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Jack Webb invented the modern television police procedural with the creation of Dragnet, first as a radio play and eventually as a successful television series. The series told the tale of a pair of L.A. detectives. There wasn’t any flair or action sequences. No car chases and no gun fights. When Jack Webb turned his attention to the patrol officer, he realized that some of that formula would have to change. But he wouldn’t tweak it very much. There was the occasional gunfire, but it was rare and was never the focus of any given story. Instead Webb concentrated on the actual procedures and duties of the everyday patrol officers,

From the very beginning writer/director Matt Aselton wants to make a statement with his first film, Gigantic. The tiny title letters belying the largesse of the title itself right away appears to be telling you that the film will go against any expectations. It’s a brave independent piece of cinema that exhibits ton of promise and potential that is never fully woven together coherently enough to satisfy even the most art house of audiences.

Next month, my mom turns fifty-eight years young (I would say old, but I’m pretty sure she can still reach across county lines and wallop me one). She’s been around for quite a while and despite the typical things that age do to people, she’s still a kicking. This usually means gossiping to neighbors, clipping coupons and watching soap operas. My mom has watched a lot of soap operas including General Hospital, Young & The Restless and some night time ones too. The night time soap operas I speak of are of yesteryear like Dallas or Dynasty. That’s why when I saw “These Old Broads”, I knew in a minute who this release was aimed at.

An insubordinate officer (Bo Svenson), an African-American who Has Been Pushed Too Far (Fred Williamson), a thief, a gambler, and a coward are among the prisoners loaded up onto an Allied convoy in 1944. When the trucks come under attack from the Germans, the prisoners escape, and decide to make their way to Switzerland. But their journey is a complicated one, with another firefight around every corner, culminating in a particularly violent case of mistaken identity, which results in their volunteering to tackle a suicidal train-jacking.

Unable to face life as a lawyer, having been pushed into law school by his father (Tom Hanks), Troy Gable (Colin Hanks, looking uncannily like his father) aspires to become a writer. In order to put food on the table, he becomes the road manager for Buck Howard (John Malkovich), a former big-name mentalist who now works half-empty theatres in towns Troy didn't even know existed. By turns charming and tyrannical, Buck keeps hoping for the big comeback and return to his Tonight Show glory days, and drags Troy along for a bumpy ride down the back roads of show business.

This is the story of two Vikings who are mistakingly left behind in Newfoundland in the year 1007. As these two find ways to survive, they encounter Irish monks and Aboriginal people, and these same encounters ultimately lead to rifts in their bond with each other. The beautiful landscapes become a backdrop for a sometimes violent look at the people who discovered North America centuries before Columbus or any other discoverer. Oh, and we also get bad translations of Old Norse, a lot of metal music and a scene of actual defecation.

An American Affair is set in the early 1960’s.  The John F. Kennedy administration is at the height of its popularity and yet there is still quite a bit of controversy swirling after the Cuban missile crisis. Adam Stafford (Cameron Bright) is a thirteen year old enduring the awkward years of his life when he catches a glimpse of his neighbor across the street.  His neighbor is Catherine Caswell (Gretchen Mol) and she eventually hires Adam as her landscaper.  Despite the enormous age-gap between Catherine and Adam, a friendship emerges.  As the film continues, Caswell’s complicated history begins to return and the two of them become involved in the growing speculation about the JFK administration.   

“Four turtles. Four brothers genetically reborn in the sewers of New York. Named after the great Renaissance masters and trained as ninjas. They battled many creatures and foes before defeating their arch enemy, The Shredder. But, now a greater evil is poised to destroy their brotherhood. An evil born 3000 years ago.”

What started as a low budget comic has grown into quite a sensation. The Turtles are everywhere. There are cartoons, books, comics, movies, and thousands of toys. They’ve been translated into just about every language in the world. The 1980’s and 1990’s were alive with Turtle power. With yet another film now in the works, the Turtles are about to make a comeback.

“At the end of the Ice Age the machine came. It came from outside. It came from space. It came with one purpose, to change man into mutant.”

Mutant Chronicles was based on an old style role playing game. This was the kind where someone actually had to get out some paper and keep track of the game. Real old school. So now the property has been turned basically into a video game. Yeah, I know this is a movie review, but I just spend about an hour and a half feeling like I just watched somebody else play a video game, and not a very good one at that.

Nature’s Grave looks like it could have been a made for television movie for The Animal Planet or one of those learning channels. If they were ever thinking of branching out a bit into the nature gone mad type of show, wait a minute. They already have. This one attempts to be a thriller/horror film but doesn’t ever come close to either definition. The wild animals never amount to anything more than an attacking bird or a dead manatee. I’m not sure what a fan of this movie was looking for when he or she came here, but I suspect whatever it was, it was very hard not to be disappointed.