Jim Phelps (Graves) led his team in a fourth season of Mission Impossible starting in 1969. The show continued its trademark traditions. Jim would receive a mission from the “self destructing” tape and would gather his IMF (Impossible Mission Force) team. The team was necessarily eclectic in nature, and it changed significantly in the fourth season. Still in the team we had Barney Collier, the gadget man, played by Greg Morris. The muscle was still supplied by Willy Armitage, played by brute Peter Lupus.

I can remember when Beauty And The Beast first arrived on television. It was fall of 1987. I watched a couple episodes of this rather odd drama. Instantly I was drawn to the show’s world but was almost as quickly pushed away by the material. If I can be forgiven for saying so, I always considered this a “chick” show. That’s not intended as an insult at all. The truth is there likely isn’t nearly enough programming out there that is targeted for the female audience. This was without a doubt a series that was very much aimed at the young women viewers.

Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed. Poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed. Then one day he was shootin’ at some food and up from the ground comes a bubblin’ crude. Oil that is… Black Gold…Texas Tea…”

Brothers and Sisters, we are gathered here today to extol the virtues of our moral champion, Eric Cartman. I’ve come here to praise Eric, not to bury him. It wasn’t much more than 12 years ago to this very day that we first met Eric. Certainly the presentation was a bit crude, and often the teachings were less focused and incoherent. Still, it didn’t take long before we could see an underlying message in the construction paper animation. Before too long the faithful grew, and the wisdom of Eric Cartman could no longer be stopped.

I like Mike Myers. I think he’s really talented, and I’ve enjoyed him in films like Wayne’s World, So I Married an Axe Murderer and Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. That’s why I didn’t want to see The Love Guru. Seeing the trailers for this latest Myers project, I had the distinct feeling it was going to be a black mark on his filmography.

What an understatement — 20 minutes into The Love Guru, I wanted to punch Mike Myers in the face.

A group of exotic dancers head off to a resort in the hills, ostensibly to shoot a film, but instead fall into evil clutches. The torture begins for them and that point, but it began for the audience prior to the opening credits. While the monologue that begins the film hints that there might have been an idea buried somewhere in here concerning the abusive objectification of women through history, the film decides to incarnate that idea rather than critique it, and do so very clumsily at that. The makeup effects are beyond risible, and the cinematography consists primarily of headache-inducing shaky close-ups. Another nail in the coffin of the torture porn subgenre.

 

The CSI phenomenon has been going strong for many years now, and CBS has ridden that wave to become the top network these past couple of years. It all started with the original CSI: Crime Scene Investigator. This Las Vegas show became an instant hit, and three years later we found ourselves in Miami for a spin-off. Two years after basking in the Florida sunshine, Jerry Bruckheimer caught lightning a third time; this time out New York would serve as the setting. While there are ties that bind the three shows to the CSI franchise, each show has a unique style.

Just to look at it you would think that My 3 Sons was a Disney production. Its star Fred MacMurray had appeared in many Disney films of the 50’s and 60’s and is most likely recognizable from those appearances. Two of the three boys were also known for work with Disney. The eldest boy, Mike, was played by Tim Considine, who starred with MacMurray in Disney’s The Shaggy Dog. Middle son Robbie was played by a former Mickey Mouse Club Mouseketeer,

The holiday season is coming fast. It should come as no surprise with all of the Chipmunk DVDs being released that a Holiday Collection was going to be included. Of all of the sets, this is the best. There 12 episodes in all, and each is among the best of the classic show. You get three discs, one for each of the upcoming special days: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. There’s plenty of Chipmunk antics and some great song selections included in each disc.

The latest issue of Rue Morgue has hit the stands, and its cover story is a celebration of the fiftieth anniversary of Famous Monsters of Filmland. Naturally, there is plenty celebrating the man behind the world’s first horror/SF magazine, Forrest J. Ackerman. Permit me, then, to take advantage of the occasion to do a little celebrating myself.