Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on March 13th, 2012
I don't think I'm breaking any news when I say that director Paul W.S. Anderson's latest action spectacle, an update of Alexandre Dumas' classic The Three Musketeers, is junk. So far, the director has specialized in taking established properties — including the Resident Evil and Mortal Kombat videogames, as well as the Alien and Predator franchises — and re-working them to fit his own shallow, highly-stylized, quick-cutting sensibilities. The result is basically the cinematic equivalent of junk food: people know those Resident Evil movies are bad, but they just can't stop consuming them.
That's why I was mildly shocked when this latest adaptation turned out to be surprisingly and sneakily faithful...well, except for the part where Da Vinci's Flying War Machine becomes a significant plot point. (This was a guy, after all, who didn't include a single character from the Resident Evil game in the first movie!)
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by Archive Authors on March 7th, 2012
Oh for the love of waffles. Here we go with another simple disc review. This time for a movie called Bounty Hunters. The fact that it has Trish Stratus in it, is just asking for awfulness. I was kinda of surprised that Michael didn't take this one seeing as it has a female wrestler in it. But hell, this ought to be easy right? Then I put in the DVD, and I am started with some very awful previews (this is not looking good). Somehow, I think those will end up in my husband's review pile. Hopefully, not mine. Well the load screen is here, let's jump in shall we?!
Movie starts out with a gun to Jules' (Trish Stratus) head. In a school girl costume?! Seriously? Dude, who we later learn is Mario Antonio (Enrico DiFede), tries to take a bag full of money. Whoops, we don’t wanna start there! 10 hours earlier! Jules and Chase (Boomer Phillips) are working out in a gym. She is in FULL makeup. Shenanigans. Chase sounds like he is trying to be Ryan Reynolds and Dane Cook meshed together, but is failing hardcore style. They tell a guy working out in the gym that they are going to take him in. He says “no” and here starts a fight. Jules starts beating him up. Finally, after a while, she gets him down.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by J C on February 16th, 2012
Despite their pop culture ubiquity these days, zombies are getting somewhat of a raw deal. To be clear, I'm talking about the old-school, George Romero-style creatures that slowly lumbered toward their victims and whose only ambition in life was to snack on human flesh. Nowadays, a lot of filmmakers seem to be more interested in making zombie movies that don't technically have "zombies" in them ("infected" is a popular alternative term) and who are almost fast enough to earn a spot on their country's track and field squad for this summer's Olympic games. Even The Walking Dead — fresh off setting a new ratings record for basic cable viewership earlier this week — has conspicuously avoided having any of its characters refer to the living dead as "zombies" over its two seasons. (Instead, they're "walkers" or, most recently, "lame-brains.")
The Dead strives to be a return to Romero-esque horror. Billing itself as “the first zombie road movie set against the spectacular scenery of Africa,” the film follows American Air Force Engineer Brian Murphy (Rob Freeman), who survives a plane crash in war-torn, zombie-infested West Africa only to find himself in a brutal, unforgiving landscape that is completely barren...except for the undead shuffling in his direction. Murphy eventually crosses path with Sgt. Daniel Dembele (Prince David Osei, a poor man's Djimon Hounsou), whose village has been ravaged by the reanimated dead and who is determined to find his missing son.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on February 15th, 2012
Mexico's most powerful crime lord, Julian Perez, wishes to redeem himself in his mother's eyes. Her wish is for him to find his estranged younger brother and return him home to Mexico. Julian agrees before knowing that his brother has been taken hostage while he was serving with the US Army in Iraq. A misfit team of mercenary types are assembled to infiltrate Iraq and fulfill Julian's vow to his mother.
The characters in this film all look like caricatures of 1970s cop movie characters merged with hipster cowboys. Obviously a team of warriors that look this unusual could only exist in a comedy. And indeed, this film is billed as an action-packed comedy. Though I fear that much of the more subtle humour is lost in translation for me as I found most of gags existed in the aforementioned costuming of the characters. Then again, not all was lost on me. Some of the gags, both physical and verbal, were effective. In fact, I am particularly partial to the reoccurring joke about their chosen war cry of “Tomatoes!”
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 21st, 2011
"Man, we'll die with you. Just don't ask us to do it twice."
