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Suspended Animation

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 9th, 2004

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Suspended animation is a story with a lot of promise. Fifteen minutes into the film and it looks like we’re seeing a Misery ripoff with a cannibal twist. From that point on I’m not sure if I’m watching Misery, Deliverance, or Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There are some truly suspenseful moments in the film, but they are spaced too far apart with needless muddled plotlines. The film style is eerily reminiscent of the Italian suspense masters like Brava and Argento without the gore. The Spaghetti Nightmares are an obvious …
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Call Me Madam

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 9th, 2004

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Synopsis

Inspired by a real figure, Call Me Madam is a good-nature political satire, which seesEthel Merman appointed ambassador to Lichtenberg (i.e. Luxembourg). The government of thetiny dukedom is hoping for a massive US loan (which will make possible the marriage betweenVera-Ellen and a neighbouring country’s cold fish nobleman). Merman, however, has nointention of granting that loan, until she meets General George Sanders (sporting a silly MittleEuropean accent). Sanders…
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Schindler’s List

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 9th, 2004

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Synopsis

Liam Neeson is Oskar Schindler, ladies man with an eye for the main chance. He makes afortune in German-occupied Warsaw, staffing his factory with the cut-rate labour provided bythe Jews. As the Nazi persecution of the Jews becomes more and more murderous, Schindler’sconscience is awakened, and he eventually becomes intent not on making money through cheaplabour, but in saving the lives of his employees.

Shot in black and white, with the disturbing exception of a li…
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Walk Like a Man

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 8th, 2004

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The 80’s were full of fun, campy comedies. Weird Science, The Money Pit… even Funny Farm had a certain charm. Unfortunately, for every Stripes there were as least six films like our feature presentation.

Walk Like a Man stars Howie Mandell, the 80’s version of Carrot Top. He’s an annoying hack, yet somehow he remained in the public spotlight. The film’s plot is a simple one; Bobo (Mandell) is a boy that was raised by wolves, and now he must learn to fit into society, or el…
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Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 8th, 2004

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Come join the Baker family (all twelve of them) for a fun, entertaining and albeit crazy ride through their life. While trying to manage twelve kids and a job Tom and Kate Baker (Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt) manage to do it all, while still staying somewhat sane.

With a great cast of Hollywood veterans and up and comers “Cheaper By the Dozen” offers something for kids and adults of all ages. The dynamic between Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt presents a real sense of family togetherness and even the idea that a…
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Master and Commander – The Far Side of the World

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 5th, 2004

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Master and Commander is an epic tale that is adapted from 2 novels of a 20 novel collection by writer Patrick O’Brian. This Napoleonic-era story follows the escapades of Captain “Lucky” Jack Aubrey (Russell Crowe) and his intrepid crew aboard the British war frigate HMS Surprise, as they try to hunt down and capture or destroy the French warship Acheron. The Film gets off to a fast start as Capt. Aubrey and crew are ambushed by the Acheron and decimated in short order. This initial attack is well done and well acted …
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Lizzie McGuire – Totally Crushed (Volume 4)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 3rd, 2004

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Ahh, little Lizzie McGuire. The last time we saw our teen queen on DVD, she was surrounded by an assortment of special guest stars. This time around, the topic is one of the most popular among teen girls… the crush. Specifically, we’re talking about such dreamboats as the paperboy, a substitute teacher, Larry the geek, and of course, Ethan.

For me, some of the best scenes in this show feature my favorite Nerd, Robert Carradine. Many sitcoms paint the character of the father as either disinterested in…
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C.S.I. Crime Scene Investigation – The Complete Third Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 3rd, 2004

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CSI continued to improve into its third season. The stories are as crisp and innovative as ever. Surprisingly, the show did not suffer from the addition of its fine but inferior Miami cousin. Minor characters like lab tech Greg are put to much better use. The f/x get better also, and a strong cast of guest stars doesn’t hurt the mix either.

