Fox

Name: Miss March Measurements: 89 minutes/90 minutes (unrated version)

Birthdate: March 13, 2009 Weight: $ 4 Million at the box office

The List is adapted from a novel of the same name written by Robert Whitlow.  After returning home from his father’s funeral, Renny Jacobsen (Chuck Carrington) discovers he is the inheritor of his family’s seat in a secret society founded during the civil war.  However, Renny suspects the society’s activities are more troubling than they lead on and decides to examine them more closely.  When his inquiries are uncovered by the group’s leader (Malcolm McDowell) Renny becomes targeted by a mysterious force that has the power to destroy him and the people he holds close.

 

I tend to wince a bit when I see these films that star wrestling names and are produced in conjunction with one of the WW A-Z’s. I’ve come to believe that WW means “Won’t Wow”. Along comes John Cena and this latest cooperative film, 12 Rounds. I have to say I was somewhat surprised to find that it was a pretty good action thriller, if a bit implausible. I’m willing to overlook certain aspects of inplauability, if you take me on a thrilling enough ride and try not to totally insult my intelligence. For the most part I found that to be the case here. Cena doesn’t feel the need to work in impractical wrestling moves on his opponents. In fact most of the action is not the hand to hand tripe these movies tend to lean toward. You’ll find plenty of action sequences. There’s a pretty cool runaway rail car, plenty of car chases with the expected carnage that follows, and enough gun play to drive home the point. Renny Harlin, the director, worked on the second Die Hard film, so you know he has a good eye for this kind of action. And while no one will confuse him with John Woo, I think you’ll get enough of an adrenaline hit here to make the 2 hours worthwhile… until we get to the end. More on that later.

A sting to bring down a dangerous terrorist goes horribly awry when the fed’s informant has a sudden change of heart. The result is a lot of shooting, chasing, and dead guys on both sides of the law. Patrol officer Danny Fisher (Cena) is one of the cops drawn into the chase and eventual takedown of the chief terrorist, Miles Jackson (Gillen). In the mayhem that follows, Jackson’s wife is killed. Jackson blames Fisher for the death and vows his revenge.

“My name is Michael Weston. I used to be a spy until, ‘you’ve got a burn notice’. When you’re burned, you’ve got nothing. No cash, no credit, no job history. You’re stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who’s still talking to you, a trigger happy ex-girlfriend, an old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI, family too, if you’re desperate. Bottom line: Until you figure out who burned you, you’re not going anywhere.”

Burn Notice has all the earmarks of a really great television series. It has Bruce Campbell, and that alone should make it worth watching. The concept is a clever one and not the usual kind of spy show we’ve already seen too much of. The problem is that it’s not a great show. It’s not even a very good show. Campbell is way too underutilized and would have improved this series if he’d been in the lead role. I can see him as Weston big time. The series is also way too over stylized. Ever since 24 and those distracting frames there has been this race to see who can be the most distracting and annoying. Burn Notice wins hands down. There is this incessant need to freeze frame the image at the most ludicrous moments. Somehow this is intended to up the drama ante. If that’s the ante, I fold. There’s too much annoying narration from Weston. Back in writing school you’re taught over and over again that you need to show, not tell. Here the Weston narration treats us like we’re kindergarten kids who need every little action he takes explained in incredibly boring detail. He then throws in some not very funny moments of wit that just fall flat.

The Siege was made and released in 1998, a little less than three years before the 9/11 attacks. There are some things about this film you should know before you decide to see it, if you haven’t already. The film depicts a series of Islamic fundamentalist groups carrying out a series of terrorist attacks in New York City. While none of the plots mirror the actual events of 9/11, there is enough imagery here that you might wish to avoid if you are one of those persons who are still quite sensitive to those horrifically real images. The images here are quite realistic and might be hard to take, particularly for those of you who lost loved ones or witnessed the attack firsthand.

