Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 30th, 2008
There was a new Cowboy in
Norris almost deadpans his entire performance. Let’s face it, the man is no accomplished thespian. Still, Norris fans are quite passionate about their guy. There’s a popular tee shirt design that lauds their hero in epic fashion. One of my favorite is : “McGyver can build a plane out of gum and paper clips but Chuck Norris can kill him and take the plane.” Another brags: “Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas”. And there’s the humorous: “Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin’ about”. Fans of Norris were never disappointed in what they got here. The requisite martial arts and tough guy talk are present pretty much in every episode. Season five is no exception. You should also note if you’re using an episode guide: this is really season 6, as the first two were combined in the first season release. The series had its share of heartstring episodes, most notably the two part story, Lucas. Here
Posted in: Brain Blasters by David Annandale on June 30th, 2008
Well, I’m back, with apologies for a couple of weeks’ absence, and with some more facile musings. I’ve dumped all over M. Night Shyamalan in this space before, and it would be tempting to do it again, but I haven’t actually seen The Happening yet, so I won’t officially trash it right this minute. However, the vox populi has spoken, and the movie is officially a bomb, which makes three in a row for our boy, following up the atrocities of The Village and Lady in the Water. Which means it might, perhaps be time for a re-evaluation of the auteur, perhaps even time for a different branch of fandom to claim him for their own.
Let’s put Shyamalan side by side with Edward D. Wood, Jr. Now Wood is the Supreme Deity of Badfilm. There are pretenders to the throne (most notably Doris Wishman), but Wood still rules over all. There are other filmmakers who are arguably just as incompetent, but, as has been argued before, what distinguishes Wood from his peers in badness is the fact that his films are earnestly meant. He wasn’t just pumping out hackwork. He was attempting, in his own charmingly misbegotten fashion, to create art. He had messages. He had things to say, even if no one else understood a blessed word.
Posted in: Dare to Play the Game, News and Opinions by Michael Durr on June 25th, 2008
PS2 Edutainment, Disney goes Rockband without the Band and the Beginning of the End? - Welcome to the column that knows the end is near when it's mentioned in the mainstream press as informative & witty known as Dare to Play the Game.
Welcome to another edition of Dare to Play the Game. I don't feel like crap anymore. Unfortunately, now my girlfriend feels like crap. So that means I'm feeling like crap by proxy I suppose. WoW update: 48/22/18 and I will be sick of Blacksmithing quests very soon. A man should not have to mine this many mithril bars in one sitting . One hundred and twenty bars of mithril (not to mention 40 bars of iron, 5 bars of truesilver & 4 citrine) to get 3 lousy blacksmithing recipes. Well they aren't lousy, but I'm not sure they are worth the effort either. My question is what the heck are they doing with the mithril bars? The quests are given in Stranglethorn Vale which is one of the worst places to mine (I've done most of my mining in a combination of Hinterlands & Thousand Needles). If this was a regular person and not a NPC, I would think I'm bankrolling his blacksmithing skill. I mean if all I had to do was handout three recipes and get in return hundreds of bars and entry trinkets, I would be one rich mofo.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on June 23rd, 2008
Spoof movies have been wearing on me for the last few years. Complete travesties such as Date Movie & Epic Movie have soured my look on a favorite genre of mine. Where were the Mel Brooks classics or the Scary Movie series that I remember so well? Smart comedy and well done jokes about movies we have come to love. So, I'll admit when I saw the Comebacks on DVD, all I could see was red and think the torture that was Epic Movie. I wanted to believe it could be as smart and zany as Blazing Saddles or at least in the same league as Scary Movie 3 or 4. I would hope that director Tom Brady would restore my faith in this once awesome genre.
Freddie Wiseman (played by Carl Weathers) visits the long forgotten Lambeau Fields (played by David Koechner), a coach whose only attribute is losing when it counts. Freddie convinces Lambeau to coach the Heartland State football team. Once Lambeau gets there, he struggles to put together a winning team. The team consists of various characters and stereotypes such as Trotter (played by Jackie Long) the pompous Terrell Owens wannabe, Lance Truman (played by Matthew Lawrence), the baseball pitcher turned quarterback, and Jizminder Featherfoot (played by Noureen DeWulf), the female kicker who should be in Bend It Like Beckham.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on June 23rd, 2008
It's not that video game movies are bad because they are based on video games -- things that are usually void of character development and plot in favor of cheap thrills -- it's just that they've mostly been handled by hacks, from the director down to the caterer. This usually makes the movie about as tedious as the filmed vignettes you're forced to watch in between the video game's levels.
Hitman is the newest example of a video game movie, although by the time you read this review, chances are there's another video game movie out in theaters. Uwe Boll seems to crap out about a half dozen of these things each year. Anyway, Hitman does little to advance the fate of video game movies, due to bland characterization and a murky yet simple plot. That said, it's a visual feast of bullets, blood and Olga Kurylenko (Quantum of Solace). But that's about the only thing Hitman has going for it.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 20th, 2008
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Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 19th, 2008
Resurrecting The Champ claims to be “inspired” by a true story written by J.R. Moehringer for the Los Angeles Times Magazine. I’m not very well versed in the original story, so I won’t bore you with any attempt to justify the film against actual events. I only hope that the real Moehringer wasn’t a tenth the idiot that Erik is in this film. Perhaps so close on the heels of the Tomase Spygate fiasco it’s not as hard to believe that a reporter could be this gullible.
Posted in: Dare to Play the Game, News and Opinions by Michael Durr on June 18th, 2008
Postal wins an award, 360 Avatars all gassed up and ready to go, and a brand new TV Gaming Competition Show? - Welcome to the column that got dressed an hour early but realized it has no place to go known as Dare to Play the Game.
Welcome to another edition of Dare to Play the Game. I feel like crap. Actually I'm getting better, because a day or so ago I felt like absolute crap. It's kinda different and usually doesn't involve vodka. I stayed home from work on Monday and spent a good portion of that time either getting rest or playing World of Warcraft with my trolly troll and working on a blacksmithing quest. Cause I soooo love blacksmithing quests *insert sarcasm flag here*. But it helps your skill, it really does. I also did the unthinkable. I pvp'ed. Yes, for many months I had openly discussed the bad taste of pvp and refused to do it. So I did it, and while I take back some of my comments that weren't too kind, I'm still not in love with it. I took a 46 into a battleground dominated by mostly 48 and 49's (and were much better pvp'ers than I was) and got my troll tuccus handed to me for the most part. So it was entertaining, I learned a lot about the battleground (Warsong Gulch) and will continue to play it in spurts. Just don't expect me to join a pvp server or start talking about leeeet pvp gear. It's not going to happen. And don't expect me to do Arena either. That's all I need is my tuccus handed to me and people actually notice that I don't know what I'm doing.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 17th, 2008
Because I was fairly certain I would be asked to review this second season of
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 17th, 2008
So I find out I’m going to review a film called Meerkat Manor. My research tells me it’s actually a television show on Animal Planet, but I still didn’t know much. Was this some kind of animal version of The Tudors? And what exactly is a meerkat, anyway? The answer to all of these questions arrived one sunny morning via UPS on my front door. I yawned my way to the door and picked up the nondescript package that fell over with a flop as I opened my home to the bright
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