M-3D purports to be a parody of MTV, which is hardly likely, given that the film, inits original form, was made in 1976. Actually Lollipop Girls in Hard Candy, this is apainful slog combining aphrodisiac lollipops with extra footage involving ancient Greek soldiersdoing sad Three Stooges routines. No, it makes no sense. No, it isn’t funny. And with obviouscuts to the sex scenes, the waste of your life is complete.
The Playmates is even more resi…tant to summary. There is a half-hearted gesturetowards the notion that a documentary on swingers is being made, but that’s as far as anythingremotely resembling a narrative goes. What you really have is a disjointed collection of boringsex sequences. Which have also been cut, apparently.
The sound, of course, is mono, and both films sound, unsurprisingly, like the garbage theyare. There has been no attempt to restore the sound, and I’m glad no one wasted their time doingsuch a thing. Plenty of hiss, buzz and gurgle all round.
M-3D is letterboxed (though not anamorphic), and that’s the only plus on this disc.The colours are dismal, often looking green. The prints are splicy, scratched, faded and dirty. The3-D is abysmal, and impossible (on both the sets I tried) to get working.
Only M-3D has extras. The commentary is by porn critic Luke Y. Thompson, and ispretty inane. He tries for a Mystery Science Theater 3000 approach, but isn’t as funny,though I’ll grant him a few moments now and then. Also here is a still gallery, and a bio of thecreepy William Margold. The menu has a deeply irritating score.
No. Just, no. Trust me. I said No.
Special Features List
- Audio Commentary
- Still Gallery
- William Margold Bio