Audio

This Dolby Digital 5.1 sound once again reinvents TV sound. Highs and lows both exhibit dynamic performance. Dialogue is crisp and always clear. …
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Wishcraft

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 3rd, 2004

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I am often fooled into watching a bad film because the box looked good. I can’t tell you how many times I have been in the video store and uttered the phrase “this looks good”, only to get home and be reminded that looks can be deceiving. Rare have been the times when I found a good film packaged in a bad box. It happens, but not that often. Lucky for me, this is one of those times.

Now, there’s really nothing special about this movie, mind you. The film is just a rehash of the plethora of teen slasher flic…
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Undefeated

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 2nd, 2004

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Let’s face it… when it comes to boxing movies, there’s Raging Bull, and then there’s everything else. Rocky (and the subsequent cash driven vehicles) is a great film, but not really a great film about boxing. Even Daniel Day-Lewis’ The Boxer is more about the man than the sport. It’s hard to make a great boxing film. Not only is it extremely difficult to capture the action authentically, but very few actors have the physical ability to pull off such a role.

Well, I don’t know how easily…
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Meet Me in St. Louis

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 1st, 2004

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Synopsis

The story begins in summer of 1903, some seven months before the World’s Fair arrives inSt. Louis. The film is then divided up into the seasons as we follow the life of the Smith family.At the centre is Judy Garland as Esther Smith, backed up by a very young Margaret O’Brien aslittle sister “Tootie.” In terms of plot, nothing much happens: Garland falls in love, and there issome tension when it seems that the pater familias has landed a job in New York and the familywill ha…
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Campfire Stories

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 1st, 2004

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Oh, where to begin? I guess I should start with the directors. That’s right, DIRECTORS. Plural. There are three of them. Apparently, the first two didn’t suck enough, so they had to bring in a third to fill out the talentless triumvirate. Any film directed by three people who are not related should make moviegoers instantly suspicious.

You know what else makes me suspicious? Any movie that stars both Meadow Soprano and Buster Poindexter. My suspicions grew when I realized that they were only in a small port…
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For the Moment

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 1st, 2004

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Synopsis

World War II is in full swing. A constant stream of pilots is needed in Europe, and trainingfacility in Manitoba is helping meet that demand. Men from all over the world come here to bemolded, in six weeks, into pilots. Among them is Australian Russell Crowe. Living nearby isChristianne Hirt, whose husband has been overseas for two years. She and Crowe meet at adance, and despite good intentions and an awareness of how fleeting their time together is, theyfall in love.

S.I.C.K.

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 31st, 2004

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Synopsis

Ken Hebert (lead actor and film’s producer) invites three friends out to his cabin in thewoods. Oddly, these friends are either people he hasn’t seen in years, or barely knows. Along theway, they pick up another young woman who’s been having some hitch-hiking problems. Thatnight, the stranger tells a gruesome story about a killer clown. And wouldn’t you know it? Oneby one, the cast starts being killed by that very figure.

It’s amateur hour, folks. Looks like a bunch…
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Kung Fu – The Complete First Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 30th, 2004

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JULES – “That’s what I’ve been sitting here contemplating. First, I’m gonna’ deliver this case to Marsellus. Then, basically, I’m gonna’ walk the earth.”

VINCENT – “What do you mean, walk the earth?”

JULES – “You know, like Caine in KUNG FU. Just walk from town to town, meet people, get in adventures.”

These words, spoken between John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson in Quentin Tarrantino’s amazing film Pulp Fiction, marked the first time that I ever heard of …
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Wild Things 2

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 30th, 2004

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Synopsis

Susan Ward, presumably cast because she’s a dead ringer for Denise Richards, is a sad littlerich girl at one of those beachfront high schools populated, to judge from the evidence on hand,by porn stars. In between slow-motion beach volleyball games, her life seems to be falling apart.Her mother died years go in the Louisiana swamp. Her rich stepfather is first threatened by agangster, and is then killed in a plane crash. Not only is Ward’s inheritance pitiful, but queenbitc…
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King of New York

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 30th, 2004

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Synopsis

Crime kingpin Christopher Walken is released from prison, and immediately reasserts hiscontrol over the underworld. All sorts of rivals are dispatched messily. He is also at odds withthe police, who are determined to bring him down. Our ganglord isn’t all bad, though: he hasall sorts of impressive community projects in mind.

