1.85:1 Widescreen

In Tranzit is one of these odd films that you can never quite get a handle on. Even now I’m not exactly sure what kind of a film it was intended to be. While it takes place at the end of World War II and involves some Nazi officers in a Russian POW camp, I’m not sure that the film has all that much to do with the war, or POW camps for that matter. The film remains a kind of abstract art form with a rather loosely told story.

“So he Lord God banished him from the Garden Of Eden to serve the ground from which he had been taken.”

I love playing video games. I have since I was in my early 20’s and the first home console systems were being launched. Today I play platform games on my PS3. One of the unfortunate trends to come to modern video games is the ability to provide longer and more elaborate cut scenes.

Robert Calestino hasn’t had a lot of experience as either a writer or director, and it shows in Yonkers Joe. When he’s writing about the things he obviously knows and understands, the film is quite good and extremely engaging. Unfortunately, Calestino felt compelled to bring some heart into his picture in the person of Joe, Jr. While he thinks he’s adding a necessary emotional element to the story, he’s really delivering a distraction that makes the film somewhat less than it ought to be.

“A short time ago in a galaxy not so far, far away…

The year is 1998 and it is a period of galactic civil war. Scratch that. There is no civil war. That would be crazy! However, the past 15 years have been a dark time for Star Wars fans. But there is hope. A new Star Wars film is on the horizon. In 199 days, 34 hours, 33 minutes and 28 seconds the most anticipated movie of all time will be released. In the remote state of Ohio, two best friends and lifelong Star Wars fans have drifted apart. Little do they know that on Halloween Night, their paths will cross again.”

Too many cooks can spoil the broth.

This film's plot, on the surface, reads like a letter sent to Penthouse Forum. Strangely, said letter could have been written by either gender. Two out of work slabs of charming beefcake are mistaken for gigolos at a bar by two gorgeous and successful women. The women discover the truth about their one-night-stand partners but soon propose the idea of keeping them in the pool house as 'cabana boys' that will be fed beer and satellite TV until they are called inside for sex.

“I swear by God this sacred oath: That I shall render unconditional obedience to Adolph Hitler, Fuhrer of the German Reich and people, Supreme Commander of the armed forces. And that I shall at all times be ready, as a brave soldier, to give my life for this oath.”

Taking a page from Roman history, Adolph Hitler required all of his armed troops to swear this oath, not to their country as most armed forces require, but to him personally.

Some weeks back, I wrote about Splinter, and opined that director Toby Wilkins showed real skill. I also expressed worry over the fact that this follow-up was this, the third entry in a franchise that began with a remake in the first place. So here we are. Was I right to worry? Sadly, yes.

My history with Westerns isn’t exactly a vast one. I watched a bunch of Westerns with my dad growing up and I continued to watch the bigger ones of the modern era like Tombstone and Unforgiven as I progressed through my teenage years and young adulthood. John Wayne is kinda a mystery to me. He’s a huge gritty guy with a lot of patriotism and a funny way of talking. For lack of a better analogy, Sylvester Stallone is my generation’s John Wayne. Or Chuck Norris I guess. El Dorado is an interesting western flic because it was shot later in John Wayne’s career but he had still had the swagger of earlier pictures. A true classic revisited by the minds at Paramount.

“So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye. So you think you can love me and leave me to die. Oh Baby, just can’t do this to me baby. Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here… Nothing really matters. Anyone cane see. Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me.”

I don’t think I can ever listen to Bohemian Rhapsody without conjuring up the image of the gang in the Mirth Mobile bobbing their heads up and down and singing to the Queen classic song.

“White supremist world was cancelled.”

When you talk about Wayne’s World 2 you can’t help but talk about disappointment. I mentioned in my review for the first film that over the span of nearly 20 years the skit had lost some of its luster. I certainly wasn’t nearly as entertained now as I had been when I first saw the film in the early 1990’s. That same principle appears to have been true just a year later when Wayne’s World 2 was released.