Posted in Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on May 11th, 2011
Lesser know than the Loch Ness Monster, Chupacabra and many other crypotzoilogical monsters is the Mongolian Death Worm. This SyFy production gives the mythological beast the Tremors “graboid” treatment and makes them desert prowling beasts with extending tongues/second mouths. Being compared to Tremors is a high summit to reach., as this film is outclassed by that film in all aspects.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on May 10th, 2011
I suppose there is something to be said about shows where we literally watch the main characters grow up. This season of Boy Meets World sees Cory Matthews (played by Ben Savage) and his cohorts enter their final year of high school. In some fashion, this is the season where the boy really is about to “meet the world,” but perhaps that is just a little too much poetry smeared onto this season of family friendly prose.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on May 1st, 2011
Sometimes you walk into a movie simply knowing that you are about to watch a train wreck. I am not talking about Unstoppable or Under Siege 2 (though the latter was arguably a train wreck in its own right) either. It is the kind of movie where you hope there is enough action and some mindless t&a to get you through the ninety minutes. Then maybe at the end of it all, one can forget about it and move on. Let us move on to the dinner course this evening, Blood Out.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Bob Ross on April 14th, 2011
Urine jokes. Fart jokes. Breast and penis jokes. What could be more tasteless? How about telling them all in a place where people are trying to eat? That’s the unappetizing summary of Still Waiting …, one of those unnecessary, straight-to-video sequels designed to make a quick payoff before the first film’s fans catch on.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Bob Ross on April 9th, 2011
Everybody loves dolphins. We marvel at their graceful rolls among the waves. We enjoy watching trained ones do tricks for Sea World audiences, and some of us even pay big bucks to swim with them at specially built facilities. But behind these glimpses of intelligent marine life, there’s a deadly, disgraceful hypocrisy. There are mega-millions being made at the expense of innocent creatures, and the people behind the conspiracy will stop at nothing – including murder – to preserve their lucrative, dirty business.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 9th, 2011
I must admit, I came at The Storm Warriors with very little knowledge of its creators, the Pang brothers, but as someone who appreciates Asian cinema, I felt that I had the sensibilities to enjoy the film.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on March 2nd, 2011
Ok…here’s the pitch! A movie that’s just jokes! Dirty jokes! Story? Maybe sure sure, but its all about jokes! We all love dirty jokes right? We have some actors act them out…one after the other…and that’s it…the whole movie is jokes!
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 1st, 2011
Everyone knows Charlie Chaplin. For many, he is the symbol of the silent age of film. The stiff figure in trademark hat and twirling cane comes easily to mind. But that wasn’t really Charlie Chaplin. That was a character he created called The Tramp, or often The Little Tramp. So, it would seem that Chaplin spent most of his career playing The Tramp, who in turn played many different characters on the silent screen. He was known for his subversive antics and charming stare.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 31st, 2011
“Hello. I want to play a game.”
Like the Beatles used to sing, when Jigsaw says hello, most folks are about to say goodbye. Jigsaw might very well be dead, but his legacy is alive and thriving. If you don’t know who Jigsaw is by now, this might not be the best place to start. He’s the Rube Goldberg of horror movies.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 20th, 2011
“Dear Screenwriter,
“Here’s your writing prompt: You are to write a feature-length screenplay with only one on-screen character. This character is to remain in only one location for the entire duration of the film, and that one location must be a 2′ x 7′ wooden box. You cannot use flashbacks, cut-aways, or any other narrative device that would take the action outside that box. Sound impossible? It’s not. In fact, all this exactly describes the film BURIED.”
Or how about this one.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 18th, 2011
“You have conquered and I yield. Yet, henceforward art though also dead – dead to the world, to Heaven, and to hope. In me did thou exist – and, in my death, see by this image, which is thy own, how utterly thou hast murdered thyself.” – Edgar Allan Poe
The last of the Lionsgate / AfterDark double features covers the middle of the road. The films both deal more in science fiction or alternate realities than they do in any form of horror, one with the idea of a menacing world of doppelgangers and the other with changing the past through time travel.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 18th, 2011
“Between 1954 and 1976 nearly 600 children were voluntarily submitted for participation in a number of behavioral studies. These experimental facilities were privately funded and tucked away in secluded regions of the South. Families were paid a fee for their involvement and were told the studies were harmless. Most of the children were never heard from again.”
What we have heard from again are these little independent films from Lionsgate and After Dark. You might remember them as the 8 Films To Die For. They were usually around Halloween
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 18th, 2011
“O joyful. O delightful. O fortunate one. Weep no more, this departed son. Read these words. Sound thy voice. Revel and sing. Rejoice! Rejoice! Life’s for the living, not for the dead. Forget tomorrow. Live now instead. This night you breathe, while they cannot. So dance ye soul on their resting spot.”
