Halo 3 the Beta, Some good Konami and a hookup for Ked? - Welcome to the column that has more bugs than Brittany Spears on Friday night known as Dare to Play the Game.

I remember that this film was all the rage when I was a kid growing up in the early 80's. I always assumed that the reason that I didn't care for the film at the time was that I was just too young to fully appreciate it. Turns out, it's just not a very good movie. I certainly appreciate where it is trying to go, it's just that it takes the hokiest path possible to get there. The film tells the story of a military academy that is slated to be shut down and turned into condominiums. The cadets, who apparently enjoy the fact that they are in military school, are so proud of the institution that they use their minimal combat training to hold off the developers. It this a dramatic film that wishes to be taken seriously, or The Goonies? By the time the situation escalates to the point where the cadets are involved in a full-fledged skirmish with the real US military, audiences will likely be too bored to care. Part of what makes Dog Day Afternoon such a fantastic film is that the standoff in that film comes at about the 5-minute mark. This thing is more like an 80's sitcom for the first hour or so.

The acting, however, is surprisingly good under the circumstances. This film marks the first real film efforts from both Tom Cruise and Sean Penn. Even with such hokey source material, these two fine actors give it their all, and it is occasionally possible to believe that they really care about the academy here and there. George C. Scott is also here as the school's Dean, which was an excellent casting decision for anyone who remembers him best as General George Patton. In the end, though, the mixture of great young actors and seasoned veterans just isn't enough to elevate this film beyond being a second-rate After School Special version of The Lord of the Flies.

I don�t recall when I first saw Rocky, and I haven�t kept track of how many times I�ve seen it since. The answers are probably �15 years ago� and �more than 10 times�, but accuracy isn�t important. What is important for you to know, is that Sylvester Stallone�s masterpiece is one of my favourite films of all time.

In other words, I love this movie, so don�t expect any criticism until at least the �video� section of this review. I don�t deny that there may be aspects of Rocky that merit denigration, I just refuse to let anything distract me from what I consider to be the ultimate inspirational story.

Synopsis

Christmas, 1914. In the trenches, we see the Scots, French and Germans beginning to celebrate in their own way. Singing in one trench inspires more in the opposing one, and before long, an unauthorized truce has broken out, and the enemy combatants are marking Christmas together. The film concentrates on a handful of characters who play a pivotal role in the truce in this particular section of the trenches, in particular the local commanding officers.

Caution: reading any of this entry may cause you to break down, cry and accuse me of “unappropriate” things.

Well, a week back into the fold (save for a business trip) doesn’t report much new news to speak of. In fact, the most notable news (aside from still poring over the Superman discs) is that the Blu-Ray release of Speed seems to be coming up with some glitches on playback, specifically that it won’t play on the Samsung player. Thankfully, Fox is providing replacement discs (hey, sounds familiar...) to those that are having concerns with it.

Four discs of Irving Klaw's 8mm films from the fifties: 270 minutes of material, which is astounding, given that all this was supposed to have been destroyed. The discs are distinguished by theme: "The Bettie Page Films," "The Wrestling Films,""The Fetish Films," and "The Dance Films." The titles are self-explanatory, and a synopsis is, of course, utterly beside the point. These are short films featuring women parading around in heels and hose, fetish gear, and wrestling while got up in sam. These are not great art, by any stretch of the imagination. But they DID stretch the popular imagination. The rating I've assigned reflects the cultural impact of Kaw's work, which continues to be felt to this day. This is an important collection.Audio

Cult epics has jazzed up the presentation by adding soundtracks of 1950's style music to the shorts: lounge, jazz swing and big band are the offerings, and they add a great deal of fun to the proceedings. The 2.0 mix treats the music well, and the bass lines are very solid. This is, of course, the only sound, and it is a very nice touch.

When I sat down to watch The Devil Wears Prada with my wife, who was excited to see it, I was braced for a complete chick flick. I figured it was another one of those �ugly� duckling turns beautiful to conquer her situation movies, and that prospect didn�t exactly have me jazzed up.

Well, that�s not quite how it goes, and I was surprised to find that I enjoyed the film. The story centres around Andrea (Anne Hathaway), an aspiring journalist who�s getting nowhere, who takes a job as second assistant to Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep), the frightening editor-in-chief of a leading fashion magazine. The idea is that this job could be an influential stepping stone to her career as a serious journalist. Unfortunately, Andrea is totally out of her element in the fashion world, and at first struggles to accomplish the simplest tasks of her ridiculous new job. Everyone mocks her complete lack of style, and she mocks them right back � though much, much more timidly � for taking this fashion stuff so seriously.

The plot of Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride, although simple, provides a very enjoyable experience throughout its entirety. Johnny Depp does a tremendous job brining his character to life, as does the rest of the cast.

Set in a dark Victorian era city, Corpse Bride is the tale of an arranged marriage between Victor Van Dort (Johnny Depp) the son of fishmongers, and Victoria Everglot (Emily Watson) the daughter of aristocrats. Victor is very hesitant of the marriage, of course until he meets the cha...ming and beautiful Victoria. The two seem to genuinely like each other and now the idea of an arranged marriage doesn’t seem so bad. During the rehearsal a nervous and clumsy Victor messes up and in the process sets Victoria’s mothers gown on fire. At this point Victor is banished into the woods in order to practice his wedding vows. Practicing the vows aloud Victor gains confidence and places the ring on a branch resembling a hand. This is where the miscommunication and fun begins, as it turns out it was a hand, that of the corpse bride (Helena Bonham Carter). Throughout the movie there is singing, trips to the world of the un-dead, and of course the classic villain out to make problems even worse.

Excalibur tells the story of King Arthur, from his simple beginnings to his noble ends. War plagues Great Britain, and many countrymen relish at the thought of peace as everyone is making claim to the Kingship. It is told that who ever removes Excalibur from the stone will be declared King. This legend might sound familiar to you as The Sword in the Stone (Excalibur being the sword). It is a mythical sword, which has been said to have magical, and only a noble and worthy man can bear it. Every noble i... the land claims they are worthy enough to remove the sword from the stone but each who tries, fails. Arthur, who has yet to realize who he really is, accidentally removes the sword one day. Being so young, the nobles are divided on whether to follow him as King. Civil war wages on and Arthur quickly defeats and unites the remaining noble leader, forming the fellowship of the Round Table. From here we are taken on the adventures that span most of Arthur’s life, including the search for the Holy Grail.

Excalibur has hit a chord with many people and has its own cult following, unfortunately I could not be completely drawn in to this film. Excalibur has all the elements to make it an enjoyable movie but misses the mark from making it truly memorable. Some scenes seemed really out of place, and overall it failed to captivate my attention with drawn on dialogue and mediocre action scenes.

A few weeks ago, I profiled Cult Epics, which has become the reigning king when it comes to DVD companies specializing in vintage sexploitation, erotica, and the like. That position is likely to remain pretty secure for some time, what with the release of such treasures as The Irving Klaw Classics box set, but there are a couple of recent contenders for the throne that have just come to my attention, so I thought I’d say a few words about them. These are Private Screening Collection and Severin Films.

< ...>Both firms have about a half-dozen or so titles out so far, and both specialize exclusively (to date) in the erotic (right down to their logos). There’s a further point of connection, too, if only an indirect one: Private Screening’s focus is on producer Harry Alan Towers, while Severin has released two films by Jess Franco, who made several films for Towers (though you’ll have to see Blue Underground for those collaborations). The similarities end there, though.