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Sex and the Teenage Mind

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 14th, 2005

Virgin geek Virgil (Jay Michael Ferguson) sticks up for hot girl Kellie (Allison Lange) when a teacher rips into her for cheating on her history exam. Thankful for his bravery, Kellie invites Virgil over to her house to thank him.

If you haven’t guessed it by now, Sex and the Teenage Mind is a complete rehash of just about every teenage sex comedy ever made in the last 25 years. Even the red bikini featured on the DVD cover will have you screaming Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Ther…
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Office Space

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 14th, 2005

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Written by Clayton Self

The cult classic “Office Space” from creator Mike Judge (Bevis and Butthead) found a huge following on its initial release on DVD. The movie stars Ron Livingston as Peter Gibbons, a software analyst for the computer giant Initech. Fed up with his condescending boss (Gary Cole) and the frustrations of his job in general, he visits a hypno therapist who puts him in a state of well being and relaxation. The therapist dies of a heart attack before the procedure is complete, leaving Peter permanately care free. Peter …
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Bionicle 3: Web of Shadows

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 14th, 2005

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In this, the third Bionicle film, the Toa return to Metru Nui to find their land overrun by the evil dictator Sidorak, his soon to be queen, Roodaka and the Visorak, a spider-like army. Roodaka, who plans to take over Metru Nui for herself, tries to lure Toa leader Vakama over to the dark side to lead the Visorak army when Vakama feels disrespected as the leader of the Toa.

While Vakama is seduced by the forces of evil, the remaining Toa meet up with the friendly Rahaga to find Ketongu, a powerful Buddha li…
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Titanic

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 13th, 2005

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In the event you had to move under a rock in 1997 and just crawled out from under it last week, James Cameron’s TITANIC – winner of 11 Academy Awards – recounts the tragic sinking of the supposedly indestructible ship seen through the eyes of two young lovers on board. Though the romance is fictional, it serves as a guide that will walk us through one of the most memorable events of the twentieth century.

There isn’t much to be said about this film that hasn’t been said a thousand times over in the …
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Sabata Trilogy, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 13th, 2005

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Synopsis

Lee Van Cleef, often a villain, incarnates a sneering hero in Sabata (1969). He uncovers skullduggery at the highest levels in a small town, and proceeds to blackmail the crooked, sadistic, and rather effeminate Colonel at the head of the criminal racket. Plenty of gadgety gun battles are involved.

Yul Brynner steps into the role for Adios, Sabata (1970), and this time he defends Mexican villagers against their tyrannical Austrian masters. Brynner cuts a fine figure i…
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Wizard of Oz, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 10th, 2005

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Synopsis

Frustrated by vicissitudes of Depression-era life, Dorothy wishes she were somewhere else. She gets her wish in ways she couldn’t have imagined, as a tornado drops her into the magical world of Oz. Accompanied by the brain-free Scarecrows, heartless Tin Man and cowardly Lion, she sets out on a quest to return home. In order to be granted that wish by the all-powerful Wizard, she must first defeat the Wicked Witch of the West.

And so I conclude what must surely be the most superfluo…
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Mask of Zorro, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 9th, 2005

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The Mask of Zorro was the Pirates of the Caribbean of its day. A classic swashbuckling story packed with action and romance, yet still presented in a family-friendly style that hearkened back to the days of the old Saturday afternoon matinée. Indiana Jones was conceived in this style, as was Disney’s National Treasure, in a way. There is a ton of room in the marketplace for PG and PG-13 rated films like this, as it provides something that the whole family can not only attend at the theater, but t…
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Le Samourai

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 9th, 2005

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Synopsis

Alain Delon is a cool-as-ice contract killer. After pulling off his latest contract, he is picked up by the police on suspicion, but is released for lack of evidence. The gangsters who hired him consider him a liability, however, and attempt to have him killed. He must now evade the police long enough to track down his killers before they get him.

With minimal dialogue and a stripped-down, no-frills style, director Jean-Pierre Melville delivers a thriller that is a model of efficie…
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Undead

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 8th, 2005

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Synopsis

A series of meteor strikes hits a small town in Australia, turning its citizens into ravening zombies. A handful of survivors gather in the home of a survivalist who has previously encountered zombie fish and been abducted by aliens. The fight to survive begins.