It’s another double feature from Lionsgate and AfterDark. This one offers one of the best of the series with a rather flat companion.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by BABY on January 14th, 2011
Baby here. Yeah, I’m the German shepherd/chow mix that runs security here at Upcomingdiscs. I also get called upon to help out with the dog movie reviews from time to time. Now, somebody needs to get themselves a good book on proper mammal identification around here. You see, Alpha And Omega is about wolves. I’m a dog. That spells D O G. Look at it this way. That’s God spelled backwards, and that’s no coincidence. If you doubt me, just let me get a couple of seconds with one of the delivery guys.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on January 11th, 2011
Most people who have read my reviews before know that I don’t particularly care for prison movies. They hardly ever have a complicated story and instead focus their time solely on fights and homosexuality. But there are examples out there that go against the grain. One such movie stars a very young Sean Penn who is a young thug on the wrong side of the law. He ends up in a juvenile detention center which is made in ever way to appear like a prison. It is simply called: Bad Boys.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on January 11th, 2011
The Graves:
When you first look at the title for this entry in After Dark’s 4th annual 8 Films To Die For, you probably have summoned up images of a dank and foreboding cemetery where unspeakable horrors rise from their resting places to torment the, albeit temporarily, living. This is definitely a little bit of a case of false advertising and the misleading use of a title. These Graves are sisters, Megan (Grant) and Abby (Murray), to be exact.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 8th, 2010
“September 19th. Dear Diary, as I sit here thinking about picking up the pieces of what used to be my life, I realized something. Every room in this house holds a painful memory for me. Even though he’s suffering, something somewhere in me wants him to suffer more. A few months and a divorce can take you through just as many emotions as 18 years in a marriage. And I’m starting to feel all of them at once. But the one that is clear is rage. Signed, a Mad Black Woman.”
Lately I’ve had an opportunity to watch a ton of Madea on Blu-ray.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 3rd, 2010
Truth is I don’t do very well with Christmas movies. Most of them reek of bad acting and a whole mess of clichés. One of my least favorite movies of all time is A Christmas Story, a masterpiece of absolutely awful movie making. So, needless to say when I received Thomas Kinkade’s Christmas Cottage, I wasn’t exactly abundant with anticipation. Let’s just hope that we don’t want to shoot our eye out over it or anything.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 2nd, 2010
“Well when you gettin’ “got” and somebody done “got” you and you go “get” them, when you get ’em everybody’s gon’ get got.”
When Tyler Perry started writing his small plays, he probably never had a clue just how far it might all go from there. The plays had a solid audience, but there was always concern that the appeal would be too narrow. That didn’t stop Perry from putting together a few relatively low-budget films located in his adopted film hometown of Atlanta. For the most part the studio got pretty much what it expected.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 30th, 2010
Tyler Perry burst on the scene in 2005 with Diary of a Mad Black Woman. It was one of the worst-reviewed movies of the year, but when it raked in over $50 million dollars at the box office, Tyler Perry silenced critics and became a force to be reckoned with in Hollywood. Before his movie-making career, Perry was already a huge success in the African-American community, having written several Christian and family-oriented plays upon which many of his movies are based.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 30th, 2010
Tyler Perry once again dons multiple costumes to incarnate several characters, most prominently Madea, the no-nonsense but mischievous matriarch of a very fractious family. She is ordered by the court to take in a runaway as a foster child, and that project of reclamation joins that of helping out her nieces. They have a mother from hell. One sister is struggling to learn how to love again, while the other is being forced into marriage with the hideously abusive Blair Underwood.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on November 29th, 2010
My wife is known as a very big Madea fan. She’s watched most of the Madea films and often quotes lines at random. So, naturally when I saw I was receiving a Tyler Perry film, I thought I might be able to slide the movie into my wife’s direction. However, Tyler is trying to expand his repertoire into something more than a one-trick pony and I kinda got left holding the bag (or the disc in this case). This should be quite the adventure staring Kathy Bates and Alfre Woodard, let us begin.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 24th, 2010
“Man, we’ll die with you. Just don’t ask us to do it twice.”
Remember the old days of the action movie? Those films where someone like Stallone or Schwarzenegger would run around and take out armies of bad guys while barely breaking a sweat. You know the kind of movie I’m talking about. The ones where the hero goes up against a hail of bullets and explosions and manages to pick off the bad guys without catching a single slug himself.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 10th, 2010
“From the dawn of time, we came, moving silently down through the centuries, living many secret lives, struggling to reach the time of The Gathering, where the few who remain will battle to the last. No one has ever known we were among you …Until now.”
We all want to believe that we’re special. We fantasize that one day we’ll discover that we aren’t the mere mortal people we thought that we were.
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Posted in Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on November 7th, 2010
A hitman is getting into his senior years; a notable luxury for someone in his line of work. To feel more secure, he plans to pull off one last job before calling it quits. In order for this film to have an interesting plot something surely must go wrong, and it does. Now reunited with his son, who is aspiring to learn from dear ole (estranged) dad and elevate himself in the crime world, Charlie Valentine hopes to settles things in one way or another.
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