With that said, Fox makes a very unfortunate choice on the back case description of the film. It touts the film of being “eerily prescient” of the 9/11 attacks three years later. It’s simply not true. First of all, it was not anyone’s intent in this film to make some kind of bold prediction. These guys were simply trying to make an action thriller. That it might be more thoughtful than most does not mean that it was intended as any dire warning that went unheeded. In a bit of irony, the film was severely criticized by the group CAIR (Council on American Islamic Relations). They were appalled that the filmmakers would suggest that terrorists from the Islamic world would think of using their sacred beliefs as a motivation for such destruction. Again this wasn’t a new prediction. The Twin Towers themselves had been the subject of an Islamic fundamentalist attack years before this film was made. CAIR was merely putting out the line they felt they had to, and the film used a profile that was in no way groundbreaking or “eerily prescient”. The mistake we make with such statements is the myth that 9/11 was somehow the beginning of this whole Jihad thing. It certainly was not. To fault or credit the filmmakers with this idea is ludicrous. The film also correctly makes the point that these actions, just as the real ones, were not representative of the Islamic world has a whole. Most stand against such action, even if they don’t do so publicly and loudly enough. While you might blame them for their silence, and I often have, one has to realize that they are paralyzed by the same fear that the terrorists intended for us. When the Pope remarked that there was a “history of violent tendency” within the Muslim community, the radicals attempted to prove him wrong by bombing Catholic churches and through the brutal torture and murder of nuns. That showed us how nonviolent they were, didn’t it? But, again, these people were just a small number from a relatively peaceful people, many of whom have fought and died to protect this country. The film makes that point as well, and it should not be ignored when handing out the politically correct admonishments.

Neither of the Predator vs. Alien films were as successful at the box office as was hoped. And this film has had its share of detractors since its release in 1990. I, for one, find it to be as good as, if not better than, the original film. Watching the two governors Arnold and Jesse take on the Predator in the Columbian jungles was certainly a hoot. Let’s be honest, however. Who didn’t cheer, if only inside, when the big bad ugly started to take on LA’s drug lords in Predator 2? This sequel is more than just a romp with a monster. The story is far more compelling. The cast of Danny Glover, Bill Paxton, Kent McCord, and Gary Busey team up well. The film’s production partner Joel Silver’s influence hangs heavy over the film. Glover’s Harrigan is really just Lethal Weapon’s Murdock without Riggs. The LA street firefights and car explosions are ready-made for the Silver cop buddy series. Don’t get me wrong. This is not great filmmaking here. It is a lot more fun than it has been given credit for, however. Now with the release of the movie in high definition on Blue-ray, I advise you take another look at this one.

An alien warrior is back on Earth for another safari. This time the jungle is the mean streets of LA. The prey happens to be ruthless drug lords. Federal Agent Keyes (Busey) heads a secret government team to track and capture the creature. Det. Harrigan (Glover) wants to avenge his partner’s murder even if it means clashing with the feds.

It seems that every studio with a Nazi war film is scrambling to get it released about now. The Tom Cruise film Valkyrie has caused about as much Nazi fever as I’ve seen in recent years. Unfortunately, that means we’re going to see a lot of films that wouldn’t otherwise see the light of day, most for good reason. Fortunately, it also means that some truly classic titles that got hidden away for decades because there is a perceived lack of interest suddenly surface like a German U-Boat about to pounce on an unsuspecting battleship. Man Hunt is absolutely one of the latter. If you haven’t ever seen this Fritz Lang masterpiece or have only experienced it through a bad late night television print, this is one of those rare opportunities that simply must not be missed. Valkyrie might be the reason that Fox has released this movie now on DVD, but it is a far superior movie that deserved a good print back in the early days of the DVD format. Whatever the reason, there is cause to celebrate that Man Hunt is finally here.