Well... that's exactly what Sylvester Stallone is asking you to do. Many will look at this release as a simple case of a double-dip, and to a certain extent it is. But Sly isn't kidding when he tells us that it's a better film this way. At least I thought so. No question the studio wants to build buzz going into the second film, and this edition works as a sort of placeholder. It's still a tough decision, but let's look at the film again, just for argument's sake, shall we?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 5th, 2011
As some might be able to figure out from my personality, I tend to stay away from political and war type movies. Political movies (except for the special ones) tend to confuse the viewer until the final curtain is drawn. War movies on the other hand tend to be more about explosions and male bonding which is usually enough to put me to sleep. What happens when you combine the two of them? Well then you might get a movie like 5 Days of War directed by the one and only Renny Harlin .
Hiram Johnson, a US Senator once said that “The first casualty of war is truth.” We join the movie in Iraq, year circa 2007. Thomas Anders (played by Rupert Friend) is an American reporter. He is riding along with his camerman, Sebastian Ganz (played by Richard Coyle) and his fellow reporter/girlfriend, Miriam (played by Heather Graham). Sebastian is recording the two and asking them all sorts of relationship type questions.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on November 16th, 2011
Over-the-top movies can be enjoyable vehicles to invest ninety minutes into. Movies like Planet Terror where somewhere behind the blood splatter and the lovely Rose McGowan who had a machine gun leg was an actual enjoyable story. But these movies do not just exist in America. Abroad, over in Japan, this type of film has been taken up to the Nth degree by the company Sushi Typhoon. This review covers their newest flic, Helldriver. Let’s see what we got.
A guy (played by Yukihide Benny) drives up in a bicycle wearing some black latex and goggles. No, this movie is not starting off strangely at all. He scales the wall in front of him using a grappling hook. He gets to the top and sits down to overlook the earth below. Out of his satchel, he produces a grizzled human head and throws it to the ground below him. Slowly but surely, a few zombies come out of the woodwork to enjoy a meal.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by M. W. Phillips on November 2nd, 2011
“I might be wrong, but I'm guessing you know something that I don't.”
First off, this is not the 2011 Sucker Punch directed by Zack Snyder. This was shot in 2008, but released in 2011 under the name Sucker Punch just months after Snyder’s action fantasy. I can only imagine this was done to capitalize on confused DVD renters and buyers.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on November 1st, 2011
His troops defeated and massacred, General Pang (Jet Li) staggers away from the battlefield, more dead than alive. After a brief by intense overnight encounter with a mysterious Lian (Xu Jinglei), he falls in with bandits headed up by Er Hu (Andy Lau) and Wu Yang (Takeshi Kaneshiro). He finds a renewed purpose in life with this group, and forges the band into a formidable fighting force, one that will play an ever greater role in shaping the conflicts that are dividing China. But the fellowship he forms with his blood brothers has a fatal flaw: as fate would have it, Lian is promised to Er Hu. Betrayal and tragedy lurk in the wings.
First, the positives: this is a very handsome production, with a visual sweep that is appropriately epic. The battle scenes are expertly staged, whether these be small-scale skirmishes or grand campaigns. These are spectacular, exciting moments in the film. The characters and their story, however, are far less interesting. The love between Pang and Lian is difficult to empathize with – we don't really understand why these two are obsessed with each other, and must take it on faith that they are. All of which makes it difficult to care about the relationship, and thus its consequences are more irritating than tragic. And while Pang's internal conflicts are sometimes compelling, Lian's characterization is so perfunctory that she comes across as little more than venal, misogynist caricature. In the end, then, the film seems to drag on longer than its 113 minutes, as one finds one's eyes glazing over between the battle scenes. This is a beautiful movie, but an uninvolving one.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 28th, 2011
"That be the cold hand of fate I feel down my nape."
With each of the previous Pirates Of Caribbean films pulling in over a billion dollars in total revenue, it was indeed the cold hand of fate that determined the franchise would not end. Like Captain Jack Sparrow himself, this franchise isn't going to be easy to kill. It's true that the last two films, the third in particular, were rather universally scorned by the critics. But they still pulled in a boatload of money and quite honestly weren't near as bad as all of that. Like the theme park attraction that the franchise was named after, you have to consider these movies as rides. The only intention is to entertain. And by all accounts they've been doing a pretty good job of that for several years now. Even when the rest of the supporting cast bowed out of the franchise, it isn't finished yet, and there's no indication that the voyage is nearing its end any time soon.
![The Expendables (Extended Director's Cut) [Blu-ray] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/the-expendables-extended-director-large.jpg)
![5 Days of War [Blu-ray] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/5-days-of-war-blu-ray-large.jpg)
![Helldriver [Blu-ray] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/helldriver-blu-ray-large.jpg)
