“So he Lord God banished him from the Garden Of Eden to serve the ground from which he had been taken.”
I love playing video games. I have since I was in my early 20’s and the first home console systems were being launched. Today I play platform games on my PS3. One of the unfortunate trends to come to modern video games is the ability to provide longer and more elaborate cut scenes. If you’re not familiar with the term, a cut scene is that little cartoon bit inside of your game experience. They often introduce the game and also serve as break points between levels or significant achievements. The first cut scene I was ever aware of was the little interludes in the arcade game, Ms. Pac Man. They were short and gave your fingers a quick respite to work out the cramps and prepare for more action. But larger data storage has led to longer and more elaborate examples of the scenes. Now, most gamers are hitting buttons hoping to bypass the event and get back to kicking some butt. There’s nothing more frustrating than watching one go on and on and on while you wait for some action. It’s become about as entertaining as waiting for a disc to load up. Why am I telling you this? Because, that’s exactly what Eden Log feels like through its entire run. It’s nothing more than one long cut scene. And there’s no action for your fingers when it’s over except the satisfying sound of the disc ejecting after you’ve worked some magic on your remote control.
Don’t ask me to describe the story for Eden Log. I’ve watched it and I still haven’t a clue. The best I can guess is that some future society has set up a sanctuary on a devastated world. You appear to have to prove yourself through some kind of trials before entering the sanctuary, except that there isn’t any sanctuary. Even if you don’t buy the cut scene explanation, it’s still like watching someone play a game you don’t quite get for two hours. I don’t know about you, but video gaming isn’t a spectator sport. In the end, this film is an absolute mess. The story is quite literally mind numbing. The characters might as well be game avatars for the development you get. Even the environments look like video game worlds. I’m not sure if that was the intention or not, but that’s exactly the experience that awaits you in Eden Log.
Video
Eden Log is presented in its original aspect ratio of 1.85:1. You’ll find a 1080p image arrived at through an AVC/MPEG-4 codec. For some reason I can’t quite understand, much of the color has been washed away from this image. I guess there was a feeling of documentary that dictated the artistic choice. The whole thing looks rather nondescript and colorless. Movement is awkward, again playing into the whole video game analogy. It’s also a very dark film with inexcusably weak black levels for a high definition Blu-ray release. I don’t see the point of releasing this thing in HD at all. There is almost no detail or clarity. The image is intentionally soft on the focus and at times almost a blur.
Audio
The DTS-HD Master Audio clocks in at about 2.7 mbps of uncompressed audio. Here you get the best aspect of quality to be found on the disc. To continue with the game comparison, this film sports a very typical game score. It’s a pulsating affair with a lot of punch in the sub range. There is almost no dialog at all. What is there comes out just fine. Mostly you get a lot of Doom style grunts and winces from the main character. The surrounds can be pretty aggressive, but again the sound design is very much like that of a shooter game.
Special Features
French version of the film.
Final Thoughts:
Maybe there is just something decidedly “French” about this film that just doesn’t play to an American viewer. I just can’t imagine there is anyone out there that would like this crap. If you’re into the video games, you don’t have the patience to watch one. You want to be controlling the character and shaping the story somewhat. It all comes across as incredibly self-indulgent and should remain so. Save yourself a horrible movie experience and skip this one. Don’t blame me if all you can utter after a brain freezing session with this one is “Oomph”.