There is a bit more to the plot than the above would suggest, but it mostly kicks in during the last act, so I shall not breathe a word of it here. The tone is very tongue-in-cheek, and many of the characters are caricature…
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Saturday Night Live – The Best of Will Ferrell (UMD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 7th, 2005

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I actually picked this title up several months ago on DVD, so I was already aware of how funny this disc is. For some reason, Saturday Night Live is one of those shows that nobody finds funny until several years later, at which time its charm is rediscovered. I’m sure this has to do with the fact that the reruns and compilations cut out the majority of the filler and leave only the best bits, but I am, still surprised that the shows gets such little notariety during their initial run.
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State Fair

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 7th, 2005

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Synopsis

Things don’t get much more anodyne than this storyline, showcasing an impossibly idealized family and their trials of love and prize pigs as they travel to the eponymous event. This is strictly for the nostalgic and pure fans of Rodgers and Hammerstein (the songs generally are not as culturally engrained as those of Oklahoma!). There are two versions of the film here, and the 1945 take is easily the better of the two. The 1962 remake (and the third film by this name, a non-musical ver…
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Oklahoma!

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 4th, 2005

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Synopsis

You don’t really care about the plot, do you? Gordon MacRae is romancing famr girl Shirley Jones, but thuggish Rod Steiger also has designs on her. And so on. But it’s the songs that matter: “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning,” “The Surrey with the Fringe On Top,” “I’m Just a Girl Who Can’t Say No.” And one could go on for much longer. The list is of tunes that one is familiar with without even knowing it, so completely have they permeated the mass consciousness. Fred Zinnemann’s film is handsome…
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Slaughterhouse of the Rising Sun

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 3rd, 2005

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Synopsis

Jennifer (Cheryl Dent) has just been released from a mental institution where she was incarcerated after a psychotic episode during which she clawed out the eyes of her co-star during the shooting of a porn flick. After being waylaid in the desert by a couple of thugs, she is rescued by a group of flower children, who soon turn out to be more dangerous yet. They head to house with a bad reputation, and then the murderous hippies start being killed off one by one. By Jennifer, or by something…
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House of Voices

Posted in 2.35:1 Widescreen, Disc Reviews, Dolby Digital 5.1 (English), DVD, Horror, Universal by Archive Authors on November 2nd, 2005

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Synopsis

The orphanage school of Saint Ange in the French Alps is forced to close in the wake of the death of one of its students. The only people left behind are the cook, a disturbed young woman who has been there since she was a child, and the newly arrived Virginie Ledoyen, who has been hired to clean the place, but is on the run from her own past, trying to conceal an already quite advanced pregnancy. Ledoyen hasn’t been there long when she becomes aware of other presences in the school – “the s…
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Serenity

Posted in News and Opinions by Archive Authors on November 1st, 2005

Universal Home Entertainment will release the recent Sci-Fi film Serenity on December 20th. This disc will be presented in a 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer, along with English & French Dolby Digital 5.1 audio tracks. Extras will include an audio commentary (by writer/director Joss Whedon), a director’s introduction, deleted scenes, outtakes, and three featurette (“Future History: The Story of Earth That Was,” “What’s in a Firefly” & “Re-Lighting the Firefly”).

Girl in the Cafe, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 30th, 2005

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The Girl in the Café is an interesting idea for a movie. It’s a blend of romantic comedy with a political agenda. The film doesn’t really work, but it’s nice to see something different. The romantic pair is played by Bill Nighy and Kelly MacDonald. Both are fine actors, and they have an awkward, engaging chemistry. Nighy plays a lonely civil servant and MacDonald plays a damn sexy woman. They “meet cute” in, you guessed it, a café, and they end up going to the G8 summit in Iceland (go figure). The scri…
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Sharks Flipper & Lopaka

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 30th, 2005

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I love it when a DVD as advertised as a “hit series” on the back of the box, yet I have never even heard of it. Granted, I am not this product’s target market, but you would still think that I would have at least come across the title of this show somewhere. I am familiar with all of the products advertised on this disc, so I know I am not completely out of the loop.

