Disc Reviews

Baby here again. Yeah, I'm that German Shepherd Chow that keeps you UPS/Fed Ex guys on their toes. Now, if only I can figure out a way to keep you on your trucks. I just started a SWAT team here at Upcomingdiscs. That's right. Whenever I want a treat or to be pet I swat Gino with my paw. It doesn't always work on the first try, but I believe in the motto: If at first you don't succeed, swat and swat again. Sometimes it finally works. Other times ... well ... Let's not talk about that right now, okay. We have a movie to talk about.

It's not often I get into the theater to watch movies and review them for you guys. It's not my fault that the chairs look like huge rawhides. So, I usually am waggin' my tail hard when I do get the chance. I thought there could never be a movie bad enough to make me wish I hadn't been invited in. That was before I saw Gabe the Cupid Dog. I have to tell you that I'd rather go to the vet than have to watch this one again. And that spells O U C H.

Stand-up special or biography? As it turns out it was a little of both. Before this DVD I did not know who Paul Rodriguez was; now I am proud to say I’m a bit of a fan. His stand-up, Just for the Record, gave an informative insight into his rise from migrant worker to professional comedian. He exudes an air confidence from beginning to end, but more than that, he breathes soul into his act with stories that make you feel something within yourself and that is something I have not felt from a comedy special in a very long time.

Rodriguez has been a fixture on the comedy circuit for years, getting his start at “The Comedy Store” in West Hollywood, where such notables as Richard Pryor and Robin Williams performed regular sets. Rodriguez first gained notice on the ABC television series, A.K.A. Pablo. Despite the show’s cancellation after only seven episodes, Rodriguez continued to work regularly with guest star roles on Golden Girls, as well as a yearly long stint as the host of The Newlywed Game.

There are many kinds of horror films. Today's trend appears to go the route of graphic blood and guts. It's what we call torture Porn. You know the kind I'm talking about. The Saw and Hostel franchises best illustrate that kind of sub genre. The more classic horror films often feature a monster or creature of some kind. The best of these portray the monster not as evil, but terribly misused or misunderstood. These films have been with us since James Whale and Boris Karloff delivered Frankenstein to our collective consciousness. Then there's the good vs. evil fight that was best brought out in The Exorcist. But perhaps the most frightening films of all come from none of these extremes of violence or supernatural forces. The most frightening circumstances come from those things which are most realistic. The kind of situations and events that we know could actually happen to us. Open Water was a very effective film in that respect. There's an almost instinctual fear of sharks, helped along no doubt by a certain Mr. Spielberg. Most of us can relate to being in the ocean with a killing machine that's as real as the very air we breathe. Enter the misleadingly titled 247°F.

The film starts pretty much according to the standard formula. Four young adults are heading to an isolated cabin on a lake for a before-season getaway. There's the standard drug and alcohol breakout and the expected pairing off for a romp in the bed. There's the mysterious caretaker, and before long our pre-programmed minds are expecting someone or something to deliver the traditional slice-and-dice routine. But that's where 247°F deviates from the norm.

"I have a surprise for you."

"Boo." Don't be scared, unless you happen to be a delivery guy from UPS or Fed Ex. It's just me. I'm Baby, and I'm the German Shepherd/Chow that runs security here at Upcomingdiscs. It's been a while since Gino let me in the theater to review a movie. Something about speaker wires not being chew toys. Anyway...I don't want to talk about that right now. What I do want to talk about is a movie called Vampire Dog, and this doggie is more of a pain in the neck than a choker collar, and that spells G A G.

Coma was a movie with Michael Douglas in the 70's. It has now been redone as a miniseries with a running time of 160 minutes in 2012. It has a large and familiar cast including JamesWoods, Geena Davis, Richard Dreyfuss, Joe Morton, and Ellen Burstyn, but the lead is Lauren Ambrose (Six Feet Under) who plays a surgical intern at an institute that is named after his grandfather. The institute is world famous for being the best place to care for patients in an advanced vegetative state, or in other words, coma. It is based on a novel by Robin Cook who is known for his medical thrillers.

The Jefferson Institute has been under scrutiny by investigative journalists because it houses its patients at a fraction of the cost of other facilities. For those of you who are not already familiar with the story, I won't say more. It is simply important that you know that this is a breakneck thriller full of the worst kinds of villains. It was produced by Scott Free, the company run by two world famous directors, Ridley and Tony Scott. Tony Scott has been in the news recently for committing suicide at 68 with a heavy roster of planned films including Top Gun 2 with Tom Cruise. The mystery of his death casts a shadow over this production full of dangerous conspiracies.

"In New York City's war on crime, the worst criminal offenders are pursued by the detectives of the Major Case Squad. These are their stories."

Dick Wolf used to pretty much own NBC and prime-time drama. His flagship series Law & Order lasted 20 years, tying the record held by Gunsmoke for the longest-running scripted drama. It was his wish to break the record, but by season 20 the franchise had lost some steam and was axed by NBC. It wasn't a total loss for Wolf, who had two other Law & Order shows still running at the time. Law & Order: SVU has been the more successful, but Law & Order: Criminal Intent had a pretty good run as well.

When a movie claims to be based on a true story, I tend to take this with a grain of salt.  In some form or another, any movie can have some basis in reality; the writer simply puts their own spin on it.  With a movie like The Cottage, I’m not too sure what part is supposed to be the true story.  Is it the creepy tenant that kills anyone who gets in his way?  Or perhaps it is the fact that the creepy killer stalks families to try and have a relationship with their young daughter?  Whatever the truth is, The Cottage pretty much is a story we’ve all heard before, the cautionary tale of the roommate or tenant from hell.  But thankfully in the end The Cottage gives a fresh spin on how we perceive the actions of a villain.

The Carpenter family is in desperate need to fill the vacancy of their cottage as the bills are piling up since Chloe (Kristen Dalton) gave birth to their third child.  In response to an ad they had posted, Robert (David Arquette), a romance novelist (with a very loyal fan base), comes along and seems like the perfect candidate to be the new tenant at their home. But of course things are simply too good to be true, and it’s not long before the Carpenter family begins to notice things may not be what they seem with their tenant.