This last detail is perhaps the most telling point: we are in the realm of full-on fantasy here.Director Abel Ferrara and long-time screenwrite…
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Friends – The Complete Seventh Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 30th, 2004

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Synopsis

Having exhausted just about every other romantic combination involving the ever-popularcast, the writers finally settled down to make a wedding actually happen. The preparations forthe wedding and all the associated complications form the backbone of the season, while variousother subplots (Rachel’s hunky new assistant, roommate musical chairs, etc) weave in and out.We are also asked to believe that a) Rachel is only turning 30 now; and b) this is a HugeDeal.

Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 29th, 2004

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Hot on the heels of The Great Race, Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines was a bit of silliness and fun for 20th Century Fox. The Monty Python-styled opening credits set the tone for this British humor film, also known as How I Flew From London To Paris in 25 Hours and 11 Minutes. If the film suffers at all, it is the length. At almost 2 1/2 hours, it takes quite a while to get to the race. It’s almost 2 hours before the meat of the film begins. While there are many clever and memorable…
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100 Mile Rule

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 29th, 2004

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The 100 Mile Rule, as a corny salesman puts it, means that when you are more than 100 miles from your wife, cheating doesn’t count. It is some kind of moral loophole used by salesmen who travel frequently, allowing them to be unfaithful to their wives. While the phrase is quite original, the film is made up of parts belonging to other movies, a kind of Frankenstein if you will. Not to say that 100 Mile Rule resembles that monster, because it is actually quite enjoyable. However, you will need to get past the m…
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Something’s Gotta Give

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 29th, 2004

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Synopsis

Inveterate bachelor Jack Nicholson (playing, essentially, himself) arrives at a beach housewith his latest young conquest, only to run into her mother (Diane Keaton, also play, essentially,herself). Shortly thereafter, Nicholson has a heart attack, and is forced to remain in the Hamptonsunder the reluctant care of Keaton. A bond inevitably grows between them, even as she is beingromanced by the much younger Keanu Reeves.

It says something about our movie-conditioned…
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Devious Beings

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 29th, 2004

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Following closely on the heels of Doug Liman’s swift and engaging Go, of which director Mazzei must be a huge fan, Devious Beings follows Jackson (Andre B. Blake), Arrow (Patrick Van Horn), and Casey (Kevin Connolly), three childhood friends who push X for their supplier, Leo (Joseph Sicari). When their buyer, Tiny (Andre Rosey Brown) unexpectedly dies, they make off with the money and the product. However, dealer Damone (Robert Gossett), who was expecting to get the drugs in the deal, decides to get ev…
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Roxie Hart

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 28th, 2004

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Synopsis

Amoral would-be dance star Roxie Hart (Ginger Rogers) is convinced by her agent and areporter to take the blame for a murder. The thinking is that no woman has ever been convictedof murder in Chicago, and the attendant publicity will do wonders for her career. Truer wordswere never spoke, as the cynical dance of lawyers and media begins.

Many readers will, of course, have seen this story recently in the musical Chicago.Here you get the story with none of the …
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Stranded

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 28th, 2004

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Synopsis

The first manned mission to Mars goes wrong when the ship crash-lands, damaging itselfbeyond repair. Years will pass before any rescue mission can arrive, so the crew must find waysof surviving on the planet’s surface indefinitely. This will not be easy.

Nor will it be interesting. Though the special effects are pretty good for a lower-budget film,this Spanish effort is so boring, it’s almost a war crime. The dialogue moves beyond merebanality and into the absurd, a…
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High Wind in Jamaica, A

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 28th, 2004

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Often, the success of one film in theaters will bring on a wave of classics on DVD with a similar theme. In this case, the new films are Pirates of the Caribbean and Master and Commander. These modern box office successes have prompted 20th Century Fox to release some classic films about the high seas onto DVD. One such film is A High Wind in Jamaica.

There are quite a few problems with this film, but most of them lie within the narrative. The technical aspects are all handled well, wit…
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