This show tells the adventures of Lopaka, a boy who has made friends with a dolphin with the original (?) name of “Flipper”. It seems that Flipp…
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The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Posted in News and Opinions by Archive Authors on October 27th, 2005

Sony Pictures Home Entertainment will release the horror film The Exorcism of Emily Rose in separate rated (119 min.) & unrated (121 min.) editions on December 20th December. Each version will include a 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer and an English Dolby Digital 5.1 audio track. Extras will include three featurettes (“Genesis of the Story,” “Casting the Film” & “Visual Design”).

Lilo & Stitch 2

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 27th, 2005

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Synopsis

Wow, take a look at the vocal talent that lends a hand to this straight-to-video sequel! As Lilo, you’ve got that child actress next to be exploited by her parents in Dakota Fanning (War of the Worlds). Lilo’s custodian is Nani (Tia Carrere, Wayne’s World). Stitch’s alien friends are voiced by David Ogden Stiers (M*A*S*H*) and Kevin McDonald (The Kids in the Hall). Jason Scott Lee (Dragon) plays Nani’s love interest David.

Maybe I’m surprised that a cast…
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12 Monkeys

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 27th, 2005

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Synopsis

In between the other new stuff that’s come out (and the older stuff I’ve picked up), I wanted to try and whittle down the archives, so huzzah for small victories.

In a film inspired by the 1962 French short film, “La Jetee,” Cole (Bruce Willis), lives in an underground society. He gets volunteered to go back in time and return to the surface of the Earth, after a deadly virus has essentially wiped out the population. He goes back to find out the history of the source, and possibly attempt…
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Universal Soldier (UMD)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 26th, 2005

Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme. When is the last time you heard those two names? I’ll bet it has been quite some time. Lundgren is the poor man’s Schwarzenegger, and Van Damme is best known as the Canadian action superstar that is long on physical talent, but horrid at dialog. These two team up in Universal Soldier, a film that is filled with as much action as possible, with as little actual story as possible. This is the action film equivalent of pornography… give the viewers what they want, and a…
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Rains Came, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 26th, 2005

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Synopsis

India, 1938. Dissolute ex-pat Brit George Brent is amused when old flame Myrna Loy, now married to an aging aristocrat, arrives, but is less amused when he sees her set her sights on Indian doctor Tyrone Power (all done up in dark make-up). Power is so decent that Brent doesn’t want him corrupted. But it soon turns out that Loy really loves Power, as she demonstrates by helping selflessly after the city is savaged by torrential rains, flooding and an earthquake.

The politics are ve…
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Tony Orlando & Dawn – The Ultimate Collection

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 25th, 2005

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Wooden monologues, bad jokes, revolting fashions and way, way too much hair. I wish I could say that this means one thing… but it means a lot of things. In this case, however, I am talking about Tony Orlando and Dawn. Now, the quality of Orlando’s rich voice is undeniable. My bone to pick is with virtually every other aspect of this cheese fest. At the time in the 70’s, it seemed like everybody had their own variety show. Such a thing could be a big boon to a performer’s career, so you certainly can’t fault …
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Gus Van Sant’s Last Days

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 25th, 2005

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Synopsis

In his mansion and forested estate, a rock star (played by Michael Pitt and named Blake, but obviously supposed to be Kurt Cobain) wanders about in a terminal drug stupor. Hangers on, business associates, Mormons and salesmen besiege him, but his flees human contact, withdrawing completely into himself.

The movie plays out as if directed by its subject: quiet, mumbling, meandering. As with Gus Van Sant’s last two films – Gerry and Elephant – the tone is minimalist and…
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Saving Face

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 24th, 2005

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I was dreading watching this DVD. Hmmm…indy film, Sundance film, a woman “coming out” to her family film. This had all the hallmarks of arty and annoying. Thankfully, Saving Face is not like that at all. Michelle Krusiac plays “Wil”, a surgeon, who falls hard for Vivian (Lynn Chen), a ballet dancer. Complications arise because Vivian is the daughter of Wil’s boss. Yes, there are some screwball comedy elements. But it’s all tastefully done. Joan Chen (what has she done since Twin Peaks) does a n…
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