The story was originally published as a serial novel called Rogue Male written by Geoffrey Household. Alan Thorndike (Pidgeon) is a world renowned hunter. It’s the peak of Nazi Germany, and Thorndike is on what he describes as a sporting stalk. He wants to see if he could get close enough to Adolph Hitler to bring him down with a shot. He gets into position and dry fires his rifle. A second thought has him loading the weapon, but he is caught before he can bring down his prey. Caught, he is mistreated and asked to sign a full confession that he was sent by England to assassinate Hitler. The statement isn’t true, so Thorndike refuses to sign it. He withstands all manner of torture and persuasion. Finally the Gestapo gives up and tosses him from a cliff, intending to “discover” his body the next day while on a convenient hunt. But Thorndike survives the fall and makes his way back to England, protected by a young boy (McDowall) on a Danish freighter. All is not safe for him back in England. The Gestapo has followed him home, and now the great hunter is the hunted. He befriends a naïve young girl, Jerry (Bennett) but eventually finds himself in a confrontation with his old Gestapo nemesis.

For most of us, we thought it was a crime when Eddie Murphy hijacked the Dr. Dolittle brand back in 1998. He turned a classic into yet another assembly line crude humor product. The original material was carelessly sacrificed for the sake of another Eddie Murphy romp. Well, it was harmless enough, I suppose. But then the sequel and direct to video follow ups began. Eddie was out, and so were the fart jokes and other bodily function staples. Now after a couple of direct to video attempts we get Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts, and suddenly we actually miss Eddie Murphy.

The series of direct to video films has focused on Dolittle’s young daughter, Maya (Pratt). She also has her dad’s ability to talk to the animals. With each film we hear that the Doc is off around the world somewhere helping out some animals. In the latest outing, Maya wants to follow in her father’s footsteps and be able to help the animals she can speak to. She’s a couple of weeks from entering college with the ultimate goal of becoming a veterinarian. But she’s really not too happy with the 7 years of study she has before her. So, when she gets an opportunity to help out some animals now, she follows the dream. Enter reality star Tiffany (Moss). She’s a Paris Hilton clone complete with her pampered little dog. It appears that her pooch is feeling a little depressed of late. She comes to Maya to ask her to talk to her dog and see if she can help. So Maya flies to Hollywood where she instantly discovers two things: Tiffany’s princess is actually a prince, and there are a lot of temptations in the hip world of stars and lights. That includes star Brandon Turner (McLaren) who she immediately falls head over heels for. It turns out that Tiffany’s agent has been trying to get a Dolittle in his fold for years. So, he tempts Maya with a reality show where she can “help” celebrity animals. Of course, she has to learn that she can’t really help anybody just yet. Just being able to talk to them doesn’t mean she can help them.

“Donnie Darko was killed when a jet engine fell from the sky and crushed him while he was sleeping. The government never located the plane from which the engine fell, nor did they even admit the incident ever occurred. But that was just the beginning of the tragedy… and the mystery”

No truer words were ever spoken. First of all, this prologue is about as close to the original Donnie Darko film that this movie ever gets. S. Darko is indeed the beginning of a tragedy. It’s more a disaster than a tragedy, really. It involves a loss of life -- your life. 103 minutes of your life to be exact, unless of course you’re stupid enough to watch the extras as well. That’s not a tragedy. I’d call that a self inflicted wound. The mystery? That’s an easy one. It’s a mystery to me that this film ever got off the ground, let alone released, albeit as a direct to video affair. Donnie Darko wasn’t a great film, but it was an intriguing one that left the audience with some thought provoking images. But there appears to be a fine line between thought provoking and mind numbing. S. Darko is mired in its own abstractness, a serious movie not to be taken seriously at all. In the end, I’m not even sure what the filmmakers were trying to do. I heard them try to explain it, justify it is likely the more accurate term. Still, I can’t help but suspect that whatever it was they were trying to do they failed miserably. And if you end up watching this film it will be you who pays for their shortcomings. Good cinema deserves to be rewarded. Bad cinema deserves simply to be ignored.

“I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

That pretty much sums things up quite nicely for you. The filmmakers must agree, because the scene figured prominently in their marketing campaign for the film. In the end it’s not really anything that we haven’t seen before with Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson, or a handful of other actors in the role. What might make the whole experience somewhat unique is that Liam Neeson isn’t usually associated with this kind of a character. You usually find him more on the cerebral side of things. He plays the part well in spite of the handicap that he never really looks quite right for the part. Give the thespian credit for making the whole idea at least somewhat believable.