Conspiracy

I couldn’t find her name anywhere on the credits, but I simply cannot believe that Rosie O’Donnell didn’t have anything at all to do with the film Conspiracy. The film is a thinly veiled pot shot at the current administration, or at least Dick Cheney. Gary Cole plays a guy named Rhodes, who is really intended to represent Cheney. Rhodes controls a multibillion dollar corporation that has managed to set itself up in Iraq making millions from the war thanks to corrupt government officials. His company, Halicorp, is obviously intended to be Haliburton. Rhodes has also taken control of a small Arizona border town. Here his vigilante friends patrol the border, turning back, and even killing, Mexicans attempting to enter the United States. He justifies his deeds in the name of counterterrorism, but the truth his he holds the entire town in fear. Enter MacPherson (Val Kilmer) who recently lost his leg in the Marines in Iraq. When he returns home he comes to Rhodes’s town looking for a Mexican comrade in arms. He finds that there’s no trace of his friend, and his questions have drawn all the wrong kind of attention. After some rather silly plot developments, MacPherson becomes a one man army to challenge Rhodes’s control. Apparently someone has watched Clint Eastwood’s Pale Rider one too many times here. Now Kilmer has grown old and rather obese in recent years, so the film needs to take that into account with his fighting style. After all, no one’s going to believe he’s got any real fight in that couch potato body. He wins his fights mostly by being able to duck really well. And returning a bowl of chili he recently ate on someone’s shoes. Figuring that Eastwood scowl was already done, Kilmer appears to be half asleep during each fight. I know I was. He does pack a mean nail gun, and you should just see what he can do with some rolled up paper. When they finally do put some real fire power in his hands, the rest just gets too comical.

Gary Cole is probably the only thing this film has going for it. Kilmer isn’t showing any chops here, and everybody else is mere window dressing. Even the locations are rather dull and bring to mind the minimalist approach of Eastwood’s Man With No Name films, only without the superb cinematography. This would just be a funny direct to video release if it weren’t so sad. The Eastwood images are such a stretch and just look plain ridiculous in this cheap, preachy film. Likely the largest line item on the film’s budget was Kilmer’s food services bill.

Video

Conspiracy is presented in a dull 1.85:1 aspect ratio. If you are going to make a film in the middle of a lot of dirt, it is necessary to find a way to compensate for the almost monochrome nature of your locations. These guys complimented dull soft browns with a lot more dull soft browns. The picture is also often over bright in contrast, sun flares from the camera and other shiny surfaces washing out any chance the picture has of any detail and sharpness. Some locations are better than others, most notably interiors, which at least have correct lighting. Black levels are often pitiful and fuzzy. Don’t even get me started on the lack of definition or shadow detail. The night fight climax is so badly lit that you’ll miss some of what passes for action by not being able to make anything out. Heads up. Don’t even try.

Audio

The Dolby Digital 5.1 track is just as unimpressive as the video. There’s really no expansiveness to the sound field at any time in the picture. When you consider the open space locations, the audio feels very confining. Dialog’s OK, but that’s really all you’re going to get here. Even the little bit of soundtrack comes off muddled and tedious on the ears.

Special Features

Apparently the studio felt as strongly about this film as I did. They included no extras.

<>Final Thoughts
Look. Low budget, no budget, I’ve seen just about everywhere in the range you can imagine. I’ve marveled at budgets of hundreds of millions and laughed at films costing under a grand to make. There’s a place for it all. Budget is also no indication of quality. We’ve all seen blockbuster dogs and the occasional independent gem. Even direct to video has produced some nice trinkets from time to time. Conspiracy has only one purpose, at least as far as I can tell, and that’s to make an unoriginal political statement. There’s not even anything wrong with that, but could you at least look like you’re trying? Neither the actors, camera operators, or writer look like they particularly care about what they’re doing here. If they don’t, why should I? Trust me. Skip this one all the way. “It’s world famous… well, county famous.”