was also another guy running around at that time named Jean Claude Van Damme. Two of his first movies namely Bloodsport and Kickboxer solidified him as a complete badass and eventually landed him a role in Street Fighter: The Movie as Guile. Eventually when he started making duds such as Double Team& Knock-Off, most people stopped watching his high flying kicks. Soon Van Damme was headed for the direct to dvd releases. One of those movies was the 2003 release, In Hell.
Van Damme plays the role of Kyle Le Blanc. Kyle is an American working overseas and has a beautiful wife named Grey (played by Marnie Alton) who is somewhat happy but lonely to be the housewife. Late one night while Kyle is coming home, the lights go out in the Le Blanc house. Grey goes to the switchbox and flip the breaker only to find her face to face with a robber named Sergio (played by Mihail Elenov) who attempts to rape her. Kyle hears the commotion via cellphone and rushes home to save her.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 22nd, 2008
Power Rangers come, Power Rangers go. By the time Power Rangers: Jungle Fury had come into existence, some incarnation of Power Rangers had been around for sixteen seasons. The series however was unique due to two qualities. The first was that it centered on three Power Rangers where as other series typically encountered five. The second differentiating characteristic was that it was written during the 2007-2008 Writers Guild of America strike. Written by non-union writers, would the series still have the appeal that the Power Ranger shows had in prior runs?
The Order of the Claw has selected six students as potential guardians of Dai Shi’s prison. Dai Shi was an evil spirit who roamed across the earth waging a war against any human that stood in his path. The Order was able to secure his spirit and lock it away in a box that would be guarded by those who were up to the task. The six students were paired into three couples and squared off in mortal kombat. Wait, wrong show. Fatalities in a kid’s show could be uncomfortable.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by Archive Authors on December 22nd, 2008
Posted by Ken Spivey
"The History of Black New York” thematically explores various aspects of the black experience through the use of historian testimony and period specific media. The documentary begins with the early arrival of the Dutch on Manhattan Island and their fair treatment of black slaves. With the arrival of the English, morality and race became intertwined in New York, as with the rest of America, leading to the ensuing years of black oppression and segregation. Quickly, the DVD jumps into an analysis of the role of blacks in the American military, ranging from the Colonial & Civil Wars to the rise of Colin Powell to military prominence. Then the film shifts focus from the blacks' martial experience to the social, with a brief discussion of the Harlem Renaissance and its impact upon the evolution of modern black culture. A brief biography of congressional pioneer Adam Powell, a glimpse into the life and rhetoric of Malcolm X, a tip of the hat to baseball legend Jackie Robinson, and various other black heroes highlighted the portion of the documentary which touched upon the Civil Rights movement.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 20th, 2008
The box art on this film promises: “This campy splatterfest is 100% pure brainless fun”. Finally, truth in advertising. If you’re looking for anything else except what’s promised here, you really need to look elsewhere for some entertainment. But there is a place for this kind of thing, and if you’re willing to ask no questions, this movie will tell you no lies. I’m impressed that the makers of this movie never pretend to be anything else. All too often with these kinds of affairs you watch a feature or listen to a commentary and realize that these guys are taking themselves way too seriously. They act like they’re making high art, or some important classic milestone. Not so with these guys. They’re just having wicked fun, and they invite you to do the same.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 20th, 2008
Since the dawn of The Animal Planet we’ve seen an entire genre created around using real animal footage and providing a human story to go with it. In Meerkat Manor we are provided with a dramatic narration substituting human motivations for the actual activities captured by the film crew. In other instances voice over techniques are used to make the animals appear to talk. Movies like the Buddies series utilize this technique. With the help of a little CG, the animals appear to be speaking. In the case of Elephant Tales, however, there isn’t any effort to match the dialog to lip movement; in fact, there isn’t any effort to even remotely match the dialog to the animal’s activity at all. So, my first real complaint here is how random the footage appears and how totally unrelated to the dialog it is. The result is something like a Mystery Theater 3000 animal documentary edition. You might as well have provided the words yourself for all the difference it will make. Add to that a script that appears to be adlibbed the entire film, and what remains isn’t very interesting, even to the kids.








